I'm not one of these people who's worried about everything. You got people like this around you? Country's full of them now. People walking around ALL day long, every minute of the day, worried about EVERYTHING. Worried about the air, worried about the water, worried about the soil. Worried about insecticides, pesticides, food additives, carcinogens. Worried about rayon gas, worried about saving endangered species.
Let me tell you about endangers species, alright? Saving endangered species is just one more arrogant attempt by humans to control nature. It's arrogant meddling. It's what got us in trouble in the first place. Doesn't anybody understand that? Interfering with nature. Over 90% - over, way over 90% - of all the species that have EVER lived on this planet, ever lived, are gone. They're extinct.
We didn't kill them all. They just...disappeared. That's what nature does. They disappear these days at a rate of 25 a day. And I mean regardless of our behavior. Irrespective of how we act on this planet, 25 species that were here today will be gone tomorrow. Let them go gracefully. Leave nature alone. Haven't we done enough? We're so self-important. SO self-important.
And everybody is going to save something:
save the trees
save the bees
save the whales
save those snails.
And the greatest arrogance of all - save the planet.
What? Are these fucking people kidding me? Save the planet? We don't even know how to take care of ourselves yet. We haven't learn how care for one another - we're going to save the fucking planet? I'm getting tired of that shit. I'm tired of fucking Earth Day. I'm tired of these self-righteous environmentalists; these white bourgeois liberals who think the only thing wrong with this planet is that there aren't enough bicycle pads. People trying to make the world safe for their Volvos. Besides, environmentalists don't give a shit about the planet. They don't care about the planet. Not in the abstract they don't. You know what they're interested in? A clean place to live. Their own habitat. They are worried that sometime in the future they personally might be inconvenienced. Narrow, unenlightened self-interest doesn't impress me.
Besides, there is nothing wrong with the planet. The planet is fine. The
PEOPLE are fucked. Difference. Difference. The planet is fine. Compared to the people, the planet is doing great; Been here 4 and a half billion years. Didja ever thing about the arithmetic? Planet's been here 4 and a half billion years. We've been here, what, a 100,000. Maybe 200,000? And we've only been engaged in heavy industry for little over 200 years. 200 years verses over 4 and a half billion. And we have the conceit to think that somehow we're a threat? That somehow we're going to put in jeopardy this little blue-green ball that's just afloatin' around the sun? The planet had been through a lot worse than us. Been through all kinds of things WORSE than us. Been through earthquakes, volcanoes, plate tectonics, continental drift, solar flares, sunspots, magnetic storms, the magnetic reversal of the poles...hundreds of years of bombardment by comets and asteroids and meteors, worldwide floods, tidal waves, worldwide fires, erosion, cosmic rays, reoccurring ice ages, and we think some plastic bags and some aluminum cans are going to make a difference? The planet isn't going anywhere. We are. We're going away. Pack your shit, folks, we're going away. And we wont' leave much of a trance, either, thank God for that. Maybe a little styrofoam, maybe, a little styrofoam. The planets will be here, but we'll be long gone. Just another failed mutation. Just another closed end biological mistake. An evolutionary cul-de-sac. The planet will shake us off like a bad case of fleas - a surface nuisance. You want to know how the planet's doing? Ask those people in Pompeii, who are frozen in position from volcanic ash, how the planet's doing. Want to know if the planet's alright? Ask those people in Mexico City, or Armenia, or a hundred other places, buried under thousands of tons of rock and earthquake rubble if they feel like a threat to the planet this week. How about those people in Kilauea who build their homes right next to an active volcano and then wonder why they have lava in the living room.
The planet will be here for a long, long, loooong time after we're gone, and it will heal itself, and it will cleanse itself, 'cuz that's what it does. It's a self-correcting system. the air and the water will recover, the earth will be renewed, and if it's true that plastic is not degradable, well, the planet will simply incorporate plastic into a new paradigm - the Earth plus plastic. The Earth doesn’t share our prejudice towards plastic. Plastic came out of the Earth. The Earth probably sees plastic as another one of its children. Could be the only reason the Earth allowed us to be spawned from it in the first place; It wanted plastic for itself. Didn't know how to make it; Needed us. Could be the answer to our age-old philosophical question, why are we here? PLASTIC, assholes.
So, the plastic is here. Our job is done. We can be phased out now and I think that's been started already, don't you? I mean, to be fair, the planet probably sees us as a mild threat. Something to be delta with and I'm sure the planet will defend itself in the manner of a large organism, like a beehive or an ant colony can muster a defense, I'm sure the planet will think of something. What would you do if you were the planet trying to defend against this pesky troublesome species?
Let's see...what might...hmmm...viruses. Viruses might be good. They seem vulnerable to viruses. And viruses are tricky because they're always mutating and forming new strains whenever a vaccine is created. Perhaps this first virus can be one that compromises the immune system of these creatures. Perhaps the Human Immunodeficiency Virus making them vulnerable to all other diseases and infections that might come along. And maybe it could be spread sexually, making them a little reluctant to engage in the act of reproduction.
Well, that's a poetic note, and it's a start; And I can dream, can't I?
~George Carlin.