Katydid's Prayer Thread

[vanzilla]

I'm not a religious man. Those who know me well already know that.

But I do often speak with the Lord, privately of course.

We are friends. He does things for me - I do things for him.

After hearing that Katy's back in full force - I started to read some of her threads. The points she made about living a life that Jesus would lead really made sense. I was starting to convert. I almost went to church this morning.

Then I see that she's cursing, and starting flame wars in other people's threads. Of course, this is nothing new - but it got me thinking...how could a woman who claims she is a devout Christian have a mouth like a sailor and start fights with others?

-Unless she wasn't a Christian at all...

So Katy - since you're always telling us to accept Jesus Christ as our savior or else we're going to burn in hell - I figure that since you have strayed from the Lord's path, we here at the Army should do something to get you back on it.

[vanzilla]

LET US PRAY[/B]

Lord, we here at the Army don't ask for much...but when we do, you pull through for us.

Remember that time lord, back in 89 when we wanted the wall to fall down - and you made that happen. That was great.

And remember lord, back in 1996 when Eddie kicked Dave out of the band and we all prayed that you'd give him tongue cancer and turn his career into shambles - and you made it happen. That was awesome.

So lord, we return to you today to ask of one more thing. Lord please put Katydid back onto your path of righteousness. Make her see the way lord and forever walk in your golden shadow up in thy heavenly skies.

Lord I ask that you give Katy purpose in her life. Enough purpose for her to get her fat ass off of the computer and stop taunting other people. Enough purpose for her to maybe shower at least once a month. Enough purpose for her to maybe find some real work so she could quit her job as jizz mopper at the Boobie Bungalow.

Lord I want you to give this woman enough purpose in her life that she stops collecting welfare checks. Enough purpose that she stops using food stamps to buy cigarettes. Enough purpose to actually go out and discover the wonders of a tooth brush.

And finally lord, I ask that you demand her to stop being a mouth piece for your agenda. We're all smart enough to know that if you wanted to talk to us, you wouldn't use Katy as a translator.

In your name we pray.
Amen.

Oh yeh, and God - if she still doesn't do what we prayed for, could you at least give her the worst case of crotch rot in the history of STD's?

What's that God? Already taken care of?! You're the greatest!

[vanzilla]

So there you have it folks, If you have a prayer for Katy - send it here. And remember, God does not discriminate.

[flappo]

Dear Lord

Lordy lordy lordy

Please take katy away from us

sooner the better

a-sshole

[vanzilla]

Originally posted by flappo
Dear Lord

Lordy lordy lordy

Please take katy away from us

sooner the better

a-sshole

AMEN TO THAT FLAPS!

[fanofdave]

all we, like sheep, have gone astray....

[Anonymous]

DON'T tempt her, Vanzilla! It was hard work to get her to leave... let's not 'pray with fire'.

Cheers! :bottle:

[Seshmeister]

I used to have an imaginary friend called George...

[Hardrock69]

She has an imaginary friend named God.....

[Anonymous]

Originally posted by Hardrock69
She has an imaginary friend named God.....

Hahahahahahaha! Grate one, Hardrock!

Cheers1 :bottle:

[Phil theStalker]

Originally posted by Imapus Sylicker
Hahahahahahaha! Grate one, Hardrock!

Cheers1 :bottle:

She's so heavy.




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[bueno bob]

You know, Coroner did an AMAZING version of "I Want You" on their Mental Vortex album from 1991...

DEAR GOD,

PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE BRING CORONER BACK.

YOUR HUMBLE SHEEP SHEERER,

BUENO BOB