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Thread: Van Hagar announces plans for Cat Stevens tribute Album!!

  1. #1
    Fuck this and fuck that
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    Exclamation Van Hagar announces plans for Cat Stevens tribute Album!!

    HOWDY DOODY MOUNTAIN (AP) - 80's Top 40 sensations Van Hagar shocked the music world today when they announced their public support for 70's folk singer Cat Stevens, now known as Yusef Islam, who was recently banned from entering the United States due to his religious beliefs.

    "It's complete fucking horseshit" says lead singer Sammy Hagar "Shit, here's this guy who made some of the grooviest songs of our time you know, and they're just fuckin with him for no reason."

    Hagar, who has donated thousands of dollars to the Bush Cheney campaign, wouldn't go as far as to turn his back on the GOP however. "Oh Hell no, are you kidding me? I'm a multi-millionaire man. I love my tax cuts. Yeah, like I pay taxes anyway?"

    But Mr. Hagar's party wasn't so forgiving. Karl Rove, spokesman for the Bush Administration said "We appreciate Sam Hagar's consistent support and seriously urge him to reconsider his support of this Al Qaeda terrorist folk singer".

    Van Hagar's tribute album to Stevens, "Allah in the East, Jesus In the West, and Buddha In The Chocolate Box" is expected to be released early next spring, with the first single "Cheese Train" a few weeks earlier.

    When reached for comment at his holding cell in Guantanamo Bay, Mr Islam replied "Who in Allah's name is Van Hagar???"
    Eat Us And Smile

    Cenk For America 2024!!

    Justice Democrats


    "If the American people had ever known the truth about what we (the BCE) have done to this nation, we would be chased down in the streets and lynched." - Poppy Bush, 1992

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    Crazy Ass Mofo

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    OOOOO Baby, Baby It's a White World

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    Mr. Awesome
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    Cat Stevens is Psycho now isn't he?

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    Well he is Islamic, that pretty much says it all.
    -We have enough youth. How about a fountain of "Smart"?

    -If you can read this, thank a teacher....and since it's in English, thank a soldier.

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    ford,
    Did you get that press releaease from Dan Rather?
    The jellies kicked out the jams...

  6. #6
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    that's "release." Apologies.

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    The SISTERS are planning on getting CAT to write the lyrics for the next Van Hagar cd. So they've gotta kiss his ass. He couldn't POSSIBLY write something as embarrassing as "UP-CHUCK FOR BREAKFAST".


    DAVE OR THE GRAVE BABY!!!

  8. #8
    Fuck this and fuck that
    ROTH ARMY MODERATOR

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    Originally posted by clod speeney
    ford,
    Did you get that press releaease from Dan Rather?
    No, it was straight off the Washington Times/FAUX News wire, so you know it's completely accurate.

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    "So baby dry your eyes.........watch out for when the grenades fly........oh thats what terrorism....is made of.........."

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    I am so disappointed. I dont mind some of Sammy' stuff, but WHAT THE FUCK IS HE THINKING! At worst, just make another album with the band. Dont fucking ruin Van Halen by making a gay Cat Stevens tribute

  11. #11
    Splooge Da Hamsta
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    Originally posted by RAS
    I am so disappointed. I dont mind some of Sammy' stuff, but WHAT THE FUCK IS HE THINKING! At worst, just make another album with the band. Dont fucking ruin Van Halen by making a gay Cat Stevens tribute
    Are you joking or are you really that dumb??
    We're on a mission from ROTH

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    Originally posted by Splooge
    Are you joking or are you really that dumb??
    I think you know the answer to that my tiny friend.

  13. #13
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    Time to drag out the Beefey Doilies..

    Fucking PELICANS~!!

  14. #14
    Fuck this and fuck that
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    What's up with the goddamn pelicans? :confused:

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    I just heard Ten Thousand Dipshits cover of Peace Train on the kitchen radio. You can probably imagine the way I hauled fucking ass back here to find this thread.

    LMMFAO!!!

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    roy who?
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    REPENT FOR THE END IS NEAR!

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    "Oh Hell no, are you kidding me? I'm a multi-millionaire man. I love my tax cuts. Yeah, like I pay taxes anyway?"

    Did Spamantha really say that ??
    If yes, why does he always feel the need to reassure the
    media that he is a millionaire. Its almost like he is
    paranoid about how much money he has.

    The Mulit Millionaires I know, never mention that they
    even have money. What a wanker.
    BABY PANA 2 IS Coming !! All across the land, let the love and beer flow !
    Love ya Mary Frances!

  18. #18
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    How does a dude name himself "Cat" and then have his first
    hit single called "I Love my Dog"....

    Fucks with your mind. No wonder he is a big hairy muslim now.....

  19. #19
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    Why does it make me uncomfortable that Sammy uses the word "groovy"?

    something very wrong about that.....
    The Power Of The Riff Compels Me

  20. #20
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    MONA BONE JAKON

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    But it won't be lonely for long.
    Yes, I've got a mona bone jakon
    But it won't be lonely for long.

    Yes, I've got my reasons and to me they're all true,
    And I wouldn't change them, not even for you.

    Yes, I've got a mona bone jakon
    But it won't be lonely for long.

    Yeah!...

  21. #21
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    Cheese Train (Cat Stevens/Sammy Hagar)

    Now I've been happy lately, thinking about the good cheese to come
    And I believe it could be, something good has begun

    Oh I've been smiling lately, dreaming about the tequila I'll sell
    And I believe it could be, some day it's going to come

    Cause out on the edge of Cabo, there rides a cheese train
    Oh cheese train take this country, aliens take me home again

    Now I've been jiving lately, thinking about the Waboritas to come
    And I believe it could be, Little Sammy up in Mona's big wide buns

    Oh cheese train sounding louder
    Jive on the cheese train
    Come on now cheese train
    Yes, cheese train Cabo Wabo

    Everyone jump upon the cheese train
    Come on now cheese train

    Get your bags together, go bring your good friends too
    Cabo's getting nearer, a franchise soon will be with you

    Now come and join the Chedheads, it's not so far from you
    And Mikey's getting queerer, soon it will all be true

    Cause out on the edge of Cabo, there rides a cheese train
    Oh cheese train take this country, come take me home again

    Oh cheese train sounding louder
    Jive on the cheese train
    Come on now cheese train
    Yes, cheese train Cabo Wabo

    Everyone jump upon the cheese train
    Come on now cheese train

    Now I've been crying lately, thinking about Van Hagar as it is
    Why must Eddie be a drunken bastard, why can't he play worth a shit

    Cause out on the edge of Cabo, there rides a cheese train
    Oh cheese train take this country, aliens take me home again

  22. #22
    Loon
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    Ha!

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    roy who?
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    Just when you think Ed's hit rock bottom.......

  24. #24
    Fuck this and fuck that
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    In all the necroposting of this thread, I didn't even realize that it was Cat Stevens' birthday until I read it somewhere else. So with that in mind, here's the recent "Yusuf Islam" remix of "Peace Train"

    <object width="425" height="350"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/U7wEctHyuc0"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/U7wEctHyuc0" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" width="425" height="350"></embed></object>

  25. #25
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    This isn't the first time PoodleBlimp has gone all political on dis shit, remember;
    "John Paul's all bulletproof...and it puts [him] through the roof!"

    Take that, Sting.

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