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I think I asked this before on the David Lee Roth Mailing List years ago and failed to elicit a decent response, so I'll ask it again being that alot of you here aren't on the DLRML:
"Why does Samuelle always dress in Mustard N' Ketchup motif?
I've been wanting to get to the bottom of this Bottom's wardrobe-issue for a very long time.. mainly because I don't get it.
Hagar once was a skinny guy, he wasn't that bad looking but he's ALWAYS dressed in these baggy mustard-n-ketchup colored rags, and ITS NEVER BEEN ABOUT VAN HALEN.
I will tell you what I think, then let this thread move on the natural course here: I think it is just Sammy Hagar's way of saying, Sammy Hagar here.. NOT "voice of Van Hagar" here.
You see? It's never really been about the band, and if it wasn't for the fookin' STUPID colored MUMU's he wears constantly (i.e. if Ed and Al said, "can't wear that very gay shit on our stage, Dude") then I'm sure that retentive defiance would leak out in some other way, and I for one have some an idea or two about it as I usually do. Because I've been told I am full of these..
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ALTERNATE WAYS SAMMY HAGAR CAN BE VISUALLY SEPARATED WITHOUT THE McCOLORS© on a VAN HAGAR STAGE
- Funky oversized hats: These perfectly hide neckfat really really well especially since Hagar's carrying at least a six-pack of Oscar Meyer®'s behind his throat, for proof look no further than reality-series star Anna Nicole Smith who validates that one perfectly.
- Farmworking Equipment: These include a grate assortment of girth-slimmers (nee': obscurers) as rubber thigh-highs, such as ranch hands slop the pigs with; overalls which are BOUND to come in the ROUND sizes Sammy needs - hey, Ed used 'em back in the day - and calfmilking protective slicks: you put it on like a rubber tent over your torso and you could hide any Buick ever made underneath so one size definately fits all. PLUS, black rubber and polyester fashion has never gone out of style in all of pop music history.
- NASA Issue Compression Suits: When you see some fucker out in space welding the outside of the Space Shuttle or that International Space Station rig, think how slim it could make old Spammy. Better yet, send him into space in one and cut the airlines free.
I gotta go do the dishes, my mommie's calling me.. soooo
YOU FOLKS GET THE IDEA? WHY'S THAT FAT TURD STILL MUCKING AROUND LIKE A CHUMP IN THOSE RED N YELLOW MUMUU'S?
WHAT WOULD YOU SUGGEST AS A REPLACEMENT?
Yours Truly,
Gar
"Why does Samuelle always dress in Mustard N' Ketchup motif?
I've been wanting to get to the bottom of this Bottom's wardrobe-issue for a very long time.. mainly because I don't get it.
Hagar once was a skinny guy, he wasn't that bad looking but he's ALWAYS dressed in these baggy mustard-n-ketchup colored rags, and ITS NEVER BEEN ABOUT VAN HALEN.
I will tell you what I think, then let this thread move on the natural course here: I think it is just Sammy Hagar's way of saying, Sammy Hagar here.. NOT "voice of Van Hagar" here.
You see? It's never really been about the band, and if it wasn't for the fookin' STUPID colored MUMU's he wears constantly (i.e. if Ed and Al said, "can't wear that very gay shit on our stage, Dude") then I'm sure that retentive defiance would leak out in some other way, and I for one have some an idea or two about it as I usually do. Because I've been told I am full of these..
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
ALTERNATE WAYS SAMMY HAGAR CAN BE VISUALLY SEPARATED WITHOUT THE McCOLORS© on a VAN HAGAR STAGE
- Funky oversized hats: These perfectly hide neckfat really really well especially since Hagar's carrying at least a six-pack of Oscar Meyer®'s behind his throat, for proof look no further than reality-series star Anna Nicole Smith who validates that one perfectly.
- Farmworking Equipment: These include a grate assortment of girth-slimmers (nee': obscurers) as rubber thigh-highs, such as ranch hands slop the pigs with; overalls which are BOUND to come in the ROUND sizes Sammy needs - hey, Ed used 'em back in the day - and calfmilking protective slicks: you put it on like a rubber tent over your torso and you could hide any Buick ever made underneath so one size definately fits all. PLUS, black rubber and polyester fashion has never gone out of style in all of pop music history.
- NASA Issue Compression Suits: When you see some fucker out in space welding the outside of the Space Shuttle or that International Space Station rig, think how slim it could make old Spammy. Better yet, send him into space in one and cut the airlines free.
I gotta go do the dishes, my mommie's calling me.. soooo
YOU FOLKS GET THE IDEA? WHY'S THAT FAT TURD STILL MUCKING AROUND LIKE A CHUMP IN THOSE RED N YELLOW MUMUU'S?
WHAT WOULD YOU SUGGEST AS A REPLACEMENT?
Yours Truly,
Gar
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