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View Full Version : ENTIRE WORLD SURRENDERS to NORTH KOREA.......



Hardrock69
04-13-2013, 11:18 AM
link (http://www.theonion.com/articles/world-surrenders-to-north-korea,31265/)

Wow. Guess this is the end.




Pyongyang, the capital city of Earth’s new rulers.
http://i47.tinypic.com/2ic85lu.jpg

World Surrenders To North Korea

PYONGYANG—Following reports earlier this morning that the Democratic People’s Republic of Korea successfully conducted its third nuclear test, sources confirmed that every nation on the planet has surrendered to the mighty East Asian dictatorship.

Less than 24 hours after news of North Korea’s detonation of an atomic bomb at a test site near the Chinese border, humbled representatives from around the globe gathered before the Supreme People’s Assembly in Pyongyang to concede defeat to North Korea and offer their services to Supreme Leader Kim Jong-un and his indomitable empire.

“In the face of this immense show of military might, our choice has become clear: surrender now or be instantly annihilated,” U.S. President Barack Obama said as he joined United Kingdom Prime Minister David Cameron, German Chancellor Angela Merkel, and all other world leaders in kneeling and groveling before the Dear Leader. “At this point, we cannot resist the will of the North Korean dominion, nor would we want to. Our defeated nations and the people therein are hereby property of our Noble Leader, who henceforth may do with them as he wishes.”

“May the divinely ordained dynasty endure for 1,000 years!” Obama added.

The former U.S. Capitol building, now headquarters of the North Korean–American Workers’ Party.
http://i50.tinypic.com/6qebeg.jpg

According to sources worldwide, following the total and unyielding capitulation of Russia, China, South Korea, and the rest of Earth’s nearly 200 sovereignties to North Korea, the newly subjugated nations have already begun the process of relinquishing their governments, militaries, cultural identities, and media outlets to the all-powerful autocracy.

Additionally, sources confirmed the global surrender has been expedited through the immediate occupation of all centers of government by thousands of North Korean diplomats, who are overseeing the voluntary turnover of all property—including munitions, gold bullion, and food—to the People’s Republic, which in the future may dole them out to its recently acquired territories as it deems appropriate.

“The United States and the rest of the world looks forward to devoting its resources and manpower to the great cultural and political project of our new North Korean rulers,” said Obama, as halfway around the world a North Korean flag was raised above the newly relinquished U.S. Capitol building. “It is a shame that it took this latest nuclear test to reveal our foolhardiness in attempting to resist the will of the mighty North Korean empire. Our only hope is that the great People’s Republic will forgive our past arrogance and take pity on its poor subjects. Your might and power truly know no equal, Dear Leader.”

When reached for comment Tuesday, the Global Supreme Leader himself was less conciliatory.

“The surrender of North Korea’s global enemies was an inevitability that our adversaries were foolish to delay,” Kim said. “In the coming weeks, the world’s people will learn firsthand the dear price of their resistance.”


EDITOR’S NOTE: Following the complete and utter surrender of the world’s inferior peoples to North Korea, The Onion would like to reaffirm its decades-long loyalty to the People’s Republic. As the Supreme Leader is no doubt aware, The Onion has secretly financed the Korean Workers’ Party since its inception, and we are proud at last to see the Powerful and Prosperous Nation take its rightful place. Long may North Korea reign, and death and dishonor to any who hope to oppose this mighty nation.

당신은 바보입니다




:hee:

ELVIS
04-13-2013, 11:22 AM
My dirt bike says PYONGYANG, PYONGYANG!!!

Nitro Express
04-13-2013, 01:41 PM
That's a huge group of people in that square. The only thing missing is the Van Halen stage. Maybe VH should swing on over to North Korea and do a show. They seem to have some restless energy they need to get out. They just need to get drunk and high and go fucking wild at a VH show. When you want to smash and break shit, yeah, it's time to rock out! Owwwwwww!

clarathecarrot
04-13-2013, 01:52 PM
The thing the world doesn't realize is all of these fearless leaders are going to be at the show Sddamn and Quadaffi when alive all these Akmadinnerjacket Iran CUNTS, America haters are flying all over the world in their G9 aircraft and banging Cindy Crawford level models in the carribean hotels they are all such assholes.

All they're hapless minnions are so delusional by the lack of outward influence, they keep them stupid and ignorant no press state run TV .. and live the life of jet setting billionairs..

That is why I am down on you -The Front- dorks for bagging on America...the WHOLE world watches us and wants get here faster than shit.

By, HERE... I mean the freedom we live by.

envy_me
04-13-2013, 02:00 PM
As soon as North Korea shoots a missile, they have lost. There'll be no war.

This situation kinda works great for both Kim and USA:
Kim gets to show his people that he is brave enough to threaten the big guys and USA needs to keep up the illusion of the bad guy to have an excuse to justify military actions.

clarathecarrot
04-13-2013, 02:11 PM
Kim JUNK PUNK might as well be beating his goddamned dogs/people with a baseball bat they are so stupid.

