Joke thread

[envy_me]

Maybe I've shared this before, I don't remember

[envy_me]

Am I the only one interested in this thread? Lol

[envy_me]

[envy_me]

[vandeleur]

This is the inscription above the door as you enter the army

image.jpg

[vandeleur]

Seriously I need to work out how to make pics bigger or ... Or something

[envy_me]

Seriously I need to work out how to make pics bigger or ... Or something

You have to go to From URL and then put the adress there, and very important to uncheck the "Retrieve remote file and reference locally".
Then it will be the same size as it is on the adress that you are getting the picture from.

[VAiN]

You have to go to From URL and then put the adress there, and very important to uncheck the "Retrieve remote file and reference locally".
Then it will be the same size as it is on the adress that you are getting the picture from.

Look at you being all tech savvy

[envy_me]

Look at you being all tech savvy

Lol You ain't seen nothing yet

[envy_me]

I'm gonna drown you guys in cat pictures

[envy_me]

Dildoking

[Von Halen]

I'm gonna drown you guys in cat pictures

Here kitty kitty.

[envy_me]

[envy_me]

[envy_me]

[envy_me]

[TFM_Dale]

This is the inscription above the door as you enter the army

image.jpg

I thought cdog left?

[envy_me]

This is so funny. I love this dog

[LoungeMachine]

As a guitarist, I play many gigs. Recently I was asked by a funeral director to play at a graveside service for a homeless man. He had no family or friends, so the service was to be at a pauper’s cemetery in the back country. As I was not familiar with the backwoods, I got lost.

I finally arrived an hour late and saw the funeral guy had evidently gone and the hearse was nowhere in sight. There were only the diggers and crew left and they were eating lunch.

I felt badly and apologized to the men for being late. I went to the side of the grave and looked down and the vault lid was already in place. I didn’t know what else to do, so I started to play.

The workers put down their lunches and began to gather around. I played out my heart and soul for this man with no family and friends. I played like I’ve never played before for this homeless man.

And as I played ‘Amazing Grace,’ the workers began to weep. They wept, I wept, we all wept together. When I finished I packed up my guitar and started for my car. Though my head hung low, my heart was full.

As I opened the door to my car, I heard one of the workers say, “I never seen nothin’ like that before and I’ve been putting in septic tanks for twenty years.”

Apparently, I’m still lost…

[Angel]

As a guitarist, I play many gigs. Recently I was asked by a funeral director to play at a graveside service for a homeless man. He had no family or friends, so the service was to be at a pauper’s cemetery in the back country. As I was not familiar with the backwoods, I got lost.

I finally arrived an hour late and saw the funeral guy had evidently gone and the hearse was nowhere in sight. There were only the diggers and crew left and they were eating lunch.

I felt badly and apologized to the men for being late. I went to the side of the grave and looked down and the vault lid was already in place. I didn’t know what else to do, so I started to play.

The workers put down their lunches and began to gather around. I played out my heart and soul for this man with no family and friends. I played like I’ve never played before for this homeless man.

And as I played ‘Amazing Grace,’ the workers began to weep. They wept, I wept, we all wept together. When I finished I packed up my guitar and started for my car. Though my head hung low, my heart was full.

As I opened the door to my car, I heard one of the workers say, “I never seen nothin’ like that before and I’ve been putting in septic tanks for twenty years.”

Apparently, I’m still lost…

Haha. Was on my FB feed today.

[LoungeMachine]

I met a girl in the park the other evening. There was an instant spark between us and she immediately dropped to her knees and laid on the grass at my feet. As I was banging the hell out of her. I thought "These taser guns are well worth the money."

[envy_me]

[envy_me]

A man and a friend are playing golf one day at their local golf course. One of the guys is about to chip onto the green when he sees a long funeral procession on the road next to the course. He stops in mid-swing, takes off his golf cap, closes his eyes, and bows down in prayer.

His friend says: “Wow, that is the most thoughtful and touching thing I have ever seen. You truly are a kind man.”

The man then replies: “Yeah, well we were married 35 years.”

[envy_me]

I have another one, but it's not PC..

[LoungeMachine]

I have another one, but it's not PC..

Mac jokes are allowed.....

[envy_me]

Mac jokes are allowed.....

Here it goes:

What do you name a retarded Chinese baby?

"Sum Ting Wong"

[LoungeMachine]

Here it goes:

What do you name a retarded Chinese baby?

Cato?

[envy_me]

[envy_me]

[Sum Ting Wong]

Here it goes:

What do you name a retarded Chinese baby?

"Sum Ting Wong"

Oooh I see wat yoo did there! Yoke on yoo tho, I not Chineese!

Now lets see yur baroney tits!

[envy_me]

Oooh I see wat yoo did there! Yoke on yoo tho, I not Chineese!

Now lets see yur baroney tits!

Where are you from, Sum Ting?

[Sum Ting Wong]

Yoo smat gurl, yoo figgure it out!

[envy_me]

Yoo smat gurl, yoo figgure it out!

I want you to be from China.

[Sum Ting Wong]

Yoo rike rittle Chineese weeny?

[envy_me]

Yoo rike rittle Chineese weeny?

Lol, no!

[Sum Ting Wong]

No rittle chinky egg rorr for henry_me. Okiedokie.

[envy_me]

No rittle chinky egg rorr for henry_me. Okiedokie.

Maybe I can learn to like it *wink*

[Sum Ting Wong]

Yoo meen rearn to rike.

[Igosplut]

Where's your partner there slant eye?

[Sum Ting Wong]

Not no. Maby in teh prane?