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Hardrock69
05-11-2011, 11:55 PM
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/05/11/floridas-bestiality-law_n_860836.html#s277665&title=Josh_Chambers



Florida's Bestiality Law May Have Accidentally Outlawed Sex Entirely

First Posted: 05-11-11 07:07 PM | Updated: 05-11-11 07:30 PM


There may be some terrible news to report out of Florida today, depending on how the state's residents have collectively decided to apply the basic science of biological classification to their lives. Last week, we noted some good news: The Florida legislature had finally passed a law that would outlaw bestiality and preserve the innocence of Florida's native fauna.

At the time, I posited that only shiny-pated grifter-Governor Rick Scott could possibly foul up the effort. But over at Southern Fried Science, blogger "Andrew" points out that the law's wording has basically outlawed sex entirely:

An act relating to sexual activities involving animals; creating s. 828.126, F.S.; providing definitions; prohibiting knowing sexual conduct or sexual contact with an animal; prohibiting specified related activities; providing penalties; providing that the act does not apply to certain husbandry, conformation judging, and veterinary practices; providing an effective date.

Click here for a handy visual provided by Southern Fried Science that elucidates the fact that human beings are smack dab in the middle of the animal kingdom -- by which he means the "group of multicellular, eukaryotic organisms of the kingdom Animalia" and not the horse that won the 2011 Kentucky Derby (being "smack dab in the middle" of a thoroughbred horse is a situation the law originally intended to prevent).

Andrew ends with a quip:

So if you’re living in Florida on October 1, 2011 and would like to have sexual intercourse with a consenting adult, please check with your veterinarian or local livestock breeder first to make sure you abide by "accepted animal husbandry practices, conformation judging practices, or accepted veterinary medical practices.”

(As it happens, I already check with my veterinarian and local livestock breeder prior to intercourse, but my therapist tells me that this is a "fetish" that he'd like me to consider discontinuing.)

The Twittersphere has reacted in exactly the way you might expect:

Josh Chambers
1 of 10
@fleetadmiralj
Josh Chambers
logic time: Premise A: Humans are animals. Premise B: Florida banned having sex with any animal. Conclusion: it is illegal to have sex in FL

Nitro Express
05-12-2011, 03:03 AM
I remember several years ago some dude got killed trying to have sex with a horse and the horse kicked him and killed him. The investigation uncovered the place was an animal brothel. This was in Washington state and the problem the state had was they didn't have any laws on the books that made sexual abuse of animals illegal. I guess the place was providing animals for sickos to have sex with and molest.

sadaist
05-12-2011, 04:52 AM
I remember several years ago some dude got killed trying to have sex with a horse and the horse kicked him and killed him. The investigation uncovered the place was an animal brothel. This was in Washington state and the problem the state had was they didn't have any laws on the books that made sexual abuse of animals illegal. I guess the place was providing animals for sickos to have sex with and molest.



There was also that guy that worked for Boeing or something in WA state. He would have sex with horses on occasion. Well, this one horse ...the guy put its cock in his ass like he normally would, but the horse gave a mighty thrust....FULL INSERTION all at once. Ruptured the guys innards and he died hours later from internal bleeding. Perforated colon.

Mr. Hands was the guys nickname.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Enumclaw_horse_sex_case

um.....I'm not gonna link the video. but it's easy enough to find in a Google search. be forewarned though.....it's some serious ass ouchies. And finish your Yoplait BEFORE you watch the clip.

:barf:

Nitro Express
05-12-2011, 05:51 AM
Yeah. The animal brothel was in Enumclaw.

fryingdutchman
05-12-2011, 09:37 AM
Well, judging from the other thread here in "Non" about how Florida seems to be the epicenter for most of the strange and outright fucking bizarre national headlines, perhaps banning all reproductive activity in the Sunshine State is not such a bad idea?

Click this Linky to the above referenced thread.... (http://www.rotharmy.com/forums/showthread.php?62298-The-quot-Only-In-Florida-quot-Police-Blotter-Living-Proof-That-Hell-Is-Other-People)

All in favor?

fryingdutchman
05-12-2011, 09:41 AM
There was also that guy that worked for Boeing or something in WA state. He would have sex with horses on occasion. Well, this one horse ...the guy put its cock in his ass like he normally would, but the horse gave a mighty thrust....FULL INSERTION all at once. Ruptured the guys innards and he died hours later from internal bleeding. Perforated colon.

Mr. Hands was the guys nickname.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Enumclaw_horse_sex_case

um.....I'm not gonna link the video. but it's easy enough to find in a Google search. be forewarned though.....it's some serious ass ouchies. And finish your Yoplait BEFORE you watch the clip.

:barf:

That's...

just...

fucking....

disturbing...

Nitro Express
05-12-2011, 11:05 AM
What's even more disturbing is we fly in airplanes made by a company these sickos work for. :biggrin:

sadaist
05-12-2011, 11:50 PM
That's...

just...

fucking....

disturbing...


And not because it's some guys drinking around a poker table trying to tell the grossest story. But because it is true....and on video as proof.

Would have been a good way to kill Bin laden though. :) Hell, just have the guys in Gitmo watch the video. I guarantee they'll spill any information they have after being warned of that. Death by horse is much much worse than some water up the nose.

ThrillsNSpills
05-14-2011, 02:46 PM
I thought it was too hot to fuck in Florida anyway.


Thanks for the horse visual. Cue the Mr. Ed theme for the movie.

Blaze
05-14-2011, 02:57 PM
It is a fact, everyone in America can be arrested, charged, and convicted to 2 years for a crime. I do not know what this crime is.

lesfunk
05-14-2011, 03:02 PM
Jesus

Hardrock69
05-14-2011, 11:51 PM
Jesus is a crime?

lesfunk
05-15-2011, 01:19 AM
Sorry, I was not paying attention to the thread. I had just seen the video of the guy getting fucked to death by a horse. I simply typed "jesus" cuz I was in shock...

Blaze
05-15-2011, 02:37 AM
It is good that you clarified. I thought Jesus was the crime of 2 years. ;)