What is your favorite douche?

[Sensible Shoes]

Discuss brands, or natural solutions. Also discuss the nastiest vaginal secretions you can think of, or any other gross female secrets.

Notice this did not say WHO is your favorite douche.

[BITEYOASS]

Fred Durst, I love to hate that motherfucker for some reason. Although back in the day I use to get drunk and wind up play his music for some reason, hence why I stopped drinking and stayed as far away from a Limp Bizkit album as possible. :thumb:

[Sensible Shoes]

arrrrrrrrrrrnt. You aren't listening - it was not WHO is your favorite douche. This is serious business for the ladies so get out of our thread.

[sadaist]

I had many sisters (some step) and many girlfriends over the years. I overheard or was under the impression that it's bad to use a douche unless absolutely necessary as it actually makes things worse by removing the good bacteria needed to fight off infections & such.

[envy_me]

I never used a douche. I don't think we do it much in Europe. It seems to be US thing.

I just went to wikipedia to see what it really is and we don't even have the page for it in Swedish.
We were always told never to wash inside of the vagina, just on the outside.

[cadaverdog]

I prefer the ladies use the oil and vinegar douche.

[envy_me]

I prefer the ladies use the oil and vinegar douche.

Like a sallad :D Lol, that reminded me of Al Bundy when Al was complaining that Peg keeps all girly stuff in his bathroom. "They got bottles of oil, vinegar. What do they do, make a sallad in there?"

[cadaverdog]

I never used a douche. I don't think we do it much in Europe. It seems to be US thing.

I just went to wikipedia to see what it really is and we don't even have the page for it in Swedish.
We were always told never to wash inside of the vagina, just on the outside.
Does it smell like cannery row everywhere in Sweden?

[envy_me]

Does it smell like cannery row everywhere in Sweden?

Why is that?

[sadaist]

We were always told never to wash inside of the vagina, just on the outside.

It's the mans fault for dirtying up the inside. You ladies wanna make sure a guys unit is clean before insertion. A good spit shine usually does the trick.

[sadaist]

Why is that?


Cannery Row is in California. Umm...I will describe with a photo.



http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_bLsOkiuB6CE/TEzHs9woB8I/AAAAAAAAIh8/2zHRXVy5tUY/s1600/Deadfish4.jpg

[sadaist]

haha. Found this. Fitting for this thread.

http://www.njreporter.com/pr/stinkyfishaward.jpg

[envy_me]

Cannery Row is in California. Umm...I will describe with a photo.



His question was just silly cause anyone with a little bit of knowledge knows that it isn't so.

[cadaverdog]

His question was just silly cause anyone with a little bit of knowledge knows that it isn't so.
You said they don't douche in Sweden. I can only assume there's an odor of a fishy nature in the air.

[envy_me]

You said they don't douche in Sweden. I can only assume there's an odor of a fishy nature in the air.

Come to Sweden and smell for yourself ;)

[envy_me]

Hahaha, this is fantastic. Just reading the wikipedia page on this, apparently some women see douching as birth control. Wtf??

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Douche

[ELVIS]

Here's what you get with lxquick...

http://theimpactnews.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/04/633750842632091787-douchebags.jpg


:elvis:

[ELVIS]

arrrrrrrrrrrnt. You aren't listening - it was not WHO is your favorite douche. This is serious business for the ladies so get out of our thread.

Yeah, douching is bad...

[Nickdfresh]

You said they don't douche in Sweden. I can only assume there's an odor of a fishy nature in the air.

That's because you don't know much about real vaginas. :)

[envy_me]

Not on topic but still related: how often do you just wanna kill somebody on PMS? I am both hot and cold, hungry but don't feel like eating, everything just sucks at the moment.
And how many fucking pills do I have to take for the stomach pain to go away. Damn ovaries and cramps...

[Nitro Express]

Sammy Hagar is a douche. I can't say he is my favorite though.

[Hardrock69]

My favorite douche is sand and turpentine. Guaranteed to kill all germs.

[Angel]

Not on topic but still related: how often do you just wanna kill somebody on PMS? I am both hot and cold, hungry but don't feel like eating, everything just sucks at the moment.
And how many fucking pills do I have to take for the stomach pain to go away. Damn ovaries and cramps...

Anaprox/naproxen. Best thing for cramps. Used to be prescription but not any more (here). K suffered terrible cramps. So bad that demerol injections were the only thing that worked sometimes.

[FORD]

Here's a couple of world class douches......

http://www.bloomberg.com/image/iwJHVJ8YIISI.jpg

[Igosplut]

If I wanted it to taste artificial, I'd go down on a blow up doll.....

