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chefcraig
06-15-2010, 09:09 AM
6-story Jesus statue in Ohio struck by lightning

http://img812.imageshack.us/img812/3130/tdj.jpg (http://img812.imageshack.us/i/tdj.jpg/)


MONROE, Ohio – A six-story-tall statue of Jesus Christ with his arms raised along a highway was struck by lightning in a thunderstorm Monday night and burned to the ground, police said.

The "King of Kings" statue, one of southwest Ohio's most familiar landmarks, had stood since 2004 at the evangelical Solid Rock Church along Interstate 75 in Monroe, just north of Cincinnati.

The lightning strike set the statue ablaze around 11:15 p.m., Monroe police dispatchers said.

The sculpture, 62 feet tall and 40 feet wide at the base, showed Jesus from the torso up and was nicknamed Touchdown Jesus because of the way the arms were raised, similar to a referee signaling a touchdown. It was made of plastic foam and fiberglass over a steel frame, which is all that remained early Tuesday.

The fire spread from the statue to an adjacent amphitheater but was confined to the attic area, and no one was injured, police Chief Mark Neu said. The fire department would release a monetary damage estimate Tuesday, he said.

Travelers on Interstate 75 often were startled to come upon the huge statue by the roadside, but many said America needs more symbols like it. So many people stopped at the church campus that church officials had to build a walkway to accommodate them.

The 4,000-member, nondenominational church was founded by former horse trader Lawrence Bishop and his wife. Bishop said in 2004 he was trying to help people, not impress them, with the statue. He said his wife proposed the Jesus figure as a beacon of hope and salvation and they spent about $250,000 to finance it.

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/us_lightning_strikes_jesus_statue

Seshmeister
06-15-2010, 09:19 AM
:lmao:

Seshmeister
06-15-2010, 09:23 AM
The Flying Spaghetti Monster is a jealous god...

Hardrock69
06-15-2010, 09:59 AM
Guess God thinks the Jesus story is a load of rubbish, lol! :hee:

ELVIS
06-15-2010, 10:07 AM
“You shall not make for yourself an idol in the form of anything in heaven above or on the earth beneath or in the waters below. You shall not bow down to them or worship them; for I, the LORD your God, am a jealous God, punishing the children for the sin of the fathers to the third and fourth generation of those who hate me, but showing love to a thousand generations of those who love me and keep my commandments.” This command is against making an idol, a visible representation of God. There is no image we can create that can accurately portray God. To make an idol to represent God is to worship a false god.


:elvis:

Nickdfresh
06-15-2010, 10:14 AM
God doesn't approve of excessive end-zone celebrations...

Seshmeister
06-15-2010, 10:33 AM
http://www.molleindustria.org/faith-fighter

The turn the other cheek move is deadly!

Nickdfresh
06-15-2010, 10:44 AM
LMFAO!! I can't get the special attacks to work, but Jesus is almost as fierce as Chuck Norris!

Seshmeister
06-15-2010, 10:52 AM
It tells you how to do them at the start of each bout.

Seshmeister
06-15-2010, 10:52 AM
“You shall not make for yourself an idol in the form of anything in heaven above or on the earth beneath or in the waters below. You shall not bow down to them or worship them; for I, the LORD your God, am a jealous God, punishing the children for the sin of the fathers to the third and fourth generation of those who hate me, but showing love to a thousand generations of those who love me and keep my commandments.” This command is against making an idol, a visible representation of God. There is no image we can create that can accurately portray God. To make an idol to represent God is to worship a false god.


:elvis:

So we can see by the preponderance of evidence that it is beyond a
shadow of a doubt that the Great Flying Spaghetti Monster created
everything in the world and has influenced Evolution throughout all of
history. It has been shown that His Noodly Appendage has touched
every continent and every civilization around the globe. This evidence
has been carefully cataloged by the scribes assigned to the great Pirate
sailing vessels as they journey around the world gathering archaeological
evidence of the Great One. The only continent they avoid is Antarctica,
and that is because they know not to go there; Shackleton brought
back records of what the ungrateful penguins tried to do to him and
his crew when they were stranded there. This evidence spans the globe,
made manifest in the chow mein noodles of China, the aspen noodles
of Nebraska, the flying kangaroos of Australia, and the great megaghetti
boats of the ancient Phoenicians. This should settle all debates
over the influence of the Flying Spaghetti Monster.

Gospel of the FSM p.175

ELVIS
06-15-2010, 11:02 AM
http://www.boegerweb.com/files/images/flying-spaghetti-monster.jpg


:biggrin:

Seshmeister
06-15-2010, 11:41 AM
I'm going to get that on a t-shirt. :)

ELVIS
06-15-2010, 11:43 AM
That would be a funny shirt...

twonabomber
06-15-2010, 12:32 PM
America needs more symbols like it.

more tacky pieces of shit clogging up the scenery?

BITEYOASS
06-15-2010, 12:42 PM
I guess Zeus was pissed! Because he got tired of the christian hypocrisy when it came to sports. Weren't they the same religion that banned the ancient olympics and gladiator matches? And then 1 and 1/2 millenium later, they started to accept sports.

Anonymous
06-15-2010, 12:55 PM
http://www.molleindustria.org/faith-fighter

The turn the other cheek move is deadly!

I chose God just because it was the first that appeared. The Pillar of Fire is one hell of a move - and the lightning can be really deadly too, if you catch the other deity real up close.

Xenu was a disappointment, though... since he was the mysterious boss, I figured he'd be quite hard, but no... I beat him with two perfects. Only lost to Jesus, lol. Jesus lol. He.

Cheers! :bottle:

Hardrock69
06-15-2010, 02:18 PM
Flying Spaghetti Monster... :lmao:

hideyoursheep
06-17-2010, 06:04 AM
Will you guys STOP taking pictures of the frame? You're holding up traffic FFS!!


And no, Jim Caviezel was not inside....

hideyoursheep
06-17-2010, 06:07 AM
BTW... they've already received over 2 million bucks in "donations" to rebuild that styrofoam bird toilet.

Seshmeister
06-17-2010, 07:14 AM
It costs $20 to give a kid in Africa clean drinking water for 15 years.

Clean water for 100 000 kids or a stupid fucking statue explicitly forbidden in their superstition handbook.

I wonder which they will go for...

Hardrock69
06-17-2010, 09:29 AM
Hey, they have to have SOMETHING to worship! :hee:

ELVIS
06-17-2010, 09:33 AM
People are the stupidest people...

Nitro Express
06-19-2010, 09:45 PM
“You shall not make for yourself an idol in the form of anything in heaven above or on the earth beneath or in the waters below. You shall not bow down to them or worship them; for I, the LORD your God, am a jealous God, punishing the children for the sin of the fathers to the third and fourth generation of those who hate me, but showing love to a thousand generations of those who love me and keep my commandments.” This command is against making an idol, a visible representation of God. There is no image we can create that can accurately portray God. To make an idol to represent God is to worship a false god.


:elvis:

Yeah but Jesus is not God. He's the son of God. I think the statue was destroyed because Jesus never refereed Amercan football games.

Nitro Express
06-19-2010, 09:51 PM
I was raised Mormon so you had Elohiem the father and his huge numberless harem of celestial goddess wives. Elohiem would have sex with his wives and make spiritual children and then earthly parents would fuck and make physical bodies for Elohiem's spirit children to enter and have a worldly life to learn and grow in. Jesus was different. Elohiem came down and fucked Mary, knocked her up and Jesus was the result. In other words, the Mormon God was fucking constantly and fucking everyone he could. Jesus had super powers because he was a direct product of a direct God fuck instead of having a mere mortal father. So I guess you spiritual stature all depends on who fucked your mom.

Nitro Express
06-19-2010, 09:54 PM
It costs $20 to give a kid in Africa clean drinking water for 15 years.

Clean water for 100 000 kids or a stupid fucking statue explicitly forbidden in their superstition handbook.

I wonder which they will go for...

Shit. I moving to Africa. You know what my well costs a year? I can't even get a plumber to snake out a pipe for under $50. I won't even go into what irrigation water costs these days. Africa seems like a bargain.

Nitro Express
06-19-2010, 09:55 PM
Hey, they have to have SOMETHING to worship! :hee:

Worship is not a bad thing. Don't we all want women to worship our cocks?

sadaist
06-20-2010, 03:30 AM
“You shall not make for yourself an idol in the form of anything in heaven above or on the earth beneath or in the waters below. You shall not bow down to them or worship them; for I, the LORD your God, am a jealous God, punishing the children for the sin of the fathers to the third and fourth generation of those who hate me, but showing love to a thousand generations of those who love me and keep my commandments.” This command is against making an idol, a visible representation of God. There is no image we can create that can accurately portray God. To make an idol to represent God is to worship a false god.


:elvis:


E, how do the churches explain this one then? All the pictures of Jesus in stained glass, on a crucifix, on just about any church publications, etc... I wear a small cross on a chain around my neck, and also have a cross on the wall in my house. But neither have the image of Jesus hanging on it. Just simply the cross. I never really liked the ones that depicted him hanging there. But there are pictures, images, everything of Jesus everywhere. Even the Michelangelo paintings at the Sistine Chapel depict God himself.

How is any of this ok?

sadaist
06-20-2010, 03:33 AM
Meanwhile, organizers of the annual Burning Man festival are preparing to sue.

The real shame here with this lightning strike was that there wasn't a Phish concert beforehand.

Nitro Express
06-20-2010, 04:14 AM
E, how do the churches explain this one then? All the pictures of Jesus in stained glass, on a crucifix, on just about any church publications, etc... I wear a small cross on a chain around my neck, and also have a cross on the wall in my house. But neither have the image of Jesus hanging on it. Just simply the cross. I never really liked the ones that depicted him hanging there. But there are pictures, images, everything of Jesus everywhere. Even the Michelangelo paintings at the Sistine Chapel depict God himself.

How is any of this ok?

That's the Catholics. Pagan's who adopted Christ for PR purposes. Paintings, statues, crucifixs, beads, medallions are all important, someone makes a lot of money selling those things.

The Mormons have a better racket. Build lot's of temples with a gold trumpet player named Moroni on top. Don't allow anyone in who doesn't purchase church approved underwear and pay 10% of their gross income to the church. Make anyone who doesn't qualify a third citizen in the church. Also, exclude family members from weddings who don't have the magic temple entrance card. Now that's a racket.

Seshmeister
06-20-2010, 04:59 AM
Yeah but Jesus is not God. He's the son of God. I think the statue was destroyed because Jesus never refereed Amercan football games.

According to the superstition Jesus is god and a ghost too.

That bit is so fucking stupid and ludicrous that they don't usually even attempt to preach it to the dumb congregations.

It's also where the phrase 'Why don't you go fuck yourself?' comes from originally. :)

BITEYOASS
06-20-2010, 09:19 AM
Well here's Zeus answering to the questions surrounding this incident:

<object width="640" height="385"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/XbpG6xqaOF4&hl=en_US&fs=1&"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/XbpG6xqaOF4&hl=en_US&fs=1&" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="640" height="385"></embed></object>

Blaze
06-20-2010, 01:38 PM
That clip was funny.

Sesh, the Holy Ghost is what you are talking about, it is the combined "energies" of the "church"
Lay a side for a moment old words concept and an lack of ability to describe an unique concept without wonderment and awe.

At this point in time, the human's ability to measure and understand the "holy spirit" is incredibly limited, when it is time the knowledge will come.
There was a time when certain natural science was beyond the human eye, the same goes for "spooky electricity" as I like to call it.

There are certain things that are unexplainable at this time in human history, it is a known fact that "the power of prayer" is useful in a medical setting. Though if this "prayer" is the same as a dedicated soul giving concentration at the bedside or giving concentration to a focal object (Christ) that is directed to the sick subject is unknown. This "energetic nurturing" has shown to give endurance to those that are battling life force issues.

The "holy spirit" is a very big concept, which I explained in a very limited function. Had I told you 70 years ago magnets could look inside your body, it would have been true and false, at that time magnets could not, simply because we did not have the technological abilities to use that particular "force".

BTW, guys Elvis is not going to defend the touch-down Jesus. He knows that idolization is a sin. And this is one instance that is easy for him to deflect the sin. It is not always easy for Elvis to deflect the sin of Idolization.

Blaze
06-20-2010, 01:45 PM
<object width="445" height="364"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/FMeQRK68Z8M&hl=en_US&fs=1&color1=0x2b405b&color2=0x6b8ab6&border=1"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/FMeQRK68Z8M&hl=en_US&fs=1&color1=0x2b405b&color2=0x6b8ab6&border=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="445" height="364"></embed></object>

Seshmeister
06-20-2010, 04:06 PM
That clip was funny.

