I seriously just fucked up bigtime.

[rustoffa]

Actually, that takes me back to working on my insinkerator. (the post)

For some reason...when I looked at the post, it reminded me of the noise the insinkerator made when I poured some oatmeal down it.

This was after I fixed it...like just testing it or whatever.

Thank's for the memories!

Goddamn, you're a garbage disposal soundboard!

[Matt White]

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

"Double the Egg-roll & ALL THE PORK!!!"


I see our fav Troll has been moonlighting!!!

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!

[Phil theStalker]

Originally posted by rustoffa
It's like shit imitating fenceposts.

I can't fucking believe it.

Like thirty minutes ago, I had 8 or 10 windows open and was just cutting and pasting like a maniac. Thirty minutes you say? That's right, it took me that long to realize that I posted a fucked-up Christina Aguilera fisting thread @ the PUBLIC BROADCASTING SYSTEM FORUM!!!

I don't know...

I used t2o bee like dat..

butt then i met flappo and hitch..

uh uh u hu hu h uh uh u hu hu h u h

and now i'm fine..


so fine.........


=PtS=

[larbo]

Originally posted by rustoffa
Are you ready for an update?

It might be the last one. I've received OFFICIAL notification from the PBS forums that LITIGATION is a fucking reality.

Several weeks ago, I was granted re-admission to the boards, based strictly on my promise of no more shenanigans. The folks @ Victory Garden were very understanding...."NOVA" was a whole 'nother story. They wouldn't let it go...."Oh, look who's back! Got any more of those physiological masterpieces?" "Sorry man, no colostomy threads here!"

I didn't let it bother me. You know what I DID do? That's right, I left the fucking window open. It's like some kind of voodoo hex or some shit....why in the fuck can't I fuck up and post the inappropriate stuff here? I mean, this fucking window was open too!

So I'm busy fucking up this AFL forum, and instead of posting the monkey fucking a football gif there, I put it in some thread about Android technology at PBS.

Me=dipshit.

this is the funniest shit I have ever heard. I'm still crying from laughing so damn hard. it sounds like you have luck like I do rustoffa.
it makes me wanna go over there and tell them I know you and then post a pic of a nun getting fucked in the ass by a donkey.

[Cathedral]

You think that's bad?

I went to a family reunion this past weekend and found myself checking out the 20 somethings that were teens last i saw them.
Then i worked out if they were in or out of my own bloodline, lol.

So yeah, this Kentucky bread mother fucker went to a Reunion and got wood.

[rustoffa]

I'm sure most of y'all have been wondering what kind of serious-assed fuck up I could accomplish next. Welp, wonder no longer.

Being bored out of my fucking skull earlier, I decided to say hello to the dipshits on Talkshitty. This is no small task, as there are like 500 thousand chat rooms on that thing. So I did eeney meeney miney moe and ended up in ARGOS CHAT™.

This fucking chat room was weird. They were talking about relatives in GREECE and shit. I asked if anyone had relatives on CRETE, and commented about how fucking old it was. Some fucker asks me if I took a cruise over there. I'm like, "who the fuck are you? Agammemnon?" Then some bitch goes, "you mis-spelled it dumbass." It was on like donkey kong.

So I'm like, "sorry about the grammatical error afroditey, why are you mithological fuckers so fulla hate?" She commented on how that was kind of funny, and said "welcome to ARGOS CHAT™."

Then this other fucker goes, "I didn't think it was funny, I thought it was stupid." So I go, "Didn't you notice my name dude? It says Ackilleys....my fucking name has survived centuries....unless you're Paris Hilton, I suggest you shut the fuck up and learn how to shoot a bow and arrow!"

Right after that I got a little message that said "We know where you are, you don't belong here...GET THE FUCK OUT"

So I go back in there and ask why Zoose is sending me threatening messages. Nobody responded. Finally, the chick that thought the afroditey comment was funny said I should probably leave, because "THE GREEK MAFIA IS IN THIS ROOM!!!!"

I fucking loggedthefuckout.

First litigation, now I gotta go on the lamb.

me=hiding

[Northern Girl]

I'm waiting for the next chapter of the Rustoffa Fucked Up Bigtime series.

[rustoffa]

Originally posted by Northern Girl
I'm waiting for the next chapter of the Rustoffa Fucked Up Bigtime series.

I probably shoulda put the bb gun debacle in this thread. No worries....that kind of shit is like breathing in and out to me.

Some promising news: This dipshit at work left his medic alert bracelet laying around the other day. I found it, and taped a big piece of paper on it that said "if you find me unconscious, revive me with dick-to-mouth recussitation."

