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| Non VH/DLR Related Stuff So your balls itch? Someone just came and repossessed your trailer? We don't want to hear it! Post all non Van Halen or David Lee Roth related material here.
Description: The ELVIS jokes write themselves |
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#121 (permalink) | |
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Quiet Cool
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![]() Hey, I've always had this question that no one seemed to know the answer. How come there are no jokes (at least I haven't heard any) about the heterosexual WASP male? You hear jokes about Chinese, Japanese, Middle Eastern people, Jews, women (woman driver jokes are so tiresome), blacks, but hardly ever about WASPs. Why is that? It leads me to think that all these off-color jokes were made up by WASPs. I did find one website called "Stuff White People Like." It's harmless funny stuff, though, nothing demeaning and malicious. |
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#122 (permalink) | |
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YEEEEAAAARRRRGGGGHHHH!
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Q: Why did God create WASPs? A: Someone has to buy retail! Q: What do WASPs think Zimbabwe Rhodesia is? A: A wide receiver for the Houston Oilers. Q: How can you tell if a WASP is sexually excited? A: The stiff upper lip. Q: What's an American WASP's idea of open-mindedness? A: Dating a Canadian. Q: What's a WASP's idea of social security? A: An ancestor on the Mayflower. Q: Why did the WASP cross the street? A: To get to the middle of the road. Q: What happens when four WASPs find themselves in the same room? A: A dinner party. Q: What do WASPs think of the Mideast situation? A: Well, Newport is all right, but EVERYbody goes to the Cape. Q: How does a WASP propose marriage? A: "How would you like to be buried with my people?" Q: What's a WASP's idea of affirmative action? A: Hiring South American jockeys. Q: What do WASPs say after sex? A: "Thank you very much. I'm sorry. It won't happen again. Q. What do you call a WASP with a four-inch prick? A. Well hung. Q. How can you tell when a WASP is dead? A. He lets go of his wallet. Q. What do you call a WASP virgin? A. You can't. Her number's unlisted. Q. What's a WASP's favourite song? A. "I'm Dreaming of a White Christmas." Q. What does a professional WASP call her boss? A. Daddy Q: How many WASPS does it take to change a lightbulb? A: Three. Two to mix the martinis and one to call the electrician. Q: What is a WASP menage a trois? A: Two headaches and one hard-on. Q: Why do WASPs play golf? A: So they can dress like pimps. Q. What is the definition of a WASP? A. Someone who gets out of the shower to take a leak.
__________________
Eat Us And Smile Listen to the Mike Malloy show, and hear the truth. 6: 00 PM Pacific/9: 00 Eastern "If the American people ever allow private banks to control the issue of their money, first by inflation and then by deflation, the banks and corporations that will grow up around them, will deprive the people of their property until their children will wake up homeless on the continent their fathers conquered." ~Thomas Jefferson |
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Thanked FORD for this useful post:
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kwame k (10-26-2009) |
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#123 (permalink) |
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"Roar", motherfucker...
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__________________
ROTH ARMY SHILLELAGH "Being shot out of a cannon is always better than being squeezed through a tube." - H.S.T. "It ain't what they call you, it's what you answer to." - W. C. Fields “It's all in the mind, you know.” - Spike Milligan |
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#124 (permalink) |
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Quiet Cool
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Stuff White People Like:
#101: Being offended #71: Being the only white person around #62: Knowing what's best for poor people #14: Having black friends #11: Asian girls
Last edited by chan_bkny; 10-26-2009 at 11:51 AM. |
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#125 (permalink) |
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"Roar", motherfucker...
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#33:
__________________
ROTH ARMY SHILLELAGH "Being shot out of a cannon is always better than being squeezed through a tube." - H.S.T. "It ain't what they call you, it's what you answer to." - W. C. Fields “It's all in the mind, you know.” - Spike Milligan |
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#127 (permalink) |
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"Roar", motherfucker...
ROTH ARMY MODERATOR
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__________________
ROTH ARMY SHILLELAGH "Being shot out of a cannon is always better than being squeezed through a tube." - H.S.T. "It ain't what they call you, it's what you answer to." - W. C. Fields “It's all in the mind, you know.” - Spike Milligan |
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#128 (permalink) |
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"Roar", motherfucker...
ROTH ARMY MODERATOR
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__________________
ROTH ARMY SHILLELAGH "Being shot out of a cannon is always better than being squeezed through a tube." - H.S.T. "It ain't what they call you, it's what you answer to." - W. C. Fields “It's all in the mind, you know.” - Spike Milligan |
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#129 (permalink) |
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Quiet Cool
Veteran
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FB might be no more as foursquare.com might be the new FB.
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#130 (permalink) |
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Messiah
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Nobody's posted any Jewish jokes yet?
Should I thank Dad for that?
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#131 (permalink) |
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Quiet Cool
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Are you sure you want to hear one? People have made rude comments about my accent, calling me "Jewyawka." Doesn't make me feel like laughing.
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#132 (permalink) |
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Messiah
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Verily, there are many of My people in New York, but they hardly own the place. There's at least as many Italians there, right?
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#133 (permalink) |
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"Roar", motherfucker...
ROTH ARMY MODERATOR
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__________________
ROTH ARMY SHILLELAGH "Being shot out of a cannon is always better than being squeezed through a tube." - H.S.T. "It ain't what they call you, it's what you answer to." - W. C. Fields “It's all in the mind, you know.” - Spike Milligan |
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Thanked Coyote for this useful post:
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Jesus Christ (10-26-2009) |
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#134 (permalink) |
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"Roar", motherfucker...
ROTH ARMY MODERATOR
![]() ![]() Join Date: Jan 2004
Member Number: 58
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"Two Jews walk into a bar..."
__________________
ROTH ARMY SHILLELAGH "Being shot out of a cannon is always better than being squeezed through a tube." - H.S.T. "It ain't what they call you, it's what you answer to." - W. C. Fields “It's all in the mind, you know.” - Spike Milligan |
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#135 (permalink) |
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Recipient of the DM cross
Commando
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What does a Jewish Child molester say?
"Hey kid, wanna buy some candy?" |
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Thinks lesfunk is a JACKASS for this worthless post:
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Jesus Christ (10-26-2009) |
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#136 (permalink) |
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Can't get this no mo'
ROTH ARMY MODERATOR
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What do you care? I think I'm on the other side of the frigging state, which effectively precludes us from hanging out.
__________________
"They who would give up an essential liberty for temporary security, deserve neither liberty or security." --Ben Franklin
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#137 (permalink) | |
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"Everybody Up !!!"™
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Careful..... Ah dude, yer on the shit list now... |
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#138 (permalink) | |
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YEEEEAAAARRRRGGGGHHHH!
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Quote:
__________________
Eat Us And Smile Listen to the Mike Malloy show, and hear the truth. 6: 00 PM Pacific/9: 00 Eastern "If the American people ever allow private banks to control the issue of their money, first by inflation and then by deflation, the banks and corporations that will grow up around them, will deprive the people of their property until their children will wake up homeless on the continent their fathers conquered." ~Thomas Jefferson |
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#139 (permalink) |
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"Everybody Up !!!"™
ROTH ARMY SUPREME
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Well ,it wasn't my shit list I was referring to...
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#140 (permalink) |
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YEEEEAAAARRRRGGGGHHHH!
ROTH ARMY MODERATOR
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Oh.... I get it....
**Ducks to avoid any stray lightning bolts coming from Heaven......**
__________________
Eat Us And Smile Listen to the Mike Malloy show, and hear the truth. 6: 00 PM Pacific/9: 00 Eastern "If the American people ever allow private banks to control the issue of their money, first by inflation and then by deflation, the banks and corporations that will grow up around them, will deprive the people of their property until their children will wake up homeless on the continent their fathers conquered." ~Thomas Jefferson |
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#142 (permalink) | |
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"Everybody Up !!!"™
ROTH ARMY SUPREME
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Member Number: 5109
Location: Southern Ontario
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#145 (permalink) |
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Bong Water Enema
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Anyone tried this Ancestry.com thing?
Is it some kind of a rip-off? I did this 15 day trial thing...just to look up my great-grandfather who was killed before my grandmother was born and found some interesting shit, like his draft registration card from 1917. That much was legit.....it was when I dug deeper into the family roots that things seemed a little phony. Anyone else tried it? |
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#146 (permalink) |
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Quiet Cool
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I didn't try Ancestry.com, but something else a long time ago. There were no search results, which didn't surprise me. Would be interested to know whether there were any foreigners in the family tree as there were so many invasions throughout history.
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#148 (permalink) | |
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Can't get this no mo'
ROTH ARMY MODERATOR
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Quote:
My parents and a brother are into that stuff. Personally, I don't find it too useful other than being mildly interesting. I have found out that I'm related to the first guy to get hit by a car and die in Buffalo, NY though.
__________________
"They who would give up an essential liberty for temporary security, deserve neither liberty or security." --Ben Franklin
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#150 (permalink) | |
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Quiet Cool
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Quote:
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#151 (permalink) | |
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Bong Water Enema
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There were a bunch of one-name individuals beginning in the 1830's. People with no last names....not sure what that was all about. That's what made me think it was just a scam. |
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#152 (permalink) |
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YEEEEAAAARRRRGGGGHHHH!
ROTH ARMY MODERATOR
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If it's a genealogy site, more than likely it's a LDS church recruiting tool. Give them your address, and next thing you know, there will be a couple of young dudes in white shirts, ties, and bicycle helmets knocking on your door with Books of Mormon in hand, willing to tell you about Elohim, our Heavenly Father's plan for your life.
And then they'll baptize all your dead relatives by proxy, so you might as well be Mormon yourself, because all your ancestors now are.
__________________
Eat Us And Smile Listen to the Mike Malloy show, and hear the truth. 6: 00 PM Pacific/9: 00 Eastern "If the American people ever allow private banks to control the issue of their money, first by inflation and then by deflation, the banks and corporations that will grow up around them, will deprive the people of their property until their children will wake up homeless on the continent their fathers conquered." ~Thomas Jefferson |
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