Sesh, the Holy Ghost is what you are talking about, it is the combined "energies" of the "church"
Lay a side for a moment old words concept and an lack of ability to describe an unique concept without wonderment and awe.

At this point in time, the human's ability to measure and understand the "holy spirit" is incredibly limited, when it is time the knowledge will come.
There was a time when certain natural science was beyond the human eye, the same goes for "spooky electricity" as I like to call it.

There are certain things that are unexplainable at this time in human history, it is a known fact that "the power of prayer" is useful in a medical setting. Though if this "prayer" is the same as a dedicated soul giving concentration at the bedside or giving concentration to a focal object (Christ) that is directed to the sick subject is unknown. This "energetic nurturing" has shown to give endurance to those that are battling life force issues.

The "holy spirit" is a very big concept, which I explained in a very limited function. Had I told you 70 years ago magnets could look inside your body, it would have been true and false, at that time magnets could not, simply because we did not have the technological abilities to use that particular "force".

BTW, guys Elvis is not going to defend the touch-down Jesus. He knows that idolization is a sin. And this is one instance that is easy for him to deflect the sin. It is not always easy for Elvis to deflect the sin of Idolization.

There is a really reliable rule that if you hear someone start to talk about "energies" then a big pile of stinky BS is coming. :)

The power of prayer is absolutely not useful in a medical setting because it has no power.

http://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/40765.php

http://www.nytimes.com/2006/03/31/health/31pray.html?ex=1301461200&en=4acf338be4900000&ei=5088&partner=rssnyt&emc=rss

VanHalener
06-20-2010, 06:42 PM
God doesn't approve of excessive end-zone celebrations...

Exactly! That's why they should have had him in the pose the ref strikes when you score in Aussie Rules Football. Wish I had a picture.

Blaze
06-20-2010, 11:08 PM
There is a really reliable rule that if you hear someone start to talk about "energies" then a big pile of stinky BS is coming. :)

The power of prayer is absolutely not useful in a medical setting because it has no power.

http://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/40765.php

http://www.nytimes.com/2006/03/31/health/31pray.html?ex=1301461200&en=4acf338be4900000&ei=5088&partner=rssnyt&emc=rss
That is one study and inconclusive. There is not a reliable way in one study to show yea, or nay because there is not a way to measure or (at this point) qualify or quantify "prayer".
I could dissect that study apart. The fact is we are not able to measure the dynamic influence of one human's life force on another, nor are we able to measure this in animals, either. Animals do exhibit behavior patterns of nurture when another in a group is passing.

It should be noted, though, until the science can quantify and identify the the exact be it magnetic, electrical, or organic (it could be pheromones) which cause a human to respond positively to another "thing" it is no more able to be studied than electric-magnetic forces during the ice age.

It simply is not within our knowledge. There may on occasion a human that chances upon the right (x) the same way as "magicians" used natural magnets thousands of years ago. It is not and may never be useful enough to prevent invasive medical treatments. However, it is nice in todays world that magnets can provide information (with the right amplification) where "exploratory surgery" is not as necessary.

I said prior to my discourse to use your own words. I choose certain words due to the familiar status within a human concept.
At one point in time, microbiological would have been heresy and legal means to brand witch.

We do not know all, ESPECIALLY concerning what exactly occurs that causes life to begin or end. There is no logical reason why when the elertical impulses stop that existence ( known and unknown) stops. Moreover, as a carbon, we may never fully know.



