MAN Rules

[Hardrock69]

WE always hear "The Rules" from the female side.

NOW HERE ARE THE RULES FROM THE MALE SIDE

THESE ARE OUR RULES!

PLEASE NOTE. THESE ARE ALL NUMBERED #1 ON PURPOSE!

1. MEN ARE NOT MIND READERS.

1. LEARN TO WORK THE TOILET SEAT. YOU'RE A BIG GIRL. IF IT'S UP, PUT IT DOWN. WE NEED IT UP, YOU NEED IT DOWN. YOU DON'T HEAR US COMPLAINING ABOUT YOU LEAVING IT DOWN.

1. CRYING IS BLACKMAIL.

1. ASK FOR WHAT YOU WANT. LET US BE CLEAR ON THIS ONE:

SUBTLE HINTS DO NOT WORK!
STRONG HINTS DO NOT WORK!
OBVIOUS HINTS DO NOT WORK!
JUST SAY IT!

1. YES AND NO ARE PERFECTLY ACCEPTABLE ANSWERS TO ALMOST EVERY QUESTION.

1. COME TO US WITH A PROBLEM ONLY IF YOU WANT HELP SOLVING IT. THAT'S WHAT WE DO. SYMPATHY IS WHAT YOUR GIRLFRIENDS ARE FOR.

1. ANYTHING WE SAID 6 MONTHS AGO IS INADMISSIBLE IN AN ARGUMENT. IN FACT, ALL COMMENTS BECOME NULL AND VOID AFTER 7 DAYS.

1. IF YOU THINK YOU'RE FAT, YOU PROBABLY ARE. DON'T ASK US.

1. IF SOMETHING WE SAID CAN BE INTERPRETED TWO WAYS AND ONE OF THE WAYS MAKES YOU SAD OR ANGRY, WE MEANT THE OTHER ONE.

1. YOU CAN EITHER ASK US TO DO SOMETHING OR TELL US HOW YOU WANT IT DONE. NOT BOTH.
IF YOU ALREADY KNOW BEST HOW TO DO IT, JUST DO IT YOURSELF.

1. WHENEVER POSSIBLE, PLEASE SAY WHATEVER YOU HAVE TO SAY DURING COMMERCIALS.

1. CHRISTOPHER COLUMBUS DID NOT NEED DIRECTIONS AND NEITHER DO WE...

1. ALL MEN SEE IN ONLY 16 COLORS, LIKE WINDOWS DEFAULT SETTINGS..
PEACH, FOR EXAMPLE, IS A FRUIT, NOT A COLOR. PUMPKIN IS ALSO A FRUIT. WE HAVE NO IDEA WHAT MAUVE IS.

1. IF WE ASK WHAT IS WRONG AND YOU SAY 'NOTHING,' WE WILL ACT LIKE NOTHING'S WRONG. WE KNOW YOU ARE LYING, BUT IT IS JUST NOT WORTH THE HASSLE.

1. IF YOU ASK A QUESTION YOU DON'T WANT AN ANSWER TO, EXPECT AN ANSWER YOU DON'T WANT TO HEAR..

1. WHEN WE HAVE TO GO SOMEWHERE, ABSOLUTELY ANYTHING YOU WEAR IS FINE...REALLY.

1. DON'T ASK US WHAT WE'RE THINKING ABOUT UNLESS YOU ARE PREPARED TO DISCUSS SUCH TOPICS AS FOOTBALL OR MOTOR SPORTS.

1. YOU HAVE ENOUGH CLOTHES.

1. YOU HAVE TOO MANY SHOES.

1. I AM IN SHAPE. ROUND IS A SHAPE!

1.THANK YOU FOR READING THIS. YES, I KNOW, I HAVE TO SLEEP ON THE COUCH TONIGHT.. BUT DID YOU KNOW MEN REALLY DON'T MIND THAT? IT'S LIKE CAMPING...

[LoungeMachine]

WE always hear "The Rules" from the female side.

NOW HERE ARE THE RULES FROM THE MALE SIDE

.

Yeah, I got in a little trouble posting these earlier...... :lmao:

[envy_me]

Yeah, guys... If Columbus had asked for directions, you'd all still be Europeans. Wouldn't you want that??? :biggrin:

[Nitro Express]

When the woman says no pussy for you, all those man rules collapse. Face it guys, they have that hidden ace they always can pull out.

[Coyote]

When the woman says no pussy for you, all those man rules collapse. Face it guys, they have that hidden ace they always can pull out.

If a woman says "no pussy for you", I go someplace else...

Pussy's nice, but it ain't worth bending over backwards for...

[Matt White]

Yeah, I got in a little trouble posting these earlier...... :lmao:

HA!!! I think "liking it" will have repercussions for me...which is why I did it!!! LMMFAO

:yo::yo::yo:

[Angel]

Yeah, guys... If Columbus had asked for directions, you'd all still be Europeans. Wouldn't you want that??? :biggrin:

Columbus being the first to discover America is a myth. The first was the Indigenous peoples who came over Beringia. Then there was the Vikings in the 11th century. Although Columbus did discover the Bahamas, John Cabot was the first to set foot on the continent and it was Jacques Cartier who discovered Canada.

[Nitro Express]

If a woman says "no pussy for you", I go someplace else...

Pussy's nice, but it ain't worth bending over backwards for...

It works when you are married to her and she can take half your gross assets away in a divorce.

[Nitro Express]

Columbus being the first to discover America is a myth. The first was the Indigenous peoples who came over Beringia. Then there was the Vikings in the 11th century. Although Columbus did discover the Bahamas, John Cabot was the first to set foot on the continent and it was Jacques Cartier who discovered Canada.

Those are just the people we know about. There is a bunch of things that went on in the past we have no idea about. Only the stone structures survive. We can only go off of those or old written records. Occasionally human remains are discovered that prove us wrong. The Iceman proved people then were more advanced than we thought they were. Mummies unearthed in China show people from the west were traveling to asia before we thought they were.

Also history is written by the victor and sometimes the past is erased. The spanish erased native american cultures. Mao erased much of the previous chinese culture luckily some of the artifacts were spared by having them moved to Taiwan. Pol Pot wanted to reinvent the past in Cambodia by wiping anyone that would know about it out.

There is a lot we don't know about ourselves.

[Coyote]

It works when you are married to her and she can take half your gross assets away in a divorce.

"If you're married", you meant?

[Hardrock69]

If a woman says "no pussy for you", I go someplace else...

Pussy's nice, but it ain't worth bending over backwards for...

True. The fake threat of "no pussy for you" will backfire when they suddenly discover they are no longer getting dick. :hee: