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View Full Version : There's nothing I hate more than crunchy bacon



Dr. Love
02-11-2013, 05:10 PM
I went to the local breakfast joint for lunch today. I go there a few times a month, usually it's great. Great pancakes, great waffles, great eggs, bacon, hashbrowns. I love it.

Today, I got some to go. I get home, and my bacon... which is usually prepared al dente ... it's so fucking crunchy that it's like eating potato chips.

What a disaster. My whole day is ruined.

Guitar Shark
02-11-2013, 05:19 PM
How did Kristy hack into Doc's account?

Dr. Love
02-11-2013, 05:21 PM
are you saying I'm channeling claims-to-be-white-girl rage?

Guitar Shark
02-11-2013, 05:22 PM
are you saying I'm channeling claims-to-be-white-girl rage?

It's the only explanation. Who else would complain about crispy bacon?

LoungeMachine
02-11-2013, 05:22 PM
This thread is G H E Y

:gulp:

Seshmeister
02-11-2013, 05:25 PM
I think pancreatic cancer is definitely worse.

Dr. Love
02-11-2013, 05:25 PM
My mistake -- reading the various topics of conversation in this forum, I thought this was where we shared our minor grievances in life. Perhaps if I said WARF or RothChats ruined my bacon, I'd get a better reception to my griping!

:gulp:

But for the record al dente is the perfect bacon, crunchy is a travesty.

Coyote
02-11-2013, 05:25 PM
Thread does not compute...

Dr. Love
02-11-2013, 05:26 PM
I think pancreatic cancer is definitely worse.

Well, I haven't had pancreatic cancer, but I have had crunchy bacon, so I'm going to err on the side of experience.

Dr. Love
02-11-2013, 05:27 PM
Thread does not compute...

well, it isn't a calculator

PETE'S BROTHER
02-11-2013, 05:31 PM
crunchy bacon rules

9542

unless you are wearing it

LoungeMachine
02-11-2013, 05:32 PM
Who gets breakfast to go?

Cold eggs, soggy bacon, and limp hashbrowns?

:gulp:

Wait a minute....I know that menu. You're banging my ex wife!!!!

jhale667
02-11-2013, 05:32 PM
Only F A T failed doctors don't like crispy bacon.

Coyote
02-11-2013, 05:32 PM
well, it isn't a calculator

:drum:

Tip the veal, try the waitress...

Dr. Love
02-11-2013, 05:32 PM
who said anything about crispy bacon? I'm talking about crunchy bacon!

Guitar Shark
02-11-2013, 05:33 PM
Wait a minute....I know that menu. You're banging my ex wife!!!!Which one?

LoungeMachine
02-11-2013, 05:33 PM
My mistake -- reading the various topics of conversation in this forum, I thought this was where we shared our minor grievances in life.
.

Only if you troll craigslist for clients, and string guitars for rent money
or
Get fired for being a drunk.


:gulp:

PETE'S BROTHER
02-11-2013, 05:33 PM
who said anything about crispy bacon? I'm talking about crunchy bacon!

bacon bits fan?

Dr. Love
02-11-2013, 05:34 PM
Who gets breakfast to go?

Cold eggs, soggy bacon, and limp hashbrowns?

:gulp:

Wait a minute....I know that menu. You're banging my ex wife!!!!

Hey, I'm not driving across the city, it's like a 3 minute drive and I have forum posts to respond to. Aw lawd jesus, sit in the restaurant? it's Ain't nobody got time fo' that

Dr. Love
02-11-2013, 05:35 PM
Which one?

All of them.

At once.

Dr. Love
02-11-2013, 05:36 PM
All of them.

At once.

Let me rephrase. All of them in one sitting, alternatively taking turns. We're not running a human centipede here.

Zing!
02-11-2013, 05:45 PM
You should have complained about the bacon, Doc. One time I complained that my wife's cheeseburger at McDonalds didn't have ketchup on it. The surly teen took it and gave me a new one. When my wife unwrapped the burger it was swimming in about a half a quart of ketchup. It was pretty hilarious (and got the kid fired) but on second thought, maybe don't complain about the bacon...

Seshmeister
02-11-2013, 05:56 PM
I worry more about the stuff you don't see them do to your food when you make a complaint which is why I almost never do.

I just don't go back.

LoungeMachine
02-11-2013, 05:57 PM
Never send a drink back either......

:gulp:

Your bartender hates you, you know.......

Zing!
02-11-2013, 06:00 PM
Yeah but CRUNCHY BACON? I mean come the fuck ON! That shit just ain't right...

Dr. Love
02-11-2013, 06:17 PM
you know, it's past time we had some new moderator blood in here ... zing has shown impeccable taste in this thread.

LoungeMachine
02-11-2013, 06:18 PM
you know, it's past time we had some new moderator blood in here ... zing has shown impeccable taste in this thread.

I decide who gets modded, webbied, and banned here.....

:gulp:

Not you, Bathrobe.

Dr. Love
02-11-2013, 06:22 PM
I should have never made you a moderator ... the unbridled power that comes with it went straight to your head!

LoungeMachine
02-11-2013, 06:22 PM
How did Kristy hack into Doc's account?

Password: Bacon1

:gulp:

Pretty simple one to guess.....

Dr. Love
02-11-2013, 06:25 PM
please. As if that would be my password.

My password is nothing like that.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a6iW-8xPw3k

LoungeMachine
02-11-2013, 06:25 PM
I should have never made you a moderator ... the unbridled power that comes with it went straight to your head!

I can make grown men act like 12 year olds on Ritalin

:gulp:

They are powerless to fight back.

Kristy
02-11-2013, 06:26 PM
I decide who gets modded, webbied, and banned here...



I'm The (F A T) Decider!

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/thumb/1/1c/Roger_Smith.png/200px-Roger_Smith.png

LoungeMachine
02-11-2013, 06:27 PM
Oh, look....

