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thome
04-17-2010, 07:02 AM
So I roll into this bar looking all -Elegantly Wasted- leather clad hombre left leg numb from a 80 mph 2 hr ride...and I see this lovely young thing tending bar, at the local dive bar I have been -drinkie time thome- at fool for many a moon.

I creep in all creepy..and I aint pritty anyway so..

A explain my position on how I beat the rain that is due in the am friday, this was thursday at about 10:30 pm.How I rode into the biting bullets of water but the last hr I was dried off by the clear skys and the 80mph blow drier that I purchased in 07.

What will you have she sais, all sweety like and I say Shot o' Jack in Rock Glass and a Coops'lite.

I have three - 5 more beers within the next 1 & 1/2 hrs and make my usuall so your a neww ww?thursday night bartender here, huh ? jargon...nothing special...just normal how do you do and I know you do..? I’ll bet you doo..

Lemmie splain it Too YA! she is probably 25 - 30 yrs old tiny framed pettite, 5'4" tho and very shapely for a skinny girl... little everywhere and got these Sarah Palin glasses on (she keeps unkepmt light blondy brown, evening beach sand , hair carelessly placed up on her head witha butterfly clip), looking at me with.... in front of the warm blue eyes that seem to have seen, a bit of the world, but not all hard like my -Irish- orbs..she looks fine..real fine, but I generally only comply with burlesquely build ladies...bla bla bla...

To the point: it comes time for me to e'splian my get away procedure .....so, I had commented earlier about another girl there who complained about her bad hair day and how she had spent the last two days trying to change her hair back from carrot orange too; does it look ok? And my comment was, well are you going to do something with your hair?? when…?? I waited for the look and when it came I immediatly follwed to the punchline with.. this is how I get the chicks with my innability to say the right things, we all had a giggle some girls are cool with jokes and they all seemed cool with that one..

As I say my good by's to the bartenderessess she reaches out her hand across the bar and grabs mine in a complimentary shake..so I comply she explains her friday night shift, holding my hand; tomorrow, and the other nights she will be working...then her hand is still there, like 30 seconds later and I attempt to remove mine from hers and she grips down very lightly no pressure just the right grip and hold...If you know what I mean..?

..and looks me in the eyes and holds and holds and like there then is the moment, the moment she tried to melt into my eyes. I saw it coming I have seen it before, that next thing you know she is going to enslave my lips and across the bar the akward silence that speakes volumes of creamy delights and the new found sugar that we somehow connected on some other level….the bar had gone silent everyone was looking down the bar at us and had stopped their conversations they disappeared and time stood still I am saying 1 min went by and she wouldn’t let go, then another thirty second of her mind meld with me.. I broke the dream in her eyes, yes she is single that was the first conversation we had way back at the Jack and Coopslight….idol chatter of Huh! Women and her Huh,Men!! So I cut her off with my eyes and pull my hand away I have seen this before and not not don’t want….Oh sh!t clicking in my brain…not this…. what have I done..??? Not again the chemical that evades and eludes was working…and she knew it…

I walk out saying I will try to comebye soon and see her again…I always say that and never comply….and I didn’t I stayed home last night knowing two things….

1. I am a great tipper she made 7 buck off my 12 $ tab…and she needs the money… and I seemed like a semi decent guy with a story or two…?

2. She saw something in my eyes that she knew we were old souls together and wanted to see more..?

So was I tricked( not rite word) by a professional bartender who makes us feel special and that is their job the casual flirt that makes patrons want to come back.?

Or am I going to have to start cleaning my bathroom regularly and perhaps understand that… yes I do need a set of yellow flower curtains…. Curtains new curtains sweet lovely cutains..?

Sensible Shoes
04-17-2010, 10:31 AM
Man can write.

PETE'S BROTHER
04-17-2010, 10:45 AM
no yellow fucking flower fucking curtains. fuck

PETE'S BROTHER
04-17-2010, 10:46 AM
thomey got twitterpated.:ashamed:

Blaze
04-17-2010, 11:41 AM
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http://www.wrongdiagnosis.com/risk/saliva.htm
http://www.teensadvisor.com/teen-dating/kissing.html

Little Texan
04-17-2010, 11:50 AM
I think you've went and made your old flame Blaze jealous, thome! :biggrin:

Blaze
04-17-2010, 11:54 AM
:mad0248:

thome
04-17-2010, 01:07 PM
no yellow fucking flower fucking curtains. fuck

No Fukk SHIT NOT NoT ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!

Must maintains sssss So I cut her off with my eyes and pull my hand away I have seen this before and not not don’t want….Oh sh!t clicking in my brain…not this…. what have I done..??? Not again the chemical that evades and eludes was working…and she knew it…


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LoungeMachine
04-17-2010, 05:08 PM
So was I tricked( not rite word) by a professional bartender who makes us feel special and that is their job the casual flirt that makes patrons want to come back.?



Yeah, ummm... duh

:gulp:

Oldest con in the book, and everyone falls for it.

We call it "throwing yourself on a grenade" when we flirt with patrons we normallly wouldn't consider in a million years....

PETE'S BROTHER
04-17-2010, 05:12 PM
think strippers use the same term?:biggrin:

thome
04-17-2010, 05:32 PM
Yeah, ummm... duh

:gulp:

Oldest con in the book, and everyone falls for it.

We call it "throwing yourself on a grenade" when we flirt with patrons we normallly wouldn't consider in a million years....
Thanks for the advic.............................HEY!!
HEY!! I ain't exactly chopped liver.....close...

Is he helping me out or is this a, well played sir.... well played............................ slam..?

PETE'S BROTHER
04-17-2010, 06:16 PM
I'm amazed that your tab was only $12 for 5 beers and 2 other beverages!

nickel tap nite with a couple shots a whisky?

Blackflag
04-17-2010, 06:38 PM
Thanks for the advic.............................HEY!!
HEY!! I ain't exactly chopped liver.....close...

Is he helping me out or is this a, well played sir.... well played............................ slam..?

Dude, he's just pissed because you're honest, and he's never been honest in his life - least of all to himself.

He's a hater, and you're keeping it real.

(But, like Chan, I don't know how you get these cheap beverages.)

LoungeMachine
04-17-2010, 06:57 PM
Dude, he's just pissed because you're honest, and he's never been honest in his life - least of all to himself.

He's a hater, and you're keeping it real.

(But, like Chan, I don't know how you get these cheap beverages.)

:lmao:

Translation: Buckfag falls for it everytime too....

:lmao:

Bet you think those waitresses are flirting with you too hoping you'll slip them your number :D

Love it.

awesome.

:gulp:

LoungeMachine
04-17-2010, 07:01 PM
And no way is anyone getting 5 beers and 2 other drinks for $12, even during happy hour.

And if you think a $7 tip on 7 servings over an hour and a half is a "great tip", then you really dont understand the business.

Prove me wrong. MAN UP and go ask her for her phone number.

:gulp:

Beter than asking for dating advice here

:gulp:

Buckfag hasnt been laid since 1998

thome
04-17-2010, 07:13 PM
You M'Sunza bitches gonna make me do Math!!
I posted this thread at 6am.

Beers are 3$ for bottle or can domestics, I had 3.
Well $2.75
Premium Liquor(1) shot o Jack 3$ and they give you the long pour. W/ my first beer.
Super Premiums are only $4.50 Grey Goose..etc...

Kansas city has some joints that the normal price for a domestic is 6 $ and I am only talking a upper middle class demographic sports bar...



I am a ass w/ my money and allways give a dollar per beer. I pay as I go and then throw something else on the bar if I had good service.

It is impossible to pad a tab that doesn't exist. It's not my first rodeo.

I consider any service good service, even if it would be considered bad service by another.

I have beena drunken alky for many a moon.
If I see my bar going to the mechanical measure I will find a new country to live in.

I don't believe the bartender should rob the owner, but the way owners are coming down on the long pour, "every now and then" is a abomination to the greatness that is AMERICA!

As for the prices I described I drink on the wrong side of town at mom and pop joints that even throw out some grub for free on the weekends.

To The Point:

I am usually misstaken and not so easily swayed, at the imagination of a intensly perpetuated flirtation by a stripper or bartender(I look like Tuco from the good the bad and the ugly, had a baby with Dr. Phibes) so I have learned to not take them seroiusly...but this gal looked at me and held my hand and scared the sh!tout of my permanent and I mean it this time!! bachelor status!! cause I Am A Sexy Man!!


Oh Yeah I am a sexy man!!

When I wrote 3-5 bozzes I meant I had 3 to five drinks, but it was 4..in exacto land.

thome
04-17-2010, 07:23 PM
And no way is anyone getting 5 beers and 2 other drinks for $12, even during happy hour.

And if you think a $7 tip on 7 servings over an hour and a half is a "great tip", then you really dont understand the business.

Prove me wrong. MAN UP and go ask her for her phone number.

:gulp:

Beter than asking for dating advice here

:gulp:

Buckfag hasnt been laid since 1998

Dude! I don't want any phone #'s I am going to be that guy that all the neighbors talk about ...*wispering* the permanent bachelor that lives in the trailor at the farside of the court.

I have a long history of many failed relationships and there must be something wrong with the women I have dated.....*ok * {here is the tricky part you see the problem with the failure is I am blaming it all on the women, but the common denominator in the equation of these failed relationships, is me, but I don't want you all to know that I know that, so I am writing this in secret I am a dummy no make big good smert invisible lingo.}

I am just too Sexy .

Chicks Dig Me.

Sensible Shoes
04-17-2010, 07:53 PM
Uh huh. Photos.

thome
04-17-2010, 08:04 PM
Uh huh. Photos.

I have no reflection and cannot be captured by mechanical imaging devices...No Pics..Lets jam

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Blackflag
04-17-2010, 08:17 PM
:lmao:

Translation: Buckfag falls for it everytime too....

:lmao:

Bet you think those waitresses are flirting with you too hoping you'll slip them your number :D

Love it.

awesome.

:gulp:

I almost never tip. Much to your chagrin, bartender.

So that's how hard up I am for attention.

LoungeMachine
04-17-2010, 08:38 PM
I almost never tip. Much to your chagrin, bartender.

.

I believe it.


As for thome, if this chick was really into you, she'd "buyback" a round for you.

:gulp:

Grow a set and ask her out, or STFU about it already.

thome
04-17-2010, 08:53 PM
I believe it.


As for thome, if this chick was really into you, she'd "buyback" a round for you.

:gulp:

Grow a set and ask her out, or STFU about it already.

One night with me and I would have to go with her and start picking out new plates and I would miss by cool whip bowl set, that took me years to aquire..?

I can see it now just like the last supermodle hottie that tasted the thome life..."But darling why should I want a door on my microwave the screwdriver jammed into the swich lever works fine."

DO YOU SEE LOUNGE !!! ...she is all up on me to like be all better and stuff.

I don't want new curtains, lovely and sweet curtains...!

I am just a Sexy Man.

It's a curse.

Sensible Shoes
04-17-2010, 09:48 PM
Lithographs then.

thome
04-17-2010, 10:10 PM
Lithographs then.

http://www.rotharmy.com/forums/showthread.php?54542-Tingle-Tingle-Tat.-Thome-strangled-his-cat.&highlight=

Sensible Shoes
04-18-2010, 07:54 AM
It was not nice of NickdFresh to caption you a "retard".

Northern Girl
04-18-2010, 08:51 AM
Well, I'm not going to assume if a bartender flirts with me that he's looking for tips. Nonsense! He's looking for nooky! :biggrin: