1.He was more intelligent than them
1.He was more intelligent than them
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2. He was better at playing guitar than Eddie Van Halen
3. He made better albums than Van Halen
4. He wasn't a Druggie
5. He recorded 60 fucking albums.
7. Moon Unit Zappa is a fucking Hottie
7. He made a song about Moving to Montana and growing Dental Floss
8. The 200 Motels Movie
He could jam at Joe's Garage!
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I never knew Easter Basket Watermelon Hay could sound soooo good!
Bobby Brown is really about EdWad!
9. He is the only Musician to be Inducted into the Jazz and Rock and Roll Hall Of Fame
10. He never played Peavey Guitars
11. Joe's Garage is better than all of the Van Halen Albums put together
12. The song "Jewish Princess"
13. He faught for Freedom of Speech
14. He taught Steve Vai how to play GUITAR.
15. He hated Republicans
16. His children don't need to go to FAT CAMP
17. He wasn't Married to a 3rd rate Actress
18. He used to have the BEST Musicians in his Bands and he only used to pay Steve Vai $250 a week
19. David Lee Roth paid Steve Vai more money than Frank Zappa to be in his Band
20. Sammy Hagar was in Van Halen
21. Frank Zappa pissed off alot of people
22. Frank Zappa OWNED his own Record Company
23. Information is
not knowledge
Knowledge is
not wisdom
Wisdom is not truth
Truth is not beauty
Beauty is not love
Love is not music
Music is THE BEST...
24. "Well fuck all them
people, I don't
need no excuse
For being what I am"
25. "What will this evening
bring me this morning?
What will this evening
bring me this morning?
Dawn will arrive
without any warning.
What will I say
the next day to whatever
I drag to my hotel tonight?
(If things go alright.)
What will I say
the next day to whatever
I drag to my hotel tonight?
( Will she be outasite?)
What will this evening
bring me this morning?
What will this evening
bring me this morning?
A succulent fat one!
A mod little flat one,
maybe a hot one (to give me the clap!)
maybe a freak who gets off with a strap.
{repeat and fade out}
What will I say
the next day to whatever
I drag to my hotel tonight?
(If things go alright.)
What will I say
the next day to whatever
I drag to my hotel tonight?
( Will she be outasite?)"
26. Titties and Beer
27. Frank Zappa wrote more songs about than Van Halen
28. Frank Zappa never made "Why Can't This Be Love"
29. There's an ugly little wasel 'bout three-foot nine
Face puffed up from cryin' 'n lyin'
'Cause her sweet little hubby's
Suckin' prong part time
(In the name of The Lord)
Get a clue, little shrew
Oh yeah, oh yeah
Jesus thinks you're a jerk
Did he really choose Tammy to do His Work?
Robertson says that he's The One
Oh sure he is,
if Armageddon
Is your idea of family fun,
An' he's got some planned for you!
(Now, tell me that ain't true)
Now, what if Jimbo's slightly gay,
Will Pat let Jimbo get away?
Everything we've heard him say
Indicated that Jim must pay,
(And it just might hurt a bit)
But keep that money rollin' in,
'Cause Pat and naughty Jimbo
Can't get enough of it
Perhaps it's their idea
Of an Affirmative Action Plan
To give White Trash a 'special break';
Well, they took those Jeezo-bucks and ran
To the bank! To the bank! To the bank! To the bank!
And every night we can hear them thank
Their Buddy, up above
For sending down his love
(While you all smell the glove)
Jim and Pat should take a pole
(Right up each saintly glory-hole),
With tar and feathers too --
Just like they'd love to do to you
('Cause they think you are bad --
And they are very mad)
'Cause some folks don't want prayer in school!
(We'd need an ark to survive the drool
Of Micro-publicans, raised on hate,
And 'Jimbo-Jimbo' when they graduate)
Conviced they are 'The Chosen Ones' --
And all their parents carry guns,
And hold them cards in the N.R.A.
(With their fingers on the triggers
When they kneel and pray)
With a Ku-Klux muu-muu
In the back of the truck,
If you ain't Born Again,
They wanna mess you up, screamin':
"No abortion, no-siree!"
"Life's too precious, can't you see!"
(What's that hangin' from the neighbor's tree?
Why, it looks like 'colored folks' to me --
Would THEY do THAT...seriously?)
Imagine if you will
A multi-millionaire Television Evangelist,
Saved from Korean Combat duty by his father, a U.S. Senator
Studied Law --
But is not qualified to practice it
Father of a "love child"
Who, in adulthood, hosts the remnants
Of papa's religious propaganda program
Claims not to be a "Faith Healer",
But has, in the past,
Dealt stearnly with everything from hemorrhoids to hurricanes
Involved with funding for a 'secret war' in Central America
Claiming Ronald Reagan and Oliver North as close friends
Involved in suspicous 'tax-avoidance schemes',
(Under investigation for 16 months by the I.R.S.)
Claims to be a MAN OF GOD;
Currenty seeking the United States Presidency,
Hoping we will all follow him into --
The Twilight Zone
What if Pat gets in the White House,
And suddenly --
The rights of 'certain people' disappear
Mysteriously?
Now, wouldn't that sort of qualify
As an American Tragedy?
(Especially if he covers it up, sayin'
"Jesus told it to me!")
I hope we never see that day,
In The Land of The Free --
Or someday will we?
Will we?
And if you don't know by now,
The truth of what I'm tellin' you,
Then, surely I have failed somehow --
And Jesus will think I'm a jerk, just like you --
If you let those TV Preachers
Make a monkey out of you!
I said:
"Jesus will think you're a jerk"
And it will be true!
There's an old rugged cross
In the land of cutton --
It's still burnin' on somebody's lawn
And it still smells rotten
Jim and Tammy!
Oh, baby!
You gotta go!
You really got to go!
30. Watermelon In Easter Hay
31. Wet T-Shirt Night
32. Packard Goose
33. Bobby Brown
You don't say.Originally posted by Denny
23. Information is
not knowledge
Knowledge is
not wisdom
Wisdom is not truth
Truth is not beauty
Beauty is not love
Love is not music
Music is THE BEST...
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34. Frank Zappa had more Teeth than Eddie Van Halen
35. Frank Zappa had more Hair than David Lee Roth
36. Frank had a longer tongue!
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