View Full Version : Just a Glugofjizz

02-18-2011, 11:22 AM

Stallion semen has Kiwis raring to go for Hokitika Wildfoods festival


FORGET pig's snout and ram's testicles.
In the world of extreme food, shots of stallion semen are the treat du jour - across the Tasman at least.

Our Kiwi neighbour will be serving up glasses of horse semen at its famed Hokitika Wildfoods festival next month, a "delicacy" that racehorse owner Lindsay Kerslake says will have extreme foodies "raring to go".

"Horses are pure testosterone you know. They have hardly any cholesterol, so the idea is you knock it back and feel like a stallion yourself," Mr Kerslake, of Christchurch, said.

"You'll have as much zizz as a stallion for a week afterwards."

The NZ$10 shots won't be for the faint-hearted.

Even the organiser of the edgy festival, Mike Keenan, said he wouldn't be letting the drink pass his lips.

"God no, it's definitely not to my taste, but you'll be shocked how many people will go for it," he said.

The keenest will be able to drink it au naturel, but the shots will also be available in cherry, licorice and banoffee pie flavours.

"You often hear from a female perspective that semen has an awful alkaline taste, so we thought we'd better make it more user-friendly. Think of it like a milkshake," said Mr Kerslake, who is yet to sample the delight himself.

"And it's all safe - we're getting the semen in the same way breeders do, using an artificial vagina and storing it in the formula they use."

The drink, to be served up by women brandishing riding whips, will be washed down with a chaser similar to Red Bull but more aptly named "Powerhorse".

On the science, Mr Kerslake is vague.

"We're pretty confident tests will explain how and why it makes you feel so good, but that's still being worked on."

Regardless, he's confident he'll have Kiwis lining up - "there's a lot of nutters over here game for anything you know" - and he reckons he could tempt Aussies into giving it a go too.

"You tend to love our racehorses so why not their product," he said with a laugh.

The festival proudly promotes itself as the the most "outrageous food experience" in New Zealand, a claim that won it a place in Frommer's top 300 unmissable festivals in the world.

Past delicacies have included wild pig gut kebabs with fresh eel slime sauce, wasp larvae ice-cream, bull penis and a pig snout dish that was so effective at strengthening nails that one convert had to use her uncle's pruning shears to trim her toenails.

The festival will be held on March 12.

02-19-2011, 05:39 PM

Nitro Express
02-19-2011, 05:59 PM
I think some Kiwi farmer got drunk one morning and went out and milked the horses.