Everybody's all pissed off about it.

[rustoffa]

This doesn't have anything to do with interweb shenanigans...I might need a tetanus shot though.

So I went in the garage a couple minutes ago to put the charger on my motocycle battery. The fucking place has turned into a storage area for stuff that doesn't belong there due to the recent holidays. I'm like crawling over cardboard boxes and shit trying to plug the charger in....that's when I realize the surge protector is gone. I'm just ultra-pissed @ this point, and set my beer down before going back in the house to locate the surge protector that probably got enlisted for some stupid fucking christmas lights or something. I never found the droid I was looking for, but managed to procure a replacement. After navigating the menagerie of shit that doesn't belong there, I'm all set to hook the charger up. You know that feeling when you're just ready for a big swig of cold beer after aggravation? I had it, and reached for the wrong can. There is no way to properly describe just how fucking rancid the stuff in that can was. It was possibly 1/4 full of something that had been sitting there for MONTHS. I think it might have been Copenhagen spit from back in like July when I changed the voltage regulator. The shit I spit on the floor looked like motor oil with mushrooms growing on it. I gargled with listerine, then rubbing alcohol, and finally Hydrogen peroxide. I guess it was pretty bad, 'cause the hydrogen peroxide bubbled alot.

I just chugged some milk and cracked another beer.

[Northern Girl]

Ah, don't worry about it. You ever see the shit they digest on Fear Factor?

I think tetanus shots are good for 10 years if you've had one in the past; which I'm guessing you probably have. LOL.

[ALinChainz]

Stoffa ... stay out of the windows ... and don't answer the door!

Beer and milk ... veggies and dairy ... it can't hurt ya ...

[rustoffa]

Holy shit. When I finally found this thread, I noticed the last speel had to do with my garage. So does this one.

You may or may not have noticed the report regarding running over a rattlesnake with my lawnmower. Long story short, that's exactly what I did, and forgot to empty the bag. You understand the premise, right? Pieces of snake were left in the bag after I ran over the fucking thing...like for 36 hours.

Anyway, the little woman just informed me that the dog just puked up some pretty weird stuff on THE HOOD OF HER CAR!!!!

Stay with me now....I wondered immediately why the dog would have jumped onto her car to puke....I have no fucking answer for that. So I go out to the garage to get the ZIPWAX and rags, and notice that the bag on my lawnmower has been CHEWED TO PIECES.

That's right, my dog ate alot of lawnmower bag, dead grass, and pieces of snake.....and decided to throw up on the hood of a car.

Welcome to my world.

[Ally_Kat]

you need to write a novel. I'd buy it

[ThrillsNSpills]

Rustoffa if you want you can always get them with the colon cleanse troll.
In a classic philanthropic move where you can feign concern for peoples' health you can simultaneously disgust them beyond words by showing pictures of what gets removed from a clogged colon which will trigger incredible disgust from the posters.
They can't get mad at you though since you are "helping" them through education.

drnatura.com

I know..it's terrible..but good, eh?

You can go back to the sites you made angry and say wait, I've found this incredible discovery that can help and the tirade can degenerate into the pictured evidence.
It's wrong, I know.

I'm goin down.
down
down
down
down
down

[Ozzy Fudd]

Originally posted by rustoffa
Maybe this should be stickied. That's right, I just fucked up AGAIN. It's pretty fucking funny how I can manage to find THIS thread to bitch about my latest debacle, but still manage to post inappropriate material in the worst places.

There's this motorcycle board that I frequent that's mostly tech stuff....there's one venting forum on it though. Anyway, I just got BANNED for fucking posting a pic I meant to put in Ozzy's stupid shit and bullshit thread. So the venting thread was all fired up about this dude's FXRP (police bike) that he was having problems with and I fucked up. No, I DIDN'T fuck up.....those fucking sphincter-cuntrolled-braking dipshits can fucking fuel inject themselves to hell if this gets a motherfucker BANNED.

Oh Mother Fucker my sides hurt i will make a new thread so you won't
have such Hysterical tragedies ever again.

[rustoffa]

This is kinda live.:eek:

So, like an hour ago, someone deflated a bunch of holiday inflatables'...via pelletgun.


I DIDN'T DO IT.

Hang on.

[rustoffa]

This shit's getting pretty good. Timelined and everything. So, the little woman just told someone she needs to walk the dog. Right after that, I explained that I had a boatload of automatic shotguns, but no bb guns.

[rustoffa]

Sdalright......my dog was accused of sounding like a monkey....the little woman said that whoever decorated the yard must have been a monkey!

[rustoffa]

i just told the bastard that my dog takes pisses wherever....motherfuckers are laughing.....

[rustoffa]

the fat dumbass just asked me why I kept going in the house...I told him I had this crazy weblog that I reported shit on......LMMMFAO!!!!

[rustoffa]

the little woman just told the fat dude that our dog has a high metabolism!!!

[MERRYKISSMASS2U]

Wouldn't have happened on a Mac ;P


Flappo, as I write to you from my 24'' iMac, I am fucking converted.

[rustoffa]

rnjoy it....hangon

[MERRYKISSMASS2U]

Originally posted by Golden AWe
I must admit I've copied some ideas from here to a finnish hockey board...there, if you break the rules, they first ban you for a week, or a month...they don't push you totally out immediately. It's a pretty serious site.

I've been pushing my limits but only received a one-week ban for commenting like a mod, warning about "chat-messages" (how wild!).

They also ban you if they find out your IP has an alias.

The reason I wanna stay on that site is the enormous amount of war/history fanatics! Some intelligent, well-read people there talking about the history of tanks, the historical relationship between finland and Russia, the situation in Israel, etc...everything.

What site is this? Is it in English? I can't get enough Russian history.

[rustoffa]

Here's a few lowlights:

"Why don't you ask the fucker with the 4-stroke about it?"

"Is that a boxer?"

fuckyou

"Where's the fat motherfucker!!??"


hangh on

[rustoffa]

This shit is over....like literally. The porch light is out.

[rustoffa]

October 2, 2007:

Have you turned on the evening news lately? Yeah, me neither. See, I've been dealing with my broken fucking leg. That's right, laying on the sofa with a broken leg has a strikingly profound effect on one's interest in current events. Does healing have a direct correlation to sloth? Do the constant, dulling sensations of pain make one crave anything in HIGH DEFINITION?

Maybe.

Earlier today, I had the scheduled chance to visit a bone and joint specialist. Nothing at all to do with rock and roll......a PHYSICIAN. The waiting room at the specialist's office was nothing short of spectacular. Honestly, why in the fuck would anyone pick up a goddamned magazine? Wheelchairs are the new gocarts....casts' are flamboyant accessories! This dude two chairs away asked me about the brace on my leg....like, "what's up with that?" I went, "I've got this insane high leg fracture, how 'bout you?" He goes, "my old lady has a broken pelvis, there ain't nothin' wrong with me." Right after that particularly riveting exchange, a lady called my name. Sure, it's happened before, but not in a waiting room.

Walking into the sterile confines of a specialists' inner sanctum ain't for the faint of heart. *thanks dude in the waiting room* "GO THERE." "GO DOWN THERE AND GET A MOTHERFUCKING X-RAY." Fairly impersonal stuff. After getting a motherfucking x-ray, and going back there, I had no choice but to wait on the specialist. After a few minutes, the fucker walks in, looks at the motherfucking x-ray, and tells me that my broken fucking leg is barely healing!! I went, "I've been experiencing sharp pains, and drinking alot of beer." He kinda laughed, and asked me if I'd been keeping my weight off my leg. I made a joke about that being redundant, and he said I should get a cane if I didn't like the crutch. Just this full-on scolding look to boot. I assured him that I would.

Thirty or so minutes later, I call the little woman and ask her to stop by the GOODWILL on her way home.....to buy me a cane. She fucking LAUGHED-OUT-LOUD!!! This response didn't sit well with me....what the fuck happened to "in sickness and in health"? So she calls me back from the thrift store.....*laughing* "they're all out of canes." After hanging up immediately, I decided to drive to the CVS.

"Do y'all sell walking canes?" That's what I asked the vapid bitch behind the counter. She goes, "who's it for?" I went, "it's for me....do I need a prescription?" She goes, "naw, why do you need a cane?" Unfuckingbelievable. After a deep breath, I aksed to speak to her manager. This fat motherfucking bitch eventually waddles out of some CVS wormhole somewhere.....goes, "what's the problem?" I told her that her daughter was being rude to me, and wouldn't tell me where the motherfucking walking canes were. The fat motherfucking manager goes, "that ain't my daughter, don't you watch the evening news?....the walking canes are over by the pharmacy."

I eventually found the walking canes, and had to check-out via the aforementioned vapid bitch behind the counter. She asked me why I needed the cane again, and I told her that I had a broken leg. "Rally?" "REALLY." She seemed genuinely concerned for a second, and I told her that I enjoyed meeting her and her mom.

On my way towards the door, she goes "You're a fucking dumbass."