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Seshmeister
03-16-2011, 08:58 PM
Heavy Metal followers aim to hijack UK census

Reported by Cameron Pirie
Published: March 16, 2011. © Rock AAA.

A Facebook group has already attracted almost 35,000 followers in a drive to get “Heavy Metal” recognition as a faith in the upcoming census.

With forms currently being delivered to every house-hold in the UK for the ten yearly census of the population, the page administrators are convinced that they can garner enough support from the countries metal-heads to make a significant impact.

The idea has sprung from the astonishing results of the 2001 census when 390,127 people (0.8% of the population) in the UK filled in their forms stating Jedi as their favoured faith in a grassroots protest against the inclusion of the question about religious beliefs.

The group urges followers to make Heavy Metal a recognised religious faith using quotes from Ozzy Osbourne and a personal endorsement by Saxon frontman Biff Byford:

“Are you a defender of the faith? Do you throw the horns more often than you put your hands together? Then join our campaign to let the UK Census and the whole world know it.

“Rock’n’roll is my religion and my law…”
(You Can’t Kill Rock & Roll, Ozzy Osbourne, 1981)

“In the census of 2001, over 390,000 people stated that their religion was ‘Jedi’ on their census forms, making the fictional Stars Wars creed the fourth-biggest religion in the UK.

“With your help, we want to give metal the recognition it deserves by getting it acknowledged as a religion in the UK!

“Metal was created here so it must be in the gene pool in the UK, I think!” says Biff.

“In the early 80s there was a huge number of great bands and we were all part of the same club, whatever we called ourselves, whether it was heavy rock, rock’n’roll or heavy metal, it made no difference. There was just this huge following of over a million people in the UK and now it’s happening all over again! Getting heavy metal recognised as a religion is a great bit of rebellion, isn’t it? This really is going to be a very cool thing.”

“Pledge your allegiance to the cause by joining our Facebook group!”

You can sign-up as a denizen of noise here – UK census forms are due to be filled in by 27 March

Unchainme
03-16-2011, 09:26 PM
I have found one of their leaders:

http://c4.ac-images.myspacecdn.com/images01/35/l_f8fa5a5747eb16771f9d92180b8c3bf3.jpg

Seshmeister
03-16-2011, 10:56 PM
I think a lot of us here need to take a step back and accept that single photo probably propelled Ace further up the slippery tree of the music industry than any number of our 'great melodies or virtuoso guitar solos'. :)

I'm pretty much serious btw, If the music hadn't been so staggeringly shocking I think Ace had a chance of making it as a novelty act.

PETE'S BROTHER
03-16-2011, 11:01 PM
i'm stupid

Seshmeister
03-17-2011, 06:47 AM
I'm with you

ashstralia
03-17-2011, 06:51 AM
is that cactus strapped to his arm?































i miss the big galumph. :)

Seshmeister
03-17-2011, 07:22 AM
I think a lot of us here need to take a step back and accept that single photo probably propelled Ace further up the slippery tree of the music industry than any number of our 'great melodies or virtuoso guitar solos'. :)

I'm pretty much serious btw, If the music hadn't been so staggeringly shocking I think Ace had a chance of making it as a novelty act.

Whoah what was I drinking last night...? :D

ashstralia
03-17-2011, 07:39 AM
highly entertaining. continue.

BITEYOASS
03-17-2011, 11:24 AM
Awesome! Maybe I should consider immigrating to the UK or Funland in order to avoid the religious persecution against metal in the USA. :biggrin:

ELVIS
03-17-2011, 11:40 AM
Throw the horns ??

Seshmeister
03-17-2011, 11:48 AM
:rockit2::rockon::killer::rockit::headbangez:

ELVIS
03-17-2011, 12:00 PM
Maybe that could be the title of Ace's next album...

:killer:

Kristy
03-17-2011, 12:04 PM
I have found one of their leaders:

http://c4.ac-images.myspacecdn.com/images01/35/l_f8fa5a5747eb16771f9d92180b8c3bf3.jpg

*drool* He is so fucking hot!

binnie
03-17-2011, 12:13 PM
Sorry Kristy. Ace's dad forced him to have the snip when he was only 7 years old, so you won't be able to be the mother of his children.

(That thread was THE funniest thing I have ever seen on the internet.)

PETE'S BROTHER
03-17-2011, 12:18 PM
Whoah what was I drinking last night...? :D

:lmao: i was gonna ask you that yesterday...

Kristy
03-17-2011, 12:21 PM
Sorry Kristy. Ace's dad forced him to have the snip when he was only 7 years old, so you won't be able to be the mother of his children.

Oh dear. Well, there goes those 9 grandchildren my mother has been harping on me for the past five years. And why is he inside of a fence?

PETE'S BROTHER
03-17-2011, 12:28 PM
:rockit2::rockon::killer::rockit::headbangez:

i was at a local radio station this mornin' pickin' up some tickets, and the dj "threw the horns" when he saw my mini leprechaun hat. (not code) :biggrin:

PETE'S BROTHER
03-17-2011, 12:29 PM
Oh dear. Well, there goes those 9 grandchildren my mother has been harping on me for the past five years. And why is he inside of a fence?

he was building up his "borneo boy" character....

kwame k
03-17-2011, 12:35 PM
Oh dear. Well, there goes those 9 grandchildren my mother has been harping on me for the past five years. And why is he inside of a fence?

He's single now and there's always artificial insemination.........which would seem to be the preferred method with Ace.
As opposed to actual insemination:)

Kristy
03-17-2011, 12:45 PM
he was building up his "borneo boy" character....

You sure? Not that it was recess time at the local institution?

ThrillsNSpills
03-17-2011, 12:45 PM
Oh dear. Well, there goes those 9 grandchildren my mother has been harping on me for the past five years. And why is he inside of a fence?

(recess at reform school)



http://i286.photobucket.com/albums/ll103/realtodd/Acetrans.jpgcred:Kwam

Kristy
03-17-2011, 12:50 PM
You know what scares me about that pic is her lack of ankles.

Kristy
03-17-2011, 12:55 PM
(recess at reform school)

My bad. Thought it was musical therapy time for Ace.

ThrillsNSpills
03-17-2011, 12:56 PM
and I'm wondering how horrifying the original face was on that pic . :)

Kristy
03-17-2011, 01:04 PM
Well, it can't be any worse then what Jenifer Aniston is looking these days

http://cdn.buzznet.com/media-cdn/jj1/headlines/2008/10/jennifer-aniston-blackberry.jpg

Here's a NitroExpress-like story for you (because I am that bored). This woman who I work with set me up on a date with her son which was bad enough. What was worse is the fact he took me to see 'The Bounty Hunter' with dear ol' Jennifer playing her usual strong-willed but fragile woman horrible acting skills like she does in every movie she's ever been in. Anyhoo, after the flick he proposed to me (I'm not kidding) saying that he wanted me to be his Jennifer for life. The only date I've ever been on where I nearly punched a guy in his face.

Unchainme
03-17-2011, 02:07 PM
Sorry Kristy. Ace's dad forced him to have the snip when he was only 7 years old, so you won't be able to be the mother of his children.

(That thread was THE funniest thing I have ever seen on the internet.)

alright fill me in on this..

didn't he also claim to have aids once?

lesfunk
03-17-2011, 02:55 PM
Well, it can't be any worse then what Jenifer Aniston is looking these days

http://cdn.buzznet.com/media-cdn/jj1/headlines/2008/10/jennifer-aniston-blackberry.jpg

Here's a NitroExpress-like story for you (because I am that bored). This woman who I work with set me up on a date with her son which was bad enough. What was worse is the fact he took me to see 'The Bounty Hunter' with dear ol' Jennifer playing her usual strong-willed but fragile woman horrible acting skills like she does in every movie she's ever been in. Anyhoo, after the flick he proposed to me (I'm not kidding) saying that he wanted me to be his Jennifer for life. The only date I've ever been on where I nearly punched a guy in his face.

wow thanks for sharing. You should have punched him in the face. Even though you didn't, you should have said you punched him in the face. That would hve been the perfect end to that story.

hambon4lif
03-17-2011, 03:46 PM
I guess the hole-in-the-bottom-of-the-popcorn-bucket trick would've been completely out of the question......

binnie
03-17-2011, 04:59 PM
alright fill me in on this..

didn't he also claim to have aids once?

Yes, I believe he did - I seem to remember that it was 'cured'.

The forced neutering thread was over at Rothfans years ago. It was classic ownage from Lounge for about 25 pages. Genius.

binnie
03-17-2011, 05:02 PM
Well, it can't be any worse then what Jenifer Aniston is looking these days

http://cdn.buzznet.com/media-cdn/jj1/headlines/2008/10/jennifer-aniston-blackberry.jpg

Here's a NitroExpress-like story for you (because I am that bored). This woman who I work with set me up on a date with her son which was bad enough. What was worse is the fact he took me to see 'The Bounty Hunter' with dear ol' Jennifer playing her usual strong-willed but fragile woman horrible acting skills like she does in every movie she's ever been in. Anyhoo, after the flick he proposed to me (I'm not kidding) saying that he wanted me to be his Jennifer for life. The only date I've ever been on where I nearly punched a guy in his face.

That is scary - although it might be a compliment to you in a strange way (you must be quite a catch to be proposed to on the first date.) In my single days, I always made a rule of never been set up by anyone, as it always ended in disaster.

I actually think Jen looks OK for her age. She's no spring chicken. You couldn't pay me to sit through one of her films though.

lesfunk
03-17-2011, 05:07 PM
I thinks Jen is hot as hell but I would never watch any film or show she was involved in

Nitro Express
03-17-2011, 05:54 PM
I thinks Jen is hot as hell but I would never watch any film or show she was involved in

I always thought her acting was horrible but I always wanted to bang her for some reason. She actually seems like she would be a bore to be around though.

Nitro Express
03-17-2011, 05:57 PM
Here's a NitroExpress-like story

I never had a dude propose marriage on the first date. I never even have been on a first date with a dude. :biggrin:

PETE'S BROTHER
03-17-2011, 06:13 PM
I never had a dude propose marriage on the first date. I never even have been on a first date with a dude. :biggrin:

yet hope springs eternal :tongue0011:

Kristy
03-18-2011, 12:00 AM
I thinks Jen is hot as hell but I would never watch any film or show she was involved in

I just don't see why guys like her. Maybe that whole girl-nest-door-I-think-I-have-a-chance-in-hell-to-nail look.

lesfunk
03-18-2011, 12:56 AM
Could be. I've just seen a few candid paparratzi (-2 sp) type pics of her on the beach and she just looked slamming to me. Especially considering she's 40 years old. But the whole "never had kids combined with a personal trainer with what I'm sure is a complete workout regimen as well as a good gene pool" has a lot to do with it.

Kristy
03-18-2011, 02:09 AM
Oh, she is well over 40.

lesfunk
03-18-2011, 02:22 AM
There ya go. :)
I mean shit, She's far from my favorite but what the hell, right?

Seshmeister
03-18-2011, 08:13 AM
Oh, she is well over 40.

42 is not well over 40.

We'll see if you still think a girl should be thrown in the trash when she reaches 42 when you get there especially if your dates don't improve. :)

Seshmeister
03-18-2011, 08:18 AM
Her films are unwatchable though. I guess they must make money due to the dating crowd otherwise she wouldn't get to make 20 of them a year.

If we are talking about inexplicable film stars how about Bruce Willis's son Ashton Kucher? How? Why?

Or Orlando Bland or Shit LaBeouf? The most tiresome pointless generation of actors ever. Seems all you need these days is a ridiculous fucking name.

binnie
03-18-2011, 09:18 AM
And yet Orlando Bloom has been in some of the hghest grossing films ever. Talk about lucky.

Jen's films are what they are - lighthearted romcoms. It's not like they're trying to make a comment on the human condition.

BITEYOASS
03-18-2011, 10:47 AM
Anyway, back to the main subject! If Metal becomes a religion in the UK and the religious reich in the USA won't stop oppressing us metalheads, then it's off to West Midlands I go.

ELVIS
03-18-2011, 10:52 AM
Metalheads are oppressed ??

BITEYOASS
03-18-2011, 11:50 AM
Metalheads are oppressed ??

Yeah, what fuckin rock have you lived in for the past 25+ years?!?!



http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QvvLL_oAvus&feature=related

BITEYOASS
03-18-2011, 11:53 AM
And then there are the religious nujobs who barge into your hotel room after a show, like what happened to Dimebag Darrell.

ELVIS
03-18-2011, 11:57 AM
Nobody oppressed me...

Kristy
03-18-2011, 01:21 PM
The PMC was the best thing that ever happened to metal.

hambon4lif
03-18-2011, 01:50 PM
The PMRC were fully expecting Zappa and Snider to rail against them, but John Denver turned out to be the phantom uppercut they didn't see coming, and it knocked them dead on their ass......

binnie
03-18-2011, 02:08 PM
I can't imagine enough people here will put 'Heavy Metal' down as their religion for it to be successful.

It is quite a funny idea though.

Kristy
03-18-2011, 02:25 PM
42 is not well over 40.

We'll see if you still think a girl should be thrown in the trash when she reaches 42 when you get there especially if your dates don't improve. :)

It's a bet! :baaa: