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View Full Version : Atheists offer to rescue Christians’ pets after judgment day



Hardrock69
05-19-2011, 02:56 AM
http://www.rawstory.com/rs/2011/05/18/atheists-offer-to-rescue-christians-pets-after-judgment-day/



WASHINGTON — When judgment day comes -- which some US Christian fundamentalists insist will happen on Saturday -- have you thought about what you're going to do with the family dog and cat?

In 26 US states, you could have them rescued and adopted by enterprising atheists who have set up a business to care for the animal companions of any Christians who are selected to go to heaven when Jesus Christ comes back.

"You've committed your life to Jesus. You know you're saved. But when the Rapture comes, what's to become of your loving pets who are left behind?" Eternal Earth-Bound Pets says on its website, offering to "take that burden off your mind."

The post-doomsday pet rescue service already has 259 clients, who have paid $135 for the first pet and $20 for each additional pet at the same address, to ensure the faithful animal companions are looked after and loved even when their Christian owners have gone to the other side.

All the rescuers are sworn atheists, which means they will definitely be left behind on Earth, ready to rescue pets after the Rapture, which one US Christian fundamentalist group has penciled for Saturday.

When judgment day happens, Eternal Earth-Bound Pets co-founder Bart Centre "will notify all of our rescuers to go into action and they will drive to the homes of anyone who's signed a contract with us, pick up their pets and take them home and adopt them as their own, keeping them happy and healthy for the rest of their lives.

"This will happen only if and when the Rapture happens. So we do not expect to have to do anything on Saturday," Centre told AFP.
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Contracts are good for 10 years, just in case the Mayan calendar prophesy, which predicts the world will end in December next year, comes true.

Hardrock69
05-19-2011, 03:09 AM
http://washingtonexaminer.com/news/2011/05/end-world-how-about-party-instead

End of the world? How about a party instead?



For some, it's Judgment Day. For others, it's party time.

A loosely organized Christian movement has spread the word around the globe that Jesus Christ will return to earth on Saturday to gather the faithful into heaven. While the Christian mainstream isn't buying it, many other skeptics are milking it.

A Facebook page titled "Post rapture looting" offers this invitation: "When everyone is gone and god's not looking, we need to pick up some sweet stereo equipment and maybe some new furniture for the mansion we're going to squat in." By Wednesday afternoon, more than 175,000 people indicated they would be "attending" the "public event."

The prediction is also being mocked in the comic strip "Doonesbury" and has inspired "Rapture parties" to celebrate what hosts expect will be the failure of the world to come to an end.

In the Army town of Fayetteville, N.C., the local chapter of the American Humanist Association has turned the event into a two-day extravaganza, with a Saturday night party followed by a day-after concert.

"It's not meant to be insulting, but come on," said organizer Geri Weaver. "Christians are openly scoffing at this."

The prediction originates with Harold Camping, an 89-year-old retired civil engineer from Oakland, Calif., who founded Family Radio Worldwide, an independent ministry that has broadcast his prediction around the world.

The Rapture — the belief that Christ will bring the faithful into paradise prior to a period of tribulation on earth that precedes the end of time — is a relatively new notion compared to Christianity itself, and most Christians don't believe in it. And even believers rarely attempt to set a date for the event.

Camping's prophecy comes from numerological calculations based on his reading of the Bible, and he says global events like the 1948 founding of Israel confirm his math. But even some Christians who believe the Rapture will occur think he's wrong.

The Rev. Tim LaHaye, co-author of the "Left Behind" series of Christian prophecy novels, said Camping "trivializes the very serious study of Bible prophecy by ignoring Jesus' statement that everyone seems to know except him, and that is that no man knows the day nor the hour" that Jesus will return.

Camping has been derided for an earlier apocalyptic prediction in 1994, but his followers say that merely referred to the end of "the church age," a time when human beings in Christian churches could be saved. Now, they say, only those outside what they regard as irredeemably corrupt churches can expect to ascend to heaven.

Camping is not hedging this time: "Beyond the shadow of a doubt, May 21 will be the date of the Rapture and the day of judgment," he said in January.

