FPI Exclusive: Ally_Kat betrothed, eventually

[Funkmonkey]

Funkmonkey P.I., Marmoset Sleuth, here with the latest scoop. Recently the Funkmonkey Private Investigation (FPI) firm Surveillance Department recently spotted a one Ally_Kat skipping past the site of the former World Trade Center twin towers without so much a word of defiance or upward thrust middle finger toward neither the former remains of the Afghanistan capital Kandahar, nor the Port Authority of New York offices that even considered approval of the alleged Trees of Doom and Train Station of Despair memorials to be built upon said smoking hole in the ground. In joyful rapture, Miss Kat was instead observed strolling joyfully singing, “…all my flavors are guaranteed to satisfy!” as she made her way North on Church Street.

This suspect appeared to FPI personnel to be exhibiting unusual and distracted behavior. Further investigation was authorized. Upon closer examination, Miss Kat was sighted wearing a one-each Promise Ring.

[Funkmonkey]

Yes, that’s right; the FPI has discovered that the blissful Ally_Kat has been promised to be promised to be married. The young scintillating 20 year old, (who’s wit, charm, and grace has even caused the small yet virile HitchCOCK™ to this day still ache to be the first inside her) has been promised an engagement ring in one year’s time.

[Funkmonkey]

At a recent stake-out, Miss Kat was spotted last week arriving at a quiet neighborhood to meet her future In-Laws. Closer surveillance has uncovered descriptions by Miss Kat of her future husband to include: “adorable”, “huggable”, and the ubiquitous “so beautiful” characterization. Further surveillance techniques have recorded her admitting that ”…[he] puts me first all the time”.

[Funkmonkey]

So who is this bold Mystery Man who has pronounced his Pre-Engagement-I'm-Really-Gonna-Ask-Ya-Soon-It-Won't-Be-Long-Before-I-Really-Really-Propose-To-Ya promise to be engaged prior to engagement commitment to said Miss Kat?

The bidding starts at 50lbs of premium grade bananas.

[Funkmonkey]

Originally posted by Funkmonkey

The bidding starts at 50lbs of premium grade bananas.

...and the opportunity to watch Switchy-baby eat one of them.

[lionsfan]

Congrats, Ally_Kat! :D

[flappo]

..cor blimey !

..come on , let's see your ring !!!

[Ally_Kat]

my father messed up the computer, so the scanner isn't scanning images. I'm still trying to figure out what he did to it. Until then, I have this picture. My stone is pink though.


I promise i'll scan one of me wearing it when I get this stupid scanner working again.

[Igosplut]

Grats Ally, good for you....

[SoCalChelle]

Congrats, Ally! But screw the ring, let's see a picture of the GUY! :D

[Katydid]

Gosh Alley Cat, I just posted yesterday that myself and a few others were looking for good looking single rich guys from 40-90.

I'd just settle for a promising e mail.

Congrats on the promise ring.

[Junyore Grades]

Originally posted by Funkmonkey
So who is this bold Mystery Man who has pronounced his Pre-Engagement-I'm-Really-Gonna-Ask-Ya-Soon-It-Won't-Be-Long-Before-I-Really-Really-Propose-To-Ya promise to be engaged prior to engagement commitment to said Miss Kat?

The bidding starts at 50lbs of premium grade bananas.

*raises Dole logo*

[Bonzo]

Originally posted by Funkmonkey
So who is this bold Mystery Man who has pronounced his Pre-Engagement-I'm-Really-Gonna-Ask-Ya-Soon-It-Won't-Be-Long-Before-I-Really-Really-Propose-To-Ya promise to be engaged prior to engagement commitment to said Miss Kat?

The bidding starts at 50lbs of premium grade bananas.

*raises Chiquita logo*

[Bonzo]

Originally posted by Funkmonkey
So who is this bold Mystery Man who has pronounced his Pre-Engagement-I'm-Really-Gonna-Ask-Ya-Soon-It-Won't-Be-Long-Before-I-Really-Really-Propose-To-Ya promise to be engaged prior to engagement commitment to said Miss Kat?

The bidding starts at 50lbs of premium grade bananas.

*raises Chiquita logo*

[Funkmonkey]

I see the current bid is up to 150lbs of premium bananas.

Oh yes! Oh yes!


eek! eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeek!




I"ll give you all a little morsel to chew on:

The FPI has learned that this bold Mystery Man posts on the Roth Army site.







Oh, where is Switchy-baby when you need her!! eeeeeeeeeeeeeeek!

[Funkmonkey]

The FPI has also learned that a one, bold Mystery Man has exhibited fixation for being amorously bitten on the lower lip.

[Susie Q]

Oooooo I love a good mystery. :) Congrats Ally, and hears hoping you get all what you wish for.

[Ally_Kat]

tehehe...it's right before your eyes, guys ;)

[lms2]

Congrats and all the happines in the world. Did you meet on this site? Was it love at first post? Did you guys just start arguing so much you decided you might as well be married? Okay, 200 lbs lf premium banannas!

