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Just wondering...
I’ve just seen the most appalling TV programme on Channel 4, entitled 101 Embarassing Sexual Accidents. I wasn’t watching it as such, you understand, it was just on in the background while I was working on my computer. I’m not easily offended, but I was shocked (shocked! I tell you) to hear the story of Stephen Hall, who was arrested for having sex with a goat.
According to the programme, passengers on a train witnessed the terrible act and called the police. When they turned up Hall denied everything, so they called in forensics. After all, you can’t risk letting a dangerous goat botherer run around loose in public, so it’s important to use every resource available. The scientists found (ahem) evidence on the goat, and goat hairs in Hall’s underpants. Now, according to DI Dave Crinion, Now it wouldn’t do to have goats being upset, so clearly Judge Michael Mettyear had no choice but lock Hall in the slammer for six months.
Well that’s a relief, but wait! Before you think you can sleep soundly in your bed tonight, consider this:
The judge expressed frustration at being unable to order that Hall be banned from working with children in the future, adding: “You have pleaded guilty to buggery with an animal, a goat. It was committed in open air with people about, with people who could see.
“You were acting in an indecent manner, indeed, there was an seven-year-old boy in a position to see, although he was protected by his grandfather.”
I’ve just seen the most appalling TV programme on Channel 4, entitled 101 Embarassing Sexual Accidents. I wasn’t watching it as such, you understand, it was just on in the background while I was working on my computer. I’m not easily offended, but I was shocked (shocked! I tell you) to hear the story of Stephen Hall, who was arrested for having sex with a goat.
According to the programme, passengers on a train witnessed the terrible act and called the police. When they turned up Hall denied everything, so they called in forensics. After all, you can’t risk letting a dangerous goat botherer run around loose in public, so it’s important to use every resource available. The scientists found (ahem) evidence on the goat, and goat hairs in Hall’s underpants. Now, according to DI Dave Crinion, Now it wouldn’t do to have goats being upset, so clearly Judge Michael Mettyear had no choice but lock Hall in the slammer for six months.
Well that’s a relief, but wait! Before you think you can sleep soundly in your bed tonight, consider this:
The judge expressed frustration at being unable to order that Hall be banned from working with children in the future, adding: “You have pleaded guilty to buggery with an animal, a goat. It was committed in open air with people about, with people who could see.
“You were acting in an indecent manner, indeed, there was an seven-year-old boy in a position to see, although he was protected by his grandfather.”
We used to play football together. :p 
With the way he's been yappin' as of late, I had no choice but to go for the jugular.
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