[ELVIS]

And how many fucking pills do I have to take for the stomach pain to go away. Damn ovaries and cramps...

None, you need minerals and vitamins...

[ELVIS]

This (http://www.youngevity.net/product/50241.html) Youngevity product may be useful to some of you ladies and females...

[Igosplut]

Elvis is a douche salesman now......

[ELVIS]

No, a nutritional products salesman...

[Angel]

None, you need minerals and vitamins...

Yes....because a man really understands what some of us go through...:rolleyes:

[ELVIS]

You're stupid...

Of course a man can understand the female reproductive system...

[Angel]

You're stupid...

Of course a man can understand the female reproductive system...

You understand the pain of menstrual cramps, do you? Which is what was being discussed. I couldn't find an ingredient list for the product you linked...granted, I didn't look very hard. But it should be right on the product page. We have enough of these clients at the call centre I work at that I know....

[cadaverdog]

That's because you don't know much about real vaginas. :)
I know they smell funky when they're not properly maintained. Some smell a little funky even when they're properly maintained. I woke up one morning to an extremely funky smell emitting from the "hostess" that entertained me the night before. After a few dry heaves I tried to turn the fan on high to at least move the air around to lessen the stench but instead I got electrocuted. That was areal vagina. A real smelly vagina.

[Angel]

I know they smell funky when they're not properly maintained. Some smell a little funky even when they're properly maintained. I woke up one morning to an extremely funky smell emitting from the "hostess" that entertained me the night before. After a few dry heaves I tried to turn the fan on high to at least move the air around to lessen the stench but instead I got electrocuted. That was areal vagina. A real smelly vagina.

That was a woman that never bathed. Envy is right, douching is not good. Although there may be instances where a physician will recommend a vinegar/water douche...

Of course...like men, every woman has her own scent. Some people are just "muskier" than others. Or "clamier"....;)...that smiley isn't right, should use a pukey face. I HATE clams.

[cadaverdog]

Come to Sweden and smell for yourself ;)
Just send me a pair of your panties in a zip lock bag to keep them fresh and fragrant. I'll assume all Swedish cooter smells the same.

[ELVIS]

Of course...like men, every woman has her own scent. Some people are just "muskier" than others.

Body odor is affected by what you eat, drink, smoke, how much sun, rest and exercise you get and your stress level...

[cadaverdog]

That was a woman that never bathed. Envy is right, douching is not good. Although there may be instances where a physician will recommend a vinegar/water douche...

Of course...like men, every woman has her own scent. Some people are just "muskier" than others. Or "clamier"....;)...that smiley isn't right, should use a pukey face. I HATE clams.
"Clamier" sounds like a French clam digger. It's clammier. I finally figured out spell check.
Clams can smell even fishier than fish sometimes. Is there a safe way to alter the scent of the vag?

[ELVIS]

Clams can't smell...

[envy_me]

I know they smell funky when they're not properly maintained. Some smell a little funky even when they're properly maintained. I woke up one morning to an extremely funky smell emitting from the "hostess" that entertained me the night before. After a few dry heaves I tried to turn the fan on high to at least move the air around to lessen the stench but instead I got electrocuted. That was areal vagina. A real smelly vagina.

The hole itself shouldn't smell like anything, if it's healthy. As a heterosexual girl, I only have myself as a reference though. But that is what I assume. The hole doesn't have any smell at all. And it's the hole that you douche. If you put water in it you disturb the natural balance which causes bacterial vaginosis.

Maybe the natural vagina odor comes from the urethra. Or I don't know where it comes from. I have no idea. But not the hole. Smell your dildo ladies, you'll know :D

[envy_me]

Just send me a pair of your panties in a zip lock bag to keep them fresh and fragrant. I'll assume all Swedish cooter smells the same.

Not that many women in the US douche either. Here are some statistics:

"A 1995 survey quoted in the University of Rochester study found that 27% of U.S. women age 15 to 44 douched regularly, but that douching was more common among African-American women (over 50%) than among white women (21%), and higher douching is cited as a reason for the higher prevalence of bacterial vaginosis among African-American women, compared to the population at large."

[sadaist]

Maybe the natural vagina odor comes from the urethra. Or I don't know where it comes from. I have no idea. But not the hole. Smell your dildo ladies, you'll know :D


It comes from sweaty moist skin that gets no fresh air and is constantly squished/pressed with other skin. After a long warm day sitting in a car the space between the thigh & testicles starts to smell similar as well. It isn't unique to women. Just that women are moist there much more often than men.

Guys, next time you haven't showered and it's been super hot rub the sweat from the side of your balls. Then lie to your friend & say you were with a girl earlier and ask him to smell your fingers. $5 says he won't know the difference.

