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View Full Version : The Annual CPAC Teabagger Stand Up Comedy Show



FORD
03-06-2014, 07:31 PM
First up, it's John "I Am The Walrus" Bolton... who says "We will NEVER stop trying to make up bullshit about Benghazi!"


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S0GaEm2M9gY

FORD
03-06-2014, 07:35 PM
And now, the musical stylings of the Anti-Dylan..........


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2LBbxi0Bc3E

Has this asshole ever sang into a microphone before, or did the KKKochs forget to hire somebody to run the soundboard? :biggrin:

FORD
03-06-2014, 07:38 PM
Jabba says We Republican KKKoch funded bigots aren't intolerant. The Libruls are!!!


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BaybuIu0HY0

FORD
03-06-2014, 07:40 PM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rdsofx8jVl0

FORD
03-06-2014, 07:42 PM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n6NwDpg5Sc0

FORD
03-06-2014, 07:45 PM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UxX75RzJtuU

FORD
03-06-2014, 07:47 PM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C9kHJ6cRzdE

FORD
03-06-2014, 07:55 PM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SWDjA6xka64

FORD
03-06-2014, 08:12 PM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xmqex_hjm84

...I suspect he will be hearing from Bon Jovi's lawyers though. Jon doesn't want his songs used at Repuke conventions.

FORD
03-06-2014, 10:01 PM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CDi9fFhC2po

Nitro Express
03-07-2014, 02:39 AM
Hollow theater is all it is. This is my rifle this is my gun. This one is for shooting and this one is for fun! I would be impressed if Turtleman could shoot an apple off Trump's rat's nest of a head at 100 meters.

FORD
03-07-2014, 12:17 PM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dw6aq0GQgAU

FORD
03-07-2014, 12:20 PM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cvSvqTZSGFk

FORD
03-07-2014, 12:23 PM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YBSud3pMAK8

FORD
03-07-2014, 12:26 PM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=53QtOgXCZXA

FORD
03-07-2014, 12:47 PM
http://upload.democraticunderground.com/imgs/2014/140307-at-cpac-paul-ryan-justifies-safety-net-cuts.jpg

Nitro Express
03-07-2014, 02:31 PM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dw6aq0GQgAU

Huckabee supports Common Core which is nothing more than a corporate takeover of the public education system. I'm tired of these right wing hypocrites who praise family values but support a system that hijacks the schools from the ELECTED school boards and the public. These guys aren't about democracy, they are about corporations and they are hypocrites! They hide behind religion and sell the sugar but there's a rotten onion under the sugar coating.

God will not be mocked. Thou shall not bear false witness. Turn the other cheek. Forgive your enemies. I'm not exactly seeing any biblical or christlike values in this bunch of blow holes. Their god is power and money. Beware of false prophets and by their fruits you shall know them.

Va Beach VH Fan
03-07-2014, 03:58 PM
If in November 2016 the right wonders why it lost yet another Presidential election, this will be a good starting point....

Big problem for GOP. Most important #CPAC2014 panel. Topic: minority outreach. View: largely empty room. pic.twitter.com/LQKQ0QwwVc— John Hudak (@JohnJHudak) March 6, 2014

FORD
03-07-2014, 04:24 PM
Not too surprising, considering that session last year told blacks that they were "better off" as slaves, because they had food, shelter, and steady employment.

FORD
03-07-2014, 04:27 PM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rB0qlP2GGEg

FORD
03-07-2014, 04:31 PM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JF_2NCtSMd0

FORD
03-07-2014, 04:35 PM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NfvIEMuyvUY

Uhhh..... Mikey, did you forget the Repukelican party was able to steal the 2004 election because that discrimination bullshit was on the ballot in 11 fucking states??

Nitro Express
03-07-2014, 06:03 PM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JF_2NCtSMd0

Political theater. It's a formal function where a suit and tie are appropriate but no, I'm going to try and look like a rancher with a leather jacket and denim shirt to appeal to the grass roots PEOPLE. It cracks me up. Hawken styled muzzeloaders. Dressy ranch wear. What's missing is a coon skin hat and banjo music. This shit is as fake as a $3 bill. Shit if I was a speaker I would dress like Grizzly Adams and have a flag in one hand and a rifle in another. I might even fire a shot into the ceiling to WOW! the audience and show I'm going to be tough on Putin.

You know there is a thing called the cheese factor. It tends to appear when a poor product is oversold. It doesn't matter how seasoned the salesman is, the cheese always appears. When you see the cheese it's time to grab your wallet and run like hell.

FORD
03-07-2014, 06:19 PM
Political theater. It's a formal function where a suit and tie are appropriate but no, I'm going to try and look like a rancher with a leather jacket and denim shirt to appeal to the grass roots PEOPLE. It cracks me up. Hawken styled muzzeloaders. Dressy ranch wear. What's missing is a coon skin hat and banjo music.

You did see the Anti-Dylan "folk singer" above, right? :biggrin:

Nitro Express
03-07-2014, 06:26 PM
They have folk singers? Hmmmm. Trying to convert some disenfranchised Obama Democrats? Usually these Republicans have a Toby Kieth character show up and sing about "putting a boot in your ass".

Nitro Express
03-07-2014, 06:29 PM
And now, the musical stylings of the Anti-Dylan..........


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2LBbxi0Bc3E

Has this asshole ever sang into a microphone before, or did the KKKochs forget to hire somebody to run the soundboard? :biggrin:

I would have taken the rifle and blew this guy off the stage. He sucks! My ears are bleeding! Shooting annoying folk singers. Sounds Republican to me.

FORD
03-07-2014, 06:32 PM
Truth is, that even the right wing "folk singer" isn't an original idea. That was done in a movie called "Bob Roberts" over 20 years ago........


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YZXFdikh-70

FORD
03-07-2014, 07:51 PM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ihw8U0QYGi8

Guess these idiots don't know where Chuck & Dave's daddy got his money from in the first place?

FORD
03-07-2014, 07:54 PM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cxp6EOIuB9s

Hardrock69
03-07-2014, 07:58 PM
Well, this is really some show. :hee:.


Such idiocy concentrated in one place....jacks The Stupid up to levels approaching mind erasure......

But here is the thing. I would not doubt it if idiots like Cruz, and his co-morons were being funded by the Far Left.

Sure, that sounds like rubbish, but think about it:


If you have some group like say.....the TeaButtholes....who are a sad mix of televangelism and witch-hunting, minus a functional awareness of reality.....
and you put them on the public stage so they can play out their little part in the political "theater", they are so extreme that other Republicans are forced to a more centrist position on a lot of issues......

They will try (and have tried) to distance themselves from the Teafuckers, and so they must not be seen as "Cuckoo Conservatives", which is how the Teafuckers are viewed by the world at large. :lmao:

So they most definitely will not want to be seen as extremists, and will slowly and quietly move back into their corners, away from the Fascist Crazy Room.

Note today's big bunch of hilarity:

http://www.washingtonpost.com/blogs/the-fix/wp/2014/03/07/john-mccain-vs-ted-cruz-round-203/


This is a good example of their extremism causing the Republican Party to turn on itself.

When is Ted Cruz going to start speaking reverentially about Adolph Hitler?

All he has to do is open his stupid, mindless yap, and he destroys the Republican Party's chances even further.....the same "shooting themselves in the foot" I have been marveling at for SIX FUCKING YEARS NOW.

Cruz is the public figurehead of The Stupid. What comes forth out of his rabid, foam-at-the-mouth asshole....the one on his face....angers the head honchos of the Republican Party....those congressmen who have a lot of power and are firmly entrenched in the corporate political scene in Dee See.....because it advertises the notion that "All Republicans believe in irrational BS that makes no sense"......or "The Republican Party are a bunch of racist fucks who lack the dim Cro-Mag awareness that they look like assholes...".....

Never mind that there IS truth to those notions....they just do not want anyone to think that.....the last thing they want is anyone to advertise the fact that their platform is "flawed and....imperfect".


SO.....all the fucktards (Bachmann, Rush, Ann-The Man, etc.) who scream and cry the longest about things that make no sense are continually providing an undercurrent of idiocy in the public background, with occasional spikes in The Stupid by people like Cruz, Ryan, and other Retardlicans who have "name value" in the media....

Cruz is in the current dust-up and so we see an increase in political media static which will die back down to the normal undercurrent murmerings of The Stupid......

The thing they count on is fast disappearing.

Sure, they have a voter-base with a lot of unintelligent hillbillies who are easily misled with talk about trivial things like guns, or war.....but with the increase in technology over just the past decade.....all of the current generation are growing up with the internet and they are not so easily bamboozled as their computer illiterate forbears.....


If there is ever a question of fact, or a questioning of the "official" version of some event, it is all too easy for them to find opposing viewpoints, opposing evidence, etc. (JFK? 9/11? Miley Cyrus Fingering herself? I digress....)

Even The Stupid has access to more information these days....being bereft of grey matter there is no real benefit for them, but they ARE exposed to more information.....

With anyone able to research the true history of religions...the facts (not the lies espoused by "insert religion here") are easily available for anyone to read......people are better informed and not so easily sucked into scams like Jesus, Mohammed, Satan, etc.


Seriously.....THAT is the 900-ton gorilla in the room.


The Teafucks are thinking that as long as they stand up in front of the world in a 1,000-dollar suit, a starched white shirt, a clean-cut appearance, and talk about Christian family values, loving America, and how the "Libruls heh.." are "deestroyin our Amer'can way o' life...", people will believe absolutely anything they say....no matter how stupid.....

Increasingly our society is NOT that stupid.....that political strategy may have worked in the 1950s, but not in the 21st-centuray.....and so the tactic backfires....so that once rising stars of the Fascist Party fade away into obscurity and retire to run for county Mayor of Farmville, Kansas.....

While the leaders of the Republican Party, who have a bit more sense, will be around much longer, as they have plugged into The Matrix, and are sucking the financial cock.......they are in it for the LONG haul......they are going ALL.....THE....WAY........


So yes, Ford.....this is a Stand Up Comedy show.....perfect title

What needs to happen is that Michelle Batshit needs to be the unwilling yet sudden star of a leaked sex tape showing her blowing Bob Dole in his wheelchair....with him drooling on her while his eyes roll up in the back of his head.....


Hope springs eternal....and The Stupid....is forever....


:lol:

Nitro Express
03-08-2014, 04:19 AM
The right and left hate each other but they both are bought by the same big money. Why hasn't the republican party gone full force against IRS abuse or refused to support unconstitutional acts like the NDAA? Because they want to be able to intimidate protesters and political opponents as well. What both parties see as their biggest enemy is an organized grass roots movement against them. They fear the public. So they want to be able to intimidate any grass roots organizing.

FORD
03-08-2014, 12:47 PM
Spewing the standard Randtard fairy tales, naturally......


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jonBJwmX7Ks

FORD
03-08-2014, 12:50 PM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IFTwGN46MjI

FORD
03-08-2014, 12:54 PM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x2PfwaNX_oQ

Must be opposite day at C(lown)PAC.....

FORD
03-08-2014, 01:00 PM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tAxAT9HITKs

Hardrock69
03-08-2014, 03:55 PM
Noot actually made some sense..not that the fascists will listen.

He said "If we are solely anti-Obama, we will not get the votes we need this year, and if we are solely anti-Hillary in 2016, we will guarantee a loss in that election as well...."

Not word for word, but pretty close.

He is being forced by extremism to back away from the fascists and adopt a more moderate tone.....

The fatal flaw in that admirable statement is that no matter what they do, they are going to lose.

Their particular mixture of snake-oil, fear-mongering, and Christian voodoo is from a bygone era.....they may not at present be shown the door, but they are certainly being handed their hat.....by the voting public who are not firmly committed to one party or another.....the coveted "undecided" voters.....

I almost would say Noot's statement is a portent of evil tidings for the Retardlicans......I predict that we have yet to hear the fearfully definitive mewlings from the management at the RNC headquarters......they will sound the alarm louder and louder as they suffer abject defeat....but by then it will be too late....

The Retardlicans are going to suffer this November, then in 2016 Hillary will win by a landslide, and if she continues the political strategies of her hubby back in the day, we can see balanced budgets and a boom in the economy.....the right to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness......

The Republican voters are sick of having politicians running for office who are klowns........

I have had to say this too much over the past decade.....I feel for Republican voters...they at least deserve to have someone to vote for who appears sensible. I would be ashamed to say I was a Republican due to the preponderence of The Stupid amongst all Republican candidates for office in any election from local to the Fed level, but it seems every year there are more and more Republican politicians who reveal to the world that they are abjectly devoid of sense....

But who knows?

We WILL see what happens.

FORD
03-08-2014, 04:42 PM
Newt (unlike the current leaders of his party) isn't a complete moron.

He is a hypocrite though, considering this entire "anti Obama on everything" policy is following the blueprint that he and Bob Dole used against Clinton 20 years ago.

FORD
03-08-2014, 05:45 PM
The American Conservative Union’s annual conference takes big, big sums from the gun, oil, and cigarette industry.

By Eli Clifton
Salon.com (http://www.slate.com/articles/news_and_politics/politics/2014/03/cpac_supported_by_gun_oil_and_cigarette_industries _american_conservative.html)
March 7, 2014



This week hundreds of college Republicans and men sporting Founding Father costumes are in National Harbor, Md., down the Potomac from Washington, D.C., for the Conservative Political Action Conference, the annual meeting of the American Conservative Union. Anti-tax crusader Grover Norquist calls it “Woodstock for conservatives.”

But while the American Conservative Union, CPAC’s parent, refers to itself as the “nation’s oldest and largest grassroots conservative organization,” an examination of the group’s finances shows the organization receives support from some of America’s biggest and least popular industries: guns, big oil, and cigarettes.

Rarely seen and previously unreported tax filings for the ACU and ACU Foundation, the group responsible for staging CPAC, reveal that in the 2010 tax year, the National Rifle Association provided $225,000 of the ACU Foundation’s overall revenue. In 2010 the ACU Foundation reported $288,670 in grant revenue and $1,063,103 in “program service revenue.” The NRA’s executive vice president and CEO, Wayne LaPierre, has been a regular featured speaker at past CPAC events and he again spoke at the gathering on Thursday. The 2013 CPAC included an event titled “NRA University” at which CPAC attendees could “learn more about NRA, Second Amendment, gun control debate.” It even offered participants “a FREE one-year NRA membership,” according to the conference schedule. The NRA is a “presenting sponsor” at the 2014 conference—a sponsorship level requiring a $110,000 contribution.

In 2010 the billionaire Koch brothers’ companies contributed a total of $50,000 to the ACU and the ACU Foundation. In the same year, cigarette giant Altria contributed $25,000 to the ACU, and the conservative Anschutz Foundation contributed $25,000 to the ACU Foundation.

Perhaps more importantly, the ACU promotes the tobacco industry when new regulatory measures are proposed. The ACU publicly defended the interests of the tobacco industry when the FDA proposed imposing restrictions on menthol cigarettes. Responding to a July 2013 invitation for public input from the FDA, the ACU wrote to express its “strong opposition to the establishment of the Food and Drug Administration of a tobacco product standard for menthol in cigarettes.” The ACU also used its influence to promote legislation benefiting the oil and gas industries. In addition to contributions from the Anschutz Foundation, funded by oil tycoon Philip Anschutz and the Koch brothers, Chevron contributed $20,000 to the ACU Foundation in 2010. The oil and drilling industry found no shortage of support from the ACU. In December 2011 the ACU wrote to Rep. Jim Jordan, then-chairman of the Republican Study Committee, urging Jordan and all members of the House to support the “Jobs Through Growth Act,” which would “reverse the absurd finding of EPA that carbon dioxide is a ‘pollutant.’ ” “The bill would also expedite the construction and operation of the Keystone XL Pipeline,” said the ACU letter. The bill gained 59 co-sponsors but died in committee.

Koch Industries, a major player in the U.S. oil and gas industry, sponsored the “VIP Ronald Reagan Dinner Reception” at CPAC’s 2013 meeting. (Former Koch Industries Executive Director of Federal Affairs Matt Schlapp appears as a board member on ACU tax filings starting in 2009.) CPAC’s 2014 annual conference website lists Koch and the NRA as sponsors but doesn’t disclose the precise amount of either’s support.

