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Thread: 69 Reasons why we love guitars

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    69 Reasons why we love guitars

    because...

    1. it looks like a woman.
    Don't notice most of my posts are less than 2 lines...




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    What sort of women do you hang around with Cato?

    Ones you plug in?

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    2. They only speak when you want them to.

  4. #4
    IrishPunk
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    Women are like guitars. Love to be fingered, made to be played and if there Korean their cheaply made.

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    is fuckin' yer girlfriend
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    3. Because they can help you express yourself when words don't do the job.
    "Honey, my shirt got itself torn up. My shirt tore itself on that stripper's hand, and I need it to be sewed up for the show."
    "No problem, Dave, no problem. Say hello to Fluffy."
    "Fuck you, Fluffy."
    "No, no, you're going to upset Fluffy."
    "I ain't saying hello to no stuffed bear."
    "You know, now that I think about it, it's going to take a little longer to sew up that shirt than I was thinking."
    "Hi Fluffy, how you been?"
    "Now that I'm thinking of it even more, it's going to take half the time, Double D, Diamond Dave! Would you hold Fluffy?"
    "N--- yeah."

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    4. Their headstocks fit those forehead indentations they made YEARS after they form them.

  7. #7
    guitarman
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    5. You can turn them down when you've had enough of them yaking!

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    6. They only feedback when you let 'em.

  9. #9
    diamond den™
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    Guitars like to be fingered all the time.

  10. #10
    siN
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    I only can count to six!

  11. #11
    Fretting Machine
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    As a hobby it's better than bungee jumping.
    Why settle for something you have, if it's not as good as something you're out to get?

    Quote Originally Posted by Seshmeister View Post
    It's like putting up a YouTube of Bach and playing Chopstix on your Bontempi...

  12. #12
    is fuckin' yer girlfriend
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    Because it's a chick magnet.

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    11. You can use them to kill people and opposing animals who compete with you for food shelter and survival.

  14. #14
    Pied piper of poontang!!!
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    12. A guitar doesn't get jealous when you play with another guitar.
    If I want any shit out of you, I'll squeeze your head.

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    Originally posted by alexpgrimes
    12. A guitar doesn't get jealous when you play with another guitar.
    i dont think so. they are very jealous....

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    They serve as a phallic symbol to make you feel better about your tiny yellow tinkler.

  17. #17
    D- all the way!
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    14. Much easier to write songs on than drums.

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    Playing keeps me sane...

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    16. "I love the smell of nitrocellulose lacquer in the morning.."


  20. #20
    D- all the way!
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    17. 'Eruption' just doesn't sound the same on mandolin.

  21. #21
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    18. You don't have to wear a condom to fuck around with a guitar. They don't produce little baby guitars but they do give you G.A.S (Gear Acquisition Syndrom)!!!
    "If you want to be a monk... you gotta cook a lot of rice...”

  22. #22
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    19. Each has their very own 'soul'.

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    is fuckin' yer girlfriend
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    20. No matter how long you neglect it, it always takes you back.

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    21. They look just as good as pinups in magazines
    [size=huge]Roth Army Militia[/size]
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  25. #25
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    22. You can make them look or work better without them complaining....

    You can't cut off the neck of a woman without them complaining....
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    23. You can have more than one without the other getting jealous
    Roth Army Militia

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    Nobody ever got laid because they played the accordian well.
    No! You can't have the keys to the wine cellar!

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    Ive never tried to 69 with my guitar, whats it like, CATO ??
    BABY PANA 2 IS Coming !! All across the land, let the love and beer flow !
    Love ya Mary Frances!

  29. #29
    your mother's boyfriend
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    They help me to act like I'm 18 years old. Instead of getting pissed off about it.
    It's a shame that families should be torn apart by something as simple as....wild dogs

  30. #30
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    They make good investments if you get the right vintage guitar...

  31. #31
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    Originally posted by Panamark
    Ive never tried to 69 with my guitar, whats it like, CATO ??
    I don't know about CATO but I cut my dick on the sharp string ends sticking out of the tuners and caught my toungue in the trem. 69ing a guitar you love is more dangerouse than an AIDS infested Somolian whore.

  32. #32
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    Originally posted by Nitro Express
    Nobody ever got laid because they played the accordian well.
    I'm betting Zamfir's not getting much action, either...

  33. #33
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    Originally posted by Nitro Express
    I don't know about CATO but I cut my dick on the sharp string ends sticking out of the tuners and caught my toungue in the trem. 69ing a guitar you love is more dangerouse than an AIDS infested Somolian whore.
    Ouch ! You might want to try a bit of back body lovin next time Nitro !

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