Who?

[FORD]

At least Satan is a Van Halen fan. He's been around since 1996.

[ALinChainz]

Originally posted by Katydid
As I told the people in hitchWORLD and now I am telling you. My time here is done. My assignment is over.

You can turn your wills over to God and drink from the living water, partake of Communion (Christ's body and blood) and go to Heaven.

Or you can turn your wills over to Satan and drink from his cup of wrath, partake of worship of idols and graven images and go to Hell.

You can fill your emptiness with addictions or religion.

You have free will. Your best choice would be to turn your will over to your creator. Tell him, in Jesus's words, "Not my will, but your will be done with my life."

I am a messanger sent from God. You won't remember me after I am gone.

Ding dong ... the wicked witch .... which old witch ... the wicked witch ...

[GAR]

Dear Katydid,

I know the counselor said we shouldn't contact each other during
our "cooling off" period, but I couldn't wait anymore. The day you
left, I swore I'd never talk to you again. But that was just the
wounded little boy in me talking. Still, I never wanted to be the
first one to make contact. In my fantasies, it was always you who
would come crawling back to me. I guess my pride needed that. But
now I see that my pride's cost me a lot of things. I'm tired of
pretending I don't miss you. I don't care about looking bad anymore.
I don't care who makes the first move as long as one of us does.

Maybe it's time we let our hearts speak as loudly as our hurt. And
this is what my heart says: "There's no one like you, Katydid." I
look for you in the eyes and breasts of every woman I see, but
they're not you. They're not even close. Two weeks ago, I met this
girl at Flamingos and brought her home with me. I don't say this to
hurt you, but just to illustrate the depth of my desperation.
She was young, maybe 19, with one of those perfect bodies that only
youth and maybe a childhood spent ice skating can give you. I mean,
just a perfect body. Tits like you wouldn't believe and an ass that
just wouldn't quit. Every man's dream, right? But as I sat on the
couch being blown by this stunner, I thought, look at the stuff
we've made important in our lives. It's all so superficial.

What does a perfect body mean? Does it make her better in bed? Well, in this case, yes, but you see what I'm getting at. Does it make
her a better person? Does she have a better heart than my moderately attractive Katydid? I doubt it. And I'd never really thought of that before.

I don't know, maybe I'm just growing up a little. Later, after I'd tossed her about a half a pint of throat yogurt, I found myself thinking, "Why do I feel so drained and empty?" It wasn't just her flawless technique or her slutty, shameless hunger, but something else. Some nagging feeling of loss. Why did it feel so incomplete?

And then it hit me. It didn't feel the same because you weren't there to watch. Do you know what I mean? Nothing feels the same without you. Jesus, Katydid, I'm just going crazy without you. And everything I do just reminds me of you.

Do you remember Carol, that single mom we met at the Holiday Inn
lounge last year? Well, she dropped by last week with a pan of
lasagna. She said she figured I wasn't eating right without a woman
around. I didn't know what she meant till later, but that's not the real story.Anyway, we had a few glasses of wine and the next thing you know, we're banging away in our old bedroom. And this tart's a total
monster in the sack. She's giving me everything, you know, like a
real woman does when she's not hung up about her weight or her
career and whether the kids can hear us. And all of a sudden, she spots that tilting mirror on your grandmother's old vanity. So she puts it on the floor and we straddle it, right, so we can watch ourselves.

And it's totally hot, but it makes me sad, too. Cause I can't help thinking, "Why didn't Katydid ever put the mirror on the floor? We've had this old vanity for what, 14 years, and we never used it as a sex toy."

Saturday, your sister drops by with my copy of the restraining order. I mean, Vicky's just a kid and all, but she's got a pretty good head on her shoulders and she's been a real friend to me during this painful time. She's given me lots of good advice about you and about women in general. She's pulling for us to get back together, Katydid, she really is. So we're doing Jell-O shots in a hot bubble bath and talking about happier times. Here's this teenage girl with the same DNA as you and all I can do is think of how much she looked like you when you were 18. And that just about makes me cry.

And then it turns out Vicky's really into the whole anal thing, that gets me to thinking about how many times I pressured you about trying it and how that probably fueled some of the bitterness between us. But do you see how even then, when I'm thrusting inside your baby sister's cinnamon ring, all I can do is think of you?

It's true, Katydid. In your heart you must know it. Don't you think we
could start over? Just wipe out all the grievances away and start fresh? I think we can.

If you feel the same please, please, please let me know. Otherwise, can you let me know where the fucking remote is.

Love, Garrett.

[Anonymous]

HAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!! Man, I 'm literally crying... GAR, that post rules, man. Haaa!! Damn, I can't stop laughing. Seriously. Have I given ya five stars yet? Lemme check, this post's sure worth it...

Cheers! :bottle:

[Anonymous]

Oh, and I'm not implying you don't actually love Katy or that you were making fun of her... God, no! That NEVER crossed my mind. Never. Nope.

Cheers! :bottle:

[Pope Must Die]

Gar is a genius

[Diddle Doe]

Everyone is bitching about this Katydid person but I like her. Hers seems to be the only threads with any real worth other than the ones about Dave.

[Dan]

Originally posted by Diddle Doe
Everyone is bitching about this Katydid person but I like her. Hers seems to be the only threads with any real worth other than the ones about Dave.

I like your sense of Humour.

[Nickdfresh]

Originally posted by Diddle Doe
Everyone is bitching about this Katydid person but I like her. Hers seems to be the only threads with any real worth other than the ones about Dave.

Interesting, in your last three posts, you've given positive comments on, or otherwise defended, two trolls; and you have made subjective comments regarding other posters content. Just who the fuck is Piddle Doe anyways? Just wondering.

Actually, I wondering how you saw Katydid's threads since they've been locked and are in the deep recesses of the DUMP at the moment.

Hmmm...another THUNDER alias?

[MAX]

Originally posted by Nickdfresh
Hmmm...another THUNDER alias?

Could be, could be not? I'm not going to kiss and tell.

Jeesh, I used to love the day when sniffing out a certain person's alias took a little detective work. Now, it's all too easy.