When contacted for comment about its corporate donors and the appearance of advocacy for the oil, cigarette, and gun industries, ACU National Communications Director Laura Keehner Rigas said, “ACU does not discuss the details of contributions beyond what is publicly available through our Form 990 and our website. Please reference our website for a sampling of CPAC sponsors, co-sponsors, and exhibitors.”

Positive PR and the appearance of “grassroots” support are much-needed by the oil and gas industry. It topped the list of most disliked industries in the United States, narrowly beating out the federal government, in an August 2012 Gallup poll. The NRA and tobacco industry have also seen their popularity suffer. The NRA’s favorability dropped to 42 percent, with 45 percent reporting an unfavorable view of the organization, in a January 2013 Public Policy Polling survey. And 22 percent of Americans support a complete smoking ban, up from 12 percent in 2007, according to a July 2013 Gallup poll.


The two industries are so contentious that even some in the largely conservative world of NASCAR are distancing themselves. In April, ESPN reported that two drivers were advised by their public relations directors to avoid doing interviews with the NRA logo behind them. NACSCAR itself, once strongly associated with tobacco sponsors, has moved on to other sponsors following the June 2010 implementation of new FDA rules ending smokeless tobacco and cigarette sponsorships for sporting events.

The gun, tobacco, and oil industries will undoubtedly continue their PR efforts. And it would seem that CPAC is the “grassroots” outreach wing of their corporate public relations strategy.

Eli Clifton is a fellow with the Investigative Fund at the Nation Institute.

FORD
03-09-2014, 03:40 PM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4yBYN_xT36M

Does this goofball realize that the fools he's talking to said pretty much the same thing about his people when they were trying to end segregation??

FORD
03-09-2014, 03:44 PM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ORSVaz0pozM

Uh, Andrew..... didn't your jellybean loving false Messiah pass Amnesty in 1986?

FORD
03-09-2014, 03:50 PM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_tOOLDzkiEk

FORD
03-09-2014, 03:55 PM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8SZL3gx5uGQ

FORD
03-09-2014, 03:59 PM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V_vKDSmNrls

FORD
03-10-2014, 08:30 PM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NWTzBPidjLU

Nitro Express
03-10-2014, 08:48 PM
Lot's of dick waiving. Sarah waived her big black strap on. Obama is weak. We must start World War III with russia to show the world we still can put a boot in yer ass!

Today is free hat day at CPAC. Everyone gets a free cowboy hat. Uncle Sam provides the bombs.


http://youtu.be/P6WD7B_I_9c

Nitro Express
03-10-2014, 08:56 PM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8SZL3gx5uGQ

Sarah should be thrown down the shitter. She's a manipulative bitch and a quitter.

Nitro Express
03-10-2014, 09:04 PM
http://youtu.be/wtbdfypVy38

These people are weak. I would make a Chuck Connors styled entrance dumping the rounds into some rag head target as I made my way up to the podium to make my speech. I then would hand my rifle to Wayne La Pierre and stick my tongue down Sarah Palin's throat.

Cartoon characters man. It's all cartoon characters.

Warham
03-10-2014, 10:50 PM
FORD's already got his "Hillary 2016" bumper sticker ready to go.

He'll say "No, I'm voting for another Democrat!" Her response: "What difference does it make!!!"

Nitro Express
03-10-2014, 11:08 PM
Maybe we should screw voting and put them all into a ring. Last person standing becomes president.

FORD
03-10-2014, 11:18 PM
FORD's already got his "Hillary 2016" bumper sticker ready to go.

He'll say "No, I'm voting for another Democrat!" Her response: "What difference does it make!!!"

Not going to happen....

I didn't vote for Barry in 2012 either. If I ever vote for another Democrat for President, he or she will be an actual Democrat.

Not a KKKoch funded DLC "Third Way" poser.

If Bernie Sanders runs, he's got my full support. If not, I guess I'll see who else is running (Jill Stein/Rocky Anderson/whomever)

http://irregulartimes.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/01/sanders2016logo.jpg

Warham
03-11-2014, 09:15 AM
Bernie Sanders?????