View Full Version : Haha...fucking idiot banks....

06-20-2011, 09:26 PM
Ok so I am dealing with some financial difficulties (aren't we all).

I made arrangements to pay off a Visa card I have with a major international banking conglomerate.
I made those arrangements last week.

However I still come home each day to find half a dozen strange messages on my answering machine.

A typical example:

"Hello?....................................Hello?.. .................................Hello???......... ...............Hello?"


So this happened about 15 minutes ago while I was eating dinner. I refuse to interrupt my dinner to answer the phone. That is what my electronic slave.....I mean....my answering machine is for.

So after I am done eating I go look at caller ID.

It gives me the phone number, and the name of the huge, multinational, faceless ass-raper of millions.

I call back. After going through the usual bullshit with the automated asshole robot motherfucker, it tells me it is going to transfer me to the next available customer service representative.

Then it tells me "Your call may be recorded for quality assurance purposes".

CSR: (Customer Service Rep) "Hello can I have the last four numbers of your account please.

Me: Sure, but I am first going to inform you that this call may be recorded for quality assurance purposes.

CSR: I'm sorry but I must ask you not to record this call, as we do not allow our calls to be recorded.

Me: I don't care if you allow it or not. I DO allow my phone calls to be recorded.

CSR: I must ask you to shut off your recording device....

Me: No. And I am asking you to shut off YOUR recording device.

CSR: We record all our calls for quality assurance purposes.

Me: I record all my calls for quality assurance purposes.

CSR: We cannot help you unless you stop recording this call. We do not allow calls to be recorded.

Me: Oh, so you are not recording this call?

CSR: Would you like to speak to a manager?

Me: I don't see how that is going to change anything, but if it makes you feel all warm and fuzzy inside, by all means, ask your manager how I can help you guys.

***5 minutes of mindless Muzak***

CSR2: Hello sir, I am a senior CSR. How may I help you?

Me: That is what I want to know from you. How may I help you?

CSR2: We cannot help you unless you shut off your recording device. We do not allow it.

Me: That is irrelevant. I allow it. And it is legal for me to tape my phone calls. And I am asking YOU to shut off YOUR recording device.

CSR2: We record all our calls for quality assurance purposes.

Me: I record all my calls for quality assurance purposes.

CSR2: You are not a business.

Me: How does that matter? I am not required to be a business in order to record my phone calls. All it requires is that I press the record button.

CSR2: We cannot help you unless you stop recording this call.

Me: I don't want your help. You want mine. Otherwise you would not be calling my home half a dozen times a day, and leaving irrational messages consisting of a single word, repeated endlessly before hanging up! So tell me, how may I assist you today?

CSR2: We want to help you.

Me: Ok if that is true then shut off your recording device.

CSR2: Sir, if you do not stop recording this call I am going to hang up the phone.

Me: Ok, so if you are going to do that, why are you going to call me back in awhile? You obviously need my help with something. So how may I help you? Why do you keep bothering me?

CSR2: I can give you an address to write to so we will not call you anymore.

Me: I do not need to write to an address to have you stop calling me. I just tell you (like I am doing right now): DO NOT CALL ME ANYMORE.

CSR2: Is there anything else I can help you with?

Me: You can stop calling me to ask for my assistance.

CSR2: Ok thank you very much sir, have a good day....


After doing some research on the net, I have found other people who have commented on the fact that banks think it is perfectly fine to record their phone calls, but they freak out if anyone else records their phone calls.

Buncha fucking idiots.

I do not need their permission to record my calls, lol.

Besides, in this state, permission to record the call is required only from one party, not both.

So they have no choice in the matter.

SO....if any of you people want to play games with your bank, call them up and when you get a human on the line, tell them you are recording the call for quality assurance purposes, and let the fun begin! :hee:

Now if I REALLY wanted to get them to stop, all I have to do is record the following wave file onto the greeting message of my machine:



The three-part tone is called an SIT Tone (special information tone).

If you put it at the beginning of your voicemail or answering machine message, most robodialers will recognize it and report your number as having been disconnected, and they will not call anymore.

Oh well. So much for dealing with idiot CSRs at banks.:biggrin:

06-20-2011, 10:10 PM
It's gradually got worse and worse over the last 20 years so that now you have absolutely no meaningful relationship with your bank.

It's irrelevant whether you have had an account with them for 30 years or 30 days. Half the time when I go into the branch they try and sell me over priced insurance or some shit that you don't need or want.

Fuck 'em and you are quite right to play them at their own game. They pretty much only offer you money when you don't need it anyway especially if you are running a business.

06-20-2011, 10:29 PM
Where I work we get calls all day long from all kinds of banks, financial firms, and con artists wanting to loan us money to buy industrial equipment with.

LOANING MONEY is the way to get rich. You think auto dealerships make a profit by selling cars? FUCK NO! They make most of their money by financing them!