The Queen James Bible

[FORD]

http://queenjamesbible.com/wp-content/uploads/queen-james-gay-bible.jpg


Homosexuality in The Bible

Homosexuality was first mentioned in the Bible in 1946 in the Revised Standard Version. There is no mention of or reference to homosexuality in any Bible prior to this – only interpretations have been made. Anti-LGBT Bible interpretations commonly cite only eight verses in the Bible that they interpret to mean homosexuality is a sin; Eight verses in a book of thousands!

The Queen James Bible seeks to resolve interpretive ambiguity in the Bible as it pertains to homosexuality: We edited those eight verses in a way that makes homophobic interpretations impossible.

Who is Queen James?

The King James Bible is the most popular Bible of all time, and arguably the most important English language document of all time. The brainchild and namesake of King James I, who wanted an English language Bible that all could own and read, it has been in print for over 400 years and has brought more people to Christ than any other Bible translation. Commonly known to biographers but often surprising to most Christians, King James I was a well-known bisexual. Though he did marry a woman, his many gay relationships were so well-known that amongst some of his friends and court, he was known as “Queen James.” It is in his great debt and honor that we name The Queen James Bible so.

A Fabulous Bible

The QJB is a big, fabulous Bible. It is printed and bound in the United States on thick, high-quality paper in a beautiful, readable typeface. It is the perfect Bible for ceremony, study, sermon, gift-giving, or simply to put on display in the home or Church.

You can’t choose your sexuality, but you can choose Jesus. Now you can choose a Bible, too.

Somebody should send a case of these to the Westboro Batshit Church :biggrin:

http://queenjamesbible.com/

[ashstralia]

Somebody should send a case of these to the Westboro Batshit Church :biggrin:


excellent idea!! :biggrin: oh, and one for elvis.

[Hardrock69]

:lmao:

[ELVIS]

Is Genesis changed to Adam and Steve ??

I don't imagine God is amused by all of this...

[ashstralia]

you don't imagine an imagination is amused??? :D

imaginary guitar notes that only exist in the imagination of the imaginer...FZ

[LoungeMachine]

Is Genesis changed to Adam and Steve ??

I don't imagine God is amused by all of this...



"God" must have a sense of humor....

Just look at the Aardvark.......and Krusty

:gulp:

[ELVIS]

I doubt he laughs at twisting his words...

[LoungeMachine]

I doubt he laughs at twisting his words...

They're not "His" words....

They're words of old men who lived 2,000 years ago

:gulp:

[ashstralia]

They're not "His" words....

They're words of old men who lived 2,000 years ago

:gulp:

where's sesh?? :D

[LoungeMachine]

where's sesh?? :D

Drunk somewhere.

:gulp:

Pure speculation on my part, but who wants odds?

[ELVIS]

They're not "His" words....

They're words of old men who lived 2,000 years ago

:gulp:

Well, I believe they're His...

[sadaist]

The christian god says you can kill, torture, rape, steal....and still get into his heaven if you seek his forgiveness & accept jesus as your savior.....


...but he isn't going to let in 2 consenting men who had sex with each other?

[LoungeMachine]

The christian god says you can kill, torture, rape, steal....and still get into his heaven if you seek his forgiveness & accept jesus as your savior.....


...but he isn't going to let in 2 consenting men who had sex with each other?


And owning slaves....

Let's not forget that little detail.

:gulp:

Just don't use his name in vain.........

[ELVIS]

That's all missing the point...

[LoungeMachine]

That's all missing the point...

Ok.

Teach us.

:gulp:

What point did we miss?

[cadaverdog]

I predict some of you are destined to end up somewhere everybody's wishing for some ice water.

[LoungeMachine]

I predict some of you are destined to end up somewhere everybody's wishing for some ice water.

At the bar?

:gulp:

Yeah, we're there already, fucker of socks.

[cadaverdog]

At the bar?

:gulp:

Yeah, we're there already, fucker of socks.
You're there Rockstar. I moved back to LA.

[Hardrock69]

Naaah. If anything we will be hanging out in London at a nightclub called The Inferno hoisting brew before a Van Halen concert in 2013.....

Lemme guess.....E is gonna start going on about "ya haveta BELIEVE in fairy tales".......

Ok....I believe the Bible has some historical fact, some standard human philosophical rubbish that exists in every culture known to man, AND some fairly tale bullshit that belongs right in a book written by some dude named Grimm.

Nobody is forcing anyone to "believe" anything, and nobody is gonna go to hell simply because their fairy tales are different or non-existent.

Those assholes who think people who do not believe in this Jesus dude are going to burn in Hell, do not understand that Hell was not in the original gospels or Old Testament writings. You have occasional oblique references to committing unnatural acts, or dealing with evil or whatever.

