50th prostate exam

[Whiteflag]

as all men know it is very important to have your prostate examination once a year. it can save your life. this is equivalent i suppose to breast examination for women.

regardless for the 50th time yesterday a doctor stuck his/her finger up my ass and checked my prostate. for the record 34 times it has been a male doctor and 16 times a female doctor.

i realize many of you have probably never had one or nowhere near 50 times as i am alot older than all of you! but remember this can save your life

[GAR]

Spotted a broke endoscope and monitor off ebay for $400 and after cleaning off the ancient cack encrustations around the CCD, managed to get it to work perfectly.

Although it may be stimulating to know you can give yourself an anterior prostate exam anytime I feel like and post mp4's on ogrish, what REALLY excites me is the idea of an INTERIOR prostate exam - with all these new miniaturized CCD-tips you can give yourself an view of your thunderpump from the inside!

I mean, after all, fingerfucking gets boring really quick doesn't it.. too bad these new HD cam tips aren't backward-compatible with my old unit though. I'll probably flip it for 2 grand or something.. unless someone wants to borrow it for awhile?

[Seshmeister]

regardless for the 50th time yesterday a doctor stuck his/her finger up my ass and checked my prostate.


Seriously unless you are over 100 years old if your doctor has stuck his finger up your ass 50 times already I think he wants a relationship...

[sadaist]

i realize many of you have probably never had one or nowhere near 50 times


Unfortunately I have. The worst is when they call in interns to watch / assist. After a few times you just roll with it.

Reminds me of a friend I had. I asked him:

Dude, do you let a chick stick her finger in your ass when she sucks you dick?

"Let"? I demand it.

:hee:

[GAR]

When I think of the chore of not checking your prostate at least once a week, I think about going out like Bill Bixby.. which is not a good way to go.

I realize not everyone has the facility and willpower to shove an ass-camera up their butt past all the feces, worms and parasitii playing this quasi-game of "Journey Thru the Center Of Your Earth" so I believe Whiteflag is correct in providing discussion to support this very important procedure.

[GAR]

Unfortunately I have. The worst is when they call in interns to watch / assist. After a few times you just roll with it.


I too, have an aversion to displaying my inflamed and empimpled nudity to a staff of assistants you feel embarrassed to watch, half-gagging as the stench of these oily soils fill the room.. it is quite embare-assing. For both them, and myself a little bit. It's just uncomfortable.

Plus, the finger-probing method only checks to see if your nugget-nutter is still soft and small. To see what's really going on, you need a scope for that like I have, except the doctor "has to" bill you 1300 in order to do that.

Own your own, cut your costs.

[sadaist]

I've never had the camera up there. I know there are 2 versions. A quick one and a much more detailed one. I wouldn't mind so much, but yeah...I don't really want 4 people in the room.

You gotta remember, it's just business as usual for the doctors though. But you gotta wonder about a person who chooses to specialize in peoples buttholes.

Although I think the worst would be a colonic (right word?). Where they fill ya full of water to cleanse out years of bad stuff. I've heard stories where many don't make it to the bowl and ewww. Why go through all that when they can just sit you on a toilet and have you listen to VH III?

[GAR]

Yup, colonic's the word. That's another way to sift thru your poo, but without a camera.

Colonics are great too if you're into seeing the worms swim round in the outflow tank like tropical fish all stringing about..

[Whiteflag]

who is the fucking moron that moved this thread here. this is a serious issue. what the fuck!

[Va Beach VH Fan]

I didn't, but I'll move it back to Non....

But only after I remove the idiotic jokes from GAR in it....

[Jagermeister]

Seriously unless you are over 100 years old if your doctor has stuck his finger up your ass 50 times already I think he wants a relationship...

:lmao:

[chefcraig]

who is the fucking moron that moved this thread here. this is a serious issue. what the fuck!

Please, spare me the wounded integrity bullshit. Apparently you failed to notice that your important thread was moved several days ago. You also didn't bother to read the thread to see how "seriously" the subject was being treated. Address your complaints not to the guy that moved the thread, but rather to the clue-free asshat who caused it's move in the first place.

And if the routine continues, not only will the thread be moved, it will be dumped for good. Have a nice day.

[Nitro Express]

The only time a doctor shoved his hand up my ass was during an Air Force pilot's physical. They check everything but your sperm count with that one. If you don't want prostate cancer, eat a good diet, get plenty of oxygen an fuck a lot. If you can't fuck masturbate. That gland likes to be emptied every now and it's good to do so on a regular basis. We's made to fuck and if we don't the prostate goes to hell.

[Va Beach VH Fan]

I got a colonoscopy a few years ago just as a precaution.... The actual procedure was nothing, I slept through it.... The pain in the ass (no pun intended) is the gallon of crap that you have to drink the night before to clean you out.... Might as well just sit on the can for two hours....

[GAR]

The only time a doctor shoved his hand up my ass was during an Air Force pilot's physical. They check everything but your sperm count with that one. If you don't want prostate cancer, eat a good diet, get plenty of oxygen an fuck a lot. If you can't fuck masturbate. That gland likes to be emptied every now and it's good to do so on a regular basis. We's made to fuck and if we don't the prostate goes to hell.

You know, you could have been a poet! AMEN to that.. nothing to add here. Empty that glad, and empty it often. Those clumps - if you do NOT evict 'em - they'll evict YOU and that's the bottom line here.

Tell your Grandmother: are you milking that Grandpa gland?
Is your Aunt doing her duty pumping Unc's junk?
Can your Ma still push that pole till it spills out its' toll..

Folks listen up: we don't really know each other but we're SOME kind of community and I for one want you all to get this message out to every person you know online or off: the men of the household must take out the trash.. but the women must be held accountable for pushing the plumbing clear and it's really, really important.

That is my FATWA for the day.. take it to heart and go forward with it I beg of you for G-d and cuntry.

[GAR]

I'm taking Nitro Express off ignore for sheer brilliance of expression.

I admires (1) time.

[Nitro Express]

Thank you Gar!

We's made to fuck! Gotta milk the junk because that's why it there. It's like getting a bladder infection for not pissing. Don't hold back, use it!

[GAR]

Nitro, instead of telling your gal tonite "lets' fuck after I get back with the ice cream," tell her "we're going to stabilize exchange-fluid levels in accordance with the scriptural command."

Say it straight faced, do not break character delivering the line, and look straight at her eyes wide open when you say it and begin a silent count before she laughs - let me know how long it took. My chick took 11 seconds to figure the gag out.

[LEFTY is Gar's Bitch]

thank you for the rimming last nite gary.

[Nitro Express]

I actually saw a chinese pharmacist in Hong Kong where they make custom concoctions from everything from dried sea horses to bear gall bladders. First comes the consultation and I wanted a bigger cock that shot more love juice. The first question was do you masturbate? I said yes and the chinese dude goes, "you have to be very careful with masturbation because you lose chi energy. Then I got a lesson on how to fuck. I guess it's better to fuck a woman and dock into her lower chakra and exchange energy than it is to blow you chi all over the tile int the shower cranking one out. He also told me not to fuck men because the energy is unbalanced.