What Thew Kids Are Killing Themselves To

[Kristy]

First up is the creepy but adorable Katie Crutchfield of Waxahatchee (named after a town she grew up in or some such shit). Anyhoo, Katie is what I like to call "post-emo, mind-numbing rambling winded pop." Think of it as a therapeutic reaction to her lesbian social worker and deadbeat father. A cross between Silva Plath and Jerry Garcia, Katie doesn't know her way around a tune, but why should she? Remember, she's adorable.




Next is Neon Indian. A turd that stinks so bad that even the hacks at Pitchfork Media won't praise it...much. What is Neon Indian? My best guess is trendy college dropouts who can't play music but can press a lot of fucking buttons. Because that's what "kwel" musicians do these days, press a lot of fucking buttons.


Marine Stern. Hey, she "shreds" "fingertaps" says "badass" and smokes a lot of cigarettes. She has no tone, no talent, no originality. Think of her as your modern day Eddie Van Halen



Finally, Mona. Corporate-pushed pseudopunk at it's best. This shit is so bad it actually rocks. By rocks I mean sucks. Mona is composed of cloned Joe Strummer wannabes who wold rather sniff Johnny Cash's boxer shorts. Somebody should really beat the living shit out of them because you know, cut off jeans jackets were never cool - unless you actually are Joe Strummer.


Enjoy!

[Kristy]

Oh, and don't forget to checkout that circa 1985 Mark Knopfler headband on Marine. Badass or what!?

[clarathecarrot]

I like this little ditty..it's the latest and it's got the fire burning up the charts in carrot town.


Ode To The Kristy

the carrot humps for the Kristy tasks me not

the carrot humps,..for the Kristy tasks me not

the carrot humps for the ,.. Kristy tasks me not

the carrot humps for the Kristy,..tasks,..me not

the carrot humps for the Kristy tasks me,..not.

question not why the carrot humps

the carrot humps for theeeeeee

hump hump hump, for the kristy tasks me not

what hump the carrot humps

question not why the the carrot humps

do so love the hump hump for the Kristy tasks me not

do so,..love the hump for the Kristy tasks me not

do so love love, the hump for the Kristy tasks me not

do so love love love the, hump for the Kristy tasks me not

do so love love the hump, for the Kristy tasks me not

do so love.love the hump for, the Kristy tasks me not

the carrot humps onlee for theeee

99339933

[binnie]

MONA and Neon Indian were fucking insipid.

Have you ever heard Belle & Sebastian? That stuff makes me want to explode..............................

[ODShowtime]

WTF? Who left the fucking door open?

[vandeleur]

MONA and Neon Indian were fucking insipid.

Have you ever heard Belle & Sebastian? That stuff makes me want to explode..............................

Belle and Sebastian make what I call bed wetter music ... Or maybe were not sensitive enough
:biggrin:

[binnie]

Belle and Sebastian make what I call bed wetter music ... Or maybe were not sensitive enough
:biggrin:

Guys who listen to Belle & Sebastian definitely cuddle afterwards - problem is that they also cry beforehand.....

[jhale667]

Guys who listen to Belle & Sebastian definitely cuddle afterwards - problem is that they also cry beforehand.....

:lmao:

[VAiN]

Holy shit balls... sometimes I feel out of touch with what the kids are listening to.. FUCK THAT SHIT. That was terrible. Just terrible.

You know Kristy, sometimes you're all right.. thanks for posting that.

[Coyote]

Video #1: When she was tuning up, I thought "this is gonna suck, isn't it?". I hate it when I'm right. Limp-wristed rambling like this should be left where it belongs, but...
Video #2: Kudos for using analog synths, too bad they didn't flesh out the, um, "song" a bit more. (Is it just me, or is the current vocal style supposed to be inaudible?)
Video #3: Um, no. Just no.
Video #4: Lousy attempt at trying to be U2.

Lyrics didn't make any fucking sense, and WTF is up with those long ass "artsy" intros?
























































They'll be selling platinum in no time...

[Kristy]

Video #4: Lousy attempt at trying to be U2.

Really? At which point? To me, they came off as lame Joe Strummer impersonators doing a deplorable Vegas act. Even Bono during his bloated ego days was never this bad. Then again, to be quite honest here, I could not handle more than 30 seconds of each video.


Lyrics didn't make any fucking sense, and WTF is up with those long ass "artsy" intros?

Sad to say this is where music is headed. It's tossed itself beyond the pale of mediocrity.

[chefcraig]

Sad to say this is where music is headed. It's tossed itself beyond the pale of mediocrity.

Christ, you are not kidding. WTF is up with these opening pastiches of mood music that drone on and on, yet only have a marginal connection to the song they preface? For crying out loud, Brian Eno could fill entire albums with more interesting and arresting sounds back in the 1970s, and it wasn't a stunt.

This shit reminds me of those ghastly "mood music as wallpaper" albums that appeared in the 1990s, which would be played at parties when everyone got gussied up in ill-fitting clothing, surrounded by intolerably uncomfortable furniture and questionable artwork, then generally ignore each other until it was time to leave, with everybody saying what a great time they'd had.

Worst of all was the crummy cheese and crackers, those half cooked mini hotdogs on toothpicks and not a decent beer to be found anywhere. If you were truly unlucky, you'd get served that shitty Zima alcohol-like product by some nerdy and needy dipshit wearing, of all things, a 1940s-style detective hat and a bowtie, incongruously with a pair of Doc Martin tennis sneakers. Man, talk about getting fucked in the ear with a garden hose.


http://i546.photobucket.com/albums/hh440/saltybeast/zima-1.jpg (http://media.photobucket.com/user/saltybeast/media/zima-1.jpg.html)

Well, if it don't kill ya, it only makes ya stronger. Still don't know how I survived, but the last thing I want is some little potato-head reminding me of the era, even slightly. I'd much rather get hit in the face with Lou Reed's guitar or John Cale's scratchy viola, even if they are slightly out of tune.

[Nitro Express]

It makes you just want to be Ginger Baker and tell the young fucks off and maybe bust their nose.

[Coyote]

Really? At which point? To me, they came off as lame Joe Strummer impersonators doing a deplorable Vegas act. Even Bono during his bloated ego days was never this bad. Then again, to be quite honest here, I could not handle more than 30 seconds of each video.

Well, to me, as soon as the "verse" kicked in, I thought of this:


Except with more dumbed down lyrics and "driving drums".