In the Old Testament, there was no mention of a place called "Hell" in Hebrew.

There was a word used 64 times in the OT....SHEOL....which actually only means "the place or state of the dead, without regard to punishment, reward or judgement".

So as usual, the Christians have made up some fairy tale fucking rubbish about "Hell" and "Judgement", etc.
The Catholic Church had to have some kind of boogeyman to scare their ignorant flock out of a year's worth of earnings.

Not only that, Muslims and Christians worship (and always did worship) the Jewish god! So there is only one big religion! Not "3" like everyone seems to think.


Here is a great one.

Let's see if the fucking Christians can answer this one:

Why did the God of Moses need the permission of Pharoah to free the Jews?

If God was all mighty and all powerful, he coulda just freed them and been done with it.

Of course, they were not Jews back then....they were Egyptians or Hyksos....but that is beside the point.


Why does God require the permission of Pharaoh to free the Jews?

Was Moses an effeminate submissive who wanted to have some reason to get on his knees and beg Pharaoh for something???

And for you illiterate cretins, here is a good comic-book image, so you can easily understand:
http://i45.tinypic.com/xp93k4.jpg

[LoungeMachine]

You're there Rockstar. I moved back to LA.

LA?

:gulp:

You don't live in "LA" sockfucker

[ashstralia]

eggzactly.

and why isn't the flying spaghetti monster afforded it's (not HIS, it's genderless) rightful props?

it doesn't have a book which millions of people have interpreted to mean the killing and oppression of millions of other people.

i saw the louis theroux show about the westboro people recently; seriously it makes all you right wing god botherers look like the complete fucking retards that you are. fuckfuckityfuckfuckfuck!!!

[cadaverdog]

LA?

:gulp:

You don't live in "LA" sockfucker
Last time I checked Van Nuys was in L A county. I might not be in the city of L A but I'm in L A none the less.Dickface.

[BigBadBrian]

Is Genesis changed to Adam and Steve ??

I don't imagine God is amused by all of this...

I warn everyone who hears the words of the prophecy of this book: if anyone adds to them, God will add to him the plagues described in this book, 19 and if anyone takes away from the words of the book of this prophecy, God will take away his share in the tree of life and in the holy city, which are described in this book. Revelation 22:18-19

[BigBadBrian]

They're not "His" words....

They're words of old men who lived 2,000 years ago

:gulp:

They are the inerrant, inspired Words of God! :fighting0056:

[BigBadBrian]

The christian god says you can kill, torture, rape, steal....and still get into his heaven if you seek his forgiveness & accept jesus as your savior.....


...but he isn't going to let in 2 consenting men who had sex with each other?

9 Or do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: neither the sexually immoral, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor men who practice homosexuality, 10 nor thieves, nor the greedy, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God. 11 And such were some of you. But you were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God.
1 Corinthians 6:9-10

Homosexuals MUST turn from their evil, wicked, perverted ways to gain entrance into the Kingdom of God. It's the only way.

[ashstralia]

what a load of bullshit.

i think the jesus thing can be summed up in two;

1) help your neighbour
2) don't be a cunt
i think you may struggle with one of these E

[vandeleur]

Don't be a cunt .... Snort :biggrin:

[Blaze]

https://sphotos-a.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-prn1/154407_10151370823275638_592270103_n.jpg

[Seshmeister]

i warn everyone who hears the words of the prophecy of this book: If anyone adds to them, god will add to him the plagues described in this book, 19 and if anyone takes away from the words of the book of this prophecy, god will take away his share in the tree of life and in the holy city, which are described in this book. Revelation 22:18-19

lol!!!

[BigBadBrian]

lol!!!

A nervous laugh, obviously.

[ELVIS]

:elvis:

[ZahZoo]

9 Or do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God?

Inherit..?

Why do I get the feeling their fiscal deficit makes ours look like pocket change..? Or was that mental deficit...

[Nickdfresh]

Is Genesis changed to Adam and Steve ??

I don't imagine God is amused by all of this...

It's just a bullshit myth, anyways...

[Nickdfresh]

And owning slaves....

Let's not forget that little detail.

:gulp:

Just don't use his name in vain.........

And whoring out your daughters...

[FORD]

The part about an old man turning rabid grizzly bears loose on kids because they laughed at his baldness was pretty cool too.


2 Kings 2:23-24

King James Version (KJV)

23 And he went up from thence unto Bethel: and as he was going up by the way, there came forth little children out of the city, and mocked him, and said unto him, Go up, thou bald head; go up, thou bald head.

24 And he turned back, and looked on them, and cursed them in the name of the Lord. And there came forth two she bears out of the wood, and tare forty and two children of them.

[ELVIS]

It's just a bullshit myth, anyways...

