Please tell me: Why does Samuelle always dress in Mustard N' Ketchup motif?

[GAR]

I think I asked this before on the David Lee Roth Mailing List years ago and failed to elicit a decent response, so I'll ask it again being that alot of you here aren't on the DLRML:

"Why does Samuelle always dress in Mustard N' Ketchup motif?

I've been wanting to get to the bottom of this Bottom's wardrobe-issue for a very long time.. mainly because I don't get it.

Hagar once was a skinny guy, he wasn't that bad looking but he's ALWAYS dressed in these baggy mustard-n-ketchup colored rags, and ITS NEVER BEEN ABOUT VAN HALEN.

I will tell you what I think, then let this thread move on the natural course here: I think it is just Sammy Hagar's way of saying, Sammy Hagar here.. NOT "voice of Van Hagar" here.



You see? It's never really been about the band, and if it wasn't for the fookin' STUPID colored MUMU's he wears constantly (i.e. if Ed and Al said, "can't wear that very gay shit on our stage, Dude") then I'm sure that retentive defiance would leak out in some other way, and I for one have some an idea or two about it as I usually do. Because I've been told I am full of these..

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

ALTERNATE WAYS SAMMY HAGAR CAN BE VISUALLY SEPARATED WITHOUT THE McCOLORS© on a VAN HAGAR STAGE



- Funky oversized hats: These perfectly hide neckfat really really well especially since Hagar's carrying at least a six-pack of Oscar Meyer®'s behind his throat, for proof look no further than reality-series star Anna Nicole Smith who validates that one perfectly.



- Farmworking Equipment: These include a grate assortment of girth-slimmers (nee': obscurers) as rubber thigh-highs, such as ranch hands slop the pigs with; overalls which are BOUND to come in the ROUND sizes Sammy needs - hey, Ed used 'em back in the day - and calfmilking protective slicks: you put it on like a rubber tent over your torso and you could hide any Buick ever made underneath so one size definately fits all. PLUS, black rubber and polyester fashion has never gone out of style in all of pop music history.

- NASA Issue Compression Suits: When you see some fucker out in space welding the outside of the Space Shuttle or that International Space Station rig, think how slim it could make old Spammy. Better yet, send him into space in one and cut the airlines free.



I gotta go do the dishes, my mommie's calling me.. soooo

YOU FOLKS GET THE IDEA? WHY'S THAT FAT TURD STILL MUCKING AROUND LIKE A CHUMP IN THOSE RED N YELLOW MUMUU'S?

WHAT WOULD YOU SUGGEST AS A REPLACEMENT?

Yours Truly,
Gar

[Three Lock Rock]

why does david always dress in spandex and use spray-on hair?

grow the fuck up.


three lock rock

david who?

[GAR]

The error of answering a question WITH a question is yours alone.

[Three Lock Rock]

and the error of ignoring the implicit answer is yours.

dont expect you to get that, but maybe somebody here has two cents worth of intelligence and the desire to translate it for you.



three lock rock

david who?

[GAR]

You assume the preclusion that knowing the answer while asking for it, is unintelligible?

Knowing that Sammy Hagar dresses like a buffoon doesn't completely answer the question of his motive, does it? We're all convinced here he is a buffoon, I'm asking for a motive and taking you to task because YOU of all should know why, being a fan of his am I right or wrong?

[Three Lock Rock]

the answer is that david dresses like a faggot.

pure and simple.

THAT clear enough for you?



three lock rock

[rustoffa]

But why all the yellow and red and shit?

Is it a cut and dry rebuttal to spandex and torn shirts?

Is it about the sun and menstruation?

There's only one way to rock!

We're looking for definition!

[Three Lock Rock]

red is his trademark. yellow is a counterpoint to it. ok - red and yellow are good colors. spandex and fur and gay male escourt attire is daves. do the math.



three lock rock

[rustoffa]

What about those multi-buckle bondage outfits???!!!