Intercessory prayer has been the subject of scientific study since at least the nineteenth century, when an English scientist, assuming that kings were prayed for more often than others, sought to find out whether those prayers were answered. He concluded that they were not, but that prayer might be a comfort to the people praying anyway.
After talking with physicians who wondered about the power of prayer to heal patients, Brandeis sociologist Wendy Cadge, an expert on the intersection of religion and medicine in contemporary American society, set out to research medical studies of intercessory prayer going back to 1965, the first year such studies were published in the English language medical literature.
"This analysis in the Journal of Religion is the first to trace the social history of intercessory prayer studies and to situate them in their medical and religious contexts," said Cadge, who this year is the Suzanne Young Murray Fellow at the Radcliffe Institute for Advanced Study at Harvard University. While there she is working on her forthcoming book, Paging God: Religion in the Halls of Medicine.
Cadge evaluated eighteen published studies on intercessory prayer that were conducted between 1965 and 2006. Collectively, the studies provide a fascinating snapshot of changing American religious demographics, evolving ideas about the relationship between religion and medical science, and the development of the clinical trial as the gold standard of biomedical research, said Cadge.
"I do not know why physicians and scientists conducted these studies," said Cadge, "but personal religious beliefs appear to have played a role, along with curiosity."
The earliest studies undertaken in the sixties were based exclusively on Protestant prayers, while more recent studies, reflecting growing social awareness of other religions, combine Christian, Jewish, Buddhist and other prayers, Cadge discovered. Some studies suggested that prayer worked, while others said it didn't.
The researchers leading the studies applied clinical scientific methodologies to the study of intercessory prayer, but Cadge found that even that approach was fraught with problems. For example, researchers asked whether the people not being prayed for by the intercessors were truly a control group, since their family members were probably praying for them. Researchers also asked what the right "dosage" of prayer would be, how prayers should be offered, and what to do about non-Christian intercessors.
"With double blind clinical trials, scientists tried their best to study something that may be beyond their best tools," said Cadge, "and reflects more about them and their assumptions than about whether prayer 'works.'"
Reflecting a recent shift toward delegitimizing studies of intercessory prayer, recent commentators in the medical literature concluded: "We do not need science to validate our spiritual beliefs, as we would never use faith to validate our scientific data."
http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2009/06/090617154401.htm

Diamondjimi
06-20-2010, 11:44 PM
http://d.yimg.com/a/p/ap/20100615/capt.d1d33865e14d42b8b5fb0de9a60b4d93-b8bd107213aa4e03a8cbb7d90584d889-0.jpg?x=400&y=277&q=85&sig=WOuT5EnXhzKgVrzusDupxA--

Dr. Love
06-21-2010, 12:04 AM
http://www.boegerweb.com/files/images/flying-spaghetti-monster.jpg


:biggrin:

I have this framed and hung on the wall in my house. I am a proud Pastafarian.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Flying_Spaghetti_Monster

Beliefs

Henderson proposed many Pastafarian tenets in reaction to common arguments by proponents of intelligent design.[26] These "canonical beliefs" are presented by Henderson in his letter to the Kansas State Board of Education,[7] the Gospel of the Flying Spaghetti Monster, and on Henderson's web site, where he is described as a prophet.[27] They tend to satirize creationism.[2]
“ With millions, if not thousands, of devout worshippers, the Church of the FSM is widely considered a legitimate religion, even by its opponents—mostly fundamentalist Christians, who have accepted that our God has larger balls than theirs. ”

—Bobby Henderson, "prophet of the Flying Spaghetti Monster"[10]

The central belief is that an invisible and undetectable Flying Spaghetti Monster created the universe "after drinking heavily". According to these beliefs, the Monster's intoxication was the cause for a flawed Earth. Furthermore, according to Pastafarianism, all "evidence" for evolution was planted by the Flying Spaghetti Monster in an effort to test Pastafarians' faith—parodying certain biblical literalists.[28] When scientific measurements such as radiocarbon dating are taken, the Flying Spaghetti Monster "is there changing the results with His Noodly Appendage".[7] The Pastafarian belief of Heaven contains a beer volcano and a stripper factory.[27] The Pastafarian Hell is similar, except that the beer is stale and the strippers have sexually transmitted diseases.[29]

Pastafarians' beliefs extend into religious ceremony. Pastafarians celebrate every Friday as a holy day.[2] Prayers are concluded with a final declaration of affirmation, "R'amen"; the term is a parodic portmanteau of the Semitic term "Amen" and the Japanese noodle dish, ramen.[11]
[edit] Pirates and global warming
A chart, included in the open letter, illustrating the relationship between pirates and global temperature

According to Pastafarian beliefs, pirates are "absolute divine beings" and the original Pastafarians.[7] Furthermore, Pastafarians believe that pirates' image as "thieves and outcasts" is misinformation spread by Christian theologians in the Middle Ages and by Hare Krishnas. Instead, Pastafarians believe that they were "peace-loving explorers and spreaders of good will" who distributed candy to small children, adding that modern pirates are in no way similar to "the fun-loving buccaneers from history". In addition, Pastafarians believe that ghost pirates are responsible for all of the mysterious lost ships and planes of the Bermuda Triangle. Pastafarians celebrate International Talk Like a Pirate Day on September 19.[30]

The inclusion of pirates in Pastafarianism was part of Henderson's original letter to the Kansas State Board of Education, in an effort to illustrate that correlation does not imply causation.[31] Henderson presented the argument that "global warming, earthquakes, hurricanes, and other natural disasters are a direct effect of the shrinking numbers of pirates since the 1800s."[7] A chart accompanying the letter (with numbers humorously disordered on the x-axis) shows that as the number of pirates decreased, global temperatures increased. This parodies the suggestion from some religious groups that the high numbers of disasters, famines and wars in the world is due to the lack of respect and worship towards their deity. In 2008, Henderson interpreted the growing pirate activities at the Gulf of Aden as additional support, pointing out that Somalia has "the highest number of Pirates AND the lowest Carbon emissions of any country".[32]
[edit] Holiday

Around the time of Christmas, Hanukkah, and Kwanzaa, Pastafarians celebrate a vaguely-defined holiday named "Holiday". Holiday does not take place on "a specific date so much as it is the Holiday season, itself". Because Pastafarians "reject dogma and formalism", there are no specific requirements for Holiday. Pastafarians are instructed to celebrate Holiday however they please.[33]

Pastafarians interpret the increasing usage of "Happy Holidays", rather than more traditional greetings (such as "Merry Christmas"), as support for Pastafarianism.[33] In December 2005, George W. Bush's White House Christmas greeting cards wished people a happy "holiday season",[34] leading Henderson to write the President a note of thanks, including a "fish" emblem depicting the Flying Spaghetti Monster for his limo or plane.[35] Henderson also thanked Wal-Mart for its use of the phrase.[36]

Dr. Love
06-21-2010, 12:08 AM
I am the Flying Spaghetti Monster. Thou shalt have no other monsters before Me. (Afterwards is OK; just use protection.) The only Monster who deserves capitalization is Me! Other monsters are false monsters, undeserving of capitalization.

Suggestions 1:1



1 Your most humble servant, that I

2 Might become a waiter on high

3 Serving your immutable word

4 To diners.


5 I wear white today, that I

6 Might be graced by the slight magenta hues

7 Of pureed tomato, with basil, and garlic

8 As between bites I spill your blessed sauceliness

9 Upon my blouse.


10 Another helping, please, that I

11 Might munch gratefully

12 In abject reverence

13 For two eternities.

Pastalm 17




"Since you have done a half-ass job, you will receive half an ass!" The Great Pirate Solomon grabbed his ceremonial scimitar and struck his remaining donkey, cleaving it in two.

Slackers 1:51–52

:biggrin:

Blaze
06-21-2010, 12:12 AM
Tell me more of what the monster thinks of the
http://wwp.greenwichmeantime.com/time-zone/antarctica/antarctica.jpg
As this interest me in the monster's foreboding.
:fourthofjuly2:

Dr. Love
06-21-2010, 12:14 AM
The book also provides a Pastafarian "Guide to the Holidays."[17] Furthermore, Henderson discusses the original Pastafarian "belief" that the decline in the number of pirates, who are revered by Pastafarians, has directly led to a rise in global temperature. He provides further "evidence" of this relationship with the observation "that many people dress up as pirates for Halloween, and the months following October 31 are generally cooler than those that precede it."[12]

The Gospel begins with the creation of the universe by an invisible and undetectable Flying Spaghetti Monster.[12] On the first day, the Flying Spaghetti Monster separated the water from the heavens; on the second, because He could not tread water for long and had grown tired of flying, He created the land—complemented by a beer volcano.[18] Satisfied, the Flying Spaghetti Monster overindulged in beer from the beer volcano and woke up hungover.[22] Between drunken nights and clumsy afternoons, the Flying Spaghetti Monster produced seas and land (for a second time, accidentally, because he forgot that he created it the day before) along with Heaven and a midget, which he named Man.[23] Man and an equally short woman lived happily in the Olive Garden of Eden for some time until the Flying Spaghetti Monster caused a global flood in a cooking accident.[18]

I have tears in my eyes from laughing so hard...

Blaze
06-21-2010, 12:19 AM
http://wwp.greenwichmeantime.com/time-zone/antarctica/antarctica.jpg

Blaze
06-21-2010, 12:20 AM
Quit the dance. State the the monster's position.