Icon's Football (Soccer) Knowledge Request Thread

Brethren and Sistren-

I will need some assistance this year. Without getting into a long fucking life-story discussion, I'm going to need to get up to speed on some football (notice how I call it "football" like I'm already a fucking insider fan) so I can drop knowledge and talk trash with some of my Latin American coworkers... and yes, I'm brushing up on my Spanish so I can curse them down as well. (FYI: I spend a lot of time traveling to Argentina, Brazil, Chile, Peru for, let's call it... "work")...

Anyhow, I need a crash course on the leagues, the championships, the teams, some basic history, etc. At least one of my teams will be BARCELONA because a coworker went on and on about those Madrid cunts... not to mention, I like how easy it is to get to Mallorca from Barc... I also need one decent international team for when the U.S. gets knocked out of whatever tournament they generally get knocked out of on like the afternoon of Day Fucking One (I'm assuming I have to pick a national team for World Cup when US goes down, fuck it, Spain it is, fuck the western hemisphere! But I digress...).

I need to be able to hold a conversation with any of my colleagues on a moment's notice for whom English is a second (or third) language, you dig? Feel free to give pointers about what to watch for in a game... like all Americans I was force to play this shite in grade school, so I have a rudimentary handle on the rules. But I need wisdom a bit deeper than a rulebook or Wikipedia entry.

So if any of my compatriots here at the Roth Army want to prep me for war with some Mexicans, Hondurans, this kinda cute chick who tells me she's Panamanian(?), our token Asian gal who went to - you guessed it - fucking BERKELEY, and a shitload of Brazilians, Argentinians, and Chileans... then I'm here to learn, Brethren!

That is all!©®™

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Ok its a big subject but a good start is Barcelona.
Barcelona up until very recently were the royalty of European football , having the most money and certainly the best player in the world Messi.
Messi is a good name to drop into conversations he is kinda the Eddie Van of football he is also Argentinean
Barcelona became most peoples second team due to playing exciting attacking football played with flair and skill.
international team go with Spain they are generally accepted as the top international team winning all the recent competions.

Recent developments in european footy is the fact Madrid and Barcelona got knocked out of the champions league by German sides both Spanish sides were hammered by the Germans. Many believe this is the end of the Spanish leagues domination and the rise of German football.As it has changed in its style from a cliched organised german Vorsprung Durch Technik style to a more attacking flair , taking the spanish at their own game.

Honestly any south american and in particular argentinean will be over the knot to talk about Messi , He has broke records for the last two years for the amount of goals scored. And he has that home grown loves his family thing that south american footy fans like.

Good point/shit stirring pointer : ask or say that either messi , current argentinean hero is better or worse than maradonna their previous demi-god from the 70/80's this will have them arguing and allow you to escape.

Not sure what footy you get on TV over there Bites Yo Ass will probably better for that kinda info.

hope this is some help , but in my defence its a tough question ... it equates to "tell me about this rock n roll thing" :biggrin:

Oh if you go to peru mention Nobby Solano .
He used to play for Newcastle and is treat like royalty in his home country of Peru.
He is a fantastic footballer and a bit excentric playing the trumpet at any press opportunity.
Peruvians love him .

Vandeleur,

Many thanks. I don't need a Matrix download in one shot, but over time if I have one or two pages of reference here to fall back on that's a start.

Mind The Gap!©®™

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No probs , will keep popping in and write more stuff down :D

Tell them you are a Partick Thistle©®™ fan and that you have just won the second top division in Scotland.

They will worship you as a god.

http://s3-ec.buzzfed.com/static/enha...68104101-5.jpg

Messi the best..
I think not he is just a ball hawk...
Imo

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Originally Posted by mh5150

Messi the best..
I think not he is just a ball hawk...
Imo

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Opinions are what footy is about , that and beer .
Just out of curiosity who would you say was better ? ( Ronaldo ? )

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Originally Posted by vandeleur

Opinions are what footy is about , that and beer .
Just out of curiosity who would you say was better ? ( Ronaldo ? )

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Yep you said it . Ronaldo plays more of a team game . I have this argument with my 12 year old all the time . He loves Messi.

I prefer messi , but hey go . Plus I hate anything to do with moan united :D

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Originally Posted by vandeleur

I prefer messi , but hey go . Plus I hate anything to do with moan united :D

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I hear ya ... Dont like Ronaldo team to much just think he is more of an all a round player

Wasn't Ronaldo on Spain's national team for World Cup? I thought he was fantastic on I Love Lucy... great show!

Mind The Gap!©®™

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Nah Ronaldo is Portuguese , close tho IMA will probs disagree

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Originally Posted by vandeleur

Nah Ronaldo is Portuguese , close tho IMA will probs disagree

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Ah, Ronaldo the Poof!

Sesh,

I'm not sure I can say the name Patrick Thistle without laughing and sounding incredibly gay.... I'm also not sure I should take football advice from a Scot... no offense, it just doesn't feel right.

Ok... gentlemen... I'll try to focus the discussion:

1) What are the main leagues? Break it down top-to-bottom. World Cup=Biggest Show; FIFA=NFL?; EuroCup=? I mean what is the hierarchy? What is played in the US? Didn't that wanker from the UK end up playing for an LA soccer team for a spell? I mean, do I need to have a team in EVERY league? Is it like NFL, NCAA, High School, Pop Warner? I just need some clarity.

2) What is the calendar/schedule each year? I know the World Cup is every 4 years, right? What are the other major dates/playoffs/schedules I need to be familiar with?

Many thanks, my "footy" friends... which sounds fucking gay, but I guess... when in Rome...

Mind The Gap!©®™

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Why would you waste your time even thinking about the foot fairy "sport" of SOCCER, Commie?

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Originally Posted by Von Halen

Why would you waste your time even thinking about the foot fairy "sport" of SOCCER, Commie?

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Wooah ..... Is there any fucking need :D

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Originally Posted by conmee

Sesh,

I'm not sure I can say the name Patrick Thistle without laughing and sounding incredibly gay.... I'm also not sure I should take football advice from a Scot... no offense, it just doesn't feel right.

Ok... gentlemen... I'll try to focus the discussion:

1) What are the main leagues? Break it down top-to-bottom. World Cup=Biggest Show; FIFA=NFL?; EuroCup=? I mean what is the hierarchy? What is played in the US? Didn't that wanker from the UK end up playing for an LA soccer team for a spell? I mean, do I need to have a team in EVERY league? Is it like NFL, NCAA, High School, Pop Warner? I just need some clarity.

2) What is the calendar/schedule each year? I know the World Cup is every 4 years, right? What are the other major dates/playoffs/schedules I need to be familiar with?

Many thanks, my "footy" friends... which sounds fucking gay, but I guess... when in Rome...

Mind The Gap!©®™

Icon©®™

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I believe that the first ever international football match was played in Partick, a suburb of Glasgow. That was Scotland v. England, the two founders of international football, or 'soccer' as they call it in less civilised quarters!

The pitch on which the game was played is now - and was then - a cricket ground. West of Scotland Cricket Club.

Partick Thistle play a coupla miles up the road.

Keep in mind, conmee, that the Scots used to be world leaders (and beaters) at fitba.

I think the record for match attendance is still 147,000 at a Scotland fixture at Hampden Park, Glasgow. There's one to test your new friends with ...!

Awesome post!

My grandfather was at that 147 000 game. I asked him about it and he said he couldn't see a thing... :)

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Originally Posted by Seshmeister

Awesome post!

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Your biased lol

I do love those old pics of post war matches with over flowing crowds.
147 thousand is an insane amount of people .

I looked it up and the official attendance was 149 400 still a European record and its' believed there were at least 20 000 who sneaked in that weren't counted.

The score was Scotland 3 England 1.

I was there quite a few times before it was modernised and made squeaky clean in the 1980s. It was an amazing place.

http://www.regista-blog.com/wp-conte...-5-500x328.jpg

The thing that won't be clear from that picture is that everyone who isn't under cover is standing. Standing people take up much less room than sitting people hence the vast crowds.

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Originally Posted by VHscraps

I believe that the first ever international football match was played in Partick, a suburb of Glasgow. That was Scotland v. England, the two founders of international football, or 'soccer' as they call it in less civilised quarters!

The pitch on which the game was played is now - and was then - a cricket ground. West of Scotland Cricket Club.

Partick Thistle play a coupla miles up the road.

Keep in mind, conmee, that the Scots used to be world leaders (and beaters) at fitba.

I think the record for match attendance is still 147,000 at a Scotland fixture at Hampden Park, Glasgow. There's one to test your new friends with ...!

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That's all well and good, but just because Napoleon had some military success way back doesn't mean I'd want to take military advice from the French. Wasn't golf also invented in Scotland? Are there even any Scotlandians even playing on the tour?

Look, I will consider Sesh's input, but only as historical reference material, not from the perspective of a fan whose team or country has tasted success in the game this century.

Mind The Gap!©®™

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Well, Scottish scientists and philosophers of the Enlightenment basically invented the modern world, so excluding our recent football efforts due to - frankly - the financial doping of the leagues with large TV audiences who have connived to make sporting integrity something that has little meaning in the upper echelons of the game, worries me not a jot.

A Scottish football manager, acclaimed as the most successful ever - Alex Ferguson - has just retired from his job as the coach / manager of the biggest football club in the world, Manchester United. He is being replaced by another Scot, David Moyes.

Both men are from Glasgow. From a little parish known as Govan - which you can see from Partick as it is just across the River Clyde.

our nrl is without doubt the toughest contact sport in the world. judge for yourselves.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=66wK9zAppHc

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Originally Posted by ashstralia

our nrl is without doubt the toughest contact sport in the world. judge for yourselves.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=66wK9zAppHc

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That is fuckin' awesome!

I think the biggest difference between those hits, and the hits you are seeing in NFL Football and NHL Hockey are, they are mostly torso hits. Torso on torso. Or a shoulder at the most. The majority of those hits are upright hits too. To me, it just looks clean. Like even though they are wrecking someone, they respect them, and the game. Make sense?

I would only argue hockey is a tougher contact sport, because of the speed. The speed these guys are traveling on skates is making for super violent impacts. Not to mention, there are a lot more hits in hockey, that aren't chest to chest, or face to face. Too much hitting when a guy has his back turned to you. Very dangerous. Extending the arms and projecting a guy into the glass or boards, is also a problem.

Back in the late 80s Aussie Rules Football used to be on non-subscription terrestrial TV in the UK on Sundays. One of the most exciting sports you will ever see.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X_hqosNvv5E

yes mate, having seen blades of glory a few times i get it...

:)

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Originally Posted by ashstralia

yes mate, having seen blades of glory a few times i get it...

:)

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I had to IMDb that movie.

Slap Shot is a much better hockey movie.

Slap shot is really funny .
As a sports fan I base my knowledge of hockey on happy Gilmore , actually that movie is how i learnt to play golf :D

Quote:

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Originally Posted by ashstralia

our nrl is without doubt the toughest contact sport in the world. judge for yourselves.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=66wK9zAppHc

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I disagree I did a lot of boxing in my youth and still do tae kwon do , there are contact sports and there are contact sports .

On the subject of a rugby , my mate plays at an ok level and I get dragged along sometimes . Watching it on tv isn't the same as watching it next to a pitch when a 24 stone Neanderthal hits someone at full speed . It is brutal . I don't how they just get up and brush it off .

ya know how a hollywood punch is?

Is it not a drink ? Now were on my pet subject :D

HEY! All you THREAD-DERAILING©®™ motherfuckers... I don't care about all that gay ass Aussie-rules bullshit... I wasn't sure if a fist-fight or ass-fucking was going to break out after some of those hits... but let's stick to the gay ass "footy" topic, so I can put a verbal beat-down on my Spanish-speaking and female colleagues who enjoy soccer...

Mind The Gap!

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Thread derailing ??

Yes. This thread is about the gay sport of non-USA Football, aka Soccer. I don't have time for chit-chat about rugby, Greco-Roman wrestling, Aussie-Rules whatever, comedies, martial arts, or drinking... but really, that's pretty much what this site can be distilled down to...

Mind The Gap!©®™

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