I've been considering this for quite some time, and at the risk of offending alot of people, it's time to "lay it on the line" as they say.
The road to guitar-hero staus is long and winding.....in this case, "bumpy" to say the least.
In truth, the high seas were the precursor to the rough ride.
Fast forward to "land-ho"! and the utopian dreams of a young and impressionable EVH.
Being the product of an often totalitarian interracial upbringing, EVH longed for the stereotypical passive nature of the obese, permed, "anything you say" california mother figure.
Needless to say, these longings went unfulfilled over the course of time, but still lingered.
Fast forward again and enter "Mommy Dearest".
You guessed it- an uncompromising, foul-mouthed, disciplinarian of the highest regard brow beat the poor fucker and drove the perverbial station wagon......."Are we there yet ?"
"YOU BET YO ASS WE AIN'T THERE YET"!
Eventually, Mommy Dearest lost interest and the road got ALOT smoother.
Time for some utopian dreams and obese, permed, "anything you say" smooth sailing.... so-to-speak.
That's right motherfuckers, Sammy Hagar had a purpose.
A nurturing, no-need to change a shit-filled diaper, fish taco eatin', anything you say sweetie, fucking purpose.
A mother figure of the lowest regard.