Irma set to give South Florida a Major Blowjob!

The dreaded ticking clock is upon us. South Floridians who have been here decades know the drill. Watch the tv all day for days on end waiting for the updates, hoping against hope that something will turn the behemoth barreling towards us slightly away , sparing us the damage of a full blown Hurricane. As it gets closer hopes change from "will it hit" to "hopefully it will weaken" or "hopefully we are on the weak side". We get our waters, and batteries(or those of us that are in the know, check our already procured supplies and flashlights), put up shutters, gas up the car, or generator and get a battery powered radio ready, because surely the power will go out. For how long? Who knows? After Andrew in Homestead Florida where my Dad lived it was six months without power. Why? The lines couldn't be put back up. Why? Because the fucking POLES were GONE. You hope it isn't like that.
You hope it is a 2 or 3 or 4 at the most because high 4's and 5 causes tornados and rips your roof off. No amount of prep can do anything for that.
You hope it near misses and want to punch anyone in the face who laments having to prepare and put up shutters for "nothing". You tell them "be glad it did miss you fucking asshole."
Gone are the "Hurricane Parties" people used to have before Andrew , when most South Floridians had not been alive when the last major storm hit.
People who have gone through major storms and their aftermath, have their game faces on. No joking. This is serious shit coming at us .
So now we wait. The clock ticks and we stay tuned, hoping for those minor changes which could be life or death.
Pray to the Gods you worship Roth Army for Florida to get a near miss or a weak hit so that those of that know can breathe a sigh of relief and let the assholes lament.

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Originally Posted by THEDOCTOR

The dreaded ticking clock is upon us. South Floridians who have been here decades know the drill. Watch the tv all day for days on end waiting for the updates, hoping against hope that something will turn the behemoth barreling towards us slightly away , sparing us the damage of a full blown Hurricane. As it gets closer hopes change from "will it hit" to "hopefully it will weaken" or "hopefully we are on the weak side". We get our waters, and batteries(or those of us that are in the know, check our already procured supplies and flashlights), put up shutters, gas up the car, or generator and get a battery powered radio ready, because surely the power will go out. For how long? Who knows? After Andrew in Homestead Florida where my Dad lived it was six months without power. Why? The lines couldn't be put back up. Why? Because the fucking POLES were GONE. You hope it isn't like that.
You hope it is a 2 or 3 or 4 at the most because high 4's and 5 causes tornados and rips your roof off. No amount of prep can do anything for that.
You hope it near misses and want to punch anyone in the face who laments having to prepare and put up shutters for "nothing". You tell them "be glad it did miss you fucking asshole."
Gone are the "Hurricane Parties" people used to have before Andrew , when most South Floridians had not been alive when the last major storm hit.
People who have gone through major storms and their aftermath, have their game faces on. No joking. This is serious shit coming at us .
So now we wait. The clock ticks and we stay tuned, hoping for those minor changes which could be life or death.
Pray to the Gods you worship Roth Army for Florida to get a near miss or a weak hit so that those of that know can breathe a sigh of relief and let the assholes lament.

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Was there an evacuation order?

This looks bad.

There is an evac order to the Keys, Monroe County, Many of the coastal zones in Dade, and East of Us1 in Broward. Im not sure north of that.
We are expecting sustained winds of 130 and gusts to 150 from Late Sat through Sunday .
We are preparing for the worst(as best you can, if tornados are spawned or your roof opens , there is nothing you can do) and hoping for the best. So far, the track keeps nudging the worst way for South Florida

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Originally Posted by twonabomber

Was there an evacuation order?

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The zones right on and near the water in Tampa, where I live just outside of, are being evacuated.

The missus and I were actually on our way to Key West Tuesday for a Tuesday through Friday stay, had stopped for lunch in Key Largo around 1PM, took a close look at the storm track and estimated time of landfall. We called the hotel we had booked reservations for and told them we wouldn't be coming. They told us it was just as well, because they were in the process of calling customers and cancelling reservations since they were going to start boarding up the hotel Wednesday and were going to leave the Keys themselves by Thursday AM at the latest.

So we left Key Largo, turned around and went to Naples to stay for the night. We left our hotel in Naples Wednesday at about 10:30AM. We went to gas up the car. The gas station we pulled into had 12 pumps, with 3 to 4 cars waiting for each pump. We topped off the car, and just as I was finishing pumping the guy filling up next to me had about $5 in when his pump shut down: out of gas. We passed several other gas stations on the way to the highway and it was the same scenario, with 50+ cars waiting in line to get gas. We hit traffic in Venice, just south of Sarasota, at around Noon. It took us 3 hours to go 25 miles. Traffic let up outside of Tampa.

Wednesday night we went out to the local supermarket. Thankfully, we always buy bottled water for the month at the beginning of the month, so we already had 4 weeks worth in the house before we went down to the Keys. We go to the local Publix supermarket - a fairly sizable market - and there isn't a drop of bottled water in the place. Not a single Pop Tart in the place. Every single can of Chef-Boy-At-Dee ready to eat canned meals were gone. Every C and D battery was sold out. Every jar of peanut butter and jelly was sold out. They DID still have plenty of canned veggies, various Apple and Fruit juices and processed lunch meat (bologna, etc.). As we were getting the bologna, a fellow shopper walked up to us and quietly said if we wanted to get bread we'd better get it quick. We went down to the bread aisle and in the middle of the aisle were two employees with four large rolling racks full of pre-packaged sliced bread they had brought up from the back. There literally must have been upwards of 70 shoppers who descended on the bread aisle. No pushing or a riot scene or anything like that, but within less than 10 minutes a couple hundred loaves of bread were gone. The employees didn't even have time to put any of the loaves on the shelves.

Yesterday (Thursday) we went out and found a WalMart that had gotten some Chef-Boy-At-Dee canned stuff in on an overnight shipment, as well as Pop Tarts and the like. So we're fairly well stocked on emergency rations should we lose power. We're very close to several local/county storm shelters should that eventuality come to pass. We have all our crucial papers/documents together. Both cars are filled with gas. Nothing to do for the next 48 hours but wait.

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Originally Posted by THEDOCTOR

There is an evac order to the Keys, Monroe County, Many of the coastal zones in Dade, and East of Us1 in Broward. Im not sure north of that.
We are expecting sustained winds of 130 and gusts to 150 from Late Sat through Sunday .
We are preparing for the worst(as best you can, if tornados are spawned or your roof opens , there is nothing you can do) and hoping for the best. So far, the track keeps nudging the worst way for South Florida

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If it hits the Keys/Miami head on at Cat 5 (or even Cat 4) speed, they're fucked. No two ways about that one. The storm surges alone, with 20+ foot waves, will put the Keys underwater. Sections of Miami (roads, etc.) have been seeing encroachment from water for the last decade just from heavy rains alone: a Cat 5 storm surge...I mean, too catastrophic to think of in terms of damage. At least that section of the state has been evacuating for the last 2 days and still has another 36 or so hours before whatever is going to hit hits.

What the storm is going to do afterward is anyone's guess. Even in terms of where it is going to hit, anything outside of 24 hours isn't a certainty.

As you say, for those of us inland, it's not the storm surge but possible tornados - basically, the wind rather than the water - that is the thing to watch for. And those tend to materialize without warning.

I wish you all the best, my brother is now in the path...

Terry I hope you get through this with mininal hassle, power is expected to be out "for weeks". Nick my hopes that your brother fares well, and slso comes through unscathed.
Hopefully we will all remember this as a monumentsl historic storm that avoided damaging us too much
Be safe everyone

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Originally Posted by Terry

The zones right on and near the water in Tampa, where I live just outside of, are being evacuated.

The missus and I were actually on our way to Key West Tuesday for a Tuesday through Friday stay, had stopped for lunch in Key Largo around 1PM, took a close look at the storm track and estimated time of landfall. We called the hotel we had booked reservations for and told them we wouldn't be coming. They told us it was just as well, because they were in the process of calling customers and cancelling reservations since they were going to start boarding up the hotel Wednesday and were going to leave the Keys themselves by Thursday AM at the latest.

So we left Key Largo, turned around and went to Naples to stay for the night. We left our hotel in Naples Wednesday at about 10:30AM. We went to gas up the car. The gas station we pulled into had 12 pumps, with 3 to 4 cars waiting for each pump. We topped off the car, and just as I was finishing pumping the guy filling up next to me had about $5 in when his pump shut down: out of gas. We passed several other gas stations on the way to the highway and it was the same scenario, with 50+ cars waiting in line to get gas. We hit traffic in Venice, just south of Sarasota, at around Noon. It took us 3 hours to go 25 miles. Traffic let up outside of Tampa.

Wednesday night we went out to the local supermarket. Thankfully, we always buy bottled water for the month at the beginning of the month, so we already had 4 weeks worth in the house before we went down to the Keys. We go to the local Publix supermarket - a fairly sizable market - and there isn't a drop of bottled water in the place. Not a single Pop Tart in the place. Every single can of Chef-Boy-At-Dee ready to eat canned meals were gone. Every C and D battery was sold out. Every jar of peanut butter and jelly was sold out. They DID still have plenty of canned veggies, various Apple and Fruit juices and processed lunch meat (bologna, etc.). As we were getting the bologna, a fellow shopper walked up to us and quietly said if we wanted to get bread we'd better get it quick. We went down to the bread aisle and in the middle of the aisle were two employees with four large rolling racks full of pre-packaged sliced bread they had brought up from the back. There literally must have been upwards of 70 shoppers who descended on the bread aisle. No pushing or a riot scene or anything like that, but within less than 10 minutes a couple hundred loaves of bread were gone. The employees didn't even have time to put any of the loaves on the shelves.

Yesterday (Thursday) we went out and found a WalMart that had gotten some Chef-Boy-At-Dee canned stuff in on an overnight shipment, as well as Pop Tarts and the like. So we're fairly well stocked on emergency rations should we lose power. We're very close to several local/county storm shelters should that eventuality come to pass. We have all our crucial papers/documents together. Both cars are filled with gas. Nothing to do for the next 48 hours but wait.

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Damn.

One of my co-worker's parents winter somewhere on the east coast of Florida. They were going to head down yesterday.

Guy I went to school with works for AT&T and has already been to Houston and back. And my friend's brother in law is a lineman, living and working in New Mexico. I'm sure he's been working in Texas, he usually works the disaster recovery efforts.

Don't forget the old school hand crank can opener for the Chef Boyardee.

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Originally Posted by twonabomber

Damn.

One of my co-worker's parents winter somewhere on the east coast of Florida. They were going to head down yesterday.

Guy I went to school with works for AT&T and has already been to Houston and back. And my friend's brother in law is a lineman, living and working in New Mexico. I'm sure he's been working in Texas, he usually works the disaster recovery efforts.

Don't forget the old school hand crank can opener for the Chef Boyardee.

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We still have the old school hand crank can opener.

We went through this before in 2004 and 2005. Doubtless, Irma is much stronger, and just because we got through this before unscathed isn't an indicator of anything this time around...

It all depends on what the storm does in terms of the track and where it hits, as well as to how the storm lessens (or doesn't) by the time it reaches Tampa. By the time it reaches Tampa, the winds may have lessened down to 80 mph, which isn't great - it can still do some real damage. Then again, it may well fuck off into the Gulf of Mexico.

I have (obviously) serious concerns. We've prepped as much as we can, have all our crucial paperwork gathered up, have plenty of friends/a good support system down here.

Appreciate the well-wishes!!

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Originally Posted by Nickdfresh

I wish you all the best, my brother is now in the path...

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I'm not a religious person, but I'll shout out a prayer for your brother.

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Originally Posted by Terry

I'm not a religious person, but I'll shout out a prayer for your brother.

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He survived his ex-wife, I think he'll survive this one. They're both named Irma. ;) His ex is a complete idiot though, so not sure she will...

Anyways, good luck bro, hope it's not as bad as they say or it veers to the left of the coast offshore....

Looks like Broward county may get spared the super strong part of the storm if the projected track prevails , which would still put us in the high Tropical Storm force, low Hurricane force winds(70-90 mph if luck holds).
Bands are already starting and the weather is deteriorating, 40 mph steady gusts where I am in Hollywood.
Power is still on for now. Last I heard upwards of 30,000 people out already. The brunt of our end will be tonight and tomorrow.
Be safe everyone!

Made it through with a tree down , back room flooding and power out, plus I stepped on a fucking bee(?!?)
Otherwise me and my pets just got the house hammered with 100 mph winds and rain and are hot, but ok.
How did everyone else fare? Hopefully good?
691000 in Broward alone without power �� But at least it wasn't a Cat 4/5 direct hit tornados and roofs pulled off! I'll take it!
Hope everyone and theirs friends and family in Florida are safe!!!

My brother made it though with little problem, beer calmed his nerves as it sounded like a freight train was on his roof all night. His ex-wife's house also took no damage but several trees are down - which I suspect he might be happy about... :)

Yeah it was fucking loud many many times, freight train noise is apropos ! I dont drink so it was a white knuckler for sure! Trees down everywhere , no power(630,000 still in Broward) and its hot as donkey balls .
And I stepped on the only bee in the hurricane lol
Im relieved though we got lucky and missed a bad Cat 4 or 5 though.
Glad your bro is ok!
How about you Terry?

Well, I'd be shitting you if I didn't say between 11PM and 3AM last night/this morning - when the storm was rolling through - didn't feel like an eternity. We had lost power around 8PM last night, so sitting inside the house with a battery-powered radio, listening to the wind making this constant, otherworldly moan, praying everything would hold together...pretty fucking hairy.

By 4AM it was all over. Went outside and took a look around. Lost a small section of wooden fencing which was probably 30 years old and ratty/rotted to begin with. Other than that, everything else held. During the night, when I went into the garage, I could see the garage door being pulled hard against the inside tracks from the wind getting inside and pulling it outward: I thought it was going to rip the garage door out from the inside. We also have some old French doors and an old front door which held, but I wasn't too sure about the French doors at a couple of points.

It was useful as a stress test, because in addition to the doors and the fencing there are some hanging tree limbs I've been meaning to get trimmed but haven't, and will now do so. Even after all of that gets replaced and up to current hurricane code, though, I will say without hesitation we dodged a bullet. Had the storm hit us head-on at a Cat4/Cat 5, I have serious doubts everything would have held. So even after I replace/upgrade, I think the next time we get hit, I'm going to leave the state. A thousand things could have happened that didn't, and I got very, very lucky. Am not going to push that luck. This was a wake-up call.

Am very glad to hear you guys made it through.

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Originally Posted by THEDOCTOR

Made it through with a tree down , back room flooding and power out, plus I stepped on a fucking bee(?!?)
Otherwise me and my pets just got the house hammered with 100 mph winds and rain and are hot, but ok.
How did everyone else fare? Hopefully good?
691000 in Broward alone without power �� But at least it wasn't a Cat 4/5 direct hit tornados and roofs pulled off! I'll take it!
Hope everyone and theirs friends and family in Florida are safe!!!

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Yeah, it weakened just enough, and the track changed just enough...

If it had snaked up the gulf, acquired more speed and momentum and hit Tampa head-on at a Cat 4/Cat 5 - with the odd tornado to boot - I wouldn't even want to take odds on my house (or even myself) still being around.

Dodged a fucking bullet, big-time.

