Phil's joke thread

[philouze]

What's the difference between an 8 year old boy and a bag of cocaine?
Eric Clapton wouldn't let the bag fall off the window.


What are 100 black men falling off a ravine doing?
They're doing good.


Why do crows steal?
Because they're black.

[VetteLS5]

A dyslexic man walks into a bra...

[ELVIS]

Why do ******s cry during sex ??

The pepper spray burns their eyes...

[ELVIS]

Did you hear about the new Black Barbie ??

It comes with 12 kids, AIDS, an Obama phone and a welfare check...

[philouze]

FUCK YEAH!!!
Keep 'em comin!!!!

[ELVIS]

http://www.thepoke.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2012/04/rapist-search-news.jpg


:biggrin:

[ELVIS]

What does N.A.A.C.P stand for ??

******s Are Always Causing Problems...

[ELVIS]

Why can't Mexicans be firefighters ??

They can't tell Jose from hose B...

[ELVIS]

What do you do with a Jew with ADHD ??

Put him in a concentration camp...

[ELVIS]

An Israeli arrives at Heathrow airport. The customs official says to him, "Occupation?"

"No," replies the Israeli. "Just visiting."

[ELVIS]

What's better than celebrating your first Hanukkah ??

Not being a Jew...

[ELVIS]

What's 10 foot long and covers a pussy ??

A Turban...

[ELVIS]

What's the difference between a Scotsman and an Englishman ??

One is drunk, the other has an Pakistani accent...

[ELVIS]

What goes click click click click click click...

Sesh deleting all the funny and interesting content from this website...

[ELVIS]

A Horse named Sesh walks into a bar...

The bartender says, "why the long face" ??

The Horse replies, "My alcoholism is destroying my family."

[ELVIS]

What did the blind man say to the married man ??

I'm sorry you can't see your friends...

[ELVIS]

Optimist- The glass is half full.

Pessimist- The glass is half empty.

Feminist- The glass is being raped.

Socialist- The glass is property of the state.

[ELVIS]

Why did the white guy take the TV ??

Because he bought it...

[ELVIS]

What do you call a white woman with vaginitis ??

Cracker with cheese...

[ELVIS]

What’s the difference between a white man and a snake ??

One is an evil, cold-blooded, venomous, slimy creature of Satan...

The other is a snake...

[ELVIS]

What's faster than a ****** with a TV ??

His crackwhore mom with the DVR...

[ELVIS]

Who was the most famous Jewish cook of all time ??

Hitler...

[ELVIS]

What do tornadoes and ******s have in common ??

They both destroy entire communities virtually overnight...

[ELVIS]

Why did the ****** cross the road ??

To flee the crime scene...

[ELVIS]

Why did the white guy cross the road...

To flee from the ******s...

[VetteLS5]

What do a Mississippi divorce and tornadoes have in common?

In either case, somebody's losing a trailer.

[ELVIS]

What is black, purple, orange, turquoise, gold, red, yellow, blue, pink and green ??

A black woman going to church...

[ELVIS]

What did the redneck say after losing her virginity ??

Daddy, you crushed my cigarettes...

[ELVIS]

Why do drunken Scots wear kilts ??

Because a sheep can hear a zipper from a mile away...

[ELVIS]

What do you call five Mexicans on the bottom of a river ??

Sinko...

[ELVIS]

What did the little Mexican get for Christmas ??

Your bike...

[VetteLS5]

Why were women made with their vagina and asshole so close together?

So when they pass out you can carry them like a 6-pack.

[Kristy]

What in the fuck is wrong with you? None of this shit is funny.

[ELVIS]

Smoke some hydro and read 'em again...