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I'm kinda hoping he takes up whittling. That would be killer to see playing during ICM 
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American by birth. Southern by the grace of God.
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How about a little vocal coaching and whatever physical conditioning he needs to be able to perform for barely 2 hours with the air on...
He can play with his doggies in between, which seems to be in line with the band direction overall... given the Guitar Player™ has employed a Pomeranian as his official Spokes-Dog on social networking.
Striped pooper-scoopers are an imminent new product line coming to the VH store this fall..."If you want to be a monk... you gotta cook a lot of rice...”Comment
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Rock star Eddie Van Halen was on the brink of death recently when doctors battled to save him after his intestines "exploded," the new issue of the National Enquirer exclusively reveals.
The 57-year-old guitarist was clinging to life when he was rushed to the hospital in excruciating pain after swallowing a cayenne-based diet concoction, revealed an insider.
Eddie’s wife Janie Liszewski, his son Wolf, 21, and ex-wife Valerie Bertinelli all feared the worst. “Janie was beside him the whole time and Wolf kept a constant vigil,” said a source. “They were sick with worry because he was in so much pain, it really was touch and go.
"Valerie was scared to death Eddie was going to die. Although he’s remarried, Eddie is still close to Valerie, and she was there for him the whole time.”
The cause of his pain was reportedly the Master Cleanse Diet, which the musician had tried because it is supposed to rid toxins from the body but it had disastrous effects. “Eddie’s abdominal region was a disaster area,” disclosed a pal. “The spicy treatment touched off an explosion in his intestines.”
The controversial diet is an extreme regimen that temporarily replaces food with a liquid consisting of water, fresh lemon juice, maple syrup and cayenne pepper. It promises to bring about a rapid slim down but the lack of nutrition and high spice levels cause concern among health professionals.
"The stress of fad diets increases pressure on the colon, and if the person has diverticulitis there may be leakage from the bowel into the abdomen,” explained Dr. James O’Brien, who has not treated the rocker.
Fortunately for Eddie, he has overcome the health crisis, and his people say: “No further surgeries are needed.”
For the full story, the new issue of the National Enquirer is on newsstands Thursday.Comment
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Wonder when the franken-stripe colostomy bags will be going on sale?Comment
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Somebody recently told me to try that "cleanse" remedy. Yeah, I'll pass...."Ya know what they say about angels... An angel is a supernatural being or spirit, usually humanoid in form, found in various religions and mythologies. Plus Roth fan boards..."- ZahZoo April 2013
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If you ever see the words 'cleanse', 'detox' or 'toxins' in the blurb for some alternative therapy or diet you should avoid it, at best it's bullshit.
The liver, kidneys and digestive system remove toxins from the body there is no evidence anything else can.Last edited by Seshmeister; 09-05-2012, 09:35 AM.Comment
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When did all this happen, over the weekend?
I'm surprised that VHND didn't report this yet. If Eddie really did overcome this like the article says, than he HAS to keep following doctors orders or he's going to die. Hopefully he learned his lesson about weird voodoo treatments like this, sometimes you just don't know how your body is going to react to things.Last edited by fraroc; 09-05-2012, 10:09 AM.How do you spell pretentious? S-A-M-M-Y H-A-G-A-RComment
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What fucks me up about all of this is the idea that a bottle of Mrs. Butterworth's can be used to cleanse anything. Seriously, what in the fuck is the thinking behind this? Lemons and cayenne? Cool, works well when baking fish on a grill. Mix 'em with pancake syrup and water? Sounds like something I'd concoct around 3 AM to put on some toast slices after spending the evening snorting vodka and drinking cocaine sometime in 1989.
“The greatest enemy of knowledge is not ignorance, it is the illusion of knowledge.”― Stephen HawkingComment
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It's the fucking National Enquirer, enough said....Eat Us And Smile - The Originals
"I have a very belligerent enthusiasm or an enthusiastic belligerence. I’m an intellectual slut." - David Lee Roth
"We are part of the, not just the culture, but the geography. Van Halen music goes along with like fries with the burger." - David Lee RothComment
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It could be that he may have had an allergic reaction to the Cayenne Pepper, but who knows?
I'm just praying that this is the end of his medical worries.
EDIT: ok, the more I'm reading this, the more I'm wondering if this is article was about the surgery itself that happened weeks ago. I'm hoping the whole cayenne pepper thing was made up. If not, it could be that that's what triggered the Diverticulitis. I mean, to have the article explain that he was close to death and then to say "Fortunatly for Eddie he has overcome this medical crisis, his reps say "no further surgeries are needed" Thats what the original press release said. For Eddie's sake, I hope I'm right.Last edited by fraroc; 09-05-2012, 10:37 AM.How do you spell pretentious? S-A-M-M-Y H-A-G-A-RComment
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Eat Us And Smile - The Originals
"I have a very belligerent enthusiasm or an enthusiastic belligerence. I’m an intellectual slut." - David Lee Roth
"We are part of the, not just the culture, but the geography. Van Halen music goes along with like fries with the burger." - David Lee RothComment
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