That's fine for you to think, but why don't liberals protect a Christian's choice to believe otherwise when they claim to protect everything else under the sun ??

[Nickdfresh]

That's fine for you to think, but why don't liberals protect a Christian's choice to believe otherwise when they claim to protect everything else under the sun ??

I'm pretty sure liberals do protect everyones' right to believe whatever they want. That's what the Constitution is about...

[ELVIS]

Dickforbrains quote:

"I'm pretty sure liberals do protect everyones' right to believe whatever they want."

I don't know about that...


:elvis:

[jhale667]

That's fine for you to think, but why don't liberals protect a Christian's choice to believe otherwise when they claim to protect everything else under the sun ??

Your choices are protected. The problem is you try to force your choices on everyone else, that's when the smackdown is (correctly) applied.

[ELVIS]

I don't, maybe some other Christians do...

I don't care what anyone else does as long as they don't push it on me, and vice versa...

[jhale667]

I don't, maybe some other Christians do...

I don't care what anyone else does as long as they don't push it on me, and vice versa...

Oh, come on. MOST do. You guys are always screaming for YOUR version of "god" to be taught in schools - that and bullshit like "intelligent design", and is listed as a reason against socila/racial/marriage equality... most Christians think their ideals trump everyone else's. They don't.

[ELVIS]

I think it should be included, sure...

[FORD]

I don't, maybe some other Christians do...

I don't care what anyone else does as long as they don't push it on me, and vice versa...

Do you oppose marriage equality laws, or not?

[jhale667]

No, it shouldn't. It's ridiculous. But that's an entirely different thread.

[Nickdfresh]

...[/i]

I don't know about that...


:elvis:

You don't know much of anything, because you're a gullible retard and a poster child on why bullshit "charismatic" Christianity is not only useless, but it may actually be a more negative influence on you than booze was...

[ELVIS]

Do you oppose marriage equality laws, or not?

For a legal marriage license, I think that might be best handled on a state by state basis and let the people decide...

[ELVIS]

You don't know much of anything, because you're a gullible retard and a poster child on why bullshit "charismatic" Christianity is not only useless, but it may actually be a more negative influence on you than booze was...

You're a retard, dude...

You obviously just don't get and I guess you never will...

And the Bible speaks of people like you...

Hear this, you foolish and senseless people, who have eyes but do not see, who have ears but do not hear...

Jeremiah 5:21

[jhale667]

For a legal marriage license, I think that might be best handled on a state by state basis and let the people decide...


The "state by state" argument is ridiculous. Why would you allow marriage equality in one state, but not all? What about interstate commerce? What about when said couples move to one of the states you think should be allowed to remain ass-backwardly wrong on the issue, suddenly their union is null and void? That's stupid. And there's no legitimate religious argument against it, but even if there was it's totally irrelevant.

[Nickdfresh]

You're a retard, dude...

You obviously just don't get and I guess you never will...

And the Bible speaks of people like you...

Hear this, you foolish and senseless people, who have eyes but do not see, who have ears but do not hear...

Jeremiah 5:21


We should also kill anyone working on Sunday, too:


Kill People for Working on the Sabbath

The LORD then gave these further instructions to Moses: 'Tell the people of Israel to keep my Sabbath day, for the Sabbath is a sign of the covenant between me and you forever. It helps you to remember that I am the LORD, who makes you holy. Yes, keep the Sabbath day, for it is holy. Anyone who desecrates it must die; anyone who works on that day will be cut off from the community. Work six days only, but the seventh day must be a day of total rest. I repeat: Because the LORD considers it a holy day, anyone who works on the Sabbath must be put to death.' (Exodus 31:12-15 NLT)

http://www.evilbible.com/Murder.htm

[Seshmeister]

It's bit silly when white Christian Americans try to claim they are somehow a persecuted minority.

[cadaverdog]

It's bit silly when white Christian Americans try to claim they are somehow a persecuted minority.
Considering the fact that they probably are in the minority now It's not really that silly. On top of that they get lumped in with every extremist that calls themselves a Christian whether they feel the same way or not. Believe it or not some christians actually tolerate many things they don't agree with in a live and let live manner but no one represents them. They don't hate just because they don't approve.

[FORD]

Considering the fact that they probably are in the minority now It's not really that silly. On top of that they get lumped in with every extremist that calls themselves a Christian whether they feel the same way or not. Believe it or not some christians actually tolerate many things they don't agree with in a live and let live manner but no one represents them. They don't hate just because they don't approve.


Leviticus 19:19 (New International Version)

Keep my decrees.

Do not mate different kinds of animals.

Do not plant your field with two kinds of seed.

Do not wear clothing woven of two kinds of material.

Are your socks made out of more than one kind of material? :sockfucker:

[jhale667]

Are your socks made out of more than one kind of material? :sockfucker:

:lmao:

[WARF]

My favorite part of the Queen James bible is when Lady Gaga parts the RED SEA instead of Moses...

[BigBadBrian]

... most Christians think their ideals trump everyone else's. They don't.

Actually, they do.

Jews and Muslims feel the same way...that theirs is the only one true faith.

[ELVIS]

We should also kill anyone working on Sunday, too:

Rest is the secret of human fruitfulness. As you consent to this, a wonderful thing will begin to happen. You will find rest.

Jesus said you would. "Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart, and you will find rest." (Mathew 11:29 KJV).

Rest, with all it implies in terms of fruitfulness and dominion; reigning, ruling, producing that which is worthwhile and satisfying in life. That is the secret of life. This is why Jesus said, "If any man will save his life, he shall lose it. But if he shall lose his life for my sake, he shall find it," (cf, Matt 16:25, Mark 8:35, Luke 9:24).

He will find rest, he will fulfill the sabbath for that is what the sabbath is. It is God's divine provision for us.

In the only judgment that is ever worthwhile, the judgment before the assembled hosts of heaven, when every life is reviewed as to whether it was worth the living, whether it hit the target or not, the secret of a success that will merit the words of Jesus, "Well done, thou good and faithful servant," is to learn the rest of God. Anyone who learns that (and to the degree that you learn it) is keeping the sabbath as God intended the sabbath to be kept.


:elvis: (http://ldolphin.org/sabbathrest.html)

[FORD]

..... keeping the sabbath as God intended the sabbath to be kept.


http://www.bioo.org/wp-content/uploads/2011/06/blacksabbath.jpg

Yep. If it's not Ozzy, Tony, Geezer, and Bill, it's an abomination!

[ELVIS]

Vinnie Apice or any of Iommi's countless drummers would have been better than Tommy Cluelesstoes...

[jhale667]

Actually, they do.

Jews and Muslims feel the same way...that theirs is the only one true faith.

And clearly they can't all be right; therefore it's logical to assume they're all wrong, and it's all bullshit.

[Hardrock69]

They are NOT all "right".

But they all worship the same god.

So any arguments Jews have about Muslims and Christians being wrong are bullshit.
Any arguments Christians have about Jews and Muslims being wrong are bullshit.
Any arguments Muslims have about Christians and Jews being wrong are bullshit.

Right or wrong, Jews, Muslims and Christians ALL WORSHIP THE SAME GOD.

So they all need to just shut the fuck up and get on with it!

[ELVIS]

Get on with what ??

[jhale667]

http://i65.photobucket.com/albums/h217/jhale667/28072_280508415405244_975983704_n.jpg

[ELVIS]

I'm a pickup truck...

[Hardrock69]

The first step to the cure is admitting you have a problem. :hee:

[jhale667]

http://i65.photobucket.com/albums/h217/jhale667/1772_10151197850791275_1413239042_n.jpg

[Nickdfresh]

Considering the fact that they probably are in the minority now It's not really that silly. On top of that they get lumped in with every extremist that calls themselves a Christian whether they feel the same way or not. Believe it or not some christians actually tolerate many things they don't agree with in a live and let live manner but no one represents them. They don't hate just because they don't approve.

Just because you are an epic fail doesn't mean you're being persecuted, cadaverfuck...

[Nickdfresh]

Rest is the secret of human fruitfulness. As you consent to this, a wonderful thing will begin to happen. You will find rest.

Jesus said you would. "Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart, and you will find rest." (Mathew 11:29 KJV).

Rest, with all it implies in terms of fruitfulness and dominion; reigning, ruling, producing that which is worthwhile and satisfying in life. That is the secret of life. This is why Jesus said, "If any man will save his life, he shall lose it. But if he shall lose his life for my sake, he shall find it," (cf, Matt 16:25, Mark 8:35, Luke 9:24).

He will find rest, he will fulfill the sabbath for that is what the sabbath is. It is God's divine provision for us.

In the only judgment that is ever worthwhile, the judgment before the assembled hosts of heaven, when every life is reviewed as to whether it was worth the living, whether it hit the target or not, the secret of a success that will merit the words of Jesus, "Well done, thou good and faithful servant," is to learn the rest of God. Anyone who learns that (and to the degree that you learn it) is keeping the sabbath as God intended the sabbath to be kept.


:elvis: (http://ldolphin.org/sabbathrest.html)

So, it's okay to kill people who don't rest?

[vandeleur]

Neil degrasse tyson is cool as fuck and he is one of those people who can put across very complex idea's and make them understandable and relative .
Plus he does great tunes on youtube :biggrin:

[ELVIS]

So, it's okay to kill people who don't rest?

No, they're just gonna be miserable and tired...