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Sensible Shoes
05-22-2013, 04:10 PM
Since you were summoned, the needs of the court have changed and YOU ARE NOW NO LONGER REQUIRED TO APPEAR FOR JUROR SERVICE AS SCHEDULED. YOUR SERVICE UNDER THIS SUMMONS HAS BEEN CANCELED."

HA HA Bitches.

TFM_Dale
05-22-2013, 04:20 PM
Since you were summoned, the needs of the court have changed and YOU ARE NOW NO LONGER REQUIRED TO APPEAR FOR JUROR SERVICE AS SCHEDULED. YOUR SERVICE UNDER THIS SUMMONS HAS BEEN CANCELED."

HA HA Bitches.

So bringing a noose with you does get you out of jury duty, well played!

PETE'S BROTHER
05-22-2013, 04:29 PM
i always say "i would proudly perform that civic duty". then i get one in the mail, and toss it....

jhale667
05-22-2013, 04:53 PM
Advocating the death penalty for parking violations gets you thrown off the list too, apparently... :biggrin:

FORD
05-22-2013, 05:39 PM
I probably would have advocated the death penalty for the idiots writing the parking tickets (especially the privatized franchise that does it here, while pretending to be municipal employees).

Would be just as effective at getting me out of the jury though. :biggrin:

jhale667
05-22-2013, 05:44 PM
I probably would have advocated the death penalty for the idiots writing the parking tickets (especially the privatized franchise that does it here, while pretending to be municipal employees).

Would be just as effective at getting me out of the jury though. :biggrin:

I actually showed up last time I got a summons (employer pays for jury duty, who knew), got kicked off the panel on the 2nd day IIRC.

Anonymous
05-23-2013, 12:57 PM
Since you were summoned, the needs of the court have changed and YOU ARE NOW NO LONGER REQUIRED TO APPEAR FOR JUROR SERVICE AS SCHEDULED. YOUR SERVICE UNDER THIS SUMMONS HAS BEEN CANCELED."

HA HA Bitches.

Did you tell them that you were prejudiced against any & all people, including those of your own race?

I would. "If it's a person, it's GUILTY. If it's black, yellow, red and/or blue, it's ALSO guilty. KILL IT!"

Cheers! :beers:

envy_me
05-23-2013, 02:42 PM
I'd do it if I was you. Get out of work for a while, relax, maybe bring a book :D Look at it as a vacation :D

twonabomber
05-23-2013, 02:45 PM
I've been called three times. Cases end up getting settled before the court date and I don't have to go.

PETE'S BROTHER
05-23-2013, 02:54 PM
I'd do it if I was you. Get out of work for a while, relax, maybe bring a book :D Look at it as a vacation :D

they don't pay you for it

Sensible Shoes
05-23-2013, 07:20 PM
Did you tell them that you were prejudiced against any & all people, including those of your own race?

I would. "If it's a person, it's GUILTY. If it's black, yellow, red and/or blue, it's ALSO guilty. KILL IT!"

Cheers! :beers:

I don't have to tell them ANYTHING - cause I don't have to GO!!!! Ha ha ha ha ha

Sensible Shoes
05-23-2013, 07:21 PM
I'd do it if I was you. Get out of work for a while, relax, maybe bring a book :D Look at it as a vacation :D

It's not like you have a choice either way - come or don't come. Anyway, I have no intention of missing work if I don't have to.

PETE'S BROTHER
05-23-2013, 07:34 PM
there is a chance the Arias trial will get a different jury...

Anonymous
05-23-2013, 07:42 PM
I don't have to tell them ANYTHING - cause I don't have to GO!!!! Ha ha ha ha ha

You sure you don't wanna go anyway, just so you can tell 'em that?

I bet you the expressions on their faces would make the trip VERY worthwhile.

Cheers! :beers:

envy_me
05-24-2013, 06:02 AM
It's not like you have a choice either way - come or don't come. Anyway, I have no intention of missing work if I don't have to.


But isn't it pretty easy to make yourself unfitting for it? Fake poor judgement or whatever and get out. In that way you can "choose" to go or not to go.

Sensible Shoes
05-24-2013, 07:40 AM
I think these court officials have heard every story in the book when it comes to this stuff. I doubt it makes much difference.

envy_me
05-24-2013, 07:48 AM
I think these court officials have heard every story in the book when it comes to this stuff. I doubt it makes much difference.

But what can they do? Are they really taking chances? "You sympathise with Hitler? Yeah right, we heard it before, go in now and do what you need to do"
We don't have that system here, so I don't know. But even if they are aware that many people are faking, can they really risk that they maybe aren't faking?
I don't know, I'd just be glad to get out of work for a while :D

ZahZoo
05-24-2013, 02:44 PM
But what can they do? Are they really taking chances? "You sympathise with Hitler? Yeah right, we heard it before, go in now and do what you need to do"
We don't have that system here, so I don't know. But even if they are aware that many people are faking, can they really risk that they maybe aren't faking?
I don't know, I'd just be glad to get out of work for a while :D

One reason the system works here is those running it take it seriously. It's something you don't fuck around with.

Every judge has heard every lame assed idiotic excuse and bullshit ruse to get out of jury duty. It's really not wise to piss them off. I've seen idiots try this crap before. Most judges will sternly warn them to get serious quick. Most people do. But I've seen fools push it and bam... slapped with contempt and a $500 fine... push more $1000 added and remanded into the custody of the bailiff and they got their ass thrown into jail for 24 hours. They get handcuffed and are crying that they were just joking... you can imagine the lecture the judge gives them and time to think about when not to be joking.

It's fine to joke about it here... in the real world in a real court of law... it's dead serious business not to be taken lightly.

Va Beach VH Fan
05-24-2013, 03:24 PM
The way they do it here is for a one week period you're "eligible" to be summoned for jury duty...

So what you do is call into a number every night for a week and see if you've been summoned or not....

I was eligible one time in the 10 years since I retired and didn't have to go to court....

Anonymous
05-24-2013, 03:32 PM
One reason the system works here is those running it take it seriously. It's something you don't fuck around with.

Every judge has heard every lame assed idiotic excuse and bullshit ruse to get out of jury duty. It's really not wise to piss them off. I've seen idiots try this crap before. Most judges will sternly warn them to get serious quick. Most people do. But I've seen fools push it and bam... slapped with contempt and a $500 fine... push more $1000 added and remanded into the custody of the bailiff and they got their ass thrown into jail for 24 hours. They get handcuffed and are crying that they were just joking... you can imagine the lecture the judge gives them and time to think about when not to be joking.

It's fine to joke about it here... in the real world in a real court of law... it's dead serious business not to be taken lightly.

Ah, now I get* all those judge Scalia comics... all your judges are badasses! Not even your constitution can stop them.

9956

Cheers! :beers:

*I know who judge Scalia is.

ZahZoo
05-24-2013, 04:34 PM
I won't say they are all badasses... But I've served on both criminal and civil juries before. There's serious stuff on the line for the people charged or being sued. The judges understand people would rather be living their normal lives... but they also feel that civic duty as a citizen is important for a law abiding society.

I've even watched a judge hand people their asses in family law court for not being prepared or properly legally represented.

In a custody hearing for my son many years ago... my lawyer wasn't on his game. Judge asked for a previous filing and my guy is digging around for it. I opened my folder and handed it to him. The judge spent 10 minutes ragging my lawyer and telling him he should be paying me $400 and hour to do his job. I won the case... my lawyer beat the judge in a golf game that afternoon and was still getting shit about not being prepared on the golf course. No, he didn't cut me a deal on his fucking fees...

Terry
05-26-2013, 06:36 PM
I've actually got a summons where I have to appear for selection this Tuesday, the 28th...at 7AM in the morning.

Had three others in the past. The first one I sat around all day while other jurors went up for voir dire, and the jury was selected before my name got called. The second time, I sat around for 5 hours in a huge auditorium with about 300 other people as part of a collective pool for three cases. All those cases selected juries before my name was called. The last time I made up some bullshit excuse to get out of it.

Whatever. It's my civic duty, so I'll go this time. My old lady, who loves tv cop/crime shows, always gets pissed because she never gets a summons for jury duty and I do. But my experiences thus far have been mostly sitting around for half a day and then being sent home.