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Seshmeister
02-05-2016, 11:20 AM
New Zealand newsreader loses it over story about a Malaysian diplomat jailed for shitting on a woman’s doorstep as part of a black magic spell to make her love him.



Now on further investigation it turns out that the following news story she was worried about laughing over had a happy ending...




Suicide Bomber Gets Sucked Out of a Plane Hole That He Created and Falls to Earth in a Blaze


If you didn’t believe in karma before, like me, you probably still won’t — but this would be a great example of it.

A suicide bomber boarded a Somali passenger jet Tuesday and proceeded to detonate a bomb in mid-air. The blast blew a hole in the wall of the jet that sucked the blazing terrorist out, dropping his pathetic body 20 miles north of Mogadishu. Aside from the bomber himself, all of the 74 passengers survived, with only two of them reported injured.

The Daallo Airlines Djibouti-bound flight made an emergency landing in Mogadishu shortly after taking off.

It’s believed the man managed to get the explosives past security by pretending to be wheelchair-bound. So far the person has not been identified, nor have any terrorist groups come forward to claim the attack.

Having only a burnt corpse and the blast as evidence, investigators are now backtracking before confirming the incident was an act of terror. Head of Daallo Airlines, Mohammed Ibrahim Yassin, confirms that explosive residue was found, but the findings are still considered inconclusive.

The person seated next to the alleged suicide bomber has been arrested on suspicion of co-conspiring, and all other passengers are being thoroughly investigated.

As far as a terrorist attack goes, this is the best possible outcome. Unfortunately, though, the amateur terrorist will never feel the depth of embarrassment that he deserves.