Not necessarily. I passed some gas and it hasn't passed. It still smells like shit in here.
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Well...he fucking did it again.
I don't really remember how the argument started, all I know is that booze was definitely a factor in this because he was at his absolute worst yesterday. At this point, I'm ready to say "fuck school", I'll get a job just to be able to burn by last bridge with the fucker.
What started as a stupid little disagreement turned into him trying to kill me by strangulation and him punching me right square in the jaw, twice. And for a good 20 minutes we get into a huge verbal fight where I call him out on his bullshit and knowing that he can't face the truth, he proceeds to fire back at me calling me every single dirty, disgusting name under the sun. That's when I KNOW that I'm telling the truth, when all he can do is insult me.
However, the fact that he tried to kill me and punched me in the face twice (I'm lucky my jaw is not broken.) is NOT what hurt the most, what hurt the most was after our verbal fight when he admitted something to me that should have been said a long time ago. He said that he never wanted a kid. If I were never born, then his marriage wouldn't have gone to shit.
So, how about that? I find out that for nineteen fucking years, he's been lying to me, my mother, his mother and everyone else in his fucking life if what he said to me was the truth.
I threatened to get a job and to start working my way out of his life, and he responded by telling me that I'm not worth shit, that I'll never be able to hold down a minimum wage job and that I'll never contribute to society in any way and that I should just go commit suicide. Fucking beautiful.
I then told him that he should consider himself lucky that I stayed out of trouble my entire adolescence, I never did drugs, I never drank excessively (like he does), I've never smoked, and I have never been arrested. And you know what he says? "That explains why you're a fucking loser with no social life." Are you fucking kidding me? Besides the fact that since I started college last September, I've been much more socially active than I have been ever in my life, but keeping my nose clean and not doing self-destructive things makes me a fucking loser in his eyes? He's a real piece of shit if he really, truly thinks that way.
Yep...time to get a job and move out.
Post less on here and use your time applying for jobs . Your gonna get shit for your post . Don't engage come back and brag about your job when you get one .
You can't change an addict FragileCock. They have to want to do it themselves. Your mom is co-dependant, and probably has no idea how to get out of the situation. If she even wants to. Just like you can't make your dad quit drinking, you can't make your mom do what needs to be done either.
I seriously doubt your dad meant the things he said. Doesn't make them hurt any less. Maybe one day he'll realize he has issues, and deal with it in the proper manner.
Don't you have any other family you can stay with? I'd hate to see you give up on your education, but you may have to put it on hold for the time being. You do need to get out of there.
Just don't spend 30 years in college, like Angel.
Von, I never expected that you'd actually give me some actual advice. When it comes to her being co-dependent, you're absolutely right. At this time, both my mother and father have high-paying jobs. My mother is white-collar and my father is blue-collar, however I'd be lying if I said that me and my family live like kings. My mother depends on my father's income and my father depends on my mother's income which is probably the only thing that is keeping Mom from finally getting a divorce.
You know something, belting me in the jaw and trying to asphyxiate me to death was like love taps. Telling me that he never wanted me was like a dagger in the fucking heart.
:019:
Von actually wants to adopt you...
Oh and violence is never an act of love. Never equate it to love or even caring... it's abuse, pure and simple. You should have called the cops and pressed charges. Actually you still can... your old man needs a serious wake up call. There's no excuse or justification for beating on your family... none.
If I were to do that, when the cops show up he would find a way to twist the story around to make it sound like I was attacking him first. I will admit that I hit him back in self defense, not to hurt him but to just get him the fuck off me.
This man needs a wake up call, he needs an intervention because I know this man. He would have NEVER hit me and he would have NEVER said that shit about me if he was sober. Hell, the argument would have never even TOOK PLACE if he was sober. It was only because of the fucking booze he keeps shoving down his neck. It's not the beer that does it, he literally chugs this cheap-ass scotch from the bottle while my mother isn't looking.
Well...I could have seen this coming.....
Me and Dad basically kissed and made up. He asks me to do a favor for him and I did it, sort of knowing what was going to happen. He then gets all kissy and huggy and basically tells me how sorry he was for everything. So, in record time we go from hating each other to being friends again which is really fucking weird seeing as how after the air conditioner incident, we didn't speak for almost an entire week.
However...I simply am at a loss of what to do right now. I know that getting a job and eventually moving out is something that I need to do for myself, but I feel like I need to get him to just stop with the fucking drinking.....I want us to never fight again, and that can never be achieved if he continues down this road.
Move out.
Let him drink.
Share the air conditioner on weekends.*
Problem Solved.
:welcome:
*The Air Conditioner Incident. See Wikipedia. The Movie or the Original Novel. Just get the fuck out and trust to the trade winds for the rest of your life....you will do your heart good. Or stay the fuck there and poison the rest of your relationships for a hella long time.
People say stupid shit when they are drunk and angry.
There is a stupid myth about how people speak more truth when they have been drinking. This may be occasionally true in situations where people are too shy to express love but drunken statements made in anger usually you shouldn't take seriously because they are just the verbal equivalent of a drunk guy swinging an idiotic punch.
You do remember Ambition right? It is right next to Ambien in the Urban Dictionary.*
For the people in my area.... Humboldt was enjoying beautiful sunshine.....
http://news.yahoo.com/dreams-dashed-...6826.html?vp=1
Couple things you can do...
Keep an eye out for when dad is totally sober and in decent spirits... You don't need to have an indepth discussion but just approach him and ask if you can have a brief conversation on something important. If he's game... Just say "Dad, I love you. A lot of the problems in this household are directly tied to your drinking. Can you please give some thought and consideration to giving it up? It would help all of us to get along better. Please give it some thought." That's it.
The other thing you can do... immerse yourself in your studies. While doing so... study abroad... the library, school campus, local park... just anywhere away from home. Also see if you can find a part time job... Yeah, Yeah it's tough doing school and work... But Hey you are young. This is a time you can afford to burn the candle at both ends. But the main point is... get out of your parents house as much as possible and focus your efforts and time on building your next phase. When you are at home... be helpful. Prepare a meal... clean up a little... be cordial. Then be scarce.
You'll end up separated from a lot of angst in the home... busy with your life and less a target for the old man if he's on a bender.
At the very least, if you stay there and continue with school, get a decent part time job that keeps you out of there and away from him. As I said before, where you live, waiting tables, bussing, bar-backing-to-bartending are all pretty high paying options and would keep you busy at night and allow you to meet others. You don't want to interrupt your studies, but it sounds like that's happening anyways...
Maybe you could find some roommates that way that would allow you to get out...
Like Zahzoo said, don't you ever make the fucking mistake of equating violence with love. Far too many people do that shit, & in my opinion that is what creates the feeling of dependency towards the abuser.
I once overheard two old women talking & this is what I heard:
Old #1: Why? Does he hit her?
Old #2: If only he did! No, he doesn't care about her.
How fucked up is that? I swear, I really heard this. It chilled me to the bone.
Gather up your balls in one hand, open the door with the other & never look back. It's only hard for the first few months. If you're semi-competent, your need will force you to find a way to set up a life for yourself. When you settle in, it will all be much easier - after a while, you won't even think about the bullshit anymore.
You can't save your mother, but you can save yourself. Do it.
By the way, if you DO want to try to save your mother, the only way you'll even have a remote chance of doing so, is giving her a place to get away from your father, so you'll have to set up your own place first, anyway.
This is it, boy. You got noone else to help you & noone you can trust - you'll have to figure it all by yourself. I don't envy you one bit, but you gotta do it.
Good luck.
Cheers! :beers: