War Stories

[ashstralia]

were all musicians who've played in front of people, right?

what funny shit have you seen, or experienced while on stage?

i have a recent one.

it's the third (last) set at a local surf club.

we're belting through a fast chunky song which is basically
an a power chord.

my a string broke, so i immediately go to the octave,
fret5 e fret7 d.

but the a string is flapping around in the way.
so, in between strums, i grab it and yank it to break it and get it out of the way.

mission accomplished,
but the core of the string went straight through the ring finger of my right hand.
i feel the pain, but continue playing.

finish song with many young punks throwing me devil horns,
and a very bloody strat.

[DrMaddVibe]

Similar story only with a bass!

I gushed blood all over the place. Didn't hit an artery but it poured out of my hand like I did(meaty part of my thumb!!!!). Got a response out of the crowd afterwards and got "nursed" up by a cutie afterwards!

No pain...no gain!

[Nitro Express]

I was standing close to the baracade at a Molly Hatchet concert in the early 80's and the lead singer was this fat, greasey, slob. Oh he fit the part and it was good southern rock and roll but the dude tossed out one of his sweat soaked towels and a big hole opened up in the audience because nobody wanted to touch that towel. It was like the red sea had parted or someone has blown puke. A mass of stoned and drunk people pushed and shoved their way to safety.

Now if David Lee Roth through that towel out there in 1983, the chicks would have fought over it and torn it to bits.

[Big Fat Sammy]

LMAO at the Molly Hatchet story...

I played in a band that opened up for Southern Rock Allstars, and it was THE SAME FAT DUDE that you are talking about singing, I'm quite sure, really nasty lookin', all greasy and shit.

[BrownSound1]

I played this party once that was one fucking disaster after another. For one it was colder than fuck, and I'm sure most of you know it is damn impossible to play when you can't feel the strings. Anyway, our drummer was the receipient of most of the drama. He was cutting the fingers out of some gloves with a razor blade, and he slipped and cut himself under his nose. He was bleeding like a stuck pig, so he takes a bandana and ties it around his head and under his nose. Kind of like people used to do with toothaches, except it went under the nose instead of the chin. I can just remember looking back at him and laughing because it looked so fucking funny.

We go halfway through the set, when all of a sudden there is no bass drum...spring breaks on the pedal. One song after that I break a string, and my whole guitar goes out of whack...this was before I started resting my whammy on the body. So we take a break to try and gather ourselves. Then we think we have the technical problems licked, and we blow a fuse on the PA.

It was the worst fucking gig I've ever been a part of. I have never had one worse than that. Poor drummer had to get 6 stitches under his nose, to top it off, and still sports a small scar today. It is funny now, but we all thought we were ruined when all of that happened.

[Big Fat Sammy]

Thats a good one! My worst injury....

Once I was playing a gig where the stage was carpeted with really thick carpet...and the mic stands were real bouncy, ya know, on that carpet.

I forgot the words to a song, and was trying to remember them before I began singing, I had my back turned away from the audience.

Well I remembered them at the very last second and turned around real quick to get to the mic on time...and stepped really hard on the base of the mic stand...it came towards me as I was lunging towards it...smack! Right in the teeth.

I didn't miss a lyric...but during the solo I thought I had a piece of the mic stuck on my tooth or something...I kept feeling it with my tongue...something hanging there.

After the song I went into the bathroom and looked in the mirror and it was my front tooth hanging there...chipped it right off!

[ashstralia]

ha ha!

i knew we'd get some good ones.
hey brownsound, how the hell did he get himself near the nose?
was he holding the glove in his teeth? (he IS a drummer, after all)

and i've done that too, bfs.. even shittier when a rogue dancing chick
stumbles into your stand while your eyes are shut! hehe.

another time i went to jump between two mic stands, onto the dance floor.
my headstock caught the mic cable, they were all snaked together,
so i took 3 sm58's + stands with me!

fookin hilarious! heheh

[Big Fat Sammy]

Yeah gettin snagged in the cords is a classic move. lol

I've had other minor incedents with those drunk dancing girls who wanna get to close, as well.

I've gotta watch out for them tonight, I've got a substitute gig in what they call a "Redneck Bar" in the states...You got them in Austrialia too...it will probably be just like the bar in Crocodile Dundee.

[Big Fat Sammy]

Bumping this up with a good one....

Last week playing Comfest...the largest inner city fest in the US BTW

On the MAIN STAGE!

It's 4 PM, and shit hot outside....and we had just done a few nights back to back.

The singers that I play in the backing band of, wear polyester suits...and in the time it took for them to get from the dressing room to the stage they were soaked in sweat.

It was a GREAT show up until the next to last song, when the female singer was singing lead on a tune and stopped, turned around and walked back to the drum riser.

I thought "what the fuck is she doing?"...she then walked back to the mic and continued.

A few seconds later she turned again, walked back to the riser while the other singers covered her part this time....

She puked on the drums...and instantly colapsed, bouncing off the drum riser, sprawled out on the stage not moving....in front of a festival crowd.

Then she was twitching about...like a seizure.

I thought for SURE that she just DIED and I panicked ripped into a nasty solo as some sort of tribute I guess..lol

We tagged on a nice forshortened ending as the singers tryed to help her and the paramedics arrived on stage...I was SCARED...I knew she was DOA.

She was down and not moving for a good 15 minutes...

She eventually came back to life...one of the paramedics told me it was heat related, probably combined with exaustion.

It was really scary I tell ya. I never once thought about it being heat related, I was for sure, in my head at the time, that it was a heart attack or something.

Shes fine now and ready for 5 shows in 4 days starting tomorrow.

Chalk up another War Story

[Hardrock69]

I was playing in a band in the mid-80s, and the singer was kinda bent over head banging.

Anyway, I leaned over, and was too far over, and he picked that moment to stand straight up....right into my nose...I thought I had broke it or something...turned my back to the audience and was able to finish the song....the crowd kinda freaked out...strangely enough no nosebleed....

[Big Fat Sammy]

Originally posted by Hardrock69
I was playing in a band in the mid-80s, and the singer was kinda bent over head banging.

Anyway, I leaned over, and was too far over, and he picked that moment to stand straight up....right into my nose...I thought I had broke it or something...turned my back to the audience and was able to finish the song....the crowd kinda freaked out...strangely enough no nosebleed....

BAM!!!

[Redballjets88]

wow that would suck balls

[Hardrock69]

It did. Some of the people in the front of the audience looked like they truly were feeling sorry for me haha....

I did not hold it against our vocalist though.

And the other guitarist and I tormented him occasionally anyway. Ya know how when you cut off the strings at the tuning pegs...there is sometimes a bit of the end sticking straight up? Well all we would do is walk up behind our vocalist and push the front of the headstock against his butt **BOING!**

Strings are dangerous!

I am usually REALLY cautious when winding up my high E string for the first time....I have had them break and then had the string whiplash across my face.

OWWWWW!!!!

:eek:

[Nitro Express]

Heres a good one my older sister told me. This occured in 1977.

My sis is at a New Years party and they had some funk type band playing. The singer has white pants on. He's a moving and a grooving and starting to sweat. Well, his ass crack area is starting to stain brown. The more he goes on and sweats the worse it becomes. The dude has a big ass stain. Obviousely he didn't wipe good and had major klingons that turned his sweaty ass crack into shit tea in which his white pants were soaking up and showing the whole audience.

Now that's some embarassment there.

[ashstralia]

Originally posted by Nitro Express
Heres a good one my older sister told me. This occured in 1977.

My sis is at a New Years party and they had some funk type band playing. The singer has white pants on. He's a moving and a grooving and starting to sweat. Well, his ass crack area is starting to stain brown. The more he goes on and sweats the worse it becomes. The dude has a big ass stain. Obviousely he didn't wipe good and had major klingons that turned his sweaty ass crack into shit tea in which his white pants were soaking up and showing the whole audience.

Now that's some embarassment there.

hahahahahahahah!!!

coupla years ago, during a test cricket match here,

the indian wicket keeper had the same problem.

crouching down, white pants, 40c heat, mr. brownstain!!!!!!

the camera showed a final 'rear shot', with the commentators snickering

in the background. then he left and changed his duds.



hahahahahahahaha!!!!

[Nitro Express]

Wipe your ass good before you go on the stage!

[Big Fat Sammy]

Originally posted by Nitro Express
Heres a good one my older sister told me. This occured in 1977.

My sis is at a New Years party and they had some funk type band playing. The singer has white pants on. He's a moving and a grooving and starting to sweat. Well, his ass crack area is starting to stain brown. The more he goes on and sweats the worse it becomes. The dude has a big ass stain. Obviousely he didn't wipe good and had major klingons that turned his sweaty ass crack into shit tea in which his white pants were soaking up and showing the whole audience.

Now that's some embarassment there.

Its funny that this happened in 1977 and people still remember...LMAO