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View Full Version : Catherine Zeta-Jones' pussy might kill you!



sadaist
06-02-2013, 03:57 PM
Michael Douglas says cunnilingus gives you cancer – but is he right?

Michael Douglas, who was diagnosed with throat cancer in 2010, says oral sex was the cause. But what's the risk?


http://www.guardian.co.uk/news/datablog/2013/jun/02/michael-douglas-oral-sex-cancer-facts?CMP=twt_gu


Actors are often accused of being irritatingly reticent about their private lives – unwilling to satisfy fans' and journalists' curiosity about aspects of their life off the film sets.

But that's not something that can be said of Michael Douglas' latest interview, with Xan Brooks, for the Guardian. Asked whether he ascribed his 2010 throat cancer diagnosis to a lifetime of drinking and smoking, he replied particularly frankly:

"No. Because without wanting to get too specific, this particular cancer is caused by HPV [human papillomavirus], which actually comes about from cunnilingus."

"I did worry if the stress caused by my son's incarceration didn't help trigger it. But yeah, it's a sexually transmitted disease that causes cancer. And if you have it, cunnilingus is also the best cure for it."

So, now that's out there, how much of it is true? Is oral sex linked to mouth and throat cancers? Is there a difference between the genders? And what can be done? We've dug into the stats – especially this NHS guide – to dig out a few answers.

....blah blah blah. Click the link if you wanna read more. I'd rather post hot pics of Zeta-Jones.

https://encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcSopxQ-wSQxNYfnRj9aCdD7q9nCxxRZp8uikHZ8g-2nlhxJvEkR

sadaist
06-02-2013, 03:59 PM
hmmm...I'd risk it.


http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-SpefoEeSrGU/Tad1AcREspI/AAAAAAAAtJQ/duAGtEb-SLs/s1600/catherine_zeta-jones.jpg

PETE'S BROTHER
06-02-2013, 04:19 PM
chewin' one broad's vag with a chance of cancer?

sadaist
06-02-2013, 04:22 PM
chewin' one broad's vag with a chance of cancer?



I'd eat her arse too! Stick my tongue so far up there I could tell you what flavor gum she was chewin.

PETE'S BROTHER
06-02-2013, 04:23 PM
I'd eat her arse too! Stick my tongue so far up there I could tell you what flavor gum she was chewin.

Kevlar tongue condom

BITEYOASS
06-02-2013, 06:28 PM
Oh please! Didn't Mikey snort coke with the best of them in Hollywood back in the 70's? When nose candy was the common party favor. And who knows what shit they used to cut that drug.

BITEYOASS
06-02-2013, 06:29 PM
And yes, Catherine's poon I would pound till sundown. :cool1:

Igosplut
06-02-2013, 06:39 PM
So is he gonna sue??

envy_me
06-02-2013, 06:55 PM
I'd kill my man if he said something like that about me. I'd tell him that it's not my pussy causing his throat cancer, it's probably him talking too much thats causing it. And that he should talk less.

PETE'S BROTHER
06-02-2013, 06:57 PM
I'd kill my/somebody else's husband i'm bangin' man if he said something like that about me. I'd tell him that it's not my pussy causing his throat cancer, it's probably him talking too much thats causing it. And that he should talk less.

fixed

jhale667
06-02-2013, 07:50 PM
So, munching the wrong box will give it to you, but you can be cured simply by munching another box? Doesn't sound too horrible...

jhale667
06-02-2013, 07:51 PM
So is he gonna sue??

Can he? It's not like she made him :eatit:

envy_me
06-02-2013, 07:59 PM
Can he? It's not like she made him :eatit:

How do you know that? ;)

jhale667
06-02-2013, 07:59 PM
How do you know that? ;)

They would have said so on TMZ! :biggrin:

Zing!
06-02-2013, 08:02 PM
Somehow I think Dr. Ed would agree...

envy_me
06-02-2013, 08:41 PM
They would have said so on TMZ! :biggrin:

Those kinds of kinky stuff are not something you share with everybody :D

jhale667
06-02-2013, 09:00 PM
Those kinds of kinky stuff are not something you share with everybody :D

Yes, that's general reserved for the "bonus plan"... ;)

twonabomber
06-02-2013, 09:08 PM
Hopefully he didn't get it by researching for his role as Liberace...

FORD
06-02-2013, 09:37 PM
Well... he did say "cunnilingus". Which is something Liberace never did.

envy_me
06-03-2013, 06:11 AM
Well... he did say "cunnilingus". Which is something Liberace never did.

But I was wondering, if having sex gives this to some women that means it's coming from the penis. So maybe Liberace got it directly from the source, just skipping the middlehand, which is vagina.

flappo
06-03-2013, 06:19 AM
i love it when you talk dirty

envy_me
06-03-2013, 07:15 AM
that was nothing...

vandeleur
06-03-2013, 07:45 AM
So if you munch with a metal pick in ya mouth your pretty much fucked ... Well not literally .

ELVIS
06-03-2013, 08:31 AM
Cancer isn't caused by pussy or metal pics...

DLR Bridge
06-03-2013, 08:40 AM
So if you munch with a metal pick in ya mouth your pretty much fucked ...

Only if she's sitting on the console at 5150.

Seshmeister
06-03-2013, 10:43 AM
http://newsthump.com/2013/06/03/health-campaigners-call-for-catherine-zeta-jones-vagina-to-be-offered-in-plain-packaging/


Health campaigners call for Catherine Zeta-Jones’ vagina to be offered in ‘plain packaging’



http://cdn.newsthump.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/06/Zeta-Jones-cancer-vagina.jpg

After Hollywood star Michael Douglas claimed that performing cunnilingus on his wife gave him throat cancer, health campaigners have called on Catherine Zeta-Jones’ vagina to be placed in less appealing packaging.



The Welsh actress has been advised to comply with recent legislation and offer her marital wares from behind a shuttered cabinet with a superfluously grim biological image detailing the repercussions of direct interaction.

Health campaigner, Sheila Mount, denied the move was a knee-jerk reaction to a sexual act which repeatedly produces its very own knee-jerk reaction.

“By no means is this a headline grabbing response to a concern that affects only one man – Michael Douglas – it’s a headline grabbing response which affects Catherine too,” she told us.

“Giving head to a Welshwoman is going to be a noisy affair at the best of times, but can you imagine it being conducting beneath an industrial style cabinet with some old scroat in between your legs?”

“Her Welsh ‘valley’ should be have clear warning signs.”

Zeta-Jones’ carcinogenic vagina

Sex administrator and nightclub owner Peter Stringfellow, claimed the request for Zeta-Jones to package her leisure area where no-one can see it was a restriction of trade.

“It would be like tell a Lord he can’t do whatever he likes for money – totally unfair.”

“Would she get a job at my establishment if she was packaged in a plain brown bag?”

“Not a chance.”

envy_me
06-03-2013, 11:14 AM
If Catherine Zeta Jones vagina will give you cancer, I wonder what Courtney Loves vagina will give you :595:

PETE'S BROTHER
06-03-2013, 11:17 AM
the heebeegeebees

envy_me
06-03-2013, 11:19 AM
Probably plague..

PETE'S BROTHER
06-03-2013, 11:22 AM
or a punch in the face

envy_me
06-03-2013, 11:23 AM
She really looks like a disaster.

flappo
06-03-2013, 11:24 AM
that was nothing...


hahah

you saucy bit of fluff :D

Jérôme Frenchise
06-03-2013, 11:26 AM
Either Mike Douglas is very weirdly kidding, or this is scary as shit. :umm:

VetteLS5
06-03-2013, 11:36 AM
If Catherine Zeta Jones vagina will give you cancer, I wonder what Courtney Loves vagina will give you :595:

A desire to blow your head off with a shotgun, apparently.

cadaverdog
06-03-2013, 12:24 PM
Micheal Douglas didn't get cancer from eating pussy. He might have developed the mental illness he appears to be suffering from by eating pussy. That sweet young pussy drove that old bastard crazy.

jhale667
06-03-2013, 01:15 PM
Cancer isn't caused by pussy or metal pics...


Metal picks not withstanding - weren't you once in the medical field?
HPV definitely causes cervical cancer, so it's not that much of a stretch to think there MAYBE could be something caused by regularly sticking your tongue in an infected site over an extended period of time... like CZJ's hoo-hah.



Notice he didn't say he got it from munching HER specifically, though...

cadaverdog
06-03-2013, 02:48 PM
Eating pussy causes cancer. I guess all the lesbians out there will just have to diddle each other. You know some of them won't even use a dildo they hate cock so much. I must have spelled dildo right because the spell checker didn't kick in.

PETE'S BROTHER
06-03-2013, 02:53 PM
Eating pussy causes cancer. I guess all the lesbians out there will just have to diddle each other. You know some of them won't even use a dildo they hate cock so much. I must have spelled dildo right because the spell checker didn't kick in.

not directed toward your family, just goin' with the "vibe" :biggrin:


10040

cadaverdog
06-03-2013, 02:59 PM
not directed toward your family, just goin' with the "vibe" :biggrin:


10040
We say "your mama" all the time where I live. Even my roommates mother joins in. She even says it to her son.

Seshmeister
06-03-2013, 03:00 PM
HPV can also increase the risk of penis cancer.

I think penis cancer has to be fairly high up in the list of things you really don't want to get, fortunately it's very rare but it even existing is a bit troubling.

Good name for a metal band though...

envy_me
06-03-2013, 03:04 PM
HPV can also increase the risk of penis cancer.

I think penis cancer has to be fairly high up in the list of things you really don't want to get, fortunately it's very rare but it even existing is a bit troubling.

Good name for a metal band though...

:lmao:

cadaverdog
06-03-2013, 03:05 PM
HPV can also increase the risk of penis cancer.

I think penis cancer has to be fairly high up in the list of things you really don't want to get, fortunately it's very rare but it even existing is a bit troubling.

Good name for a metal band though...
If you had the gene that caused dick cancer would you cut it off?

Angel
06-03-2013, 03:47 PM
Eating pussy causes cancer. I guess all the lesbians out there will just have to diddle each other. You know some of them won't even use a dildo they hate cock so much. I must have spelled dildo right because the spell checker didn't kick in.

Eating HPV infected...and it's not a hatred of cock for some, it's a dislike of penetration, often due to tightness and lack of elasticity.
:rolleyes:

FORD
06-03-2013, 04:17 PM
Well you can't expect a guy who fucks socks to be an expert on vaginas. :biggrin:

cadaverdog
06-03-2013, 05:00 PM
Well you can't expect a guy who fucks socks to be an expert on vaginas. :biggrin:
:deadhorse:

cadaverdog
06-03-2013, 05:03 PM
Eating HPV infected...and it's not a hatred of cock for some, it's a dislike of penetration, often due to tightness and lack of elasticity.
:rolleyes:
Some don't hate cock. They just hate men. Some don't hate cock or men. They just prefer pussy. I can dig that.

FORD
06-03-2013, 05:05 PM
Didn't know you were such a GnR fan....


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u8X76NRiQLQ

cadaverdog
06-03-2013, 05:13 PM
Didn't know you were such a GnR fan....


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u8X76NRiQLQ:focus:

Seshmeister
06-03-2013, 07:21 PM
If you had the gene that caused dick cancer would you cut it off?

If I had a gene that meant I had an 88% chance of getting it and it would probably kill me AND I could get a 'cock job' which would give me an even better cock then I guess I probably would...

cadaverdog
06-03-2013, 08:37 PM
If I had a gene that meant I had an 88% chance of getting it and it would probably kill me AND I could get a 'cock job' which would give me an even better cock then I guess I probably would...For a second I thought you said you had looked into getting a "cockjob" already.

Seshmeister
06-03-2013, 09:13 PM
It was suggested after I had to have the second size reduction operation...

cadaverdog
06-03-2013, 09:43 PM
It was suggested after I had to have the second size reduction operation...
I think that bullshit story needs a size reduction operation.

Dan
06-03-2013, 11:59 PM
No way Will I Stopping Eating Pussy.I Love It,I Need It and It Feels So Good.:D

FORD
06-04-2013, 02:26 AM
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XR9mc9Pp5hw

sadaist
06-04-2013, 03:12 AM
Eating HPV infected...and it's not a hatred of cock for some, it's a dislike of penetration, often due to tightness and lack of elasticity.
:rolleyes:



If a chick s afraid of cocks because her pussy is too small she should just date a cop or deputy sheriff.

FORD
06-04-2013, 01:34 PM
If a chick s afraid of cocks because her pussy is too small she should just date a cop or deputy sheriff.

.......Or one of those "compensating" gun nuts.

envy_me
06-04-2013, 01:53 PM
If a chick s afraid of cocks because her pussy is too small she should just date a cop or deputy sheriff.

Especially one who's had a baby...

envy_me
06-04-2013, 01:55 PM
Some don't hate cock. They just hate men. Some don't hate cock or men. They just prefer pussy. I can dig that.

Isn't it all about attraction and not that much about hate. I have never met a lesbian who hates men or cock. They are just attracted to women.

Angel
06-04-2013, 02:32 PM
Especially one who's had a baby...

You do realize I'm not talking about myself, don't you? The women I know who don't like penetration have never been with a man, let alone given birth. :rolleyes:

Angel
06-04-2013, 02:33 PM
Isn't it all about attraction and not that much about hate. I have never met a lesbian who hates men or cock. They are just attracted to women.

That is exactly it. Women's bodies are more attractive than men's. There's no hate of anything involved.

TFM_Dale
06-04-2013, 02:36 PM
That is exactly it. Women's bodies are more attractive than men's. There's no hate of anything involved.

Total agreement here :)

envy_me
06-04-2013, 02:41 PM
Total agreement here :)


I can't agree on that one, but I am not a man or a lesbian :D nothing better then feeling a hard cock against your... never mind :biggrin:

vandeleur
06-04-2013, 02:58 PM
I can't agree on that one, but I am not a man or a lesbian:

As both*I have to say that a woman's body is where it's at :D

*
Technically am not a lesbian but I am willing to help out when they are busy.

Von Halen
06-04-2013, 03:01 PM
I can't agree on that one, but I am not a man or a lesbian :D nothing better then feeling a hard cock against your... never mind :biggrin:

Thanks. I am now driving with a boner.

envy_me
06-04-2013, 03:02 PM
Thanks. I am now driving with a boner.

Driving AND surfing Army at the same time? :D if the cops catch you, you'll know what I'm talking about :biggrin:

vandeleur
06-04-2013, 03:07 PM
Thanks. I am now driving with a boner.

If it helps when envy pm'd me her pic she looked like hagrid out of Harry potter :D



Envy ,I keed I keed

jhale667
06-04-2013, 03:15 PM
I can't agree on that one, but I am not a man or a lesbian :D nothing better then feeling a hard cock against your... never mind :biggrin:

Kelly Monaco-esque muff? :biggrin:

envy_me
06-04-2013, 03:18 PM
If it helps when envy pm'd me her pic she looked like hagrid out of Harry potter :D



Envy ,I keed I keed

Shut up!!! That never happend

binnie
06-04-2013, 03:18 PM
Catherine Zeta Jones?

In case anyone is in any doubt, yes I would. With bells on.

binnie
06-04-2013, 03:19 PM
Given that we know that Zeta has a killer pussy will she be getting back together with Sean Connery to make 'Entrapment 2'? :D

binnie
06-04-2013, 03:20 PM
Shut up!!! That never happend

Sure it did. Vandeuler sent it on to me.

Big 'ol grizzly bear........... :D

envy_me
06-04-2013, 03:21 PM
Kelly Monaco-esque muff? :biggrin:

I don't know that girls name, but you remember who I was talking about, right?

vandeleur
06-04-2013, 03:21 PM
Shut up!!! That never happend

Am joking Hun ... We're cool :)

vandeleur
06-04-2013, 03:22 PM
Sure it did. Vandeuler sent it on to me.

Big 'ol grizzly bear........... :D

Snitch :lol:

Kristy
06-04-2013, 03:44 PM
I still don't get this because I'm that lazy to read the story. Is Douglas claiming he developed oral cancer from feasting on wife pussy or...

Is this an excuse to say "yeah, I was feasting on wife pussy" when the cold reality is he was doing <i>something else<i> and with someone else?

Those are some fine rim job lips on the pretty mouth of his.

I could care less. The man is a shit actor.

binnie
06-04-2013, 03:46 PM
I still don't get this because I'm that lazy to read the story. Is Douglas claiming he developed oral cancer from feasting on wife pussy or...

Is this an excuse to say "yeah, I was feasting on wife pussy" when the cold reality is he was doing <i>something else<i> and with someone else?

Those are some fine rim job lips on the pretty mouth of his.

I could care less. The man is a shit actor.

I had you pegged as a fan of the 'Streets of San Francisco' (or whatever that shitty TV show was called). :D

jhale667
06-04-2013, 03:48 PM
I've seen this confirmed by more than one doctor since the story broke. It can happen. Usually takes 10 to 20 years to manifest as cancer, so may or may not be wifey's fault...

Kristy
06-04-2013, 03:50 PM
?????

jhale667
06-04-2013, 03:52 PM
I don't know that girls name, but you remember who I was talking about, right?

Oh, yes I do... :baaa:

Kristy
06-04-2013, 03:52 PM
I still don't get it. So wizened Douglas says his likes feast on pussy when he might as well been blowing Hollywood producers in studio back lots?

I think the latter is more of the real story here.

binnie
06-04-2013, 03:52 PM
I've seen this confirmed by more than one doctor since the story broke. It can happen. Usually takes 10 to 20 years to manifest as cancer, so may or may not be wifey's fault...

If you're eating out someone's pussy for 20 years straight, surely halitosis is a more immediate problem than cancer? :D

jhale667
06-04-2013, 03:56 PM
If you're eating out someone's pussy for 20 years straight, surely halitosis is a more immediate problem than cancer? :D

10 to 20 years straight? Try tongue fatigue. :bigwink:

Bob_R
06-04-2013, 04:32 PM
I could care less. The man is a shit actor.

The stupidity amazes me. :nuts:

Bob_R
06-04-2013, 04:38 PM
BTW, if eating pussy kills. I'm a goner.

clarathecarrot
06-04-2013, 06:35 PM
Eating HPV infected...and it's not a hatred of cock for some, it's a dislike of penetration, often due to tightness and lack of elasticity.
:rolleyes:

DUDE!!!!...we can argue over some things and agree on others the love we share is all that matters...love, what is it....?

Love, is too strong of a word how about...looohve..or,.loovay..no, no, no,... I don't like those either...ahhh....I know...sassafactive interpolation of informative matters between two individuals of and towards comparision of a belief that once today is over we will be on the same idea forthright quest again without variance of a degree towards the goals we have set as a team.

Much better!

What was the question ...and I may need to keep my, "who hah"....as installed from birth,so I hope that doesn't truncate our affair that never was or will be.


We will always have, Paris.What the hell does that even mean...Paris...

I LIKE PIE!

jhale667
06-04-2013, 06:49 PM
BTW, if eating pussy kills. I'm a goner.