[vandeleur]

$5 says he won't be your friend when he finds out what you did :D

[envy_me]

It comes from sweaty moist skin that gets no fresh air and is constantly squished/pressed with other skin. After a long warm day sitting in a car the space between the thigh & testicles starts to smell similar as well. It isn't unique to women. Just that women are moist there much more often than men.

Guys, next time you haven't showered and it's been super hot rub the sweat from the side of your balls. Then lie to your friend & say you were with a girl earlier and ask him to smell your fingers. $5 says he won't know the difference.

Has to be it!!!
It's the same with any skin rubbing against skin, like armpits. As long as you wash the outside, the labia and everything external there is no smell.
The inside of the hole has absolutely no odor whatsoever. If the girl in question is healthy, that is.

[Angel]

"Clamier" sounds like a French clam digger. It's clammier. I finally figured out spell check.
Clams can smell even fishier than fish sometimes. Is there a safe way to alter the scent of the vag?

Haha. I thought I was making up a word, lol.

[Nickdfresh]

You're stupid...

Of course a man can understand the female reproductive system...

He's a fucking liar that doesn't understand basic fucking science you twat! Anyone that believes a veterinarian cunt that claims he conducted dozens of autopsies a day on both people and animals is a completely gullible fuckwit. Peddle your snakeoil shit elsewhere, dummy...

[Nickdfresh]

You're stupid...

Of course a man can understand the female reproductive system...

Dude, you're still waiting for a stork to bring you a babies...

[Nickdfresh]

You understand the pain of menstrual cramps, do you?....

Oh, I'm pretty sure he does... ;)

[Nickdfresh]

Body odor is affected by what you eat, drink, smoke, how much sun, rest and exercise you get and your stress level...

And the shitty, overpriced pseudo-science advert supplements you take...

[Angel]

Oh, I'm pretty sure he does... ;)

:lmao:

[Seshmeister]

Guys, next time you haven't showered and it's been super hot rub the sweat from the side of your balls. Then lie to your friend & say you were with a girl earlier and ask him to smell your fingers. $5 says he won't know the difference.

Actually no thanks.

I don't think the people I hang around with would appreciate that but hey it takes all types...

[cadaverdog]

Good job Nick. Four posts in a douche thread and not a one of them douche related. One dig at me and three at Elvis. You're batting 1000 here. Keep up the good work.

[Nickdfresh]

Good job Nick. Four posts in a douche thread and not a one of them douche related. One dig at me and three at Elvis. You're batting 1000 here. Keep up the good work.

You're welcome!

I wonder what Imapussy uses for a douche? :)

[cadaverdog]

You're welcome!

I wonder what Imapussy uses for a douche? :)
Don't know. What do you use?

[envy_me]

You're welcome!

I wonder what Imapussy uses for a douche? :)

He made a fantasic tampon thread here a couple of months ago :D

[Nickdfresh]

Don't know. What do you use?

Just soap and water. You should try it...

[cadaverdog]

Just soap and water. You should try it...
I wash my dick and balls with Irish spring. I don't have a vag to douche.

[Nickdfresh]

I wash my dick and balls with Irish spring. I don't have a vag to douche.

That's no way to talk to a fellow Irish Spring user... :)

Irish Spring: makes your balls smell like they have the luck of the Irish!

[ELVIS]

Get a room or send him a PM...

[cadaverdog]

Get a room or send him a PM...
Jealous?

[Angel]

Jealous?

Cadaverdouche... ;)

Sorry, just couldn't resist after you brought it up!

[cadaverdog]

Cadaverdouche... ;)

Sorry, just couldn't resist after you brought it up!
That's what they use at the morgue to freshen up the female cadavers.

[TFM_Dale]

female cadavers.

AKA c-dog's e-harmony.

[cadaverdog]

AKA c-dog's e-harmony.
Cadaver women are the best. You don't have to wine and dine them before sex and you can bury them afterwards.

[TFM_Dale]

Cadaver women are the best. You don't have to wine and dine them before sex and you can bury them afterwards.

That is just wrong lol, you made me spit coffee on my tablet!

[Angel]

C-dog, you fucking kill me, man!

[Anonymous]

That is just wrong lol, you made me spit coffee on my tablet!

He has a knack for posting the absolutest wrongest shit, doesn't he? :lol:

His "cadaverjuice" line still gives me nightmares, even after all these months.

Cheers! :beers:

[Angel]

He has a knack for posting the absolutest wrongest shit, doesn't he? :lol:

His "cadaverjuice" line still gives me nightmares, even after all these months.

Cheers! :beers:

My warped sense of humour loves it!

:beer: