Kristy's Top Stoner Chill Albums For Summer 2014

[Kristy]

Summer is here and the time is right for getting stoned on your back patio..."

`Mick Jagger & Keith Richards


That's right, you fucking (unemployed) cretins, summer is here. And what does summer mean to you? Parties, pussy, your shitty 2 week vacation to some even shittier tourist destination shithole? For me it's weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeed! Loadsa and loadsa of weed. Seems the both need a soundtrack to me so here is some suggestions. Granted this isn't another 1985 homoerotic post about some washed up, balding singer who once wore spandex on stage but music to rather enjoy life by. Or anything that has to do with gay metal. Now if you smoke quality weed and waste it on listening to gay metal you should up and fucking kill yourself now.

Thievery Corporation - Radio Retaliation
http://www.banquetrecords.com/item.jpg?B001DDBD72

Never much cared for these fuckbutts, but this is some smooth shit.

Moondeluxe - Afternoon Cocktail

No album art but you can fuck to this.

Massive Attack - Lounge Hotel
http://israbox.com/uploads/posts/2009-04/1239453241_lounge.jpg

Eh, they are fuckbutts, too. Here is 3 god damn CD's of summer fun by the most under appreciated sample stealers ever.

Sinner's Lounge - Pure Pleasure
http://www.ljplus.ru/img4/s/o/soul_of_angel/web.jpg

Get this for that JEM/Solar Moon tune alone.

Fashion Vibes - Deep Grooves 1
http://images.junostatic.com/full/CS1361944-02A-BIG.jpg

Some eclectic shit for serious stoners. Better than the second offering

Lounge Deluxe 2
http://mp3.uzhgorod.name/uploads/posts/2010-04/1272621743_c8f5b7f2deae1.jpg

Eh, hit and miss with this one. Has that "bitchin'" Nightmares On Wax tune on it.

Jazz For Summer
http://cps-static.rovicorp.com/3/JPG_400/MI0002/885/MI0002885397.jpg

Has JoJo Effect. Fucking cool or what!?

Deborah Jordan - The Light
http://musikanova.up.n.seesaa.net/musikanova/image/090915deborah-jordan01.jpg

Did not like this at first but with more weed, the better it becomes.

New York Smooth
http://israbox.com/uploads/posts/2009-07/1247474838_lofi.jpg

Sounds pretentious because it is. But anything on here certainty beats 'Jump' or 'Panama" for weed sunsets and summer fun.


Well there you have it. Don't like it? Good. That means you are old, stale and stupid. But try to have a safe summer anyway.

[DONNIEP]

Well, you can't have a thread like this without this song!


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I1sNImbI2Zw

[Kristy]

Dude, glad you're here. Guess what!? I just took one massive shit. You should have seen the size of this motherfucker as it left my bloated asshole with the force of a nuclear bomb. I was rather proud of myself as it looked back at me all Jerry Maguire "show me the money" fashion. But then something miraculous happened. That shit reminded me of every DONNIE post to date. Lucky for you. I've had other shits that reminded me more of Smellvis' post. So keep trying.


Here's a Donnie Most so that no one gets confused:
http://images.vanityfair.it/Storage/Assets/Crops/256713/8/57084/happy-days-retro_650x435.jpg

[DONNIEP]

In other words, you often think of me while you're in the bathroom. Well, that's a start.

[Kristy]

No, the aftermath.

[DONNIEP]

Here, this might come in handy when you drop the next load...


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZKLnhuzh9uY

[binnie]

I've never been much of a fan of 'chill-out' music, but that's a thoughtful list, so thanks.

[PETE'S BROTHER]

pete agreed with the massive attack album

[VAiN]

That's one ghey list. Well done, stoney.

[ELVIS]

I'd shoot myself if that's all I had to listen to...

[hambon4lif]

Sinner's Lounge - Pure Pleasure
http://www.ljplus.ru/img4/s/o/soul_of_angel/web.jpg
What a fuckin' trip! I have a porn that has that exact picture on the cover. It's called "Return To Milf Island", which is totally misleading because there was never a "Milf Island" to make a sequel to. (believe me, I've looked)

The plot's kinda cool....two broke dipshits are driving through the suburbs in the middle of the day and run out of gas. To get the gas money they need to get out of there, they have to go door to door and drum up a few bucks. Because it's the middle of the day, the husbands and children are at work and school, so every door they knock on is answered by a completely fuckable milf ready to get pounded like a frozen steak.