The underemployed pot head made a funny.....

:gulp:

Now Kenny will ask someone to blow him. dufus.

Zing!
02-11-2013, 06:28 PM
you know, it's past time we had some new moderator blood in here ... zing has shown impeccable taste in this thread.

I have to admit that when I saw the Doc had started a thread about bacon strips, I didn't think we would actually be talking about bacon.

Kristy
02-11-2013, 06:30 PM
Again, "underemployed" you stupid F A T fuck. Go shove another Oreo down you double-chinned gullet, choke to death on it and just shut the fuck up for good, okay?

Dr. Love
02-11-2013, 06:31 PM
You take it back, Guitar Shark. My bacon-angst doesn't come near that level of vitriol.

LoungeMachine
02-11-2013, 06:32 PM
Again, "underemployed" you stupid F A T fuck. Go shove another Oreo down you double-chinned gullet, choke to death on it and just shut the fuck up for good, okay?

It said "underemployed" you ignorant slut.

:gulp:

Get off the computer and find a job.....

LoungeMachine
02-11-2013, 06:33 PM
I have to admit that when I saw the Doc had started a thread about bacon strips, I didn't think we would actually be talking about bacon.

Don't bother sucking up to him.....he has no real power here.

:gulp:

I run this place......ask anyone.

Dr. Love
02-11-2013, 06:34 PM
That's it. I'm leaving to start my own website. GOATFans.com

LoungeMachine
02-11-2013, 06:35 PM
Can I be a Mod?

Oh please, oh please.......

:gulp:

Dr. Love
02-11-2013, 06:36 PM
Everyone will be mods! We'll only have 1 sub-forum, for moderators only, where we talk shit about everyone that's not a mod.

Kristy
02-11-2013, 06:37 PM
Don't bother sucking up to him.....he has no real power here.

:gulp:

I run this place......ask anyone.

Hard to read over your F A T F I N G E R S you F A T fuck of F A T.

Only thing you run is to the bathroom to do Hersey squirts after the last all you can eat buffet has kicked you out of their establishment.

LoungeMachine
02-11-2013, 06:40 PM
Hard to read over your F A T F I N G E R S you F A T fuck of F A T.

Only thing you run is to the bathroom to do Hersey squirts after the last all you can eat buffet has kicked you out of their establishment.

:lmao:
:lmao:
:lmao:

Look, Kenny....we love you.

We only want what's best for you.

You will never find gainful employment sitting in here 20 hours a day seething over your keyboard while crying to your The Smiths collection....

Sober up, get off the pot, take a shower, and go find real work.

:first:

We know you can do it!!!!!

PETE'S BROTHER
02-11-2013, 06:41 PM
Hard to read over your F A T F I N G E R S you F A T fuck of F A T.

Only thing you run is to the bathroom to do Hersey squirts after the last all you can eat buffet has kicked you out of their establishment.

i'm really surprised the swede doesn't get jealous of all this attention...

LoungeMachine
02-11-2013, 06:41 PM
i'm really surprised the swede doesn't get jealous of all this attention...

She's shoe shopping.....

:gulp:

LoungeMachine
02-11-2013, 06:43 PM
Everyone will be mods! We'll only have 1 sub-forum, for moderators only, where we talk shit about everyone that's not a mod.

Kenny = Things I hate Forum

VA = Get the Military Lingo Right Forum

Sesh = Where Am I Forum?

WARF = FIRED ALREADY

:gulp:

Kristy
02-11-2013, 06:44 PM
:lmao:
:lmao:
:lmao:

Look, Kenny....we love you.

We only want what's best for you.

You will never find gainful employment sitting in here 20 hours a day seething over your keyboard while crying to your The Smiths collection....

Sober up, get off the pot, take a shower, and go find real work.

:first:

We know you can do it!!!!!

Please suffer a stroke and drop the fuck dead.

LoungeMachine
02-11-2013, 06:45 PM
Please suffer a stroke and drop the fuck dead.

Please find a job and get the fuck employed.

:gulp:

Zing!
02-11-2013, 06:47 PM
For fucks sake get back on topic, which was crunchy bacon, which is a goddamn travesty.

Kristy
02-11-2013, 06:48 PM
Please find a job and get the fuck employed.

:gulp:
Please up and fucking kill yourself.

FORD
02-11-2013, 06:53 PM
For fucks sake get back on topic, which was crunchy bacon, which is a goddamn travesty.

Well that's what Doc gets for going to a breakfast place for lunch. Shit's probably been sitting under a heat lamp since 6:00 AM. :biggrin:

Kristy
02-11-2013, 06:55 PM
Bacon = stroke food. Eat away, you cretins.

Zing!
02-11-2013, 06:56 PM
I could think of worse ways to go. I can only hope that when my time comes there's bacon involved somehow.

Guitar Shark
02-11-2013, 07:04 PM
I could think of worse ways to go. I can only hope that when my time comes there's bacon involved somehow.

When Pigs Attack (http://www.nydailynews.com/news/national/hungry-hogs-eat-oregon-farmer-article-1.1172448)

LoungeMachine
02-11-2013, 07:11 PM
Please up and fucking kill yourself.

That's your department, Kenny.

You're the depressed loser.

:gulp:

I'm loving life way too much to grant your wish.

Now, how about you log off and find a job, k?

LoungeMachine
02-11-2013, 07:13 PM
For fucks sake get back on topic, which was crunchy bacon, which is a goddamn travesty.

Isn't that cute....

Already acting all Mod-like and shit....

:gulp:

Kristy
02-11-2013, 07:18 PM
Well then cheer me up!










Kill yourself

LoungeMachine
02-11-2013, 07:28 PM
Nah....

Your miserable life would still suck....

:gulp:

You'd still be unemployable and a drug addicted hipster loser.

Zing!
02-11-2013, 07:30 PM
Isn't that cute....

Already acting all Mod-like and shit....

:gulp:

Hey I'm a natural! I must be a bigger asshole than I thought.

Free bacon for everybody!

jhale667
02-11-2013, 07:42 PM
Nah....

Your miserable life would still suck....

:gulp:

You'd still be unemployable and a drug addicted hipster loser.


...With diseases medical science doesn't even have names for yet.

Dr. Love
02-11-2013, 07:44 PM
My wife wound up baking some bacon for me. I swear I was hesitant at first but that shit is good. Better than frying.

Nickdfresh
02-11-2013, 07:45 PM
Crunchy bacon is great on a salad... :)

DLR Bridge
02-11-2013, 07:45 PM
So, the smoke was white and Zing was selected as a new modtif?


Ok, that was bad. But I gotta say, I enjoy burnt, crunchy bacon.

Dr. Love
02-11-2013, 07:47 PM
What the hell is wrong with you people




Besides the obvious

LoungeMachine
02-11-2013, 07:51 PM
My wife wound up baking some bacon for me. I swear I was hesitant at first but that shit is good. Better than frying.

Tell her to pack your shoes next time, and she'll be a Keeper.....

:gulp:

Dr. Love
02-11-2013, 07:52 PM
Tell her to pack your shoes next time, and she'll be a Keeper.....

:gulp:

She already does. I accumulated the shoes pre-wedding.

LoungeMachine
02-11-2013, 07:52 PM
Crunchy bacon is great on a salad... :)

What's a salad?

:gulp:

Us fat, failed musicians don't know these things.....

Kristy
02-11-2013, 07:54 PM
Nah....

Your miserable life would still suck....

:gulp:

You'd still be unemployable and a drug addicted hipster loser.

No it wouldn't. In fact, it would be a better day for a lot of people if you fucking killed yourself.

So what's stopping you?

Zing!
02-11-2013, 07:55 PM
How do you bake bacon, and more importantly, why? Bacon must be fried. Pretty sure it's a law in Minnesota. Probably introduced in the senate by Michelle Crazyeyes Bachman.

Dr. Love
02-11-2013, 07:56 PM
How do you bake bacon, and more importantly, why? Bacon must be fried. Pretty sure it's a law in Minnesota. Probably introduced in the senate by Michelle Crazyeyes Bachman.

Try it. Swear to god its better. And it always comes out right, never crunchy.

Dr. Love
02-11-2013, 07:57 PM
Nothing tips bakon.

Dr. Love
02-11-2013, 07:57 PM
Nothing tips bakon.

I meant tops. Damn phone. :)

jhale667
02-11-2013, 07:57 PM
Nothing tips bakon.

The only thing better than bacon is more bacon.

Kristy
02-11-2013, 08:00 PM
Nothing but strokes coming your way.

Zing!
02-11-2013, 08:00 PM
The only thing better than bacon is more bacon.

Served with a side of motherfucking bacon!

Guitar Shark
02-11-2013, 08:02 PM
Try it. Swear to god its better. And it always comes out right, never crunchy.

The only "right" bacon is crunchy bacon weirdo! Limp, fatty bacon is "wrong" bacon.

LoungeMachine
02-11-2013, 08:03 PM
No it wouldn't. In fact, it would be a better day for a lot of people if you fucking killed yourself.

So what's stopping you?


Family, friends, employees, and all the fun I'm having and money I'm making....

:gulp:

Sorry Kenny.....not everyone hates life.

Just you.

jhale667
02-11-2013, 08:03 PM
Nothing but strokes coming your way.

Shall we list all the complications of barbiturate addiction that are no doubt creeping up on you? Considering you combine the pills with Carboardeux , what the fuck are you using for a liver, anyway?

LoungeMachine
02-11-2013, 08:05 PM
The key is to buy the correct bacon....

Pay the extra, and get the Center Cut, name brand....

And Dr. Bathrobe is correct, baking on waxed paper in the oven, and finishing off with a quick Broil is the proper way.

Less grease, better taste.

:gulp:

I make a homemade cole slaw with fresh bacon bits in it.

And pine nuts.

jhale667
02-11-2013, 08:05 PM
The only "right" bacon is crunchy bacon weirdo! Limp, fatty bacon is "wrong" bacon.

Limp, fatty bacon is undercooked, and undercooked pork... no thanks.

Dr. Love
02-11-2013, 08:06 PM
The only "right" bacon is crunchy bacon weirdo! Limp, fatty bacon is "wrong" bacon.

Al dente! Al fucking dente!

LoungeMachine
02-11-2013, 08:06 PM
Shall we list all the complications of barbiturate addiction that are no doubt creeping up on you? Considering you combine the pills with Carboardeux , what the fuck are you using for a liver, anyway?

Anorexic pot head who drinks like a fish and has serious blood pressure issues....

:gulp:

Odds are she'll go first.

I'll serve Bacon at her memorial.

jhale667
02-11-2013, 08:10 PM
Anorexic pot head who drinks like a fish and has serious blood pressure issues....

:gulp:

Odds are she'll go first.

I'll serve Bacon at her memorial.


We'll pour a coupla boxes of Carboardeux out on the ground, too... send her off thug-style.

Zing!
02-11-2013, 08:19 PM
We'll pour a coupla boxes of Carboardeux out on the ground, too... send her off thug-style.

Maybe we can get Steven Segal to give the eulogy. Class it up a bit.

jhale667
02-11-2013, 08:24 PM
I was thinkin' Joe Pesci...either or....

Coyote
02-11-2013, 08:25 PM
Maybe we can get Steven Segal to give the eulogy. Class it up a bit.

Before or after he snaps someones neck?

jhale667
02-11-2013, 08:26 PM
On the other hand, I can almost understand the Dr.'s hate though... I feel similarly zealous about OVER-cooked bacon; HATE it burned. It's like a waste of perfectly good bacon. Criminal.

LoungeMachine
02-11-2013, 08:32 PM
Before or after he snaps someones neck?

Who, Kenny?

:gulp:

Zing!
02-11-2013, 08:35 PM
On the other hand, I hate bacon served in hotels and buffets in those big silver catering things where it's a goddamn mountain of bacon, but 99% of it is soft, soggy, rubbery, nasty tasting saltier than salt paper thin bacon wannabe. Steven Segal may eat that shit but not me. Fuck Segal and fuck that shit.

clarathecarrot
02-11-2013, 08:36 PM
Scrape that meal off the plate onto the dirt in the backyard and watch your dog eat it with recless abandon and glee that will make his day wonderfull and in turn make your day wonderfull for giving of yourself to a thankfull for what he has, dumb beastie.





I must be channeling the precious moments chapel....:doh:

LoungeMachine
02-11-2013, 08:36 PM
On the other hand, I can almost understand the Dr.'s hate though... I feel similarly zealous about OVER-cooked bacon; HATE it burned. It's like a waste of perfectly good bacon. Criminal.

Okay, choose......

Nothing to eat for a YEAR but over-cooked bacon.....

or....

Eat Krusty out for 30 minutes without a break.

:gulp:

Clock's ticking.......choose!!!

jhale667
02-11-2013, 08:41 PM
Okay, choose......

Nothing to eat for a YEAR but over-cooked bacon.....

or....

Eat Krusty out for 30 minutes without a break.

:gulp:

Clock's ticking.......choose!!!

Burnt bacon it is. :019:

LoungeMachine
02-11-2013, 08:41 PM
Burnt bacon it is. :019:

:lmao:

clarathecarrot
02-11-2013, 08:44 PM
Kenny = Things I hate Forum

VA = Get the Military Lingo Right Forum

Sesh = Where Am I Forum?

WARF = FIRED ALREADY

:gulp:


Write in MOD for 2013= clarathecarrot, mod of the = vegetables forum.

Nitro Express
02-11-2013, 08:46 PM
Crunchy bacon sucks. I'm the bacon master. I cook it perfect every time.

jhale667
02-11-2013, 08:47 PM
:lmao:

C'mon.... no-brainer. Who wants this happening 30-60 days after?

http://i65.photobucket.com/albums/h217/jhale667/ID-18_zpse2947248.jpg



But while we're on the bacon challenge, Hey DR. Love... one year of crunchy bacon, or you have to mod at GOAT CHATS? :lmao:

LoungeMachine
02-11-2013, 08:48 PM
C'mon.... no-brainer. Who wants this happening 30-60 days after?

http://i65.photobucket.com/albums/h217/jhale667/ID-18_zpse2947248.jpg



But while we're on the bacon challenge, Hey DR. Love... one year of crunchy bacon, or you have to mod at GOAT CHATS? :lmao:


Dude, posting personal pics of "Kristy" will get you de-modded if not outright banned...

:gulp:

Have you learned nothing over the last 2 weeks?

Nickdfresh
02-11-2013, 08:50 PM
What's a salad?

:gulp:

Us fat, failed musicians don't know these things.....

It's a bowl filled with bacon, a boiled egg, some chicken, lots of ranch dressing, a tomato, some croutons, and some lettuce for garnish purposes...

LoungeMachine
02-11-2013, 08:51 PM
It's a bowl filled with bacon, a boiled egg, some chicken, lots of ranch dressing, a tomato, some croutons, and some lettuce for garnish purposes...

Oh, The Cobb!!

:gulp:

Yeah, I love those....except for that weird leafy green shit at the bottom.

Nickdfresh
02-11-2013, 08:52 PM
Nothing but strokes coming your way.

Are you offering to jerk our cocks off?

LoungeMachine
02-11-2013, 08:53 PM
Are you offering to jerk our cocks off?

Not for free anyway......

Kenny is "underemployed" at the present time.....

:gulp:

Nickdfresh
02-11-2013, 08:54 PM
The key is to buy the correct bacon....

Pay the extra, and get the Center Cut, name brand....

And Dr. Bathrobe is correct, baking on waxed paper in the oven, and finishing off with a quick Broil is the proper way.

Less grease, better taste.

:gulp:

I make a homemade cole slaw with fresh bacon bits in it.

And pine nuts.


Actually I used to love to nuke my bacon in the microwave. But even with paper towels is such a goddamn mess...

jhale667
02-11-2013, 08:55 PM
Dude, posting personal pics of "Kristy" will get you de-modded if not outright banned...

:gulp:

Have you learned nothing over the last 2 weeks?



Yeah, like "her" wino teeth are that clean... :lmao:

LoungeMachine
02-11-2013, 08:55 PM
Actually I used to love to nuke my bacon in the microwave. But even with paper towels is such a goddamn mess...

Paper from grocery bags work better than paper towels when nuking bacon....

But nuked bacon must STILL be finished off with a quick broil....

:gulp:

Skip the last step and you're just G H E Y

Dr. Love
02-11-2013, 08:56 PM
you did what

Coyote
02-11-2013, 08:57 PM
Who, Kenny?

:gulp:

Obvious choice, but let's roll with that...

Coyote
02-11-2013, 09:01 PM
Paper from grocery bags work better than paper towels when nuking bacon....

But nuked bacon must STILL be finished off with a quick broil....

:gulp:

Skip the last step and you're just G H E Y

Blasphemy!!

Dr. Love
02-11-2013, 09:01 PM
why the fuck would you microwave bacon

Dr. Love
02-11-2013, 09:02 PM
prepare it the proper way: Get married and have your wife bake it.

Zing!
02-11-2013, 09:04 PM
I was thinkin' Joe Pesci...either or....

Pesci is probably the safer choice. Inviting Steven Segal to any function in which there's bacon seems like a huge mistake. While I have no doubt that his eulogy would bring us to tears, I think we'd already be crying when we realized the fat bastard ate all the bacon. Nothing like pulling your pud in a room with a casket with Steven Segal's greasy bacon farts clouding the air waiting for Warf to get back from the Piggly Wiggly with more bacon.

Coyote
02-11-2013, 09:07 PM
Pesci is probably the safer choice. Inviting Steven Segal to any function in which there's bacon seems like a huge mistake. While I have no doubt that his eulogy would bring us to tears, I think we'd already be crying when we realized the fat bastard ate all the bacon. Nothing like pulling your pud in a room with a casket with Steven Segal's greasy bacon farts clouding the air waiting for Warf to get back from the Piggly Wiggly with more bacon.

And later noticing the lousy photoshops by flappo.

Nickdfresh
02-11-2013, 09:13 PM
why the fuck would you microwave bacon

Don't ever question me you Ron Paul-lovin' hippy bacon-baker! 'Kay?

Try it! It's actually fairly healthy reducing the fat but preserving all of the flavor. The down side is the interior of the microwave is coated in grease...

LoungeMachine
02-11-2013, 09:16 PM
prepare it the proper way: Get married and have your wife bake it.

:first:

We have a winner....

wait.......didn't you have to GO GET your own bacon today?

LoungeMachine
02-11-2013, 09:16 PM
And later noticing the lousy photoshops by flappo.

:lmao:

Zing!
02-11-2013, 09:18 PM
I have to be in a real pinch to nuke bacon, and even then I use about half a roll of paper towels. I have not heard of the grocery sack trick. Interesting.

Dr. Love
02-11-2013, 09:20 PM
:first:

We have a winner....

wait.......didn't you have to GO GET your own bacon today?

sometimes I do it just so she knows I have other sources ... keeps her from feeling irreplaceable.

LoungeMachine
02-11-2013, 09:22 PM
I have to be in a real pinch to nuke bacon, and even then I use about half a roll of paper towels. I have not heard of the grocery sack trick. Interesting.

I can't recall the comedian, but the line went something like this......

I like my pasta al dente...not because it tastes better, but sometimes I just can't fucking wait that long

:gulp:

LoungeMachine
02-11-2013, 09:24 PM
sometimes I do it just so she knows I have other sources ... keeps her from feeling irreplaceable.

Way to keep that bitch in line......

:gulp:

LoungeMachine
02-11-2013, 09:25 PM
Pesci is probably the safer choice. Inviting Steven Segal to any function in which there's bacon seems like a huge mistake. While I have no doubt that his eulogy would bring us to tears, I think we'd already be crying when we realized the fat bastard ate all the bacon. Nothing like pulling your pud in a room with a casket with Steven Segal's greasy bacon farts clouding the air waiting for Warf to get back from the Piggly Wiggly with more bacon.

Zing! for webbie.....

:gulp:

Why waste this kind of talent on a Modship......

DLR Bridge
02-11-2013, 09:27 PM
http://youtu.be/CaK9bjLy3v4

Dr. Love
02-11-2013, 09:30 PM
Way to keep that bitch in line......

:gulp:

that's my wife you're talking about you dick

LoungeMachine
02-11-2013, 09:36 PM
that's my wife you're talking about you dick

Yes, and the broad can't make bacon to save her life.

:gulp:

At least she couldn't that one weekend in El Paso.......

Zing!
02-11-2013, 09:40 PM
Yes, and the broad can't make bacon to save her life.

:gulp:

At least she couldn't that one weekend in El Paso.......

This has the makings of a Nitro Express story...

Dr. Love
02-11-2013, 09:44 PM
This has the makings of a Nitro Express story...

rambling and full of shit?

LoungeMachine
02-11-2013, 09:44 PM
This has the makings of a Nitro Express story...

No.

It didn't start with: I used to......

And then ramble on for 9 paragraphs.....

:gulp:

Terry
02-11-2013, 09:45 PM
While I can't stand burnt, crunchy bacon, I do prefer the bacon to be crisp rather than barely cooked...

Terry
02-11-2013, 09:46 PM
that's my wife you're talking about you dick

The naked girl bouncing up and down in your sig is your wife?

Not for nothing, but what the HELL are you doing here posting threads about bacon?

LoungeMachine
02-11-2013, 09:47 PM
rambling and full of shit?

:lol:

Zing!
02-11-2013, 09:49 PM
The Doc's sig is why I've been hanging out in here all night...

LoungeMachine
02-11-2013, 09:50 PM
The Doc's sig is why I've been hanging out in here all night...

Doc Siggys are why I've been here 8 years.....

:gulp:

It's not for the bacon.....

LoungeMachine
02-11-2013, 09:51 PM
Shit......11 years.

:gulp:

oh gawd........11 years of bouncing gifs.

Zing!
02-11-2013, 09:53 PM
When the wifey says "what do you keep typing on your phone?" I can honestly reply, "I'm talking about bacon." That's enough to direct her attention back to Bravo.

LoungeMachine
02-11-2013, 09:54 PM
While I can't stand burnt, crunchy bacon, I do prefer the bacon to be crisp rather than barely cooked...

Fence sitting moderate......

:gulp:

LoungeMachine
02-11-2013, 09:54 PM
When the wifey says "what do you keep typing on your phone?" I can honestly reply, "I'm talking about bacon." That's enough to direct her attention back to Bravo.

:lmao:

Angel
02-12-2013, 12:40 AM
Oh fuck. Dr. Love starting a thread about bacon....sigh, I sure wish the boys would do something soon...

Dr. Love
02-12-2013, 12:55 AM
I had no idea the Roth Army populace had such an aversion to discussing bacon.

Fuck this place! I'm going to go start a bacon forum at the GOAT website.

Dr. Love
02-12-2013, 12:58 AM
I was thinking about buying some of this for when my bacon supplies are depleted:

http://www.thinkgeek.com/images/products/front/squeez-bacon.jpg

They have a really compelling advertisement:

http://www.thinkgeek.com/images/products/other/squeez-bacon-embed2-zoom.jpg

envy_me
02-12-2013, 01:02 AM
I had no idea the Roth Army populace had such an aversion to discussing bacon.

Fuck this place! I'm going to go start a bacon forum at the GOAT website.

NO!!! Let them speak for themselves. I love all sorts of different threads. It would be boring otherwise. I LOVE this thread. And I don't even eat bacon :-)

envy_me
02-12-2013, 01:03 AM
I was thinking about buying some of this for when my bacon supplies are depleted:

http://www.thinkgeek.com/images/products/front/squeez-bacon.jpg

They have a really compelling advertisement:

http://www.thinkgeek.com/images/products/other/squeez-bacon-embed2-zoom.jpg

Omg!!! They put our flag on that...

hambon4lif
02-12-2013, 01:21 AM
Fuck this place! I'm going to go start a bacon forum at the GOAT website.I suppose you could give it a shot, but I doubt it would go over well..

..they don't seem to be as interested in the cooking of animals as they are having sex with them.

Zing!
02-12-2013, 07:27 AM
Guess what I dreamed about last night?

envy_me
02-12-2013, 07:39 AM
I have never tried fried bacon. While I ate meat I lived in ex Yugoslavia and we had different meat habits then you guys.
I have eaten a lot of dried and smoked bacon. A lot of prosciutto too. Just dried and smoked meat. I remember that a neck of some animal tasted great when dried. Lol, it feels so unusual talking about this :D
But it tasted great.

I don't understand when people are eating two types of meat together. Like bacon on a hamburger. It feels so wrong. Isn't it too much?

But then again, I have strange rules about food and what can be eaten with what.

envy_me
02-12-2013, 07:44 AM
Guess what I dreamed about last night?

Bacon?

I had the strangest dream last night. I was in Istambul, on a market, looking for a shoe shop. Lost my own shoes while doing that, got very dirty and there was a member from here in my dream too, but I don't wanna go into details. Anyway, lost everything, got screwed over by an Army member, lol. In Istambul.

Coyote
02-12-2013, 08:55 AM
Bacon?

I had the strangest dream last night. I was in Istambul, on a market, looking for a shoe shop. Lost my own shoes while doing that, got very dirty and there was a member from here in my dream too, but I don't wanna go into details. Anyway, lost everything, got screwed over by an Army member, lol. In Istambul.

Ever seen "Midnight Express"?

Zing!
02-12-2013, 09:01 AM
Midnight Express should pretty much be required viewing for all Army members.

Coyote
02-12-2013, 09:03 AM
Think I saw it on youtube... Don't quote me on that...

envy_me
02-12-2013, 09:24 AM
Ever seen "Midnight Express"?

No. Never seen it. What is it about?

Edit: ok, just looked it up. Damn!!! But I didn't even do anything wrong in my dream.

Hardrock69
02-12-2013, 10:01 AM
rambling and full of shit?

:lmao:

Zing!
02-12-2013, 10:04 AM
You know what else should be required viewing? Midnight Run. Because you KNOW The Duke loves him some bacon and if you got a problem with that he'll stab you in the heart with a pencil you fucking fuck.

DLR Bridge
02-12-2013, 10:07 AM
"Why aren't you in good with the Chicago police department?"

ZahZoo
02-12-2013, 10:08 AM
I had no idea the Roth Army populace had such an aversion to discussing bacon.

Fuck this place! I'm going to go start a bacon forum at the GOAT website.

Wow... I thought this was a cool place to hang but... after all this bacon aversion business. I'm with you... fuck this place.

Now how about we get serious here and talk proper bacon... thin sliced, thick sliced... but wait... Flavored...

Ok major derail here.


Maple flavored bacon!! Damn if that ain't like putting chocolate syrup on a fucking candy bar!!!

envy_me
02-12-2013, 10:22 AM
"Why aren't you in good with the Chicago police department?"

AHAHAHAHAHAHA :D LOVE that movie :D

ELVIS
02-12-2013, 10:27 AM
who said anything about crispy bacon? I'm talking about crunchy bacon!

Precisely my point on most threads where I start the fight...

Nickdfresh
02-12-2013, 10:31 AM
I suppose you could give it a shot, but I doubt it would go over well..

..they don't seem to be as interested in the cooking of animals as they are having sex with them.

They sure as shit aren't getting any women over there! (except for maybe Angel...)

Zing!
02-12-2013, 10:32 AM
Maple bacon is choice, but if I had my way it would be apple-smoked bacon all week and served twice on Sunday. The thick cut stuff from the butcher, natch - not that phony name brand stuff pretending to be bacon. If it doesn't come home wrapped in white butchers paper we've got a problem.

ELVIS
02-12-2013, 10:39 AM
Stay away from bacon or any processed meats or deli cuts containing nitrates, unless you like cancer...

Zing!
02-12-2013, 10:52 AM
Stay away from bacon or any processed meats or deli cuts containing nitrates, unless you like cancer...

Spot on. The name brands like Oscar Mayer and John Morell, etc. come with nitrate counts that are just under the lethal threshold. If the bacon doesn't come from the farm to the butcher to you, then it's not worth buying.

Diamondjimi
02-12-2013, 10:53 AM
Mmmmm bacon.....


http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=IJGFY6oym_M

Zing!
02-12-2013, 12:10 PM
Bacon?

I had the strangest dream last night. I was in Istambul, on a market, looking for a shoe shop. Lost my own shoes while doing that, got very dirty and there was a member from here in my dream too, but I don't wanna go into details. Anyway, lost everything, got screwed over by an Army member, lol. In Istambul.

That dream didn't have any bacon in it at all.

WTF?

envy_me
02-12-2013, 12:11 PM
That dream didn't have any bacon in it at all.

WTF?

No, mine didn't. I thought yours did.

Zing!
02-12-2013, 12:27 PM
No, I dreamed I was in Istanbul wondering who the fuck stole my shoes.

envy_me
02-12-2013, 12:43 PM
No, I dreamed I was in Istanbul wondering who the fuck stole my shoes.

Oh, I know who stole them. I just don't wanna say it.

Zing!
02-12-2013, 12:51 PM
So I'm re-reading The Hobbit for the 19th time or so and I swear to Gandalf I opened the book last night and read this:

"Now I know what a piece if bacon feels like when it is suddenly picked out of the pan on a fork and put back on a shelf!"

"No you don't!" He heard Dori answering, "because the bacon knows that it will get back in the pan sooner or later!"

Weird.

ZahZoo
02-12-2013, 12:59 PM
No, I dreamed I was in Istanbul wondering who the fuck stole my shoes.

Did they look like this..?

http://www.baconcoma.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/10/Bacon-shoes.jpg

ELVIS
02-12-2013, 01:07 PM
Or this ??

http://www.theweeklings.com/wp-content/uploads/Large-Marge.jpg


:elvis:

Zing!
02-12-2013, 01:10 PM
Did they look like this..?

http://www.baconcoma.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/10/Bacon-shoes.jpg

Steven Segal ate my shoes!

ELVIS
02-12-2013, 01:12 PM
Is that Large Marge?

Sure is...

envy_me
02-12-2013, 03:28 PM
And NOBODY reacted that I wrote IstaMbul??? LOL.

Zing!
02-12-2013, 05:57 PM
After reading D-Ro's RS interview about the current state of VH, crunchy bacon seems like the least of my worries right now. Fuck.

Dr. Love
02-12-2013, 06:06 PM
Are you kidding? Crunchy bacon is more relevant than ever now ... it's not like anything else is going on ... or will be going on

PETE'S BROTHER
02-12-2013, 06:21 PM
nipple suckin is great, like crunchy bacon

Zing!
02-12-2013, 06:33 PM
Just when I thought I was out, the bacon pulls me back in!

envy_me
02-12-2013, 06:36 PM
Just when I thought I was out, the bacon pulls me back in!

Me too :D and I don't even eat bacon :D

Nitro Express
02-12-2013, 06:50 PM
Bacon untouched by human hands. It makes you wonder if the pigs it came from are real.

Nickdfresh
02-13-2013, 01:43 PM
Perfect, delicious bacon from today:

9547

sadaist
02-13-2013, 01:48 PM
Perfect, delicious bacon from today:

9547



You cook that up Nick? Or at a restaurant? Looks fucking great! Making my stomach rumble.

Angel
02-13-2013, 02:01 PM
They sure as shit aren't getting any women over there! (except for maybe Angel...)

Dave's Bitch is a mod. I have spent maybe 5 minutes there... You know what assuming does, I presume...

LoungeMachine
02-13-2013, 02:03 PM
Dave's Bitch is a mod. ..

Everyone is a mod there.......

:gulp:

WART begged me to Mod.... :lmao:

envy_me
02-13-2013, 02:04 PM
Dave's Bitch is a mod. I have spent maybe 5 minutes there... You know what assuming does, I presume...

You're a mod too. EVERYBODY is a mod.

Edit: Lol, Lounge. Great minds think alike...

Angel
02-13-2013, 02:09 PM
You're a mod too. EVERYBODY is a mod.

Edit: Lol, Lounge. Great minds think alike...

Fuck, am I? Had no fucking clue about that, lol. I'll have to go check that out...

Angel
02-13-2013, 02:15 PM
You're a mod too. EVERYBODY is a mod.

Edit: Lol, Lounge. Great minds think alike...

Nope...just tried. I'm a member, but no mod. At least that's the message I get when I try to go into the mod forum....

envy_me
02-13-2013, 02:15 PM
Fuck, am I? Had no fucking clue about that, lol. I'll have to go check that out...

You were couple of days ago when I visited. You also had your own part of the forum...

Angel
02-13-2013, 02:18 PM
You were couple of days ago when I visited. You also had your own part of the forum...
Hmmm. I wonder who is using my user name then? My name isn't Angel over there.

envy_me
02-13-2013, 02:20 PM
Hmmm. I wonder who is using my user name then? My name isn't Angel over there.

I know your user name there. You think it's hard to guess who wants to kick all cyber sluts in the cunt???

Dr. Love
02-13-2013, 02:22 PM
Perfect, delicious bacon from today:

9547

That bacon looks suspiciously crunchy.

PETE'S BROTHER
02-13-2013, 02:23 PM
I know your user name there. You think it's hard to guess who wants to kick all cyber sluts in the cunt???

:biggrin:

Angel
02-13-2013, 02:23 PM
I know your user name there. You think it's hard to guess who wants to kick all cyber sluts in the cunt???

Well, if I was modded, I'm not now. Must have been fired for not showing up at work.

chefcraig
02-13-2013, 02:24 PM
Hmmm. I wonder who is using my user name then? My name isn't Angel over there.

I'm pretty certain that Envy is confusing you with Dave's Bitch, Ang. DB does in fact serve as a mod at that site.

Angel
02-13-2013, 02:27 PM
I'm pretty certain that Envy is confusing you with Dave's Bitch, Ang. DB does in fact serve as a mod at that site.

No, she quoted one of the two posts I have made there...

envy_me
02-13-2013, 02:28 PM
I'm pretty certain that Envy is confusing you with Dave's Bitch, Ang. DB does in fact serve as a mod at that site.

No, no, no, her name is Yo Mama and she wants to kick all cyber sluts in the cunt. That page is no GOAT page. It's a hate site about me.

But maybe she was modded just as a formailty, all new members are modded :D

Angel
02-13-2013, 02:28 PM
That bacon looks suspiciously crunchy.

No, it looks CRISPY. Which is perfect.

Dr. Love
02-13-2013, 02:30 PM
I think there's something wrong with the Roth Army database...

I click on all these threads with different titles but they all seem to have the same posts inside.

No matter where I look, it's the same posts about envy, lounge, cadaverdog, angel and those dumbass goat forums.

One would think that this website is dedicated to nothin but that. :umm:

Dr. Love
02-13-2013, 02:31 PM
No, it looks CRISPY. Which is perfect.

I can see the tell-tale signs of it being slightly overcooked.

LoungeMachine
02-13-2013, 02:32 PM
Hmmm. I wonder who is using my user name then? My name isn't Angel over there.

Well cadaverdump posts as Lounge Machine, so....

:gulp:

He would love to be me. His jealousy is obvious :)

LoungeMachine
02-13-2013, 02:33 PM
I think there's something wrong with the Roth Army database...

I click on all these threads with different titles but they all seem to have the same posts inside.

No matter where I look, it's the same posts about envy, lounge, cadaverdog, angel and those dumbass goat forums.

One would think that this website is dedicated to nothin but that. :umm:

When it is clearly about bacon, and how not to cook it.....

:gulp:

chefcraig
02-13-2013, 02:33 PM
I think there's something wrong with the Roth Army database...

I click on all these threads with different titles but they all seem to have the same posts inside.


Yeah, that's the specific reason I stopped viewing NASCAR sites. Every thread evolves into why Earnhardt Jr. isn't running so great and how come the Busch brothers can be such snotty jerks yet get away with it every week.

Dr. Love
02-13-2013, 02:35 PM
Yeah, that's the specific reason I stopped viewing NASCAR sites. Every thread evolves into why Earnhardt Jr. isn't running so great and how come the Busch brothers can be such snotty jerks yet get away with it every week.

So in this metaphor WART is Earnhardt Jr. and Lounge/Envy are the Busch brothers?

LoungeMachine
02-13-2013, 02:37 PM
So in this metaphor WART is Earnhardt Jr. and Lounge/Envy are the Busch brothers?

Analogy, not metaphor......

:gulp:

You soggy bacon eating troll...... ;)

chefcraig
02-13-2013, 02:37 PM
So in this metaphor WART is Earnhardt Jr. and Lounge/Envy are the Busch brothers?

No, that is taking things a bit far. Neither example is accurate or for that matter, fair. Funny yes, but correct, no. :lmao:

PETE'S BROTHER
02-13-2013, 02:39 PM
So in this metaphor WART is Earnhardt Jr. and Lounge/Envy are the cyber bush brothers?

yes :biggrin:

Sensible Shoes
02-13-2013, 04:33 PM
Yankee Candle made a bacon candle. No word if it's crispy or not.

Nickdfresh
02-13-2013, 07:00 PM
Dave's Bitch is a mod. I have spent maybe 5 minutes there... You know what assuming does, I presume...

I'm talking about getting women in real life! I'm pretty sure DB is straight, and everyone else there is asexual...

Nickdfresh
02-13-2013, 07:03 PM
You cook that up Nick? Or at a restaurant? Looks fucking great! Making my stomach rumble.

At a local restaurant, one of the only ones with a nearly 100% rating on Urbanspoon and everything was like $5...


That bacon looks suspiciously crunchy.

Nope! Crispy, but still tender enough to be succulently chewy...

Nickdfresh
02-13-2013, 07:04 PM
Yankee Candle made a bacon candle. No word if it's crispy or not.

Maybe I'll try it tomorrow...

Nickdfresh
02-13-2013, 07:06 PM
I can see the tell-tale signs of it being slightly overcooked.

Jesus, and I thought I was a picky eater...

Nickdfresh
02-13-2013, 07:07 PM
Well cadaverdump posts as Lounge Machine, so....

:gulp:

He would love to be me. His jealousy is obvious :)

And he really, really wants me to post there under the mistaken guise that somehow me being a mod is why I stomp him here...

Sensible Shoes
02-13-2013, 07:49 PM
I like my bacon from crunchy to burned. Ha.

Zing!
02-13-2013, 08:03 PM
God that's sexy.

Sensible Shoes
02-13-2013, 08:21 PM
Thank you.

Angel
02-13-2013, 10:43 PM
Damn. Now I want a bacon sandwich.

Dr. Love
02-14-2013, 01:36 AM
Oh fuck. Angel posting about bacon sandwiches....sigh, I sure wish the boys would do something soon...

ZahZoo
02-14-2013, 09:59 AM
Can I get some eggs over medium with that bacon..?

ZahZoo
02-14-2013, 10:34 AM
Anyone get one of these for Valentine's Day?

http://www.angryblackladychronicles.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/03/Vosges-Bacon-Chocolate-Bar.jpg

ELVIS
02-14-2013, 10:37 AM
Do they make bacon toilet paper yet ??

ELVIS
02-14-2013, 10:38 AM
http://www.angryblackladychronicles.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/03/Vosges-Bacon-Chocolate-Bar.jpg

At first glance, I thought that was the ear Tyson had bitten off...

Angel
02-16-2013, 02:29 PM
Oh fuck. Angel posting about bacon sandwiches....sigh, I sure wish the boys would do something soon...

Want fries with your sandwich? http://img.tapatalk.com/d/13/02/17/anuvamen.jpg

jhale667
02-18-2013, 11:13 AM
http://i65.photobucket.com/albums/h217/jhale667/179599_412628198830794_1269334805_n_zps3db0a72a.jp g