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View Full Version : Shout out the my brothers at ROTHARMY



Rikk
03-23-2014, 01:34 AM
Been a while since I've posted.

I've made it a habit to not post much personal stuff on this site. It's just the way I (and many of our posters) have done things.

With the death of MAX, it was made clear to many of us how personal events can rock our worlds, even in this crazy "computer game" of a music forum.

Last year, life was shaken up for my wife and me almost to the point of not being able to recover. In January 2013, we suffered the death of our firstborn son. He was nine months old, healthy and he died unexpectedly. It almost killed us. My buddies BOB, MATT, SHARK and POJO were well aware of what happened and have been great about offering support during this horrible time. The pain was so deep, I was convinced for a while that my wife and I would not be able to come back and find any joy in life. I chose not to post this because it's the kind of thing that just doesn't seem to have a place at this amazing community.

But I wanted to post it now because my wife and I are truly blessed and happy these past two days. We just successfully brought into this world a baby girl. She is truly a gift...a miracle. She's taught us that you can survive the greatest injustice and find a new happiness, making peace with the existence of pain that will never truly be alleviated.

Our daughter will also be (when she grows older) a gigantic VH/Roth fan. I played her DROP DEAD LEGS the other day...though her only initial reaction was to squeak once or twice, demand a pacifier and demand a boob to feed from. I'll give her time to appropriately bask in the brilliance of VH...but I guess she has to learn how to sit through a diaper change without crying first.

I know many of you have children...and all those who do (and even those who do not) can only picture what this kind of pain can do to someone. We all have to remember that past the music-talk, recipe-trading, flame-wars and opinions, there are people with real lives, real trials, tribulations and personal triumphs that we can't always recognize beyond the usernames, avatars and passionate musical discussions.

For a while, though I posted a few times, I thought I'd never really appear here again. I want to offer a shout-out to those who have been there to offer support beyond this site. It is necessary and should be recognized by all posters here how many amazing human beings sit behind these avatars.

This is a wonderful forum. Surviving the most soul-crushing pain one can imagine and then coming back from it with a reason for living makes me want to enjoy more of the things that used to give me quite a kick. Posting here is one of those things.

So, opening my soul up a bit here with this thread is my way of saying, "Hello, old friend Rotharmy. Good to see you."

Everyone who posts here, thanks for reading my little 12-step monologue. Hold your loved ones close and never take life for granted. Sometimes, it can throw you curveballs you think will kill you. But try and remember that you can survive anything if you try.

By the way, I'm excited as shit at the prospect of new VH w/ Roth next year.

And everything I post here will always be laced with the good memory of my fallen comrade Jer (MAX) for all time.

Thanks for listening, Rotharmy. Lemme just say, having a daughter is pretty fucking awesome. (I'm already picking out shotguns, however, for when she's older and starts thinking about boys...)

Rikk (an old Army veteran and PEN-keeper)

Jérôme Frenchise
03-23-2014, 04:04 AM
Hello RIKK...

I feel both deeply sad and glad for you. There is nothing more tragic and unfair than losing a child. My own brother lost his 4-year-old elder son, my godson, in a car accident in December '12. I have an idea of what you have been through. It's something unbearable. Fortunately, when your couple is solid like steel, it makes strong enough to pull through those nameless moments - my brother could survive thanks to that, and their younger son's survival.
You two are obviously really bound together, it's also impressive how you were able to carry on up to your little daughter's birth, which is a true blessing in itself, and all the more so in these circumstances.
There is both the worst and the best that can happen in a human being's life in your post - too good the second part is happening now, long live your little girl!!
I feel profoundly happy for you and your wife. May both of you be happy and enjoy your new-born baby!

I wish you all the best my friend.

vandeleur
03-23-2014, 04:50 AM
A moving post and am happy you have got your little bundle of joy to brighten your days .

Angel
03-23-2014, 10:31 AM
My heart is broken for your loss, but so happy to hear of your gain. Welcome home, Rikk.

chefcraig
03-23-2014, 11:54 AM
Hey, brother-man.

You and me have talked all of two or three posts in the past, so it's highly debatable that you would consider me as a close friend.

Yet this dumb-as-a-box-of-hammers internet-thing is pretty fucking goofy, in and of itself. It lead me toward one of the most rewarding relationships I've ever had, by allowing me to meet, great and love MAX. His obituary will forever be in my signature, as a tribute to a guy that singlehandedly helped me resolve the basic, disastrous, zeppelin crashing/earthquake-ish/car wreck mess of my life.

Nope, none of us will ever be perfect, and we all will struggle with the off handed shit that is pitched at us at 98MPH. I am sorrowed by your loss, yet strengthened by your (and your family's') resolve to continue on resolutely.

Without bringing faith into things (along with the sidecar of bullshit it contains), I'll simply say...

God bless you, mother-fucker.

And be well.

craig

Zing!
03-23-2014, 12:49 PM
Wishing you nothing but happiness and joy with your little miracle!

sadaist
03-23-2014, 03:13 PM
Wow Rikk. First my deepest condolences. And I really like when you wrote that we never get over that pain. The initial thing said is time heals. But I believe carrying that pain is true love....and i personally am glad i have that pain with me. Doctors tried to give me happy pills to kill the sadness but i refused. I dont want to not be sad over lost loved ones. Although your pain is very different from mine as ive never lost or even had the joy of having a child. Again im truly sorry for your loss and your post made my heart hurt and stomach knot up.

As far as your little princess, she already sounds like a member here. Listening to CVH and demanding a boob.....yep, she'll fit right in here :)

Thank you for sharing something so personal and thank you for the years of great posting that i have really enjoyed. Best wishes and thoughts to you and your family....here and above.

DavidLeeNatra
03-23-2014, 03:21 PM
my brother

I pray for you and your family. I just put my little girl to sleep and I am out of words about your loss.

Natra

fraroc
03-23-2014, 03:23 PM
Been a while since I've posted.

I've made it a habit to not post much personal stuff on this site. It's just the way I (and many of our posters) have done things.

With the death of MAX, it was made clear to many of us how personal events can rock our worlds, even in this crazy "computer game" of a music forum.

Last year, life was shaken up for my wife and me almost to the point of not being able to recover. In January 2013, we suffered the death of our firstborn son. He was nine months old, healthy and he died unexpectedly. It almost killed us. My buddies BOB, MATT, SHARK and POJO were well aware of what happened and have been great about offering support during this horrible time. The pain was so deep, I was convinced for a while that my wife and I would not be able to come back and find any joy in life. I chose not to post this because it's the kind of thing that just doesn't seem to have a place at this amazing community.

But I wanted to post it now because my wife and I are truly blessed and happy these past two days. We just successfully brought into this world a baby girl. She is truly a gift...a miracle. She's taught us that you can survive the greatest injustice and find a new happiness, making peace with the existence of pain that will never truly be alleviated.

Our daughter will also be (when she grows older) a gigantic VH/Roth fan. I played her DROP DEAD LEGS the other day...though her only initial reaction was to squeak once or twice, demand a pacifier and demand a boob to feed from. I'll give her time to appropriately bask in the brilliance of VH...but I guess she has to learn how to sit through a diaper change without crying first.

I know many of you have children...and all those who do (and even those who do not) can only picture what this kind of pain can do to someone. We all have to remember that past the music-talk, recipe-trading, flame-wars and opinions, there are people with real lives, real trials, tribulations and personal triumphs that we can't always recognize beyond the usernames, avatars and passionate musical discussions.

For a while, though I posted a few times, I thought I'd never really appear here again. I want to offer a shout-out to those who have been there to offer support beyond this site. It is necessary and should be recognized by all posters here how many amazing human beings sit behind these avatars.

This is a wonderful forum. Surviving the most soul-crushing pain one can imagine and then coming back from it with a reason for living makes me want to enjoy more of the things that used to give me quite a kick. Posting here is one of those things.

So, opening my soul up a bit here with this thread is my way of saying, "Hello, old friend Rotharmy. Good to see you."

Everyone who posts here, thanks for reading my little 12-step monologue. Hold your loved ones close and never take life for granted. Sometimes, it can throw you curveballs you think will kill you. But try and remember that you can survive anything if you try.

By the way, I'm excited as shit at the prospect of new VH w/ Roth next year.

And everything I post here will always be laced with the good memory of my fallen comrade Jer (MAX) for all time.

Thanks for listening, Rotharmy. Lemme just say, having a daughter is pretty fucking awesome. (I'm already picking out shotguns, however, for when she's older and starts thinking about boys...)

Rikk (an old Army veteran and PEN-keeper)


Oh my God....that has to be one of the most awful things a parent could ever go through. I'm really, really fucking sorry. But I'm glad to hear that your newborn baby girl is healthy and happy.

binnie
03-23-2014, 04:56 PM
Rikk,

Your class shows in every post. I can't even begin to imagine how tough the last couple of years must have been. There's a lot of love for you on this site, and even though this is only 'virtual reality' I hope that it can bring you some strength when the tough memories come.

God bless you sir.

Nitro Express
03-23-2014, 05:14 PM
Rikk

Daughters are great. We have three. One is in college. One is in high school. and one is in grade school. Cherish every moment. Time flies by fast and they grow up quick. As far as boyfriends go. If they start hanging around your house too much put their ass to work. That usually scares away the dead beats. LOL! Fortunately you won't have to be worrying about that for awhile.

I wish your family well!

Nickdfresh
03-23-2014, 06:52 PM
Hey RIKK.

I'm so sorry to hear about your loss and can't imagine the sorrow that must have been heartbreaking. I'm glad to hear of the joy that shows how bittersweet life can be. I wish you and your family, especially your new little angel, the best. Roth on my brother...

diamondsgirl
04-25-2014, 10:05 PM
I pop in every once in a while to see what's up with the Army. It's good to see everyone. :grouphug:

Rikk, the loss of a child is the worst pain a parent can feel, and I am so very sorry.

How wonderful that you and your wife were blessed with a daughter. :baby:

Best wishes to you and your family. :love0021:

SparkieD
04-28-2014, 09:34 AM
Your story has brought me to tears-a full-on sob-fest complete with whimpering and nose-blowing!

First-Oh Man, I am so deeply sorry for the loss of your little boy. My sister lost her beautiful and perfect baby girl around the same time. I have experienced immense heartache before, but that one brought me to my knees. I'm nowhere near over it, and I am merely the child's aunt. What you have been through is just unfathomable.

Second-I think it is amazing and wonderful that you and your wife were able to find strength to try again. Bless you both and your little miracle! I also know there's no greater joy than a daughter. I know I don't have to tell you that. Enjoy her! You mentioned a shotgun. "Mommy's got a baseball bat. Daddy's got a gun!" Those are the words I have been teaching mine since she was able to talk.

Again, God bless your family.

ELVIS
04-28-2014, 10:04 AM
Rikk !!

Come back !!

Come back, black chicken !!!


:elvis: