Has this ever happened to you?

[Dickface McSlapnuts]

Ok gang,
This is the thread to discuss all the sexual bloopers you have had in your life.
Those of you that have sex that is.
One time I was having sex with this hot ass chick.
She was smokin'.
It was our first date of course.
We went back to my house.
We started making love, and I think this chick had watched more than 1 porno movie.

She started making all these groaning noises, and yipping... like one of those Taco Bell dogs.
Fuck.. We had sex for almost 3 hours and I couldn't bust my wad.
The whole time I am having sex it is just sounding like I am skinning a fucking cat.

Finally I said fuck it and pulled the baseball bat out of her ass..
Joking.. Finally I said fuck it and gave up.

She was like "Whats the matter.. Did you cum?"
I said "Umm.. no.. I can't. All that fucking yelling you did turned me off. Please get the fuck out"
True story.

So.. any sexual bloopers or escapades that went the wrong way?

[Viking]

I accidentally shot nut butter up my old lady's nose tonight. Does that count?

[Dr. Love]

I was getting a blow job once, when I must have made a noise or something, cause the chick pulled off and said, "What?" right about the time I shot off, hitting her in the eye.

[Panamark]

God. Where do I start.

How about funny sexual bloopers that have happened to friends of
mine ? (Yeah, friends !!)

This one reminds me why Im proud to be Australian.

These two dudes I knew picked up this chick who wanted them both to do her at the same time. (One in the arse and one in the pussy)
The two guys are mates, and thought it was ok, except they were worried that their balls would touch, and if they did, that would make them poofters. So in a moment of ingenuity, one of them ripped a piece of cardboard off the side of a Beer carton. Problem solved, they just held the cardboard between their nutsacks (Whilst both fucking the chick) this stopped them from being poofters !!

[Sweet Irony]

Originally posted by Panamark
they just held the cardboard between their nutsacks

LOL!!!

Ingenuity, for sure----