Sssskkkrrrreeeeeeeech! **boom!!!**

[Hardrock69]

So I am sitting in my car today. Making a left turn into my bank's parking lot. 4 lanes, no median. Waiting for the oncoming traffic to clear so I can make my turn.

Traffic clears, I step on the gas, and am almost to the driveway (but all the way out of the lane I was in).

That last bit is pretty important.

Suddenly I heard the sound of skidding tires on asphalt and a load *CRASH!*.

I looked back over my left shoulder. A car had been stopped behind me, waiting for me to make my left turn. After I exited the lane, a stupid woman who obviously had not been paying attantion crammed her car into that car's ass.

It was not my fault, but then if I had not been sitting there to begin with, it would not have happened.
Also, if I had not made my left turn where I did, the car behind me would have plowed into MY car's ass!

Oh well.

I went into the bank, made a deposit.

Came out. Drove right by the cars that crashed, and turned left to get a pizza, just across the street from the bank.

The Traffic Gods were smiling upon me today.

[Diamondjimi]

Did you stop and buy a lottery ticket?

[Little Texan]

There are so many terrible, stupid "drivers" on the streets these days, I'm surprised the frequency of accidents isn't higher than it is. I swear most of these idiots get their licenses out of a cereal box. In Texas you used to had to take a driving test with a highway patrol riding with you in the car and you had to pass it before you could renew your driver's license. They did away with that test many years ago, and it shows. Any fucking moron can get a license now so long as they pony up the $15 for renewal, and this is every 5 years or so.

[chefcraig]

The Traffic Gods were smiling upon me today.

A few years ago, I was slowing down to make a right turn into a strip shopping center. I even used my turn signal, but this impatient asshole behind me lays on his horn, instead of slowing down or simply driving around me. I nonchalantly flipped him a bird and forgot about it. All of a sudden, as I'm getting out of my truck, this same airbag comes running up to me, screaming obscenities and looking for a fight. Apparently, he wasn't in that much of a hurry, and being a shithead decided to come after me.

So I stood half in and half out of my truck, letting this moron say his piece as he attempted to get in my face. I stepped out holding my aluminum baseball bat, and said in a quiet voice "I think you are an idiot, and I'm not the only one." Then I pointed over his shoulder with the bat toward a cop who had parked behind the idiot's car and was writing him a ticket for parking in a handicapped space. It would seem that in his haste and his anger, the blowhard had somehow forgotten that the fine for doing so was $250. As he ran off to toward the officer, I went into the store, made my purchase and drove away as the nitwit pleaded his case to the cop, who splendidly was having none of it.

[Terry]

What burns me up is driving by one person after another and seeing these drivers with one hand on the steering wheel and the other hand holding a cell phone up to their ear. This behavior is something I see on a daily basis, and people aren't using their turn signals when they should be because their hands are occupied.

Put down the fucking phone, put your eyes on the fucking road and DRIVE.

If that fucking phone call is so important:
1) Pull over.
2) Make your phone call.
3) End your phone call.
4) Resume driving.

Many states have enacted and are enforcing codes which stipulate that commerical drivers may not use cellular phones or any other type of electronic communication devices (texts, 2 way radios) while their vehicle is in motion. I think this same law should apply across the board to ALL drivers.

Pay attention to the road, fuckers! Put your makeup on before you leave the house, pick a time to eat OTHER than when you are operating a motor vehicle and fer chrissake learn the rules of the road.

[Guitar Shark]

What burns me up is driving by one person after another and seeing these drivers with one hand on the steering wheel and the other hand holding a cell phone up to their ear. This behavior is something I see on a daily basis, and people aren't using their turn signals when they should be because their hands are occupied.

Put down the fucking phone, put your eyes on the fucking road and DRIVE.

If that fucking phone call is so important:
1) Pull over.
2) Make your phone call.
3) End your phone call.
4) Resume driving.

Many states have enacted and are enforcing codes which stipulate that commerical drivers may not use cellular phones or any other type of electronic communication devices (texts, 2 way radios) while their vehicle is in motion. I think this same law should apply across the board to ALL drivers.

Pay attention to the road, fuckers! Put your makeup on before you leave the house, pick a time to eat OTHER than when you are operating a motor vehicle and fer chrissake learn the rules of the road.

Bravo! This is the law in my state (Washington), by the way. No cell phone/texting while driving. It used to be that the police could pull you over only if you were committing a different traffic offense, but they recently changed it so that it is a primary offense. Unfortunately, it's just a ticket and doesn't get reported to insurance companies. In my view, that is the missing piece and is the one thing that will convince people to actually obey that law. Right now, they'd rather just pay the ticket than stop using their phone.

[Guitar Shark]

Good story, HR, by the way. You should have given the victim your card though. Always good to have a witness if you need one.

[Little Texan]

What burns me up is driving by one person after another and seeing these drivers with one hand on the steering wheel and the other hand holding a cell phone up to their ear. This behavior is something I see on a daily basis, and people aren't using their turn signals when they should be because their hands are occupied.

Put down the fucking phone, put your eyes on the fucking road and DRIVE.

If that fucking phone call is so important:
1) Pull over.
2) Make your phone call.
3) End your phone call.
4) Resume driving.

Many states have enacted and are enforcing codes which stipulate that commerical drivers may not use cellular phones or any other type of electronic communication devices (texts, 2 way radios) while their vehicle is in motion. I think this same law should apply across the board to ALL drivers.

Pay attention to the road, fuckers! Put your makeup on before you leave the house, pick a time to eat OTHER than when you are operating a motor vehicle and fer chrissake learn the rules of the road.

While TALKING on the phone while driving is bad enough, at least you can look at the road while doing so, even if you're distracted. These too stupid to fucking breathe, knuckle-dragging morons that text while driving are not only distracted, but they're taking their eyes off the road, putting theirs and other drivers' lives and safety in jeopardy. It's amazing to me that you have to actually tell these imbeciles that texting while driving is DANGEROUS. These assholes are showing not only their stupidity, but how selfish they are by deeming a call or text more important than people's lives.

[chefcraig]

I always liked what the watermelon-smashing comic Gallagher used to say about traffic enforcement. Every driver would be equipped with a plastic gun that fired yellow, suction-cupped darts. Whenever someone would drive offensively, such as cutting you off, ect., you'd fire one of the darts at the rear of their car. Once they had ten darts on their bumper, the police would pull them over and throw them in jail for being an assholes.

[Dan]

No Driving With A Cell-Phone Is The Law Here In New Zealand.Hands Free Sets Have Been Selling Like Hot Cakes.:D

[Hardrock69]

Did you stop and buy a lottery ticket?

I should have. Damn.

[Hardrock69]

Good story, HR, by the way. You should have given the victim your card though. Always good to have a witness if you need one.

True. But there were plenty of witnesses. The security guard at the bank saw the actual hit. I just heard it, as I was concentrating on finishing my turn. If it had been 2 AM or something, and I was the sole outside witness, I would have become involved. There were no injuries by the way. Strangely, I did not feel any urge to take a photo, even though I had my trusty digicam with me. Usually I take pics of anything unusual that occurs during my day.

[Nitro Express]

I used to live by an indian reservation and the indians would come into town to hit the bars and get drunk. Then drive home drunk. On the reservation you risked getting hit by a drunk indian with no insurance and the tribal police not on your side.

Anyways, on a rainy day this drunk squaw driving a big ass early 70's tank of a Pontiac station wagon plows into the Toyota truck behind us and the truck plows into the back on my friend's Volkswagen Rabbit. The chick in the truck busted the back window of the cab with her head and blood all over screaming bloody murder. The drunk indian woman was just mumbling a bunch of gibberish. The Toyota truck was a crumbled mess and hardly anything happened to that big boat station wagon.

[Nitro Express]

My dad said when he was a kid the indians would come to town to get drunk but in those days they just pulled an old car with a horse or a mule. They could get loaded in the bar, pile into the old car wasted and the horse knew the way back home. It all went to shit when the car had a working engine and gasoline.

[Nitro Express]

Now the indians seem to go to law school or business school and run casinos and truck stops.