Such predictions are nothing new, but Camping's latest has been publicized with exceptional vigor — not just by Family Radio but through like-minded groups. They've spread the word using radio, satellite TV, daily website updates, billboards, subway ads, RV caravans hitting dozens of cities and missionaries scattered from Latin America to Asia.

"These kinds of prophecies are constantly going on at a low level, and every once in a while one of them gets traction," said Richard Landes, a Boston University history professor who has studied such beliefs for more than 20 years.

The prediction has been publicized in almost every country, said Chris McCann, who works with eBible Fellowship, one of the groups spreading the message. "The only countries I don't feel too good about are the 'stans' — you know, Afghanistan, Uzbekistan, those countries in Central Asia," he said.

Marie Exley, who left her home in Colorado last year to join Family Radio's effort to publicize the message, just returned from a lengthy overseas trip that included stops in the Middle East. She said billboards have gone up in Israel, Jordan, Lebanon and Iraq.

"I decided to spend the last few days with my immediate family and fellow believers," Exley said. "Things started getting more risky in the Middle East when Judgment Day started making the news."

McCann plans to spend Saturday with his family, reading the Bible and praying. His fellowship met for the last time on Monday.

"We had a final lunch and everyone said goodbye," he said. "We don't actually know who's saved and who isn't, but we won't gather as a fellowship again."

In Vietnam, the prophecy has led to unrest involving thousands of members of the Hmong ethnic minority who gathered near the border with Laos earlier this month to await the May 21 event. The government, which has a long history of mistrust with ethnic hilltribe groups like the Hmong, arrested an unidentified number of "extremists" and dispersed a crowd of about 5,000.

No such signs of turmoil are apparent in the U.S., though many mainstream Christians aren't happy with the attention the prediction is getting. They reject the notion that a date for the end times can be calculated, if not the doctrine of the Rapture itself.

"When we engage in this kind of wild speculation, it's irresponsible," said the Rev. Daniel Akin, president of the Southeastern Baptist Seminary in Wake Forest, N.C. "It can do damage to naive believers who can be easily caught up and it runs the risk of causing the church to receive sort of a black eye."

Pastors around the country are planning Sunday sermons intended to illustrate the folly of trying to discern a date for the end of the world, but Akin couldn't wait: He preached on the topic last Sunday.

"I believe Christ could come today. I believe he could choose not to come for 1,000 years," he said. "That's in his hands, not mine."

No one will know for sure whether Camping's prediction is correct until Sunday morning dawns, or fails to dawn. In the meantime, there will be jokes, parties, sermons and — in at least one case— a chance to make a little money.

Bart Centre, an atheist from New Hampshire, started Eternal Earth-bound Pets in 2009. He offers Rapture believers an insurance plan for those furry family members that won't join them in heaven: 10-year pet care contracts, with Centre and his network of fellow non-believers taking responsibility for the animals after the Rapture. The fee — payable in advance, of course — was originally $110, but has gone to $135 since Camping's prediction.

Centre says he has 258 clients under contract, and that business has picked up considerably this year. But he's not worried about a sales slump if May 21 happens to disappoint believers.

"They never lose their faith. They're never disappointed," he said. "It reinforces their faith, strangely enough."

chefcraig
05-19-2011, 09:08 AM
When and if the rapture comes, I hereby volunteer to look after the Earth's marijuana crops, beer and whiskey distilleries, steak houses, pizzerias, porn starlets and amusement parks. Yes, it's a major undertaking, but somebody has to assume the responsibility.

Seshmeister
05-19-2011, 11:09 AM
Who would have known that Christian fundamentalists were gullible...?

Nitro Express
05-19-2011, 11:19 AM
When and if the rapture comes, I hereby volunteer to look after the Earth's marijuana crops, beer and whiskey distilleries, steak houses, pizzerias, porn starlets and amusement parks. Yes, it's a major undertaking, but somebody has to assume the responsibility.

Can I run the ski and beach resorts? I'm also a river guide so all of the worlds best white water I want access to.

Seshmeister
05-19-2011, 11:22 AM
If these fucknuts really believed they would be spending the next couple of days giving all their possessions away to the poor.

Nitro Express
05-19-2011, 11:23 AM
We can party like it's 1999 even though it's 2011.

Nitro Express
05-19-2011, 11:28 AM
If these fucknuts really believed they would be spending the next couple of days giving all their possessions away to the poor.

That would earn some Jesus goodwill points. You might get a better place in heaven if you did that.

SunisinuS
05-19-2011, 11:44 AM
When and if the rapture comes, I hereby volunteer to look after the Earth's marijuana crops, beer and whiskey distilleries, steak houses, pizzerias, porn starlets and amusement parks. Yes, it's a major undertaking, but somebody has to assume the responsibility.

Just let me be the Gilligan to your Skipper so we can crew the Minnow. I mean even Dave said 5 porn starlets was the most he could handle by himself.

Nitro Express
05-19-2011, 12:33 PM
Ah. But lets not forget the religious women who have dirty little secrets and will fail to be raptured. Party!

Jesus Christ
05-19-2011, 01:14 PM
My children, verily I say unto you - and as I hath said for the last 2000 years - that no man will know the day or the hour of My return, and that it's all on Dad's timetable.

I will say this much though.... He's gonna give Me at least a couple days notice on when this is all going down, and there's nothing on My calendar for May 21st except for the usual Sabbath day stuff. :jesuslol:

Nitro Express
05-19-2011, 01:25 PM
Well if it's really about Jesus's second cumming and not coming then it's already happened a long time ago when he was rubbing one out in the back of the carpenter shop to some dirty Roman coins. :wanker:

fifth element
05-19-2011, 02:37 PM
If these fucknuts really believed they would be spending the next couple of days giving all their possessions away to the poor.

or behaving better towards their fellow man....
possessions seem to take care of themselves in the end...

Nitro Express
05-19-2011, 03:22 PM
or behaving better towards their fellow man....
possessions seem to take care of themselves in the end...

The communists were atheists and killed tens of millions of people and spread plenty of pain and suffering themselves.

Seshmeister
05-19-2011, 04:48 PM
Not in the name of atheism.

Nitro Express
05-19-2011, 04:59 PM
Not in the name of atheism.

Both religion and communist dictatorships are ran by control freaks so neither one wants competition. The religions pretend to have a mutual exclusive franchise with God and the Communists make a fake utopia ideal a god goal. It all is pretty much the same damn thing just a different marketing plan.

I would say most atheist are actually agnostics because you can't prove there is no god either. So you actually have to have faith to be an atheist. An agnostic just is basically a person who admits. Fuck it hell I don't know where we came from and where are we going. I'm just going to live my life.

Unchainme
05-19-2011, 05:57 PM
There had better be beer in heaven.

That's all I'm asking for.

FORD
05-19-2011, 06:01 PM
If there wasn't, would it really be Heaven? :gulp:

On the other hand, I'm sure that the only thing on tap in Hell is warm light beer. :sick0020:

Unchainme
05-19-2011, 06:03 PM
If there wasn't, I sure wouldn't want to go there. :gulp:

On the other hand, I'm sure that the only thing on tap in Hell is warm light beer. :sick0020:

it'd be this crap too:

http://www.collegehappenings.com/wp-content/beer/NaturalLight.jpg

FORD
05-19-2011, 06:04 PM
If Jesus can change water into wine, I'm sure He can change it into a decent microbrew just as easily.

Unchainme
05-19-2011, 06:05 PM
If Jesus can change water into wine, I'm sure He can change it into a decent microbrew just as easily.

Is this leinenkugal stuff I keep saying advertised any good?

Have been really tempted to try it, but I just usually stick to old stand bys.

FORD
05-19-2011, 07:26 PM
Never tried it. I'm guessing it's a regional brand, and I've never seen it on the West Coast. How that distribution works in Heaven, I have no idea.

Unchainme
05-19-2011, 07:40 PM
Never tried it. I'm guessing it's a regional brand, and I've never seen it on the West Coast. How that distribution works in Heaven, I have no idea.

it's either buffalo (paging nickd) or milwaukee based. Type is called a summer shandy

lesfunk
05-19-2011, 07:43 PM
I was always looking forward to the end of the World. I want to have something cool to tell my grandchildren about.

fifth element
05-19-2011, 09:38 PM
or behaving better towards their fellow man....
possessions seem to take care of themselves in the end...



The communists were atheists and killed tens of millions of people and spread plenty of pain and suffering themselves.

huh?

or rather...what does what I posted have to do with what you did?

especially since the act of killing tens of millions of people would be a BIT counter to the idea of treating well your fellow man...

Unchainme
05-20-2011, 12:38 AM
I'm trying to remember back to my christian education up for k thru 8th about the end time

from what I recall..There should be mumblings to a one world gov't by now, and one Anti-Christ that's close to taking power.

Obama is not the Anti-Christ, he's not as charismatic to much of the masses out there, and clearly hasn't made any terrible "mark of the beast" like moves, nor does he have said mark. Barack Hussein Obama is also 5, 7, 6 words respectfully. Not even remotely close to the schizo "6-6-6" thing.

I personally always envisioned the anti-christ as being somewhat related to the church in one manner, or seeming very "miraculous" and "religious", thus able to fool a lot of people. Think David Karesh..but..actually able to pull off what he had in mind, and to the public, seemingly less bat shit insane.

also, per some quick research, Jerusalem would be one-big-giant apocalyptic warfare zone. Now, it's not exactly a place I'd go on vacation to, but, it's not like it's a scene out of Mad-Max. Now. This could change, Iran or Al Qaeda could go batshit and find a way to Nuke them as part of some Holy War, but for the time being, it's not looking likely.

I read somewhere as well that apparently this all kicked off in 1988, and something else significant happened in 1991. Um, in 1988, nothing really significant happened outside of the election of George Bush, and apparently some big drought. (also OU812 was released..and skycraper..but crappy music is not factoring into the equation). '91? Desert Storm, meh. I mean, it's significant in terms of it being the US's first major operation in the middle east, but it really isn't going to be mentioned in the annals of history next to WWII for example. Soviet Union collapses and the cold war is over, that maybe something, but it's kind of reaching there.

From what I can recall, this supposed time period is supposed to be pretty bad, and...it really hasn't. In the western world especially. There's been wars, but they've been minor in terms of what's happened during the course of human civilization. There's no real significant wars going on outside of pretty much the civilized world going up against a hillbillies in the middle-east over oil and religion, but the countries that actually matter have been pretty chill during this all.

Sesh is probably laughing his ass off at this all, and I can't say I blame him in a way.

Nitro Express
05-20-2011, 01:32 AM
There had better be beer in heaven.

That's all I'm asking for.

What? No sex? I kind of lean towards the muslim/mormon heaven thing. They don't need to be virgins. Experience is nice.

Nitro Express
05-20-2011, 01:40 AM
it's not exactly a place I'd go on vacation

You might want to reconsider.

Seshmeister
05-20-2011, 09:14 AM
https://fbcdn-sphotos-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-snc6/228040_10150193185299525_519064524_6778140_3326713 _n.jpg

FORD
05-20-2011, 03:31 PM
http://peasandcougars.files.wordpress.com/2011/05/will-you-be-raptured-flowchart1.jpg?w=800&h=600

PETE'S BROTHER
05-20-2011, 03:59 PM
:lmao:

Anonymous
05-20-2011, 04:17 PM
https://fbcdn-sphotos-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-snc6/228040_10150193185299525_519064524_6778140_3326713 _n.jpg

Because of that, I did a quick research for October 1992 & lookit what I found:

October 31 – Pope John Paul II issues an apology, and lifts the edict of the Inquisition against Galileo Galilei.

Whew. That must've been a relief for the guy, eh?

Cheers! :bottle:

fifth element
05-20-2011, 04:49 PM
I'm w/ Pete's bro....

:lmao:

binnie
05-20-2011, 06:39 PM
The idea of eternal life frightens me a little.

Unchainme
05-20-2011, 07:22 PM
Even the phelps church is kinda saying this is bunk

also, fwiw, there's supposed to be a big earthquake at 6 per this guys analysis.

PETE'S BROTHER
05-20-2011, 07:47 PM
it's either buffalo (paging nickd) or milwaukee based. Type is called a summer shandy

delicious, from chippewa falls, wi

PETE'S BROTHER
05-20-2011, 07:48 PM
they reintroed their norwoods lager this year, calling it "limited" i think, can't get it in az:(

Blaze
05-20-2011, 10:14 PM
The idea of eternal life frightens me a little.

Why? :confused11:


I could dig it, though I would prefer,maybe, just having an energy field as a body if it were eternity. However, there would be something I might miss if I lost a carnal body. But I am sure the kinetics of an astral being would be make up for the :hitch:

Romeo Delight
05-21-2011, 01:52 AM
If Jesus can change water into wine, I'm sure He can change it into a decent microbrew just as easily.

Ford...I drove by this place after drinking the beer the night before...

http://www.dicksbeer.com/

I swear they share the building with a hide tanning place or some metal shop, rofl.

It was not bad though

FORD
05-21-2011, 02:10 AM
Dicks Brewing Company makes some quality stuff. I've reviewed some of them in the Beercyclopedia (http://www.rotharmy.com/forums/showthread.php?10381-Return-of-the-FORD-Beercyclopedia-thread).

The Imperial Stout is excellent, and the IPA is damn good too :gulp:

Hardrock69
05-21-2011, 08:14 PM
Ok so it is after 6 PM and as far as I know, these Christian jackoffs are still here. :(

Too bad. I was hoping God would do the rest of us a favor and take these fucking idiots away so we would no longer have to listen to their hallucinatory bullshit! :lmao:

FORD
05-21-2011, 08:19 PM
Well, the "Reverend" Camping is based in California, so he probably meant 6:00 PM Pacific time. So we'll know in another 45 minutes or so.

Really hope it doesn't happen though. Who wants to rise up to Heaven in the rain?

Ironically, we had much more "Rapture friendly" weather the last 4 or 5 days. :(

Jesus Christ
05-21-2011, 09:21 PM
Good evening, My children....

As ye may know, the Son of Man usually does not post on the Sabbath, but in this instance, Dad and I thought I should make an exception.

Once again, My words in Matthew 24, that no man shall know the day or the hour of My return have been proven true.

And My message to Harold Camping, and others who have gained financially from this fraud......... :tongue0011:


Oh, and by the way, that whole "camel/eye of the needle thing" still applies too. So I expect to see that $700 million you raked in on this fiasco given to the poor immediately, lest thy next accomodation be at Lucifer's Lake of Fire beach resort. :jesuslol:

Enjoy the rest of thy weekend, kids. JC out.........

jhale667
05-21-2011, 09:42 PM
JC, not to presume to tell you what to do, but I think you should consider sending the Macho Man back to apprehend Harold Camping. Smite him just a tad? :wow2:

Hardrock69
05-22-2011, 04:39 AM
Now THAT is a good suggestion.

FUCK HAROLD CAMPING!

Fucking idiot retard blasphemy motherfucker!!!! :mad:

Sorry JC. Pet peeve......con men who take advantage of gullible people. I know you lose your temper once in awhile....like that day at the Temple with the money changers and all....:hee:

ashstralia
05-22-2011, 05:55 AM
i feel pity for these poor gullible retards who freely give their time and money to these fucking latter day snake oil salesmen. it's not as though they don't have the same access to knowledge or information that i do, or the logic to process it. but.... to me there's no difference between a christian fundamentalist and a muslim one.

Anonymous
05-22-2011, 06:32 AM
I feel absolutely NO pity for those retarded fucks who gave their money freely. It's your own fucking fault if you still believe in fairy tales when you should be a responsible adult.

And there is absolutely no difference between fundamentalists. You only feel that way because you're a christian & so you think that's the right thing to be. Just like a muslim.

Furthermore, the fact that these stupid cunts gave their life savings away only proves that if a leader arises that tells them to blow themselves up in crowded places, they will.

Religion is a fuckin' disease that should be wiped out.

As for those of you looking to blame that Camping guy, you're lookin' at the situation all wrong. If those people weren't so unbelievably retarded, he wouldn't have done anything. He'd've tried, but he wouldn't have beenable to pocket a penny.

So I say purge the human race from all those that believe in Donald Duck in the sky. That will solve the majority of everyone's problems.

Cheers! :bottle:

ashstralia
05-22-2011, 07:31 AM
oy vey, i'm christian now? the mohel will go meshugganah.

Anonymous
05-22-2011, 07:57 AM
Apparently, I misread the "no" in your post as "a" & I apologize for that.

I was agreeing with you while I thought I was disagreeing. You're absolutely right - every religious fanatic fuckstain is the same.

Any road, you believe in their god, don't you? It's just Jebus you don't believe in (conveniently).

So, it's all the same crap.

Cheers! :bottle:

ashstralia
05-22-2011, 08:26 AM
your apology is accepted mate. methinks, who gives a fuck what anybody chooses to believe, as long as it doesn't hurt the general populace. d'oh!

Anonymous
05-22-2011, 08:44 AM
your apology is accepted mate. methinks, who gives a fuck what anybody chooses to believe, as long as it doesn't hurt the general populace. d'oh!

Exactly. The problem is when those fuckbags feel that they must punish you for not believing in the same delusions they do.

So I say, kill 'me first before they kill us.

Cheers! :bottle:

Unchainme
05-22-2011, 12:04 PM
Donno

You can give money to a christian organization or a church, and it can go to a great cause if you so desire. Couple of the ones that come off my head, are ones that feed the elderly, some can go help the poor in other more under-developed countries around the world, helping many times with the education of those people.

and hell, I know of a place right in my neck of the woods that helps the homeless, drug addicted, etc, and has been VERY successful. Even a few professors of mine, who are admitted atheists, say they don't believe in God, but they have donated and supported this cause.

http://www.havenofrest.org/

Again, it really depends on what you're giving to. I'm sure even the most hardcore atheist could agree that at the very least some of the Christian Charities out there are doing good things.

chefcraig
05-22-2011, 01:02 PM
After a little bit of reckoning, the only people I know that might be missing are my next door neighbor (who works nights and just might be sleeping), and an uncle whose phone may or may not be disconnected. If everyone else has pretty much the same experience, mathematically that would mean that roughly 99% of the Earth's population was left behind during the so-called "rapture". Talk about an inefficient way of thinning the herd. Smooth move, Jesus.

Next up at the plate: The Mayans, Hopi Indians and a handful of other cultures who have either made predictions or simply left December 21, 2012 off of their calendars.

Party on! :bottle:

Nitro Express
05-22-2011, 03:02 PM
I think someone put LSD in the sacramental wine.

Blaze
05-22-2011, 04:33 PM
Well, if anyone died yesterday, it was their rapture and we all got left behind. Anyone want to go sailing?

Anonymous
05-22-2011, 09:01 PM
Next up at the plate: The Mayans, Hopi Indians and a handful of other cultures who have either made predictions or simply left December 21, 2012 off of their calendars.

Party on! :bottle:

I think I've said this before around here: me cellphone calendar only goes up to somewhere around 2097.

If, for some reason, it's dug up & it's still working in the 2080's, maybe late 90's, I bet it'll cause quite a stir... "Them Nokia tribe injuns predicted the world would end in 2097. We know this because they ended their calendar that year, when they could've gone for 2100."

What everyone fails to grasp is that either the Mayans or Nokia or whatever the fuck could've simply decided that a 1000 years, or maybe even a 100 would be enough for now & they'd add a few more dates when the calendar is starting to become obsolete.

What's with all this fixation with ending everything, anyway? Are people's lives so miserable that they actually feel glad that it will end someday?

Huh... yes, I think that about sums it up... so... 100,000, kill the rest & we'll start all over again. Sounds good?

Cheers! :bottle:

PETE'S BROTHER
05-23-2011, 01:27 PM
Robert Fitzpatrick, who spent $140,000 of his life savings to advertise the rapture in New York, said he was dumbfounded when life went on as usual Saturday.
"I do not understand why ...," he told Reuters while awaiting the event in Times Square. "I do not understand why nothing has happened."

:lmao:

Seshmeister
05-23-2011, 05:07 PM
App of the Week: The Rapture Detector
By Chris Gayomali on May 18, 2011

Read more: http://techland.time.com/2011/05/18/app-of-the-week-the-rapture-detector/#ixzz1NDCiJYuN

If those whacky radicals are right, and May 21st really will spell the end of the world as we know it (NewsFeed helped out with some of the number crunching), you're going to want to "live every moment like it's your last." I think Martin Luther King said that. So we should.

The inventors of the Rapture Detector (not to be confused with the more-famous Rapture Raptor, where you play as a post-apocalyptic doorknob-operating reptile that has to consume every human on Earth in order to survive), claims that they'll alert you 30 minutes before "The End" actually happens, granting you an ample window to run down to your local place of worship and repent until the walls come down.



Per the Rapture Detector's makers:
Sin, Lust and Fornication can be yours again! That's right, sin can be yours again with the right Reverend Billy Joe Estes, Holy Manifestation House of Worship Rapture Detector. That's right, you heard correctly; a Rapture Detector. Thirty minutes prior to the Rapture a blue LED light will go off on your iPhone, versions 3 and 4, iPad, Android Phone or Windows 7 Phone. And you will have 30 minutes to run down to your local preacher and be saved, Hallelujah on that!

For 99 cents, you'll get the alert service, an RSS-like aggregation feed that has all the latest "The World is Ending" news, and the peace of mind that comes with knowing that you'll be spending the afterlife unapologetically eating donut holes while sitting on a cloud (or whatever your vision of heaven is).


It's available for the iPhone, iPad, Android and Windows Phone 7. Sorry, BlackBerry users. I guess you can always set an alarm or something.

Seshmeister
05-24-2011, 12:00 AM

FORD
05-24-2011, 12:13 PM
Apparently Camping crawled out of his hole yesterday and is now claiming that May 21 was some sort of "invisible judgment" from God, and that the "real" Rapture won't be until October 21. I'm surprised he didn't attempt to use the tornado in Joplin Missouri to make his case.

One of Camping's Family Radio flunkies is going to be on Thom Hartmann's radio show this morning, so that should be interesting :biggrin:

Nitro Express
05-24-2011, 12:32 PM

Seshmeister
05-24-2011, 06:05 PM
Apparently Camping crawled out of his hole yesterday and is now claiming that May 21 was some sort of "invisible judgment" from God, and that the "real" Rapture won't be until October 21.

Ah but remember the story of the old man who cried rapture, the third time it was real. At least Van Halen will be back from Australia as it's the most dangerous place to be during a rapture day because of time zones. The rest of us can repent at leisure later in the day leaving the planet to the Aussies, Kiwis and a bunch of hardcore Taliban.

PETE'S BROTHER
05-24-2011, 07:16 PM
Ah but remember the story of the old man who cried rapture, the third time it was real. At least Van Halen will be back from Australia as it's the most dangerous place to be during a rapture day because of time zones. The rest of us can repent at leisure later in the day leaving the planet to the Aussies, Kiwis and a bunch of hardcore Taliban.

might stay till october 25th, just in case

Hardrock69
05-25-2011, 01:19 AM
Ok this time it is on a Friday. Suspicious that he keeps predicting this to happen on or around a weekend. Guess he is factoring all the peeps that will be throwing end-of-the-world bashes.

Fucking tool.

FORD
05-25-2011, 01:11 PM
http://i95.photobucket.com/albums/l123/bigredonenedm/velocirapture.png

PETE'S BROTHER
05-25-2011, 01:17 PM
:lmao:

Hardrock69
05-25-2011, 02:37 PM
:lmao:

PETE'S BROTHER
06-13-2011, 12:17 PM
so, it was a "rupture".

Last Thursday, the elderly pastor and Family Radio host best known for birthing an all-consuming "May 21st" rapture meme suffered a stroke and was hospitalized. The Oakland Tribune reported that the 89-year-old Harold Camping's voice "may never be the same" after suffering a stroke that left his speech "a little bit slurred" according to a unnamed neighbor.

Hardrock69
06-13-2011, 03:47 PM
Yeah...guess he is going to disappear from Earth this year. :lmao:

Seshmeister
06-13-2011, 05:04 PM
I think the whole thing was a practical joke.

Otherwise why did they have someone taking a shit on the posters???

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/9/97/Judgment_Day_21_May_2011_%28English%29.jpg/800px-Judgment_Day_21_May_2011_%28English%29.jpg

sadaist
06-13-2011, 05:34 PM
http://i95.photobucket.com/albums/l123/bigredonenedm/velocirapture.png

:):biggrin::hee: :lmao:

SunisinuS
06-13-2011, 08:47 PM
Ah but remember the story of the old man who cried rapture, the third time it was real. At least Van Halen will be back from Australia as it's the most dangerous place to be during a rapture day because of time zones. The rest of us can repent at leisure later in the day leaving the planet to the Aussies, Kiwis and a bunch of hardcore Taliban.


I do believe Seshmeister is a Time Lord.

clarathecarrot
06-13-2011, 09:06 PM
Is it ok to fornicate again ?

BITEYOASS
06-13-2011, 09:14 PM
so, it was a "rupture".

Last Thursday, the elderly pastor and Family Radio host best known for birthing an all-consuming "May 21st" rapture meme suffered a stroke and was hospitalized. The Oakland Tribune reported that the 89-year-old Harold Camping's voice "may never be the same" after suffering a stroke that left his speech "a little bit slurred" according to a unnamed neighbor.

Did someone say stroke?


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P7gMkiOPSeA

PETE'S BROTHER
06-14-2011, 10:42 AM
Is it ok to fornicate again ?

yup :baaa:

Diamondjimi
06-14-2011, 01:17 PM
http://l.yimg.com/bt/api/res/1.2/UyA3xpdO6EXqP3nXNYbElA--/YXBwaWQ9eW5ld3M7Zmk9aW5zZXQ7aD0zNDI7cT04NTt3PTUxMg--/http://media.zenfs.com/en_ca/News/Capress/NY123-523_2011_175328_high.jpg

SAN FRANCISCO - The California radio preacher who predicted the world would end last month was recuperating Monday after suffering a mild stroke, his family and colleagues said.

Doctors have been monitoring the progress of 89-year-old radio host Harold Camping since he was taken by ambulance from his Alameda home on Thursday.

"He is presently recuperating in a local hospital and the doctors are pleased with his progress," Family Radio's special projects co-ordinator Michael Garcia said. "Mr. Camping's family appreciates your thoughts and prayers."

Camping's daughter, Susan Espinoza, said her father was recovering but had not been doing his regular live broadcasts from the threadbare headquarters of Family Radio International, near the Oakland airport.

"He's doing quite well," said Espinoza, who works at her father's network. "We haven't made a decision on what will happen with the radio broadcasts, but for now they are playing recorded programs."

Camping's media empire spent millions of dollars— some of it from donations made by followers — publicizing the evangelist's Rapture prediction over the past seven years.

When the apocalypse failed to occur on May 21, Camping was widely mocked and he called it "a very difficult time."

He has since insisted that his prediction was overall correct. On May 24 he clarified that a "spiritual" Judgment Day had begun three days earlier, placing the entire world under Christ's judgment, and said the Earth actually would be obliterated on Oct. 21.
LINK (http://ca.news.yahoo.com/california-radio-preacher-erroneously-predicted-rapture-last-month-145359320.html)
Ain't Karma a bitch? :lol:

PETE'S BROTHER
06-14-2011, 01:27 PM
old news :tongue0011:

http://www.rotharmy.com/forums/showthread.php?62408-Atheists-offer-to-rescue-Christians%92-pets-after-judgment-day&p=1546611&viewfull=1#post1546611

fifth element
06-14-2011, 03:08 PM
I do believe Seshmeister is a Time Lord.


eeks....Whatever you do...Don'T BLinK!