Which brand of toilet paper do you use to wipe your ass with?

[Little Texan]

Furthermore, how many squares do you use to wipe each time?

[DONNIEP]

Finally, a thread I can get excited about. I prefer Charmin with aloe or Angel Soft. Normally I rip off about a foot and a half at a time because I like to have a good handful when it's time to go to work, plus I just like being wasteful. Fuck the trees and the environment. When I take a megashit I want the softest, most environmentally unsound TP around.

[lesfunk]

Scotts Industrial strength... and as much as I can without clogging the shitter

[DONNIEP]

The worst TP is the stuff in hotels. For the love of God, you have to use half a roll just for one wipe!!! And that just ain't no fun when you've got a Tijuana Mama shit on deck.

[gbranton]

The worst TP is the stuff in hotels.

Rambo toilet paper. Rough and tough and doesn't take any shit off of anyone.

[gbranton]

Toilet paper and the USS Enterprise: both circle Uranus looking for Klingons.

[DONNIEP]

Rambo toilet paper. Rough and tough and doesn't take any shit off of anyone.

There are times when you need a little extra gription to get the job done.

If Envy was here she'd want to know if you prefer scented or unscented toilet paper. And did you know that in Sweden guys wipe each other's asses - but according to Envy that doesn't mean they're gay :biggrin:

[Little Texan]

Rambo toilet paper. Rough and tough and doesn't take any shit off of anyone.

I've always called that John Wayne toilet paper.

Anyway, I used to have a roll of this a few years back that I used when I was working way out in the sticks and needed to take a dump.

http://0.tqn.com/d/politicalhumor/1/0/g/H/osama_tp.jpg

For the record, name brand toilet paper has gotten way too expensive in recent years, so I now use Kroger Value Brand toilet paper because it's the cheapest and it's just the right texture and thickness, IMO.

[gbranton]

If Envy was here she'd want to know if you prefer scented or unscented toilet paper.

You left out what color, even though the ink used in the flower prints probably causes ass cancer.

[DONNIEP]

Anyway, I used to have a roll of this a few years back that I used when I was working way out in the sticks and needed to take a dump.

http://0.tqn.com/d/politicalhumor/1/0/g/H/osama_tp.jpg

See, that TP won't fly in today's America. But I follow the 10 commandments of spec war and in the words of the mighty Dick Marcinko, "thou shalt kill thine enemy by any means available before he killeth you." Amen and fuck 'em all.

[FORD]

I don't have a favorite brand of toilet paper..... just try to avoid anything made by the KKKoch Brothers (Georgia Pacific)

[Yount]

I use an old bed sheet that I wash once a fortnight when I can be stuffed. It's totally cool because it doesn't waste paper.

[ashstralia]

I like the black and gold single ply. Buck a roll, thousand sheets; oy vey! Great value.

Come on Swedish spice, which do you waft over your delicate doidy*?

*doidy=aussie for ringpiece. Chocolate starfish.

[envy_me]

I like the black and gold single ply. Buck a roll, thousand sheets; oy vey! Great value.

Come on Swedish spice, which do you waft over your delicate doidy*?

*doidy=aussie for ringpiece. Chocolate starfish.

The thing is as some of you might know, I am vegetarian. So when I go to the toilet only flowers and rainbows come out. There is no need to wipe anything :D

[fourthcoming]

If ever a thread belonged in the "DUMP" this is it.......cue the rimshot please......

[DONNIEP]

If ever a thread belonged in the "DUMP" this is it.......cue the rimshot please......

But it's the perfect thread to read whilst one is taking an early morning megashit :biggrin:

[ashstralia]

The thing is as some of you might know, I am vegetarian. So when I go to the toilet only flowers and rainbows come out. There is no need to wipe anything :D


Come on, you wouldn't soil those frilly silky Victoria's secret undies with even a hint of bottom burp.

You didn't answer the question. :)

[Nickdfresh]

I like Target™ brand actually. Because it's like the old school Quilted Northern recipe. Nice sturdy paper that doesn't break on your hands, yet contains no silly perfumes with a weird linty, pasty effect...

