John Kerry is a kid toucher.

[distortion9]

http://blog.johnkerry.com/blog/archives/threeyearold2.jpg

[John Ashcroft]

Man, he looks like he's in pain.

Is that a forced smile or what? You can just hear what he's thinking...

The "New JFK": "God I hope this thing doesn't piss on me!"

[JCOOK]

Look at the poor kid-- "Who is this goober"?

[HELLVIS]

I'd like to know....

Nevermind, I don't think I want to know where his other hand is.

[HELLVIS]

Oh, there it is.

[HELLVIS]

Kerry is just out kissing hands and shaking babies.

[HELLVIS]

Or wait, maybe he's pressin' the flesh.