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Thread: Worst Hagar Lyric...?

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    Thumbs down Worst Hagar Lyric...?

    Okay so its a tough question since cockbreath has written some absolute stinkers, but which Hagar lyric stands out to you as his worst?
    Which lyric makes you shake your head in amazement at how FUCKING STOOPID it is, while at the same time causing you to barf for half an hour at the cheese factor?

    Id have to go with that little gem "....only time will tell if we stand the test of time" from 'Why can't this be Dave'....errr I mean 'Love'. Horrible lyrics, horrible song!

    Lets hear some more...
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    that whole song (WCTBL) is a shocker. The lyrics sound like a
    child threw them together in five minutes.

    Cant stop loving you sucks Mikey ass too.
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    The i cant drive 55 song just sucks. it was shitty then and its shitty now. thats like some dont worry be happy crap
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    I wasn't aware there were any GOOD Hagar lyrics in which to draw a comparison against...
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    "You're the wind beneath my wings"! Isn't Roy the crossdressing alter ego of the bitch that tried to be Janis Joplin in "The Rose"?

    I swear they are one and the same......
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    Who is Bette Midler?

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    Who is Bette Midler?
    Bette Midler is an actress/singer that bears an uncanny resemblance to Sammy Hagar. .. based on both being fat, old, red hair and both have FLOPPY, SLOPPY BREASTS. Bette was in a popular movie called Beaches and Sammy Hagar is just a plain Beatch.Thanks for your time..
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    It seemed warranted....

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    up for breakfast spews with stupidity!
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    I'm still trying to figure out what "It's 3-6-9- time!!!" means.

    Not that I'm putting too much effort into it.
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    Originally posted by academic punk
    I'm still trying to figure out what "It's 3-6-9- time!!!" means.

    Not that I'm putting too much effort into it.
    3-6-9 TIME.....

    Queer.

    DLR7884
    How about 4-8-12 time?
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    huh? are you calling the lyric or me queer?

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    Originally posted by academic punk
    huh? are you calling the lyric or me queer?
    The lyric.

    DLR7884
    Relax buddy....

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    Just checkin'.

    The possibilities for miscommunication on this message board are LIMITLESS.

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    It's also wirth mentioning that that lyric is on the very fist song on the very first album by Van Hagar...which also contains that idiotic "Hey waitress" shit.

    Which was then followed up by "Why Can't This Be Love"

    And then "Get Up".

    "Dreams".

    My God, how Van Hagar suck.

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    Originally posted by mewisemagic
    up for breakfast spews with stupidity!
    Yeah, its funny listening to Hagar attempting double entendres. He just plain sucks at it. Roth was the master of the wink-wink nudge-nudge lyrics.

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    You say that love has got you down, well that's buuuuuuulllllllllshit.....

    No Sammy, what I said was that the love songs on a "Van Halen" album are what's "got me down".

    Only time will tell if we stand the test of time

    The only other lyricist to ever use "time" twice in one line of a song was this guy....



    What does that tell you?
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    Song: "Feels So Good"
    Album: "Ou812"

    Average Rating: (0 votes)

    Written by:
    Edward Van Halen, Sammy Hagar,
    Michael Anthony, Alex Van Halen.
    ?1988 Yessup Music Company ASCAP.
    All Rights Reserved.
    ---
    Yesterday I saw my love light shine
    Straight ahead in front of me
    You really never know
    When love will come or go
    But yesterday I was alone
    Suddenly I walked you home
    I never really knew
    What love could make me do
    I'll send a message in a bottle
    Trust in the mercy of the sea
    Stormy wheather, oh yeah
    Waitin' for love to set me free
    Everyday I watch the tide roll in
    Stay until it rolls away
    Though nothing's on the shore
    I'm running back for more
    I'll send a message in a bottle
    Trust in the mercy of the sea
    Stormy wheather, oh yeah
    Watin' for love to rescue me
    Feels so good, feels so nice
    When loves come around
    I feel good, so good, so good, so good
    It fells so nice, so nice
    (Solo)
    Fells so good
    Fells so good
    Fells so nice
    When love comes around
    I feel good, so good
    Gonna make her fell nice
    When love comes around
    I feel good
    So good, so good, so good
    Come on, baby
    Make me feel good
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    I think any Hagar lyric that has the word "jive" in it....oh wait, that's just about all of them, so I hate 'em all.

    Hell, even EVH was dogging Sam on his lyrical content so you know they suck donkey balls.
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    It just doesn't get any fucking worse than this.

