Gawd, I Fucking Hate Johnny Depp - Finally Saw One Of Those Pirate Movies [Archive] - The Diamond David Lee Roth Army

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Kristy

04-24-2011, 07:03 PM

There is more than enough idiocy going on in this film to make three or four films, which, in terms of bangs per buck will strike some as a good deal. But the fact will remain that none of the will be no where as fucking good as the original that inspired will be either here or even there to anyone willing to surrender themselves to this uncritically noisy, relentlessly frenetic sequel Dead Man’s Chest. But if you have an aversion to seeing shit films at their most entertaining make watching them seem like an endurance test, you may find merit in this long-winded pile of shit.

http://www.impawards.com/2006/posters/pirates_of_the_caribbean_dead_mans_chest.jpg

Dead Man’s Chest was directed by Gore Verbinski – the asshole – who also helmed its predecessor with an almost non-stop pathological insistence on action. The plot that develops in this dog mainly consist of frantic slapstick, endless comic chases that are not funny as Verbinski makes them out to be and shit sundry CGI beasties from the deep muggling desperately beneath what can only be described at multiple layers of special effects that make, for instance, the crew of the film’s villainous Davy Jones look like something hallucinated by Hunter S. Thompson. Yes for all of those horny women who want to suck Johnny’s cock thought the first film was “too wordy” might as well prefer this cartoon but be warned, there comes a point for anyone who watches this shit when you’ll find yourself screaming for an end to it all.

Speaking of Depp, those who loved his whole Captain Jack Sparrow – a performance of unpredictable comic brilliance will find him to be great here, too, playing for laughs which he easily gets. But…

http://0.tqn.com/d/movies/1/0/4/t/M/piratesofthecaribbean2pubg.jpg

Verbinski – the asshole – can only respond with uncertainty to Depp, almost fucking up Jacks’ big moment of reckless heroism towards the films’ protracted climax. The plot thus goes beyond shit and it would detain me unduly to try to explain the labored devices (including, guess what, a “mysterious” chest, a magic compass, primitive headhunters, a voodoo priestess and to top it off, fucking Davy Jones seafaring unfucking dead) that are ALL required to reunite the characters from the first movie. What a chaotic narrative that (finally) ends in nearly three fucking hours later. Yet for all of its exhausting bluster, and thanks mainly to Depp, there’s enough crap to be found here to suggest that his franchise still has enough going for it to look forward – with qualified enthusiasm – to the next pirate adventure. A [I]fourth one? Geesh.

Diamondjimi

04-24-2011, 07:10 PM

~Data~

binnie

04-24-2011, 07:11 PM

They are films for kids, family films. Don't over-complicate it Kristy.

Depp has always been a great character actor, and the 'Pirates' films are feel good, harmless fun for families with pre-teen kids. Nothing more, nothing less.

Terry

04-24-2011, 07:18 PM

Am I alone in thinking of Johnny Depp as more than a bit overrated, acting-wise?

chefcraig

04-24-2011, 07:18 PM

I guess this wouldn't be a good time to bring up Tim Burton's upcoming Dark Shadows film starring...Johnny Depp, as Barnabas Collins.

SunisinuS

04-24-2011, 07:25 PM

Kristy. Dick.Mouth. Implement. Sleep well!

Kristy

04-24-2011, 07:27 PM

Depp was only good in two movies: Ed Wood and Dead Man

binnie

04-24-2011, 07:30 PM

You've seen - and evaluated - all of Depp's movies?

Kristy

04-24-2011, 07:34 PM

Yes.

http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/51HGZ5CQ50L._SL500_AA300_.jpg

Utter crap.

binnie

04-24-2011, 07:36 PM

How about: Donnie Brasco, What's Eating Gilbert Grape, Fear and loathing in Las Vegas, Once Upon a Time in Mexico, The Libertine, Sweeny Todd, The Brave and Charlie & The Chocolate Factory?

I'd say all of those performances were pretty damn good. What I like about Depp is that - unlike most A listers - he doesn't just trot out blockbuster after blockbuster for the $$$$$$.

Susie Q

04-24-2011, 07:38 PM

~data~

lmao!! Love this™!!

Kristy

04-24-2011, 07:38 PM

What? No 'Blow'? No 'Ninth Gate'? What another pile of steamy crap that was.

hambon4lif

04-24-2011, 07:39 PM

Blow was a decent flick IMO.

binnie

04-24-2011, 07:39 PM

Yes.

http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/51HGZ5CQ50L._SL500_AA300_.jpg

Utter crap.

If you hate him so much, why would you watch every single one of his movies and then start a thread about him?

Seems like a way to make yourself unhappy......

ThrillsNSpills

04-24-2011, 07:40 PM

:)

binnie

04-24-2011, 07:40 PM

What? No 'Blow'? No 'Ninth Gate'? What another pile of steamy crap that was.

Ninth Gate was crap. So was Public Enemies, and From Hell.

Sleepy Hollow seems to split opinion.

Susie Q

04-24-2011, 07:46 PM

Dark Shadows remake looks like it may be interesting....

Depp made some shit flicks, but he also made some decent films too.

fifth element

04-24-2011, 08:07 PM

How about: Donnie Brasco, What's Eating Gilbert Grape, Fear and loathing in Las Vegas, Once Upon a Time in Mexico, The Libertine, Sweeny Todd, The Brave and Charlie & The Chocolate Factory?

I'd say all of those performances were pretty damn good. What I like about Depp is that - unlike most A listers - he doesn't just trot out blockbuster after blockbuster for the $$$$$$.

:happy64::happy64::happy64::happy64::happy64::happ y64:

what he said

hambon4lif

04-24-2011, 08:11 PM

If you hate him so much, why would you watch every single one of his movies and then start a thread about him?

Seems like a way to make yourself unhappy......It's just a way to perpetuate that "Joan Jett shitting a cactus" image she seems to be going after.

sadaist

04-24-2011, 08:15 PM

Depp has always been a great character actor, .

Agree. He is perfect for stuff like Capt Jack, the Mad Hatter, etc... the way over the top cartoonish type roles.

For a more serious take, I thought he was good in Donnie Brasco.

But Depp isn't the type to draw me to a film. He has his niche in Hollywood & fills the spot perfectly. Not a great actor, but a great role player.

sadaist

04-24-2011, 08:17 PM

If you hate him so much, why would you watch every single one of his movies and then start a thread about him?

Seems like a way to make yourself unhappy......

Sometimes miserable people only find happiness in creating more misery. Not saying that Kristy is miserable. But my ex-wife was the angry type, and she fit the bill perfectly. Unfortunate I didn't realize this until it was far too late. But I'm great at spotting it now! :)

lesfunk

04-24-2011, 08:21 PM

I thought he fucking nailed HST in Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas!

kwame k

04-24-2011, 08:24 PM

The guy was friends with Hunter S for fuck's sake............Fear and Loathing was a great movie.

Yes, he's made some awful movies but he's always went against type and has made some interesting choices career wise. He could of just went the pretty boy route and played it safe but he didn't......for that I have respect for the guy.

Dan

04-24-2011, 08:34 PM

I'm A Fan Of Johnny Depp.:hitch:

Kristy

04-24-2011, 08:44 PM

Sometimes miserable people only find happiness in creating more misery. Not saying that Kristy is miserable. But my ex-wife was the angry type, and she fit the bill perfectly. Unfortunate I didn't realize this until it was far too late. But I'm great at spotting it now! :)

Eh, I'm still grieving the loss of my sister, Mr. Owl.

VAiN

04-24-2011, 08:44 PM

He could of just went the pretty boy route and played it safe but he didn't......for that I have respect for the guy.

I agree... I respect the guy for seeming to have integrity and not falling into the hollywood trap.

kwame k

04-24-2011, 08:45 PM

I'm A Fan Of Johnny Depp.:hitch:

How ghey ;)

VAiN

04-24-2011, 08:46 PM

lmao!! Love this™!!

Holy crap, what's up Susie Q? Haven't seen you around in a while!

kwame k

04-24-2011, 08:49 PM

I agree... I respect the guy for seeming to have integrity and not falling into the hollywood trap.

He seems to make a few blockbusters and then does the off the wall shit......pretty smart move and good for the old bank account, too!

Reading the bio stuff on Hunter and the shit Johnny did with him is just classic!

ashstralia

04-24-2011, 09:15 PM

i used to love 21 jump st.

VAiN

04-24-2011, 09:51 PM

i used to love 21 jump st.

Wow, that feels like a million years ago...

clarathecarrot

04-24-2011, 11:27 PM

I love the idea of hearing from Miss Q.

But, I have never been one to be a part of watching gehy flicks.

Your intent to promote this movie is assinine and I don't raggle with fag hags.

clara is yore tool of destruction in, 2012.

Vote dirt.

fifth element

04-24-2011, 11:41 PM

I'm A Fan Of Johnny Depp.:hitch:

I like Depp in many of the films he has done.

Totally enjoyed the new Alice in Wonderland....

Diamondjimi

04-24-2011, 11:45 PM

Eh, I'm still grieving the loss of my sister, Mr. Owl.

Sorry to hear that Kristy...

ashstralia

04-24-2011, 11:48 PM

Sorry to hear that Kristy...

+1 [[[kristy]]]

Nitro Express

04-24-2011, 11:52 PM

I never saw what was so great about the guy. I have liked some of the movies he was in. He doesn't seem like an asshole and I hear he pretty much shows up to act. I know directors love working with him.

clarathecarrot

04-24-2011, 11:57 PM

I like Depp in many of the films he has done.

Totally enjoyed the new Alice in Wonderland....

and that is why you are an asshole
not that there is anything wrong with that.
or a fag hag

ashstralia

04-24-2011, 11:57 PM

he was freakin weird as willy wonka... like serial killer weird...

clarathecarrot

04-25-2011, 12:18 AM

http://youtu.be/nd5vvoWcQ4A

tube this mutha and just slam some Brass Bitches

1
2
3
4....this ole heart of mine bin broke a thousand times...

clarathecarrot

04-25-2011, 12:25 AM

sing it baby stand up get it..!!

just say no to this silly shit.

c'mon sing it

Hardrock69

04-25-2011, 02:24 AM

I respect him for taking on roles he wants to, no matter how bizarre or ridiculous. At least he IS an actor, unlike other people who were in movies like The Matrix, National Treasure, etc.

Ninth Gate was interesting, though I had seen comic books like House Of Mystery, and Ghosts (from the early 70s) that had similar stories. Did not blow me away, but then, I find movies about Satan more often than not to be comedies, no matter what the intent of the director was. I bought the DVD of Rosemary's Baby a couple of weeks ago and laughed like hell:

"OH NO! WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO IT'S EYES??!?!?!?!?!"

"HE HAS THE EYES OF HIS FATHER! HAIL SATAN!!!" :lmao:

I saw the first POTC film and thought it some good harmless fun. Not interested in any of the others.

Would much rather see REAL pirate/seafaring films like Captain Blood, The SeaHawks, the ORIGINAL Treasure Island, or (not exactly a pirate movie but what the fuck) The Adventures Of Captain Horatio Hornblower.

bueno bob

04-25-2011, 10:19 AM

I enjoyed Ninth Gate. Found it interesting enough as a story if albeit anti-climatic at it's end. I guess the cool thing about it is you can ponder the "OK, what exactly happened here??" of the movie almost indefinitely, and I've seen the message boards to prove it...there are a lot of interesting theories about that movie for sure.

I have to admit, too, I really enjoyed him in Secret Window. One of the very few Stephen King movies that was actually done accurately.

Hardrock69

04-25-2011, 12:49 PM

Hey, at least in the Ninth Gate some bitch got naked and fucked the shit out of him, lol. Doesn't matter that the bitch was Satan, lol.

And I did crack up when the dude who hired him fried. Play with fire, you get burned, Mr. Genius....:lmao:

Interesting...even though I have the DVD, I did not know it was directed by Roman Polanski. That dude has a thing about directing movies about Satan, lol.

Guitar Shark

04-25-2011, 04:48 PM

It's just a way to perpetuate that "Joan Jett shitting a cactus" image she seems to be going after.

:lol: :lol: :lol:

Nailed it!

Kristy, I hope this is just your internet personality and that you are able to find things that make you happy in your real life.

Jagermeister

04-25-2011, 05:14 PM

Captain Jack is a great character.

Kristy

04-25-2011, 05:19 PM

Captain Jack is a great character.

Profound.

Kristy

04-25-2011, 05:25 PM

That chat room kind of blows.

Jagermeister

04-25-2011, 05:30 PM

That chat room kind of blows.

Yeah no one ever looks at it. :(

Matt White

04-25-2011, 05:35 PM

Depp rocks......

DEAD MAN is his best......

Kristy

04-25-2011, 05:42 PM

See? Told ya Dead Man was good.

Matt White

04-25-2011, 05:44 PM

See? Told ya Dead Man was good.

Yup.....Depp's fav too....

A bunch of cool cameos too.....Billy Bob, Iggy.....

"Looks like a Damn religious Icon!"

And the best line.............."Do you have......tobacco?"

fifth element

04-26-2011, 12:22 AM

and that is why you are an asshole
not that there is anything wrong with that.
or a fag hag

just because you know who I am
DOESN'T mean you know me....

Satan

04-26-2011, 02:54 AM

I find movies about Satan more often than not to be comedies, no matter what the intent of the director was.

Yeah, tell me about it http://www.cosgan.de/images/smilie/teufel/d085.gif

clarathecarrot

04-26-2011, 11:20 AM

Originally Posted by clarathecarrot
and that is why you are an asshole
not that there is anything wrong with that.
or a fag hag

just because you know who I am
DOESN'T mean you know me....

Depp is the gay version of every character in all of his movies it is a slot in the outline of image attention that is listed in hollywood as character traits that attract segments of the population.
Not every actor can play it like Brando or Ellen or Karloff , it is a set list of demographic income.
I am happy some of you find that similairity appealling and are willing to give your money in that direction.
I see a candy ass...." Depp that last scene was great, but can you please stick to what we hired you for, more candy ass."

Nitro Express

04-26-2011, 11:31 AM

:lol: :lol: :lol:

Nailed it!

Kristy, I hope this is just your internet personality and that you are able to find things that make you happy in your real life.

I like hate. Keep it up Kristy! I'm tired of this passive sludge we have as a population. There is not fire in people anymore because they are too lazy and apathetic to have fire. Kristy has fire.

bueno bob

04-26-2011, 11:36 AM

I like hate. Keep it up Kristy! I'm tired of this passive sludge we have as a population. There is not fire in people anymore because they are too lazy and apathetic to have fire. Kristy has fire.

Right on! We can go ahead and rename "Non VH/DLR Related Stuff" into "What Kristy Hates" while we're at it and make it a read-only forum for the rest of us, too.

clarathecarrot

04-26-2011, 11:43 AM

Captain Jack is a great character.

I can see Blue Beard, Black Beard, any other pirate names you can think of, real pirates throught history, all sitting in easy chairs dressed in thier garb of thier era watching a big screen furrowed brows one with his hand on his chin perhaps all with contemplative looks of wonderment disgust and torment....

Then one of them looks to the other and sais, "was I really that over the top...?"
"Was I that affected .... is this how history sees us, like a bunch of poofters skipping across the beach with a bottle in one hand and a cock in the other?"

Then another chimes in..." what would prompt someone to create this and who finds it worthy of thier time...and where is this place.. some alternate reality where people ask for nothing and accept anything?"

If anyone has the time I could story board this image described and we could shoot this image I know a guy who can print 60 inch X however wide it is you want it.... it could be the next ,dogs playing poker .... that transends time...lol

clara has you best interest at heart in 2012

PETE'S BROTHER

04-26-2011, 11:45 AM

yes.

no?

fifth element

04-26-2011, 02:16 PM

Originally Posted by clarathecarrot
and that is why you are an asshole
not that there is anything wrong with that.
or a fag hag

Depp is the gay version of every character in all of his movies it is a slot in the outline of image attention that is listed in hollywood as character traits that attract segments of the population.
Not every actor can play it like Brando or Ellen or Karloff , it is a set list of demographic income.
I am happy some of you find that similairity appealling and are willing to give your money in that direction.
I see a candy ass...." Depp that last scene was great, but can you please stick to what we hired you for, more candy ass."

yawnnnnn.....

clarathecarrot

04-26-2011, 02:52 PM

yawnnnnn.....

YES! SCORE !! finally.. someone here was able to simplify my post and in one word and some tiny little dots, convey exactly what and about, I was trying to relate, in so many words, like so much Mellville, the complete affect Depp has on me.

I find is refreshing that you did that.

I wish I was, more simple like that.

Your asshole status has retrograded to a simple, huge ass.

I will mark this day on my calender of 2012.

Vote Dirt and Vegetable ...It Matters.

fifth element

04-26-2011, 05:03 PM

YES! SCORE !! finally.. someone here was able to simplify my post and in little dots, convey exactly what and about, I was trying to relate, in so many words, like so much Mellville, the complete affect Depp has on me.
one word and some tiny
I find is refreshing that you did that.

I wish I was, more simple like that.

Your asshole status has retrograded to a simple, huge ass.

I will mark this day on my calender of 2012.

Vote Dirt and Vegetable ...It Matters.

just wanting to be perfectly clear.......
my comment...one word and the ensuing little dots.....

yawnnnnn.....

are signifying the effect that YOU have on me....
and, I suspect....
on many others.

(although each person here is clearly able to speak for themselves on the matter.)
Go Army!

clarathecarrot

04-27-2011, 01:51 AM

just wanting to be perfectly clear.......
my comment...one word and the ensuing little dots.....

are signifying the effect that YOU have on me....
and, I suspect....
on many others.

(although each person here is clearly able to speak for themselves on the matter.)
Go Army!

Yeah!! That's what I mean my ability to relay to you the DeppEffect..it is a extraordinary snooze that sweeps deep inside your garage and fills you with concrete street curbs. The most mundane circumstances ever.

Thanks,... and as for your second joke I can't seem to find the ZINGER!!

Oh!! LOL!!! I get it, just like DeppEffect you have to look to the person in the theater to your right and ask, has the movie started yet... or is that the vacume of boredom, and I think I just shit myself from the emptiness I think I just saw.. that Depp he works just like Coffee after and night of eating at the Golden Bowl Chinese Soup, drive thru!!!

fifth element

04-27-2011, 03:12 AM

Yeah!! That's what I mean my ability to relay to you the DeppEffect..it is a extraordinary snooze that sweeps deep inside your garage and fills you with concrete street curbs. The most mundane circumstances ever.

Thanks,... and as for your second joke I can't seem to find the ZINGER!!

Oh!! LOL!!! I get it, just like DeppEffect you have to look to the person in the theater to your right and ask, has the movie started yet... or is that the vacume of boredom, and I think I just shit myself from the emptiness I think I just saw.. that Depp he works just like Coffee after and night of eating at the Golden Bowl Chinese Soup, drive thru!!!

Suggestion: Lock yourself back inside your vegetable crisper, as your comments are getting limper and liimper....
(or is that lamer and lamer?)

No matter, I suppose, as both apply.

PETE'S BROTHER

04-27-2011, 10:35 AM

i'm full of curbs.....

clarathecarrot

04-27-2011, 12:07 PM

Suggestion: Lock yourself back inside your vegetable crisper, as your comments are getting limper and liimper....
(or is that lamer and lamer?)

No matter, I suppose, as both apply.

No Mr. not .."No Matter"... Vegetable Matter...because it Matters.

Never, Suppose, you must, Matter...Believe!...brought to you by the clara for, "whattever importand matter" campain.

clarathecarrot

04-27-2011, 12:13 PM

i'm full of curbs.....

and that is why you are a great american.

Curbs,they keep the streets from spilling over into your yard.

as your fearless leader in 2012, I.. (clara in 2012), will not install more curbs I will place curb barriers to stop the streets from overspending and invoking easment anti constitutional dirt theft.

PETE'S BROTHER

04-27-2011, 12:17 PM

what is your stance on block walls?

clarathecarrot

04-27-2011, 12:23 PM

what is your stance on block walls?

Mine,is generally on block walls, a interlocking/converging fire type of a stance.

It all starts with good shoes.

PETE'S BROTHER

04-27-2011, 12:24 PM

and a ladder

clarathecarrot

04-27-2011, 12:30 PM

and a ladder

Ladders for America!

No, Ladders for the world!

A chicken in every pot, (or a Tofu'ruruky cluck tufo fuck soy chicke bean hen cluck wtf !!.. for strict vegatables).

And a ladder in every garage, so all can achieve what the sweet pea vine does.

PETE'S BROTHER

04-27-2011, 12:32 PM

ladders, they help ya get high

clarathecarrot

04-27-2011, 12:42 PM

As Chief Joseph of Nez Perce Tribe said , "One must achieve elevation perseverence thru increased inclination over a duration."

He then,thought about it for a long time, ‘inclination duration perseverence.’ And when he had thought about it long enough, he declared war on the Union.”.

and a Horn Toad can tell you the way to go, stuff like that.

Hardrock69

04-27-2011, 12:48 PM

The Larg is weak in this one.....
:(

PETE'S BROTHER

04-27-2011, 12:50 PM

it's fuckin' weak everywhere....

PETE'S BROTHER

04-27-2011, 12:51 PM

it's fuckin' weak everywhere....

or........IT'S FUCKIN' WEEK EVERYWHERE!!!

clarathecarrot

04-27-2011, 12:57 PM

The Larg is weak in this one.....
:(

We attempt to achieve -Cat- in different ways, the destination is the same.

Kristy

04-27-2011, 12:59 PM

This thread has gone way past its expiration date.

PETE'S BROTHER

04-27-2011, 01:01 PM

page 3, comin' up

clarathecarrot

04-27-2011, 01:07 PM

Excellent points expressed and thank you for letting us know what we should be talking about and when.

We are lacking guidence ?

I s that the rite word?

What thread is next and when can we discuss ,"Things"?

The next excellent achievment will be wipping out our PDA's to schedual sex maybe.... thursday in August..?

clarathecarrot

04-27-2011, 01:08 PM

By thursday in August I mean that is when will finish/reach what it is we need.

PETE'S BROTHER

04-27-2011, 01:09 PM

johnny depp's expiration date can kiss my ass

chefcraig

04-27-2011, 01:10 PM

As Chief Joseph of Nez Perce Tribe said , "One must achieve elevation perseverence thru increased inclination over a duration."

He then,thought about it for a long time, ‘inclination duration perseverence.’ And when he had thought about it long enough, he declared war on the Union.”.

and a Horn Toad can tell you the way to go, stuff like that.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_eg9A4k_z1Q&feature=related

Josey Wales: "You be Ten Bears?"

Ten Bears: "I am Ten Bears."

Josey: (spits tobacco) "I'm Josey Wales."

Ten Bears: "I have heard. You are the Gray Rider. You would not make peace with the Blue Coats. You may go in peace."

Josey: "I reckon not. Got nowhere to go."

Ten Bears: "Then you will die."

Josey: "I came here to die with you. Or live with you. Dying ain't so hard for men like you and me, it's living that's hard; when all you ever cared about has been butchered or raped. Governments don't live together, people live together. With governments you don't always get a fair word or a fair fight. Well I've come here to give you either one, or get either one from you. I came here like this so you'll know my word of death is true. And that my word of life is then true. The bear lives here, the wolf, the antelope, the Comanche. And so will we. Now, we'll only hunt what we need to live on, same as the Comanche does. And every spring when the grass turns green and the Comanche moves north, he can rest here in peace, butcher some of our cattle and jerk beef for the journey. The sign of the Comanche, that will be on our lodge. That's my word of life."

Ten Bears: "And your word of death?"

Josey: "It's here in my pistols, there in your rifles. I'm here for either one."

Ten Bears: "These things you say we will have, we already have."

Josey: "That's true. I ain't promising you nothing extra. I'm just giving you life and you're giving me life. And I'm saying that men can live together without butchering one another."

Ten Bears: "It's sad that governments are chiefed by the double-tongues. There is iron in your word of death for all Comanche to see. And so there is iron in your words of life. No signed paper can hold the iron, it must come from men. The words of Ten Bears carries the same iron of life and death. It is good that warriors such as we meet in the struggle of life... or death. It shall be life. (he takes his knife and cuts his hand. Josey does the same and they grasp each others hand.) So shall it be."

Josey: "I reckon so..."

PETE'S BROTHER

04-27-2011, 01:10 PM

By thursday in August I mean that is when will finish/reach what it is we need.

bullshit! i'm rubbin' one out before then

clarathecarrot

04-27-2011, 01:18 PM

[/QUOTE]
Josey Wales: "You be Ten Bears?"

Ten Bears: "These things you say we will have, we already have."

Josey: "I reckon so..."[/I][/QUOTE]

Trully no'one understands the carrot like Bugs Bunny.

Or was it Trudy ...ahhhhhhh ...Trudy, she was the one.

Could have been Judy..? no... Trudy, ...
...best 90 seconds of her life.

Nitro Express

04-27-2011, 01:18 PM

I was hoping Ten Bears would scalp Johnny Dep and then Clint Eastwood would shoot him.

PETE'S BROTHER

04-27-2011, 01:20 PM

trudy noone stands under the carrot like bugs

clarathecarrot

04-27-2011, 01:22 PM

trudy noone stands under the carrot like bugs
and they said there was no LARG.

clarathecarrot

04-27-2011, 01:39 PM

carrot lives in the dirt, weep not, the carrot naps in the dirt, yet he lives.

men can live together, unlike governments that create easments to our matters.

and hot chicks to braid our hair, I mean I'll do the dishes and cook, I just can't seem to braid very well.

these are the words of clara

PETE'S BROTHER

04-27-2011, 01:42 PM

so the carrot in the krissper is dead?

clarathecarrot

04-27-2011, 01:51 PM

so the carrot in the krissper is dead?

Krispie Rice Cakes with carrot shavings great at parties and the odd sware' swa ray..?
You know parties up on the hill with the swells. <( they also make good splelling)
I would post the complete recipe, but it is allready in the first sentence.
Complicated chef stuff secrets.

So, as pointed out the carrot lives.

PETE'S BROTHER

04-27-2011, 01:58 PM

alright. fuck the swells. if it swells, ride it

fifth element

04-27-2011, 03:32 PM

No Mr. not .."No Matter"... Vegetable Matter...because it Matters.

Never, Suppose, you must, Matter...Believe!...brought to you by the clara for, "whattever importand matter" campain.

Clara is so slow that it hasn't figured out...
YET

that I am not a "Mr."

S L O W

PETE'S BROTHER

04-27-2011, 03:38 PM

he was correcting you, not addressing you :baaa:

fifth element

04-27-2011, 04:05 PM

he was correcting you, not addressing you :baaa:

worse yet....carrots....ie: matter
are addressed as neither Mr, Mrs., Miss, Ms or any other type of formal address, as they are

an it
a carrot
a thing....

useful only for human consumption....
(and rabbits, I suppose....)

PETE'S BROTHER

04-27-2011, 04:08 PM

our torts like carrots, although not the best for them. they are its too

clarathecarrot

04-27-2011, 04:57 PM

Clara is so slow that it hasn't figured out...
YET

that I am not a "Mr."

S L O W

That explaines the strange new feelings, I am having ...uh ...hu'hum .
you know,.. down there.

Unlike my normal feelings of strange little dots and excessive comma usage, but soon I will get my manfur and no longer be, clara the after school special carrot that was different.

The film thinly vieled/based of the collective works or Clive Wootenvaderslagge the noted easter Madagascar nior filmaker, and his documentary....' When does the door really open. A testament to the wonderment of fried fish and a seasonable vegetable.

fifth element

04-27-2011, 05:16 PM

That explaines the strange new feelings, I am having ...uh ...hu'hum .
you know,.. down there.

Unlike my normal feelings of strange little dots and excessive comma usage, but soon I will get my manfur and no longer be, clara the after school special carrot that was different.

The film thinly vieled/based of the collective works or Clive Wootenvaderslagge the noted easter Madagascar nior filmaker, and his documentary....' When does the door really open. A testament to the wonderment of fried fish and a seasonable vegetable.

and on THAT note,
we're back to the point from whence we started.

YAWN......

clarathecarrot

04-27-2011, 05:54 PM

and on THAT note,
we're back to the point from whence we started.

YAWN......

So, there you go..! back on the track of this thread, Depp.

I apologize for getting seasonable vegetables as a side note, when they can be the best part of a fish dish.

All Hail The Snooze.

Grant

04-28-2011, 12:40 AM

i used to love 21 jump st.

I still haven't gotten over the time when my babysitter (excruciatingly) subjected me into watching endless re-runs of that all evening...

Hardrock69

04-28-2011, 01:33 AM

Ugh.....the torment musta been unbearable....

LoungeMachine

04-28-2011, 02:43 AM

So, as pointed out the carrot lives.

Not for long......

Hardrock69

04-28-2011, 10:04 AM

Right on...

PETE'S BROTHER

04-28-2011, 11:36 AM

Not for long......

carrot killin'?

fifth element

04-28-2011, 04:09 PM

Not for long......

ummmm...Carrots grow, they don't "live" per se.....

and as stated, are simply around for others to consume, bite, chew upon....

PETE'S BROTHER

04-28-2011, 04:14 PM

Carrots
Carrots need a very loose soil mix that is porous to allow plenty of water to go beneath the surface to the root. Carrot seeds are very tiny; sow them en masse. The key to successful carrot growing is to take your seed packet, and empty it along a row that is approximately 5 feet long. Cover the seeds with 1 inch of soil. Once the seedlings appear, thin them out to one plant for every 3 to 4 inches. The gestation period for carrots is typically from 70 to 80 days.

Read more: Seeds to Grow Vegetables | eHow.com http://www.ehow.com/info_7947519_seeds-grow-vegetables.html#ixzz1KqnlLj9c

Kristy

04-28-2011, 04:30 PM

Carrots? This thread has disintegrated into the subject of carrots..?

PETE'S BROTHER

04-28-2011, 04:38 PM

this one, and others to come probably

Guitar Shark

04-28-2011, 04:44 PM

Carrots? This thread has disintegrated into the subject of carrots..?

I agree, WTF? Let's get back to more of what Kristy fucking hates. ;)

fifth element

04-28-2011, 04:46 PM

Carrots? This thread has disintegrated into the subject of carrots..?
start a thread on a subject that is of little interest to others and i find that the subject matter usually makes a shift somewhere along the way.....

even if it is to the idea of chewing up annoying little carrots......

PETE'S BROTHER

04-28-2011, 04:51 PM

There is more than enough idiocy going on in this film to make three or four films, which, in terms of bangs per buck will strike some as a good deal. But the fact will remain that none of the will be no where as fucking good as the original that inspired will be either here or even there to anyone willing to surrender themselves to this uncritically noisy, relentlessly frenetic sequel Dead Man’s Chest. But if you have an aversion to seeing shit films at their most entertaining make watching them seem like an endurance test, you may find merit in this long-winded pile of shit.

http://www.impawards.com/2006/posters/pirates_of_the_caribbean_dead_mans_chest.jpg

Dead Man’s Chest was directed by Gore Verbinski – the asshole – who also helmed its predecessor with an almost non-stop pathological insistence on action. The plot that develops in this dog mainly consist of frantic slapstick, endless comic chases that are not funny as Verbinski makes them out to be and shit sundry CGI beasties from the deep muggling desperately beneath what can only be described at multiple layers of special effects that make, for instance, the crew of the film’s villainous Davy Jones look like something hallucinated by Hunter S. Thompson. Yes for all of those horny women who want to suck Johnny’s cock thought the first film was “too wordy” might as well prefer this cartoon but be warned, there comes a point for anyone who watches this shit when you’ll find yourself screaming for an end to it all.

Speaking of Depp, those who loved his whole Captain Jack Sparrow – a performance of unpredictable comic brilliance will find him to be great here, too, playing for laughs which he easily gets. But…

http://0.tqn.com/d/movies/1/0/4/t/M/piratesofthecaribbean2pubg.jpg

Verbinski – the asshole – can only respond with uncertainty to Depp, almost fucking up Jacks’ big moment of reckless heroism towards the films’ protracted climax. The plot thus goes beyond shit and it would detain me unduly to try to explain the labored devices (including, guess what, a “mysterious” chest, a magic compass, primitive headhunters, a voodoo priestess and to top it off, fucking Davy Jones seafaring unfucking dead) that are ALL required to reunite the characters from the first movie. What a chaotic narrative that (finally) ends in nearly three fucking hours later. Yet for all of its exhausting bluster, and thanks mainly to Depp, there’s enough crap to be found here to suggest that his franchise still has enough going for it to look forward – with qualified enthusiasm – to the next pirate adventure. A [I]fourth one? Geesh.

so which heels would keira be wearing? and question #2 "madam", what position would she be tied in?

PETE'S BROTHER

04-28-2011, 04:53 PM

I agree, WTF? Let's get back to more of what Kristy fucking hates. ;)

anxiously waiting for her preference on carrots......

PETE'S BROTHER

04-28-2011, 04:54 PM

start a thread on a subject that is of little interest to others and i find that the subject matter usually makes a shift somewhere along the way.....

even if it is to the idea of chewing up annoying little carrots......

baby carrots, they make a nice cake

Kristy

04-28-2011, 04:55 PM

I agree, WTF? Let's get back to more of what Kristy fucking hates. ;)

Cone Zones
http://allm92.files.wordpress.com/2011/01/oczone1.jpg

fifth element

04-28-2011, 04:57 PM

anxiously waiting for her preference on carrots......

now i'm interested.....
raw, boiled, grilled w/ butter.....

??????????????????

PETE'S BROTHER

04-28-2011, 05:02 PM

now i'm interested.....
raw, boiled, grilled w/ butter.....

??????????????????

shaved :biggrin:

chefcraig

04-28-2011, 05:18 PM

now i'm interested.....
raw, boiled, grilled w/ butter.....

??????????????????

Well, there's Carrot Cake, Sambhara, Belgian Raw Carrot Dip, Thai Carrot Salad, Yugoslav Carrot Cake, Gajjar Halva, Italian Catarina, Carrot Ice-Cream, California Sushi Rolls, Algerian Carrots, Carrot and oatmeal biscuits, Carrot Mushroom Loaf, Chinese Noodle and Carrot Salad, Carrot Pesto Slice, Chocolate Carrot Cake, Polish Beans and Carrots, Indian Carrot Jelly, Carrot and Sultana Pudding, Carrot Marmalade, German Carrots in Beer, Carrot Spice Pie, Carrot and Lentil Soup, Carrot and Mango Salsa, Curried Carrot Dip...

http://img1.imagehousing.com/91/9a04b791a09778b0bcbaf4d5f525a08e.jpg (http://www.imagehousing.com/)

PETE'S BROTHER

04-28-2011, 05:20 PM

:lmao:

PETE'S BROTHER

04-28-2011, 05:22 PM

http://www.tarladalal.com/recipes-using-carrot-253

clarathecarrot

04-28-2011, 07:30 PM

clara and the tiny giraffe that blows kisses goodbye are ever vigilant against the dragons of oppression.

Our journey is curbed by time.
http://i112.photobucket.com/albums/n189/thome_2006/carrot3.jpg

Vote stolen picasso and giraffe, Don carrot Quixote

PETE'S BROTHER

04-28-2011, 07:36 PM

did oolith draw that for you?

PETE'S BROTHER

04-28-2011, 07:37 PM

and did you sign up for a baby giraffe baby?

clarathecarrot

04-28-2011, 07:46 PM

The giraffe is a metaphore, so, no there is no beastiality except for the fact that, I like to fuck giraffes.

Besides, that this is strickly business what with all the what not and associated jibba jabba that must be corrected in the great U S of A.

PETE'S BROTHER

04-28-2011, 07:50 PM

The giraffe is a metaphore, so, no there is no beastiality except for the fact that, I like to fuck giraffes.

carrots get shoved in multiple species vagessesssesss?

chefcraig

04-28-2011, 07:53 PM

carrots get shoved in multiple species vagessesssesss?

Yeah, but it's best to tell the emergency room attendant that you accidentally sat on it.

clarathecarrot

04-28-2011, 07:54 PM

We will retire to the game room, for Brandy and Cigars and spare the ladies the stories of our conquests.

Besides, why explain why Brandy gets to smoke and drink with us, they wouldn't understand.

clarathecarrot

04-28-2011, 10:12 PM

Well, there's Carrot Cake, Sambhara, Belgian Raw Carrot Dip, Thai Carrot Salad, Yugoslav Carrot Cake, Gajjar Halva, Italian Catarina, Carrot Ice-Cream, California Sushi Rolls, Algerian Carrots, Carrot and oatmeal biscuits, Carrot Mushroom Loaf, Chinese Noodle and Carrot Salad, Carrot Pesto Slice, Chocolate Carrot Cake, Polish Beans and Carrots, Indian Carrot Jelly, Carrot and Sultana Pudding, Carrot Marmalade, German Carrots in Beer, Carrot Spice Pie, Carrot and Lentil Soup, Carrot and Mango Salsa, Curried Carrot Dip...

http://img1.imagehousing.com/91/9a04b791a09778b0bcbaf4d5f525a08e.jpg (http://www.imagehousing.com/)

:baaa::baaa:

clarathecarrot

05-03-2011, 02:22 AM

We will retire to the game room, for Brandy and Cigars and spare the ladies the stories of our conquests.

Besides, why explain why Brandy gets to smoke and drink with us, they wouldn't understand.

I tried to log in but I wrote clarathecarpet instead of clarathecarrot funny stuff ..let's be nude.

PETE'S BROTHER

05-03-2011, 11:42 AM

http://www.google.com/search?q=vegetable+carpet&um=1&ie=UTF-8&tbm=isch&source=og&sa=N&hl=en&tab=wi&biw=1280&bih=929

:hee:

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