As you can probably guess, they get the gas money, and the movie ends with them driving through other neighborhoods they actually plan on getting stranded in the next day......so you just know there's going to be a "Milf Island III".


What the fuck was this thread about anyway?

[Kristy]

That's one ghey list. Well done, stoney.

Thanks, Mr. Middle-Aged.

[Kristy]

I'd shoot myself if that's all I had to listen to...

In that case, do you need a gun? I have one you can use.

[sonrisa salvaje]

Speaking of ghey this list would make two queers say lets just be friends.

[Kristy]

Dude, keep your personal issues out of my thread.

[Kristy]

The majority of the Roth Army today:

[vandeleur]

Massive attack is great mood music mezzanine is a great album . But hey this stoner thing isn't my thing .

[Mushroom]

Dear Kristy, interesting. I think I will waste some time sampling your suggestions.

You forgot (hint: too much weed) three major releases in June 2014: Led Zeppelin I, II, and III Remasters!!! Including rare never before heard versions of many songs, and a live performance from Paris, 1969

exempli gratia...


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EeOdweLqBLA

[Mushroom]

Summer is here and the time is right for getting stoned on your back patio..."

`Mick Jagger & Keith Richards


That's right, you fucking (unemployed) cretins, summer is here. And what does summer mean to you? Parties, pussy, your shitty 2 week vacation to some even shittier tourist destination shithole? For me it's weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeed! Loadsa and loadsa of weed. Seems the both need a soundtrack to me so here is some suggestions. Granted this isn't another 1985 homoerotic post about some washed up, balding singer who once wore spandex on stage but music to rather enjoy life by. Or anything that has to do with gay metal. Now if you smoke quality weed and waste it on listening to gay metal you should up and fucking kill yourself now.

Thievery Corporation - Radio Retaliation
http://www.banquetrecords.com/item.jpg?B001DDBD72

Never much cared for these fuckbutts, but this is some smooth shit.

Moondeluxe - Afternoon Cocktail

No album art but you can fuck to this.

Massive Attack - Lounge Hotel
http://israbox.com/uploads/posts/2009-04/1239453241_lounge.jpg

Eh, they are fuckbutts, too. Here is 3 god damn CD's of summer fun by the most under appreciated sample stealers ever.

Sinner's Lounge - Pure Pleasure
http://www.ljplus.ru/img4/s/o/soul_of_angel/web.jpg

Get this for that JEM/Solar Moon tune alone.

Fashion Vibes - Deep Grooves 1
http://images.junostatic.com/full/CS1361944-02A-BIG.jpg

Some eclectic shit for serious stoners. Better than the second offering

Lounge Deluxe 2
http://mp3.uzhgorod.name/uploads/posts/2010-04/1272621743_c8f5b7f2deae1.jpg

Eh, hit and miss with this one. Has that "bitchin'" Nightmares On Wax tune on it.

Jazz For Summer
http://cps-static.rovicorp.com/3/JPG_400/MI0002/885/MI0002885397.jpg

Has JoJo Effect. Fucking cool or what!?

Deborah Jordan - The Light
http://musikanova.up.n.seesaa.net/musikanova/image/090915deborah-jordan01.jpg

Did not like this at first but with more weed, the better it becomes.

New York Smooth
http://israbox.com/uploads/posts/2009-07/1247474838_lofi.jpg

Sounds pretentious because it is. But anything on here certainty beats 'Jump' or 'Panama" for weed sunsets and summer fun.


Well there you have it. Don't like it? Good. That means you are old, stale and stupid. But try to have a safe summer anyway.

OMG :sleepy: Snooze fest. Sounds like hooker music. May I kill myself now?

[Nitro Express]

Whatever. I prefer to smoke cigars and drink expensive booze while listening to The Chairman of the Board. Yeah I was born too late but some things never go out of style. People will be digging Frank long after the stoner songs are forgotten.

[Nitro Express]

The good ol' days!

[Kristy]

Dear Kristy, interesting. I think I will waste some time sampling your suggestions.

You forgot (hint: too much weed) three major releases in June 2014: Led Zeppelin I, II, and III Remasters!!! Including rare never before heard versions of many songs, and a live performance from Paris, 1969

exempli gratia...

Fuck you.

[Kristy]

This kid is going places

[ELVIS]

So that's what you look like ??

[Kristy]

Dear Kristy, interesting. I think I will waste some time sampling your suggestions.

You forgot (hint: too much weed) three major releases in June 2014: Led Zeppelin I, II, and III Remasters!!! Including rare never before heard versions of many songs, and a live performance from Paris, 1969


By the way, that cocksucker is going to be on Fallon tonight promoting this shit.

[Mushroom]

By the way, that cocksucker is going to be on Fallon tonight promoting this shit.

Watch it and report back to us tomorrow

[Kristy]

You fucking watch it. You're the one who wants to blow him.

[Mushroom]

This kid is going places



I am concerned for your tastes. First you post the chillin' elevator muzak, and now you think this kid is going places??

[Kristy]

That kid already hates Zeppelin. That's a plus.

[Mushroom]

this is chillin'


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NdglHTSt7fg

[Kristy]

No, that is pussy. Here's a vid for old fucks like you, AARP member:

[Mushroom]

No, that is pussy. Here's a vid for old fucks like you, AARP member:


In five years, those two highly intellectual teenage girls will think I'm a stud when I drive by in my Dodge Power Wagon...


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N5ENiSJX5_s

[Kristy]

So yeah, Jimmy Page on Jimmy Fallon. Fucking unbelievable. Two losers sharing the same stage - like page did with Plant some 40 years ago.

[SunisinuS]

No, that is pussy. Here's a vid for old fucks like you, AARP member:



I thought these two were on a dating site and were making an ad about their experiences...oh well...back to the supermarket for me....

Problem is....one on the left has a generic face and does not understand the word fuck...the one on the right has chimpmonk cheeks no license and bent teeth like a fat Appalachian who rolled too far west....sigh....Youth is wasted on the young. All I can say....was not a fat fuck with no tact or intelligence when i was young....so when they are old.....they leaned right into it.

Will be hard to tell the difference....in other news....Plagiarism suit started against stairway....as it should be....Zep knew how to be a pop band.

[Kristy]

Are you high?

[DONNIEP]

In five years, those two highly intellectual teenage girls will think I'm a stud when I drive by in my Dodge Power Wagon...


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N5ENiSJX5_s

Hell yeah! Now that's what this thread needs!

[Nitro Express]

My football coach drove a Power Wagon just about like that one. I remember one time someone boxed him in and he just touched bumpers, put it in low gear and shoved the car out of the way. LOL!

[Mr. Vengeance]

That's quite possibly the worst fucking list of music I've ever seen. In fact, it's so gay that Spammy looked at it and said, "Holy shit, that's a gay fucking music list!!"

[chefcraig]

Thought I'd throw this in. Not exactly chill-out music, but I'm damned pleased this group got back together with it's (somewhat) original line up intact. American Thighs and the Blow It Out Your Ass It's Veruca Salt EP (Best of luck finding that one, kids) played at a loud volume will not only blow the dust off of your ceiling fan, they will also spay and neuter your pet.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nneYpx5bk60

[Kristy]

Maybe Chef is not as old as originally thought.

[Kristy]

What a fucking doucehbag.



"Yeah, I remastered the remastered of back when I first remastered when remastering was brought to me or some such shit. I didn't do this for the fans, fuck no, I did this to keep myself relevant. So be an idiot and go out and buy this shit at inflated prices. It's vinyl so even annoying hipsters will think it's cool."


How can anyone like this guy? He's pulling another con.

[Mr. Vengeance]

What a fucking doucehbag.



"Yeah, I remastered the remastered of back when I first remastered when remastering was brought to me or some such shit. I didn't do this for the fans, fuck no, I did this to keep myself relevant. So be an idiot and go out and buy this shit at inflated prices. It's vinyl so even annoying hipsters will think it's cool."


How can anyone like this guy? He's pulling another con.

Call us when you accomplish something other than sucking dick for weed, and maybe we'll listen to your insane bullshit.