[Nickdfresh]

There are times when you need a little extra gription to get the job done.

If Envy was here she'd want to know if you prefer scented or unscented toilet paper. And did you know that in Sweden guys wipe each other's asses - but according to Envy that doesn't mean they're gay :biggrin:

I bet Envy_Me's bowel movements could be considered a WMD...

[Nickdfresh]

The thing is as some of you might know, I am vegetarian. So when I go to the toilet only flowers and rainbows come out. There is no need to wipe anything :D

Who you kiddin'? Those are the worst...

[chefcraig]

I dunno about the rest of you, but on certain Sunday or Monday mornings after a previous evening of wanton and conscience-free debauchery, no matter what brand is on the roll, it pretty much feels like this...


http://i113.photobucket.com/albums/n223/cprozeller1888/sandpaper2.jpg

http://freesmileyface.net/smiley/surprise/surprised-033.gif (http://freesmileyface.net)

[binnie]

The thing is as some of you might know, I am vegetarian. So when I go to the toilet only flowers and rainbows come out. There is no need to wipe anything :D

If the 'coch talk' thread is anything to go by, its seems that there is one type of meat which you certainly have an appetite for. :D

[chefcraig]

I like Target™ brand actually. Because it's like the old school Quilted Northern recipe. Nice sturdy paper that doesn't break on your hands, yet contains no silly perfumes with a weird linty, pasty effect...

Not for nuthin' Nick, but your new sig image really made my day. I can't take my eyes off it, in a "deer-in-the-headlights/lava lamp-yet horny as all things-unholy-batshit" sort of way.


:winkglasses:

Well done, sir. :appl:

[private parts]

I dunno about the rest of you, but on certain Sunday or Monday mornings after a previous evening of wanton and conscience-free debauchery, no matter what brand is on the roll, it pretty much feels like this...


http://i113.photobucket.com/albums/n223/cprozeller1888/sandpaper2.jpg

http://freesmileyface.net/smiley/surprise/surprised-033.gif (http://freesmileyface.net)

John Wayne brand toilet paper... Tough as hell and won't take shit off no one!:biggrin:

Humm...came in a little late on the one. Well hell.

[Nickdfresh]

Not for nuthin' Nick, but your new sig image really made my day. I can't take my eyes off it, in a "deer-in-the-headlights/lava lamp-yet horny as all things-unholy-batshit" sort of way.


:winkglasses:

Well done, sir. :appl:

I market tested my sig diligently to insure she was at least 15% hotter than Doc Love's hot hula girl...

[lesfunk]

I don't have a favorite brand of toilet paper..... just try to avoid anything made by the KKKoch Brothers (Georgia Pacific)

Leave it up to FORD to politicize bum wipe!

[PETE'S BROTHER]

so that's what that roll next to the shitter is for....

[envy_me]

Come on, you wouldn't soil those frilly silky Victoria's secret undies with even a hint of bottom burp.

You didn't answer the question. :)

Haha, I don't know... I never think about it. I just buy whatever looks appealing that particular day.

[FORD]

Leave it up to FORD to politicize bum wipe!

Hey, I never told those asswipes to buy Georgia Pacific. But since they did, I will no longer buy those products. As much as I would love to say I wipe my ass with the KKKoch Brothers, I just can't help finance this country's destruction.

[Nitro Express]

I use a Craftsman belt sander.

[gbranton]

Right now I don't use anything. It is 3:32 AM, I should be asleep but I can't because I feel I need to shit and can't. :banghead::banghead::banghead:

[PETE'S BROTHER]

:silly:

[PETE'S BROTHER]

http://www.rotharmy.com/forums/showthread.php?66300-rock-stars-drinking&p=1691578&viewfull=1#post1691578

[Nickdfresh]

Seriously, it's really time to hit Target today, my roll looks like this:

http://us.123rf.com/400wm/400/400/jirkaejc/jirkaejc1001/jirkaejc100100366/6273997-running-out-roll-of-toilet-paper-on-black-background.jpg

Am I the only one who keeps a strategic reserve quarter role?

[Sensible Shoes]

I want a toilet paper that gets you clean....but....you know ....*keeps* you clean. Enjoy the go.

[DONNIEP]

Seriously, it's really time to hit Target today, my roll looks like this:

http://us.123rf.com/400wm/400/400/jirkaejc/jirkaejc1001/jirkaejc100100366/6273997-running-out-roll-of-toilet-paper-on-black-background.jpg

Am I the only one who keeps a strategic reserve quarter role?

I keep a four pack of the really cheap stuff in the closet in my bathroom just in case I run out. There's nothing worse than having to run to the store for a roll of TP when you're hung over and about to shit yourself. But if you absolutely cant hold back the brown flood there's always paper towels handy.

[ZahZoo]

I keep a four pack of the really cheap stuff in the closet in my bathroom just in case I run out. There's nothing worse than having to run to the store for a roll of TP when you're hung over and about to shit yourself. But if you absolutely cant hold back the brown flood there's always paper towels handy.

Old phone books or newspapers will do the job...

Back in the old days... the Sears catalog wasn't in the out-house just for reading and dreaming.

[Little Texan]

Seriously, it's really time to hit Target today, my roll looks like this:

http://us.123rf.com/400wm/400/400/jirkaejc/jirkaejc1001/jirkaejc100100366/6273997-running-out-roll-of-toilet-paper-on-black-background.jpg

Am I the only one who keeps a strategic reserve quarter role?

Mine looks like this:

http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-077MEczCl7Q/T0QGOa2HF6I/AAAAAAAADCk/8MHgLhY070I/s1600/empty_toilet_roll.jpg

[Nitro Express]

Not if you have one of those Japanese toilets with the built in bidet that cleans your ass.

[Angel]

Not if you have one of those Japanese toilets with the built in bidet that cleans your ass.


I need one of those. Been sick the last two days...

[Nickdfresh]

The Target stuff is no longer as soft and supple as it used to be. :(

[Coyote]

The cheap stuff.

[Nickdfresh]

But it really wasn't cheap. As I said here, I liked it basically because is was like the old Quilted Northern TP, before they made it all pasty and perfumey like all other stuff...

[Coyote]

I was talking about my own preferences, but let's roll with that... (no pun intended)

[Angel]

Finished my last roll about an hour ago...thank God for kleenex purse packs!!! Too freaking sick to drive to the store to re-stock. One NASTY bug going around here right now.

[WARF]

I use about 3 feet to cover the seat first...... and when it runs out I don't restock... I use my hands to wipe and then shower my ass with soap!

[Angel]

I use about 3 feet to cover the seat first...... and when it runs out I don't restock... I use my hands to wipe and then shower my ass with soap!

Warfy baby! How's it hanging man???

[Yount]

sandy


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xpC1vAlBULg

[envy_me]

I use about 3 feet to cover the seat first...... and when it runs out I don't restock... I use my hands to wipe and then shower my ass with soap!

I like the fact that you are enough germ conscious to cover the seat, but then wipe it with the hand :D Lol, just use the left one like the romans.

[Angel]

I like the fact that you are enough germ conscious to cover the seat, but then wipe it with the hand :D Lol, just use the left one like the romans.

When my bro lived in Saudi, he always held the paper in his right hand, which is a "no-no". He took great pride in thinking to himself "I wiped my ass with that hand" whenever he had to shake hands with a Saud. :)

[envy_me]

When my bro lived in Saudi, he always held the paper in his right hand, which is a "no-no". He took great pride in thinking to himself "I wiped my ass with that hand" whenever he had to shake hands with a Saud. :)

Lol. Too bad he used paper then.

[Sensible Shoes]

I use about 3 feet to cover the seat first...... and when it runs out I don't restock... I use my hands to wipe and then shower my ass with soap!

It's WARF

[Nickdfresh]

Oh thank God for absorbent tissue!