Are you a Democrat, Republican, or Southern Republican?

[John Ashcroft]

Are you a Democrat,Republican or Southern Republican?

You're walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small children.

Suddenly, a dangerous looking man with a huge knife comes around the corner, locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, raises the knife, and charges.

You are carrying a Glock .40, and you are an expert shot.
You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your family.

What do you do?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Democrat's Answer:

Well, that's not enough information to answer the question!

Does the man look poor or Oppressed?

Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to attack?

Could we run away?

What does my wife think?

What about the kids?

Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the
knife out of his hand?

What does the law say about this situation?

Does the Glock have appropriate safety built into it?

Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what kind of
message does this send to society and to my children?

Is it possible he'd be happy with just killing me?

Does he definitely want to kill me, or would he be content
just to wound me?

If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my family get away while he was stabbing me?

Should I call 9-1-1?

Why is this street so deserted?

We need to raise taxes, have a paint and weed day and make
this a happier, healthier street that would discourage such behavior.

This is all so confusing!
I need to debate this with some friends for a few days and
try to come to a consensus.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Republican's Answer:

BANG!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Southern Republican's Answer:

BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!
BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!

click.....(sounds of reloading).

BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!
BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! click

Daughter: "Nice grouping, Daddy!
Were those the Winchester Silver Tips??"

[Ally_Kat]

Originally posted by John Ashcroft


Southern Republican's Answer:

BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!
BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!

click.....(sounds of reloading).

BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!
BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! click

Daughter: "Nice grouping, Daddy!
Were those the Winchester Silver Tips??"

:D

This has my family written all over it

[FORD]

You forgot the neoconservative's answer:

"This asshole threatened me, so now I'm gonna go kill the guy that lives two blocks down the street from him, because he threw a rock at my daddy 20 years ago"

[John Ashcroft]

Hey, one less asshole in the world...

[PenguinsKID1986]

Thank God for the South!

[FORD]

Did this really need to be necro-posted?

[Rikk]

Whatever happened to Ashcroft?

[FORD]

Originally posted by Rikk
Whatever happened to Ashcroft?

Last I heard he was going through a divorce and all that goes with it. One of those cases where personal wars take precedence over BCE wars.

[academic punk]

Since this thread started with a stupid, idiotic stereo-typing test, here's another...

Every once in a while it's important to think about your own personal
ethics. So, here's a quick test to get you started.

Ethics Test

This test has only one question, but it's a very important one.

By giving an honest answer, you will discover where you stand morally. The test features an unlikely, completely fictional situation in which you will have to make a decision. Remember that your answer needs to be honest, yet spontaneous. Please scroll down slowly and give due consideration to each line.

You are in Florida, Miami to be specific.


There is chaos all around you caused by a hurricane with severe
flooding.
This is a flood of biblical proportions.


You are a photojournalist working for a major newspaper, and you're
caught in the middle of this epic disaster.


The situation is nearly hopeless. You're trying to shoot career-making
photos. There are houses and people swirling around you, some
disappearing under the water. Nature is unleashing all of its destructive fury.


Suddenly you see a man floundering in the water. He is fighting for his
life, trying not to be taken down with the debris.


You move closer . . . somehow the man looks familiar.


You suddenly realize who it is. It's George W. Bush! At the same time
you notice that the raging waters are about to pull him under.

You have two options-you can save the life of G.W. Bush or you can
shoot a dramatic Pulitzer Prize winning photo, documenting the death of one of the world's most powerful men.

So here's the question, and please give an honest answer:
Would you select high contrast color film, or would you go with the
classic simplicity of black and white?

[LoungeMachine]

Originally posted by academic punk

You have two options-you can save the life of G.W. Bush or you can
shoot a dramatic Pulitzer Prize winning photo, documenting the death of one of the world's most powerful men.

So here's the question, and please give an honest answer:
Would you select high contrast color film, or would you go with the
classic simplicity of black and white?


*click*

:cool:

[thome]

Id take the shot... photoshop later... save the guy from drowning.

Is every body happy,yes.

[FORD]

Can I push Jeb in with him, and then take the picture?

[BigBadBrian]

Originally posted by academic punk


So here's the question, and please give an honest answer:
Would you select high contrast color film, or would you go with the
classic simplicity of black and white?

I wouldn't be caught with either given the versatility of digital SLR's.

:gulp:

[steve]

Originally posted by academic punk

...You have two options-you can save the life of G.W. Bush or you can
shoot a dramatic Pulitzer Prize winning photo, documenting the death of one of the world's most powerful men.

So here's the question, and please give an honest answer:
Would you select high contrast color film, or would you go with the
classic simplicity of black and white?

If I save him, does he have to be my butler? Or is that only on Seinfeld?

[4moreyears]

Suddenly you see a man floundering in the water. He is fighting for his

It also could have been Mary Jo Kopechne after Uncle Teddy left her for dead.

[Cathedral]

If the South would have won we'd have had it made.......

I am most definately a Southern Republican by the standards required in this thread, but the standards are bullshit.
As a redneck, the situation would not be treated as a day out target shooting.
But being a Democrat or Republican has nothing to do with the fact that you would be a pussy not to defend your family.

Odds are, if you stop to think about it in the first place you will be dead and your family vulnerable to whatever he chooses to do to them..........FUCK THAT!

The last friend that jumped from around a corner to scare me got a broken nose for it. a stranger would find no mercy if i don't recognize them, period.
I have such a distrust for people that i haven't been through a Haunted House in years.

I react aggressively when aggression is aimed at me, can't help it, and i'm not going to analyze anything farther than what i see.

I WILL KILL ANY MOTHER FUCKER THAT THREATENS ME OR MY FAMILIES LIVES!

But i'm not going to be hootin' and hollerin', cracking open a beer between clips, and mutilate someone while keeping score with my youngling, lol.

[FORD]

A driver is stuck in a traffic jam on the highway. Nothing is moving.
Suddenly a man knocks on the window.

The driver rolls down his window and asks, "What happened?"

"Terrorists kidnapped President Bush and are asking for a $10 million ransom. Otherwise they're going to douse him with gasoline and set him on fire. We're going from car to car to take up a collection."

The driver asks, "How much is everyone giving on average?"


"About a gallon."

[Hardrock69]

Cathedral said it best. Motherfucker attacks me and I have a Glock?

Let me put it this way...how many movies have we seen where some poor innocent person defends themselves against some maniac...thinks said maniac is dead....maniac is only knocked out or senseless...comes out of the temporary coma to attack again....

I would make sure the fucker was dead....2 15-shot clips would be about right...