Glad to hear you made it through relatively unscathed. That pounding noise on the shutters from the wind and rain and the whole house shaking, as well as the wailing and moaning the wind makes.... it's nerve wracking. Waiting for the roof to come off or some giant debris to hit the house... nothing I want to repeat that's for sure. It's remarkable we were all spared a Cat 5. No way Id ride one of those out. Fuck that.
Again guys I'm glad we all made it through. I'll be glad to get back to daily porn posts or the occasional opinion on different subject matter.
Be safe guys

Got power back at 6:45 am this morning, after a night of 90 degrees and no breeze, sweating my balls off.

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Originally Posted by Terry

listening to the wind making this constant, otherworldly moan, praying everything would hold together...pretty fucking hairy.

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Originally Posted by THEDOCTOR

That pounding noise on the shutters from the wind and rain and the whole house shaking, as well as the wailing and moaning the wind makes.... it's nerve wracking. Waiting for the roof to come off or some giant debris to hit the house...

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Listening to a hurricane rage all night would make me (more) mental. Glad you guys made it through with minimal damage.

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Originally Posted by twonabomber

Listening to a hurricane rage all night would make me (more) mental. Glad you guys made it through with minimal damage.

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I'll tell ya, twona, the noise that thing made was just freaky. 60 + mph constant wind, with odd gusts reaching upwards of 100 mph, for 4 hours. Hearing that freaky moan, wondering if your house is going to hold together...and that was only a Cat 1/ weak Cat 2 storm when it reached Tampa. I can't even imagine a Cat 3 or higher...I don't even want to imagine.

I ain't sticking around for the next one. I'll board up and leave the state.

It's eerie for sure. Wondering if your roof is gonna come off or a giant tree is going to end up on it, and thinking "I'm going to be in a bathroom with a mattress on top of me and my dogs" is just tremendously stressful and frightening. Eventually I want to get out of the state and move to North Texas or North Carolina. My nerves are fucking shot and I'm tired as hell .

Just once I'd like the power to go out here in the summer, instead of when it's 20 degrees out. :D

I was getting work done here yesterday and my power went.

It was a nightmare, longest 5 minutes of my life. If I hadn't had my phone still online I don't know what I would have done....

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Originally Posted by Seshmeister

I was getting work done here yesterday and my power went.

It was a nightmare, longest 5 minutes of my life. If I hadn't had my phone still online I don't know what I would have done....

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Imagine your power going out down here in Florida during the summer, where temps reach highs of 90+ degrees daily, and your central air is most likely powered by electricity: without central air, the inside of your house will get upwards of (and maybe over) 100 degrees.

The poor buggers down here who don't have electricity restored yet, just the heat swell in the house alone makes it uninhabitable (never mind the lack of power for your fridge, for your water heater, for your gadgets) until the power is restored.

At 3 am I checked the temperature on Tuesday , drenched in sweat, no breeze. It said 90 degrees ,66% humidity, "feels like" 102. At 3 am. My poor dogs were just steady panting, I was in front of 2 windows with the front door open. There is just no escape from it. At 3 am. Nevermind the daytime. 3 am. When you can't even sleep to escape it, it really wears on you especially after being stressed for 3 days straight and worn out from putting up shutters. It really sucks. How the pregnancy rate goes up during these events is beyond me because as much as I love vajwa, in those conditions I don't even want to be touched.

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Originally Posted by THEDOCTOR

At 3 am I checked the temperature on Tuesday , drenched in sweat, no breeze. It said 90 degrees ,66% humidity, "feels like" 102. At 3 am. My poor dogs were just steady panting, I was in front of 2 windows with the front door open. There is just no escape from it. At 3 am. Nevermind the daytime. 3 am. When you can't even sleep to escape it, it really wears on you especially after being stressed for 3 days straight and worn out from putting up shutters. It really sucks. How the pregnancy rate goes up during these events is beyond me because as much as I love vajwa, in those conditions I don't even want to be touched.

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Has your local electricity provider been able to give you even so much as a range yet re: when your power will be restored?