Satan
04-13-2013, 03:50 PM
Even Lil Kim's daddy and grandpa are embarrassed by him sometimes.

Trust me on this.... http://www.cosgan.de/images/smilie/teufel/d025.gif

Nitro Express
04-13-2013, 10:04 PM
As soon as North Korea shoots a missile, they have lost. There'll be no war.

This situation kinda works great for both Kim and USA:
Kim gets to show his people that he is brave enough to threaten the big guys and USA needs to keep up the illusion of the bad guy to have an excuse to justify military actions.

You would think so. Apparently there is a lot of concern North Korea will use cobalt laced nukes. Also their underground bunkers apparently are lined with cobalt and if we use nuclear penetrators they will blast out cobalt 60 and the fallout will fall on Japan and even cross the ocean to north america.


Cobalt has been discussed as a "salting" element to add to nuclear weapons, to produce a cobalt bomb, an extremely "dirty" weapon which would contaminate large areas with 60Co nuclear fallout, rendering them uninhabitable. In one hypothetical design, the tamper of the weapon would be made of 59Co. When the bomb exploded, the excess neutrons from the nuclear fission would irradiate the cobalt and transmute it into 60Co. No nation is known to have done any serious development of this type of weapon.

Even Vladimir Putin has warned not to take attacking North Korea lightly due to them being willing to use cobalt 60 weapons and their resolve to fight to the death. You have to remember they have the old school asian mentality. They worship their leader (The Dear Leader=Emperor) and will fight to the death. These aren't westernized wimps. Also with the US Federal Government failing to secure our borders, how many North Korean agents are in the US and exactly what to they have and what can they do? This isn't the CIA fabricated Al Quaida. North Korean agents would be the real deal with a real resolve to do real damage.

Nickdfresh
04-14-2013, 12:54 AM
You would think so. Apparently there is a lot of concern North Korea will use cobalt laced nukes. Also their underground bunkers apparently are lined with cobalt and if we use nuclear penetrators they will blast out cobalt 60 and the fallout will fall on Japan and even cross the ocean to north america.



Even Vladimir Putin has warned not to take attacking North Korea lightly due to them being willing to use cobalt 60 weapons and their resolve to fight to the death. You have to remember they have the old school asian mentality. They worship their leader (The Dear Leader=Emperor) and will fight to the death. These aren't westernized wimps. Also with the US Federal Government failing to secure our borders, how many North Korean agents are in the US and exactly what to they have and what can they do? This isn't the CIA fabricated Al Quaida. North Korean agents would be the real deal with a real resolve to do real damage.

Sounds like complete horseshit...

Nitro Express
04-14-2013, 01:41 AM
Sounds like complete horseshit...

Actually it was.:hee:

The bit on cobalt 60 is true. No country has been insane enough to develop those kinds of weapons but the conspiracy people think North Korea would be nuts enough to do it and use it.

BITEYOASS
04-14-2013, 11:53 AM
You have to remember they have the old school asian mentality. They worship their leader (The Dear Leader=Emperor) and will fight to the death. These aren't westernized wimps.

Looks more like the North Koreans are putting on a show in order to keep from going to the gulags. Because once we bomb the shit out of them, their reverence towards their dear reader will evaporate quickly. And Westernized wimps?!?! Have you even seen the ROK Marines in action? Those commie fucks don't know whats coming to them.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mIeNarqWz_I

And unlike the North Korean videos, this one is unedited.

BITEYOASS
04-14-2013, 11:56 AM
This is North Korea's idea of camouflage. ROFLAO :lmao:



https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MJoxodVFHYI

Looks more like they are trying to win an Oscar instead of a war.

Nickdfresh
04-14-2013, 01:41 PM
The Christian Science Monitor had a decent article I should post. Their analysis was that Kim was trying to secure and cement his position within the military and society as a whole. This would enable him to finally deal with the South and the U.S. and cut a formal Armistice...

Hardrock69
04-14-2013, 11:17 PM
Well, North Korea loses if they launch a missile.

As it will then be a question of whether or not the US wants to shoot it down.

If they do so, they can claim that it was headed (insert direction here)......meaning they could claim self-defence.

WHO is going to have direct access to the tracking data for the missile?

Only the military.

The media will not.

So you have a complete break in the com link there.

The missile could be on a direct course for the ocean 10 miles off the coast of North Korea, but as the western world controls the media, all that has to be reported is that the missile was headed for.......Tokyo, or South Korea, or even GUAM, so it got destroyed.

SO......then it remains to be seen how the spoiled rotten crybaby reacts to having his candy taken away. If he decides to throw a temper tantrum, then war will be the result.

But nobody is going to believe the diaper-rash-induced ranting of the son/grandson of insane people if the world knows the missile was aimed where the Western Media says it was. :hee:

Seshmeister
04-17-2013, 05:51 PM
http://s2.b3ta.com/host/creative/36694/1366233646/gokimgo.gif

envy_me
04-18-2013, 03:59 AM
Lmao, this is what I wrote earlier :D Bill reads my mind :D