What was he trying to hide???

Did people do it to sammy in his earhole???

Three Lock?

[Three Lock Rock]

[rustoffa]

Fucking vinyl dude!!!!

VOA!!!

Parachuting!!!!

Metaphors!!!!

[FORD]

See the Aryan bozo with the red guitar
Parachute on the White House lawn
Gonna bomb the commies with his air guitar
So dumb he can't drive 55

[redblkwht]

here ya go..

[redblkwht]

Better yet 3 Cock Blocks momma..

[FORD]

And let's not forget McDonald's ad campaign from last summer....

[bueno bob]

LMAO!!!

Classic!!

[ASDF125250]

So three cocks rock, is he your idol because you can stop eating the mc nuggets, or because hes a flaming homosexual like yourself?

[bueno bob]

Originally posted by ASDF125250
[IMG]C:\Documents and Settings\User\My Documents\My Pictures\spammy.jpg[/IMG]
So three cocks rock, is he your idol because you can stop eating the mc nuggets, or because hes a flaming homosexual like yourself?

I'm guessing both?

I'm gonna make this mother fucker miserable in the Pen, I swear it...God damn it to Christ, this bitch annoys the shit out of me...

[ASDF125250]

Yeah, so far, he is the biggest bitch I've seen. He avoids all intelligent confrontation. He can't admit the truth. The pen fucking rules though. Make his life hell.

[bueno bob]

Originally posted by ASDF125250
Yeah, so far, he is the biggest bitch I've seen. He avoids all intelligent confrontation. He can't admit the truth. The pen fucking rules though. Make his life hell.

You can bet your ass we will. In fact, I'm thinking of throwing him early - say, tomorrow morning. We'll see how he likes it.

[bueno bob]

I am, I've been reading some of the shit this cunt spews and I haven't gotten this pissed off at ANYBODY here this much in ages. Spews the normal pro-Hagar rhetoric then can't back it up and bails when the goings getting a bit too rough for him. When confronted with an intelligent question or factoid vs. Hagar's history, he resorts to the typical name calling or just reiterates the same bullshit over and over again.

Three Inch Cock is a fucking nauseating poster. I am going to bitch slap him silly come tomorrow morning...even as we speak, I'm getting my ammo ready....

[FORD]

I think this is Kid Lauderdale again. Or one of the ex Pasture Dumpers. I definitely recognize the stench of this particular sheepshit.

[redblkwht]

Originally posted by bueno bob
You can bet your ass we will. In fact, I'm thinking of throwing him early - say, tomorrow morning. We'll see how he likes it.

Keep this bitch in check, round two will commence after the contender.

[bueno bob]

Originally posted by redblkwht
Keep this bitch in check, round two will commence after the contender.

After the Pen gets done with this dude, no matter who he is, I'd be surprised if we seem him again...guys like this come and go in about a week or so.

[redblkwht]

I Supersized your momma
3 Blocked Cocks..

You are....




Officially Owned

[bueno bob]

MMMMMHMMMM...now THAT'S what we like to be seein', I say....

[bueno bob]

Worth a second look, hehheheheheheh...

[GAR]

Let's think about this severe image problem and how it affects the Van Halen band..

Van Halen:

Al - completely updates his kit: Image Attempt [X] GOOD
Ed - worked out, sixpack gut, new amps: Image Attempt [X] GOOD
Mikey - well, his clothes clean & new: Image Attempt [X] GOOD

Sammule Hagar - hasn't been in the band a decade, you would think he'd at least have something new: NO ATTEMPT [X] BAD

[GAR]

yellow tee- $5 jc penny
yellow jog warmups $12 old navy

[Hardrock69]

Dude your fucking avatar sez it all.

Fucking Klown Mumu Shamu muffukah.

Why ask why?

Samuelle has the fashion sense of a two-year old.

3 Suck Cock has the intellect, and the fascination of eating poo poo that a two-year-old has as well.

[GAR]

huuhhhhuhuuuhuhh...


Did you mean to say, "A 'Samoo ShamuMUMUU'?"

HAHAHA~!!!

[GAR]

As I stated earlier, I think I know the reason why Sammu wears the stupid-colored McDUDS™ that he does; it is to visually separate HIM from the band formerly-known as Van Halen.

What I could never understand in almost 20 years of waiting for this sad courtship of VH-And-Sammu to end is, WHY?

I am looking for a motive as to, WHY does he dress like a Stoopid?

- why does he want to be visually separate from VH?
- why does he avoid the acknowledgement of how gay he looks?
- why does he not GIVVASHIT how bad it makes the others look?
- why won't he spend more than twenty bucks on his stage gear?

SIDENOTE:

About 20 years ago, I went to a buddy's wedding and they said I had to go for a Tuxedo if I'm gonna be a best-man so I actually spent over $60 dollars to rent one. All I got in return was some cake, half-glass of cheap Anton Champagne and some finger-sandwichhy's..

Sam supposedly makes $7000 per diem in Van Hagar, and the least he could do is show his audience some respect. I want to know why he cannot or will not do this. Fifty concerts at seven grand each puts his Salary 2004 earnings at about $350,000.00 which ain't CHICKEN FEED and therefore he could at least afford something off the rack at Mens Wearhouse or sompthin'.. even the Beatles could figure that out.

BUT:

I am still looking for MOTIVE people. It's like an unsolved problem in Algebra, and though I flunked 3 semesters of that shit - if you gimme a calculator I can usually figure things out given a year or two but in searching for a Hagar Motive.. I cannot figure this one out.

[bueno bob]

McDonalds Clothing = Sammy Hagar +
Fucking Retarded -
Diamond Style

[BenJammin]

Originally posted by GAR

"Why does Samuelle always dress in Mustard N' Ketchup motif?

YOU FOLKS GET THE IDEA? WHY'S THAT FAT TURD STILL MUCKING AROUND LIKE A CHUMP IN THOSE RED N YELLOW MUMUU'S?

WHAT WOULD YOU SUGGEST AS A REPLACEMENT?

Yours Truly,
Gar

Here's my 2-cents.. I am being totally honest and not trying to bash him just for the sake of doing so.

Sammy has no imagination or originality, period.

This is apparent in his songwriting and his cliched power chord guitar playing.

As far as his dressing style, it's out of touch just like the lyrics of Up for Breakfast...sheesh, what crap.

Just lazy really. Reminds me of people who just wear the same shit constantly because they don't care what people think (ie. fans), and they feign not caring about style because they have none to begin with.

[Hardrock69]

Good point. Spammy has never had "style". He is just a mundane and unoriginal singer/songwriter. I would say his best work was when he was working for Ronnie Montrose, but I say that because it was Montrose that was in charge of everything, and Spammy was just his hired vocalist, until he was fired.

[GAR]

Now that's looking at the facts, JACKS~!!

1981: Judas Priest breaks big with their TV video "Breaking The Law" on Don Kirshners' Rock Concert after "Green Manolishi" breaks them on radio the fall before.. pushing the Leather Metalhead image to the forefront, and surpassing the Clash's "toughguy in combat boots" personaes..

1981-1/2: Sammy Hagar thinks he's gonna be "more tough" and upstage the Metalheads with..

- even more studded leather?
- Nazi biker caps?
- armor plated codpiece?
- highheeled sneakers?


No. Sammy went with rows of buckles on his chest, that looked like reverse bra-straps.

[Vinnie Velvet]

Sammy has absolutely no fashion sense.

Fuck, the guy was so insecure about being DLR's 'replacement' that he started to wear spandex and straightened out his afro blonde hair for OU812 so fans would accept him more.

What a fucking loser.

[Hardrock69]

Dude the avatar rocks.