[Ally_Kat]

Yeah, we met here before the untimely demise of this beloved forum. Then we began chatting a lot on Vonnie's site back when we were hanging out there. This site came back up, and we just got closer to this point.

Nawh, we don't argue at all. I honestly don't think I could be mad at him for too long. He's a real doll.

[lms2]

I dont get mad at people I like to argue with, its all fun..., anyway, :) enjoy.

[Funkmonkey]

The bidding is now up to 200lbs of premium grade bananas!

eek! eeeeek! eeeeeeeeeeek!



Here's another nugget before the truth is revealed about this Mystery Man who has promised his promise of eternal devotion to our very own Ally_Kat:

The number 2 does not appear in his current age.

[Mr Grimsdale]

hitch, jesterstar and now funkmonkey

somebody put that rock back!

[Funkmonkey]

Originally posted by Mr Grimsdale
hitch, jesterstar and now funkmonkey

somebody put that rock back!

Ah, but the Mystery Man is neither Hitch, Jesterstar, Funkmonkey, nor...

Mr. Grimsdale.


Shamone! Heh Hehhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

[Funkmonkey]

But don't touch that rock!


...you just don't know where that rock has been!






eek! eeeeeeek! eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeek!

[Junyore Grades]

Congrats Ally_kat!! May you and your man walk hand in hand on the pier at Coney Island. May you look deaply into each others eyes, wind blowing through your hair, pulse beating rapidly, knowing that forever is owned by you... or maybe go to the movies or something.

[Funkmonkey]

Ok, enough with the monkey business. I'll tell you who this Mystery Man is.



Ally's fiancé is FLAPPO.




Ok? There I said it.

[Funkmonkey]

Flappy pulled off the world's most impossible maneuver:


He successfully cock blocked Hitch.

[Junyore Grades]

Damn! I was just going to guess Flappo.

[lionsfan]

Maybe it's drunk lionsfan...:uck:

[Funkmonkey]

Originally posted by Funkmonkey
Flappy pulled off the world's most impossible maneuver:


He successfully cock blocked Hitch.


This could be anti-climactic, given all the build up, but the FPI always comes through.


The scintillating and nubile Ally_Kat has been promised to eventually be promised potential engagement to a one Junyore Grades. These two love birds (cats?) potentially could eventually be seen at a chapel near you. Check your local station for show times.


So where's a perfect place for the proposal?

[lionsfan]

Originally posted by Funkmonkey
The scintillating and nubile Ally_Kat has been promised to eventually be promised potential engagement to a one Junyore Grades. These two love birds (cats?) potentially could eventually be seen at a chapel near you. Check your local station for show times.

I better go grab the rabbit ears for this one...:D

[Ally_Kat]

Originally posted by Funkmonkey
Ally_Kat has been promised to eventually be promised potential engagement

you make it sound like it'l lbe an eternitybefore this happens.

Shit, I'm already scoping out dresses.

[Funkmonkey]

Originally posted by Ally_Kat

Shit, I'm already scoping out dresses.


Wedding dress, or dress for the proposal?

[Ally_Kat]

wedding dresses. A girl's got to plan. You know how expensive these affairs in nyc are?

[Coyote]

I don't have a fucking clue, but i can guess... :eek:

[Coyote]

*Which is why I ain't gettin' hitched within the next decade* :D

[Funkmonkey]

Originally posted by Coyote
*Which is why I ain't gettin' hitched within the next decade* :D

Well then how about the next decade after that? I know a furry little marmoset that would love you long time. She's just dyyyyyyyyyin' to meet you!

[alexpgrimes]

If I get married again I'm going to Las Vegas and get married by the Grim Reaper. That should give it the start that it needs..lol

[Funkmonkey]

So where will the proposal take place?

1) Make him go jogging around the reservoir in Central Park. "...huff...puff... Ally, will you.... huff... puff... marry .......puff ....me?"

2) Go to Columbus Circle, catch a buggy ride, and have him address you as "My Princess" while you give the RoyalWAIVE™ to all the mere mortals before he pops the question.

3) Two words: Bronx Zoo. "Oh, honey, go in there and stand beside that gorilla. I'll take your picture. He looks so cute!" And if he complains, "If you do it I might say yes."

4) Go to Arthur's Tavern, in the West Village, and tip the tenor sax player to play the Wedding Theme just before the question is popped.

5) Go to the Met, find a balcony and reinact Romeo and Juliet. Set out an overturned hat and see how much change you get. (As a bonus, break out a long wig and do Rapunzel.)

[Ally_Kat]

well, he does want to go for a carriage ride in Central park. Hmm...

The real question is not how or where but when. Is it going to be on Christmas? My birthday? New years? Our anniversary? Valentine's Day? Graduation? Sometime after that?