• The Van Halen Torch!

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    It is Eat EM And Smile Time! Click below to contact some of the Baddest Assed Mo'fos on the web!
    Contact the Crazy Ass MO'FO's who run this website and view our site purpose/intent.
    [Site Purpose - History]
    [Staff Bios and Contact]

    This is Dave's Army!
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  • The Diamond David Lee Roth Army

    Nobody rules these streets at night but us! Join our growing legion of fans dedicated to honoring the Commander in Chief of  Rock n' Roll - David Lee Roth.
  • Webmaster Contact Info

    by Published on 01-03-2012 11:28 PM     Number of Views: 6472 

    Who aRE tHESE cRAZY aSS mOTHERfUCKERS!

    The Diamond David Lee Roth Army. Website Established 1/13/99
    To find out why we do this website and our intention and purposeclick here. All naked self pictures (women only!) can be sent tothestaff@rotharmy.com" style="color: rgb(243, 243, 243); text-decoration: none; ">TheStaff@ROTHARMY.com.

    Complaints: If you are going to complain to the staff about something that you find offensive on this website, don't waste your breath. Chances are.. we don't give a FUCK! We champion free speech on this website, and your complaint won't be the first. If you feel like you still must complain about something{click here}.
    Feedback: We love to get positive feedback on this website, so use the links below to contact our staff.

    Roth Army Staff
    To send an email to the entire staff, mail it to thestaff@rotharmy.com" style="color: rgb(243, 243, 243); text-decoration: none; ">thestaff@rotharmy.com.

    SARGE - SKILLS THAT THRILL! Name: Sarge
    Email:
    Webmaster@ROTHARMY.com
    Position: Webmaster
    Sarge is the website founder and has done most of the programming and html work for this website. He enjoys long walks on the beach, blow jobs, backrubs and "That Rock 'N Roll" variety you can only get from being a Diamond Dave fan. While many believe that the mysterious Sarge has been traveling across the globe for the past six years while being deployed for the military, the truth of the matter is that he was arrested for spearheading a hamster snuff video ring in Hambone, CA. Now, out of prison and in a halfway house, Mr. Slingblade spends much of his time picking up garbage along the highways, scrubbing McDonald's toilets clean with his fingernails, and begging toothless whores for five-cent reach-arounds. Yeah, it kinda puts the "blow jobs and backrubs" into perspective, doesn't it. Sarge is the BIG DOG, here at the Army, and ever since 1999, he's brought the David Lee Roth Army live, in your naked steaming eyes. We've come a long way from "Guns and guitars, bikinis and fast cars," and it's all because of Sargeant Slingblade. To read a little more about Sarge {click here}
    Watermelon Spitting Champion 1987-Present Name: Brownsound
    Email: BrownSound1@ROTHARMY.com
    Position: Co-Webmaster
    Brownsound posts news and editorials and is in charge of maintaining our forums with POJO and VA Beach. Of course, he hasn't done any of this over the past five years, but that's okay, we know he's running from his internet goddesses, and we are okay with that. This guy is famous for being "The Tri-County Alabama Watermelon Spitting Champion" for 7 years straight, which he set the record by shooting his last seed over his double-wide, and into a toothless hooker's denture jar. Referred to by the ladies as "Half Man..Half Horse" we are pleased to have one of the "biggest" DLR fans on our staff. Brownsound was a co-founder of EUAS and the Old Boy's Club, and has a blackbelt in Van Halen knowledge. This guy just knows more than you do, so live with it and shut the hell up. Do you hear the footsteps?!? To read a little more about Brownsound {click here}
    THE POJO Dojo! Ladies Welcome! Name: POJO_Risin
    Email: POJO_Risin@ROTHARMY.com
    Position: Co-Webmaster
    POJ' posts news and editorials and is in charge of maintaining our forums with Brownsound1 and Va Beach's old ass. Mr. Risin earned his job here as the first new webmaster in 2000 when won the first webby competition in Roth Army history. Of course, the only other entrant was some paralyzed guy who types on some sip and puff machine. Needless to say...we found the "Diamond" of the Roth Army. POJO was a co-founder of EUAS and the Old Boy's Club, and has an attitude that's as Brazen and Bold as David Lee Roth himself. POJO is known as a ruthless defender of Diamond Dave and a staunch hater of all things Hagar. To read a little more about POJO_Risin {click here}
    I won't be eating any corn any time soon! Name: Conmee
    Email: Conmee@ROTHARMY.com
    Position: Co-Webmaster
    We have no clue what Conmee does. Hell, Icon has no clue what he does, because he's generally riding high after bathing in a bathtub of coke. Most of his wakey-wake time is spent surfing SublimeDirectory.com for animal porn, but sometimes we drag him away and he helps with the website. Hailing from Papua, New Guinea, he's sometimes known as a ladies man, but mostly known as complete "Bombastic Jackass." THE Icon has come a long way from his days as Father Conmee, was an honorary co-founder of EUAS, the head of the Old Boy's Club, and has became THE revered spiritual advisor of the David Lee Roth Community. To read a little more about Conmee {click here} THAT is All!
    V.A. Beach VH Fan Name: Va Beach VH Fan
    Email: vabeach@rotharmy.com
    Position: Co-Webmaster
    Va Beach is sorta like a cockroach. The kid just won't go away, and by kid, I mean one old ass son-of-a-bitch. After several years of being relegated to moderating the shittiest of forums (he was once mod of the granny tranny forum, before POJO accidentally deleted it), he was bumped up to head moderator (yeah, I know) and webmaster because...well...everyone else disappeared. That said, VA Beach has turned into an incredible asset, having run the site nearly by himself over the past couple of years, and keeping the Roth Army afloat when the the rudderless mothership was taking on water. VA Beach has become the frontman during the 2012 Van Halen resurgence, and created the Roth Army facebook page and Twitter accounts. He's also in charge of the Roth Army Pinkerton Detective Agency. If you don't know what that is, neither do the rest of the webbies. Don't mess with this cranky bastard, or you just might find out. To read a little more about Va Beach VH Fan {click here}

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  • THIS DAY IN CLASSIC =VAN HALEN= HISTORY

    ROTH FANS UNITE! NOBODY RULES THESE STREETS AT NIGHT BUT US!
    Click [HERE] to find out what happened today in Classic Van Halen History!
    UPDATED DAILY!
    Content provided from The Van Halen Encyclopedia, ticket stubs and online articles.
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