i got this from eddievanhalen.com there is a member that posts really funny stories and id thought id share this one with you...
LEGENDARY GUITARIST ADMITS IT WAS ALL HIS FAULT!
After 27 years, legendary guitarist Edward Van Halen admits, "I may have been a bit of a dickweed."
(DCF) - Edward Van Halen, fast-fingered lead guitarist for the rock band Van Halen, admitted earlier today that he very probably was the reason his band had such a hard time keeping lead singers.
"It's the weirdest thing," Van Halen told reporters as he was leaving anger management class this afternoon, "I was driving to the store for some more wine - I had gone almost fifteen minutes without a bottle and I was starting to get jittery - and I realized I was staring at myself in the rearview mirror. I didn't look happy with what I was seeing."
It was then that Van Halen had a sudden revelation.
"Then it dawned on me; I'm just a total dick sometimes. I had to pull over and smoke half a pack of cigarettes to get myself under control. Five minutes later, I was back on the road, but I decided right then and there that I had to do something about it."
What he did was head to anger management classes, where he went through minutes of intense personal evaluation. The final result was that he had to stop being such a *bleep* about everything.
But he still insists that he's not totally to blame.
"There was a lot of pressure on me from the very beginning. I was being pushed to everyone as this great musician, the band was named after me - at the insistance of Roth, I might add - and the first two albums we released had my name plastered across them. What was I supposed to think?" he insisted. "I thought my farts smelled like roses!"
After that, he says, it got out of control. "I wanted to be the boss of everyone," he said. "When we hired Gary Cherone into the band, something in my head was screaming, 'Don't do it! Are you insane? Who is this guy?' But I wouldn't even listen to me."
The guitarist cut the impromptu press conference short because he said he had errands to run. "I've got to call Sammy and tell him I'm sorry," he said as he strolled off toward his truck, a red, white and black striped Ford F-150.
Word is that Hagar was so moved, he stopped talking about Cabo Wabo tequila for almost three minutes. A spokesman for the aging vocalist was quoted as saying, "Sammy was very moved. He even told bassist Michael Anthony to get out from under the table so he could hug him. Everyone feels that this is a big first step in the reconciliation process."
Original Van Halen vocalist David Lee Roth, when told of Van Halen's comments, was quoted as saying, "See? I told you jerks that it wasn't me! Clear!"
Phone calls to Gary Cherone, Van Halen's abortive attempt at a third singer, were not returned because he never really existed.
Derek Springer writes to make the voices in his head quiet down so he can hear who his neighbor's dog wants him to kill.
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would be better than this...