I think a lot of us are in trouble.

Von Halen
06-04-2013, 06:50 PM
Driving AND surfing Army at the same time? :D

I am a professional. I drive and surf the Army on my computer, while texting and talking on the phone!

PETE'S BROTHER
06-04-2013, 06:53 PM
I am a professional. I drive and surf the Army on my computer, while texting and talking on the phone!

with a boner...

Von Halen
06-04-2013, 07:00 PM
with a boner...

Yes!!

vandeleur
06-04-2013, 07:06 PM
The Douglas thing was inevitable , It cant be just the Army Where a cunt makes ya sick :biggrin:

clarathecarrot
06-04-2013, 07:12 PM
Now there is all of these Professionals on the TeeVee saying that isn't what MD ment that this HPV Cancer can come from 15 yeas ago...lol...so Zeta got on the old man and started some shit about her pussy being bad and a killer...lol....

Why not 2 years 17 years 45 years ago...LOLOLOLOLL.... how long have they been married ......14.5 years ...lol....


I love this shit!!

BITEYOASS
06-04-2013, 07:13 PM
Oh c'mon! You would shag Cathering Zeta-Jones till' your knob fell off. :biggrin:

clarathecarrot
06-04-2013, 07:19 PM
I liked her looks before she got married then she just looked like a paid off gold digger (hollyood contract marriage) to me...fine for her, she knows where the money is and the baby insures wealth even in the worse divorce or prenup...lol.

and ..yes before the marriage I have always persued her body style...never liked the thin athletic type give me a girl who can bounce her ass around and drive me crazy...I would have hit that in a New York second. ...and made sure, it lasted at least, thru the weekend.

Seshmeister
06-04-2013, 07:41 PM
I liked her looks before she got married then she just looked like a paid off gold digger (hollyood contract marriage) to me...fine for her, she knows where the money is and the baby insures wealth even in the worse divorce or prenup...lol.



She would have been better off marrying an old baseball star rather than an old actor...


http://www.sportsmansdaily.com/images/thumbs/rustykuntz.jpg

Coyote
06-04-2013, 07:59 PM
I think a lot of us are in trouble.

I'm looking for an affordable grave, just in case...

Sensible Shoes
06-04-2013, 08:20 PM
I am a professional. I drive and surf the Army on my computer, while texting and talking on the phone!

are not.

sadaist
06-05-2013, 12:06 AM
I;ve been depressed & suicidal. Any ladies wanna help me kill myself?

Von Halen
06-05-2013, 12:28 AM
are not.

Am too.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

envy_me
06-05-2013, 03:00 AM
The Douglas thing was inevitable , It cant be just the Army Where a cunt makes ya sick :biggrin:

:lmao: :lmao: :lmao:

Nitro Express
06-05-2013, 03:02 AM
Michael Douglas's ExWife came out and said It wasn't me! She claims to have never had that type of virus. In other words, "Hey my pussy was clean. Mike lapped it up like a thirsty dog but my pussy never infected him or gave him cancer. I swear. You can't make this shit up.

Nitro Express
06-05-2013, 03:08 AM
Michael Douglas blames his oral cancer on bad pussy. His bipolar wife is probably loving it right now. Eddie Van Halen blames his cancer on a metal guitar pick. It's never the lit tobacco products. Maybe it's Val's pussy that turned Ed's teeth black and made them fall out. Or maybe celluloid guitar pick causes that.

envy_me
06-05-2013, 11:58 AM
are not.


http://www.4smileys.com/smileys/food-smileys/cucumber.gif

ace diamond
06-05-2013, 07:53 PM
No way Will I Stopping Eating Pussy.I Love It,I Need It and It Feels So Good.:D
Flame On, Dan!
:hagar1:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8bOp8TqPq7c

sadaist
06-06-2013, 01:29 AM
Flame On, Dan!



Oh shit. Ace in da house! What's up AD? Good to see you lurking again & giving the mods grief.