    Well this one way love-affair, it ain't fair
    It ain't no kind of fair to me
    It's all give and take, and you just take
    And I can't take it, you see
    And I'm givin' up on love this time
    Me and my friends, we'll do just fine
    because
    {Chorus}
    I've done everything for you
    You've done nothin' for me
    I've done everything for you
    But baby, you've done nuthin' for me
    She's done nuthin' for me

    Well you need some pay, a whole lotta money
    And be a millionaire
    Yeah but when that didn't happen overnight
    I found out how much you really care
    (yeah)
    All you want, is a whole lotta money
    All the rest, is just "jivin" honey
    I've done everything for you
    Aw, you've done nothin' for me
    I've done everything for you
    Everything, But nuthin' for me
    (You) you've done nuthin' for me
    Wait a minute........
    When I first met you, you didn't know how to hook a man
    Ya done nuthin'
    There was so many things, about makin' love you didn't understand
    Ya done nuthin'
    Ya but now you know, about everything
    And I'll take you on a pair of wings
    I've done everything for you
    Aw baby, you've done nuthin' for me
    I've done everything for you
    I've done everything for you, you've done nothing for me
    Now
    I'm going out on the town tonight, and get as wild as I can be
    I'm gonna find out what it's really like, to be loose, high and free
    Yeah I don't care what people say,
    I'll change my mind, its gonna change this day
    I've done everything for you,
    Just one thing, something, anything
    I've done everything for you
    Nothin', you, you've done nuthin' for me,
    You've done nuthin' for me
    HEY! You've done nuthin', (OW) you've done nuthin'
    You've done nuthin' for me
    NOTHIN', ZERO!................
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    Originally posted by BrownSound1
    I think any Hagar lyric that has the word "jive" in it....oh wait, that's just about all of them, so I hate 'em all.

    Hell, even EVH was dogging Sam on his lyrical content so you know they suck donkey balls.
    I honestly believe Deadward could have written beter lyrics.

    JIVE !! What, was Sammy "Huggy da farken Bear" or some shit ??

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    The "Hello bay!" from "Good Enough" on 5150. It heralded the end of VAN HALEN and the beginning of the travesty of van hagar.
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    All of them!
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    Originally posted by Matt White
    The "Hello baby!" from "Good Enough" on 5150. It heralded the end of VAN HALEN and the beginning of the travesty of van hagar.
    Sure did!
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    All of them, although the upchuck for breakfast probably takes the prize, for outdoing the ever smothered in cheeze wctbl!

    I'll be GLAD ALL OVER when I can finally say.....
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    How about this classic from OU812:

    "How boutcha now, oh yeah. Dig it! Is everybody ready?? Let's go!"
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    How about this jewel known as Summer Nights:

    Ain't no way I'm stayin' home tonight
    I'll be out until the mornin' light
    Just hangin' 'round the local parking lot
    Checkin' out the girls see what they got
    Yea they love it when me and the boys
    Start playin' love with them human toys
    Yea we just wind 'em up and let 'em go, oh yea

    Chorus:
    Summer nights and my radio
    That's all we need baby don't cha know
    We celebrate when the the gang's all here
    Hot summer nights that's my time of the year

    We made it through the cold
    This freezin' snow is gettin' really old
    Next year I'll head out for the coast
    Say boys I think that might just call for a toast, yea
    I got a line, you got a pole
    I'll meet you down at the ole fishing hole
    Yea them girls are biting good tonight
    Oh yea, uh oh, oh yea

    Chorus

    I always wondered if this was one of the tunes they were working on with Dave before the split, because the MUSIC sounds like it could have been written in the Dave era, and actually isn't that bad. The lyrics, nasty guitar sound and production completely fucked up any coolness it had. Dave NEVER would have written or accepted such drivel.
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    Originally posted by sethfle
    Yea they love it when me and the boys
    Start playin' love with them human toys
    ROLFLMFAO! Jesus Tap-Dancing Christ!!!! And he kept a straight face while he sang this?

  31. #30
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    "When I arrive, at the pearly gates
    Gonna have, my swim suit on
    Flip flops, and a pair of shades
    And ask the choir if I can sing along, yeah
    Wooh, yeah, yeah

    I'll bow down and kiss the ring
    I'll show respect, the best I can
    I'll be myself, gotta show the man
    Just exactly who I am, yeah
    Yeah, yeah, yeah

    I'm in the sun, I might be the one
    Maybe I'm, oh no, in the front of the line
    Up next
    Who's next?

