Sammy Hagar had a purpose.

[rustoffa]

I've been considering this for quite some time, and at the risk of offending alot of people, it's time to "lay it on the line" as they say.

The road to guitar-hero staus is long and winding.....in this case, "bumpy" to say the least.

In truth, the high seas were the precursor to the rough ride.

Fast forward to "land-ho"! and the utopian dreams of a young and impressionable EVH.

Being the product of an often totalitarian interracial upbringing, EVH longed for the stereotypical passive nature of the obese, permed, "anything you say" california mother figure.

Needless to say, these longings went unfulfilled over the course of time, but still lingered.

Fast forward again and enter "Mommy Dearest".

You guessed it- an uncompromising, foul-mouthed, disciplinarian of the highest regard brow beat the poor fucker and drove the perverbial station wagon......."Are we there yet ?"

"YOU BET YO ASS WE AIN'T THERE YET"!

Eventually, Mommy Dearest lost interest and the road got ALOT smoother.

Time for some utopian dreams and obese, permed, "anything you say" smooth sailing.... so-to-speak.

That's right motherfuckers, Sammy Hagar had a purpose.

A nurturing, no-need to change a shit-filled diaper, fish taco eatin', anything you say sweetie, fucking purpose.

A mother figure of the lowest regard.

[bueno bob]

Very good!

Hagar is everything Ed ever wanted after Dave, I've said that before. Ed didn't want to be driven anymore...wanted to just kinda hit that middle-of-the-road pace rather than push on and on for better and better records and eventual world domination...it must have been a dream come true for one as uninspired and unmotivated as Ed to run into a middle-of-the-road paced "musician" like Sammy Hagar; the match made in Heaven for him...ten years and more of hell for the fanbase.

[Matt White]

What a waste, like a gold ring in the nose of a pig.

[bueno bob]

or a beautiful woman with bad teeth, I say...

[MAX]

Fuck!!!

I just saw the title of the thread and was going to do something with it. LOL!!!!

Then it's my bro Stoff!!!!

[bueno bob]

Maybe Sammy Hagar's purpose is to prove to the world that there IS a God and he hates Van Halen fans...

Actually, I think maybe that's Alex Van Halen's purpose...

[Dr. Weenis]

Gay Hagar poetry contest at hitchworld1969.com !!!


your pal,
Dr. Penis

[Golden AWe]

spammy is like the new, tired, fat bitch you've picked up from the local pub just to empty your bags...but when you're banging her you're still thinking about the gorgeous ex you've lost!

no wonder eddie's on the bottle again...

[Mezro]

Originally posted by Golden AWe
spammy is like the new, tired, fat bitch you've picked up from the local pub just to empty your bags

This needs to be on a shirt.

Mezro...quote of the year so far...LOL...

[Carmine]

I thought I was gonna read something like:

Sammy had a purpose, he has proven beyond a shadow of a doubt, that David Lee Roth and his version of VH are far superior to Sam's!

[tomballin]

Don’t forget Spammy wife, “Kari Hagar” in this mix. This is the REAL untold story. She’s a mini-Sharon Osbourne in the deal for SpamBoy's career.

[tydhurst]

God, I hate Hagar!

[thefive]

One purpose was to bash Dave. That is all he knows. It will come back to him. What goes around comes around. That fucker will get his.