    Well when I arrive at the pearly gates
    Gonna sing at the top of my lungs
    Everything I ever did
    It will be heard, it will be sung
    Yeah, yeah
    Yeah, yeah

    I'm in the sun, I might be the one
    Maybe I'm, oh no, in the front of the line
    Up next

    When I arrive at the pearly gates
    Gonna have my best foot on
    A big 'ol smile on my face
    I'll check no bags I got no carry-ons
    Yeah, yeah
    Yeah, yeah

    I'm in the sun, I might be the one
    Maybe I'm, oh no, in the front of the line
    I'm in the sun, I might be the one
    Maybe I'm, oh no, in the front of the line
    Up next, wooh
    Who's next?
    C'mon, up next
    Step right up
    Who's next?"

    Lähetetty minun PLK-L01 laitteesta Tapatalkilla
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    Hi Golden Awe, where have you been? Long time no see... Lost in the Laponian forests or half-drowned in one of your thousand lakes?
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    It's nice to see you Golden Awe, but for fucking fuck's sake I had just eaten breakfast before reading the first three lines of that nauseating lyric...

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  37. #33
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    Yeah the judge said, "Boy, just one more...we're gonna throw your ass in the city joint" Looked me in the eye, said, "You get my point?" I said Yea!, Oh yea!

    What's Shakespeare, Chaucer, or Keats when compared to that?
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    Still say this has to be the cheesiest thing the Ched Rocker ever did. Even more than any Van Hagar song. It's like he was auditioning for the fucking Bee Gees or whatever..


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    Quote Originally Posted by Kristy View Post
    Yeah the judge said, "Boy, just one more...we're gonna throw your ass in the city joint" Looked me in the eye, said, "You get my point?" I said Yea!, Oh yea!
    "Oh, does that mean all those big, bad men are going to take advantage of me when I bend over, I said to the cop? Cause I've got a pocket full of soap to drop!"

    -That was a throwaway line in "I Can't Drive."
    Last edited by Nickdfresh; 07-27-2018 at 10:21 AM.

  40. #36
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    It's always a comfort when Sammy utilizes the word "jive" in a song.
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    I just picked a Chickenfoot song at random on Google to see if he's got any better.


    First one I looked at - Dubai Blues

    I thought maybe he's tried to write something about the shitty treatment of serf workers there, women who get whipped for being raped, maybe just something about the place wrecking the environment...

    I got more change in my pocket
    Than your boyfriend will ever make
    A gold palace on the water
    Filled with butlers and maids
    I got more money in your country like your spendin' times two
    But I ain't got you
    No, I can't find you

    I said, oh baby, all I want
    But I ain't got you
    I said, oh baby, all I got
    Is the Dubai blues, I got the Dubai blues, yeah


    Jesus Christ...
    Last edited by Seshmeister; 07-28-2018 at 06:20 PM.
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    An interview he did a few years back, when mentioning Van Halen, he said despite the way his time in the group ended he wouldn't have traded the experience for anything because from a business standpoint being in Van Halen was a positive thing in terms of how Hagar's career unfolded while he was in the band and beyond.

    Doubtless that turned out to be true, but I thought it was telling that Hagar chose to focus solely on that aspect, and didn't provide a single mention of...say, you know...the music he made with the group. Nope. It boiled down to being in Van Halen giving him the ability to buy and promote Cabo Wabo and his tequila brand with a much higher level of visibility than he could have ever dreamed of had he remained a solo artist and never joined the band.

    Having read his book and the interviews he has given since, Hagar clearly values the amount of money he has made above all else in terms of how he defines success. And, you know, doubtless that IS a part of how success is defined. But he never really talks about the music he made. He's like Paul Stanley in that respect, where Stanley talks about the songwriting process only in terms of how he crafted a song in terms of calculating how much it might sell: neither of them ever talk about the sheer joy of creating the music, only the sheer joy they experienced when they made money off it, and it comes across like creating the music is a distant, secondary concern to how well the music sold.

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    Like, the way both of those guys talk about making music, it has all the allure of listening to someone who puts widgets on a gizmo while standing at an assembly line all day long, and there is a noticeable lack of phrases like 'creative inspiration'...

    ...I mean, fuck, everybody's gotta make a buck, but must rock music by necessity be assembly line blandness?

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    The accidental genius being that truth told the difference in taste between shitty tequila and stupid expensive tequila is marginal and the whole thing is bullshit.

    So he doubles down on his luck and then writing lyrics comes up with the idea of connecting with his audience by writing an ode moaning that there is a girl he wants to fuck that still won't let him even though he is much richer than her boyfriend????

    It's the opposite of fucking heart, romance, escapism, anything. It's the opposite of art.

    His lyric to his fans is 'sometimes despite the fact I am rich some of your girlfriends or daughters I want to fuck refuse and that makes me sad.'

    Boo fucking hoo

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